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Thread: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

  1. #1
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    So I'm getting a bit more into the dayjob: learning more details, coming up with ideas for improvement, getting to know some of the people, etc. I like the work and it seems to like me. I can do well here.

    BUT. The woman I was hired to replace is NOT happy about the situation. Initially she seemed to be placing all her negative feelings on the boss - the one who decided to replace her and hired me. I think she realized I was just someone who answered an ad and not the cause of her inevitable job loss.

    I am doing nothing but what I'm supposed to do - trying to learn the job, behaving professionally and courteously with everyone, even being somewhat friendly. The boss wanted this woman to train me so I could see what's being done and then take over and improve the system. He's told her he's unhappy with the current system and, indirectly, that she won't be needed once I'm trained.

    She seemed ok (a bit patronizing and sneaky, but nothing too weird considering the situation) until last week, when the boss was on vacation. Suddenly I could feel/hear/see her getting more - let's say unfriendly - with me. Pulling coworkers into her office and closing the door, whispering right in front of me; hissing and then getting quiet when I come near; commenting rather rudely about how I'll soon be taking her inboxes and such; and graduating to making snide comments about my appearance and comparing herself to me (referring to me as "cuter than me" to my face, for example). There's more but it's I'm sure you get the point.

    So I go in to work this morning - I usually arrive earlier than her. Had a doc appt at 10:30 so had to leave for that. Get to my car and find broken eggs all over it. All over the roof, down both front and back windshields, and down one side.

    WTF??

    I am positive this woman was responsible. I have been nothing but nice to this bitch, and she does something like this?? Never mind the fact it's not MY fault she's about to lose her job - if she'd been performing up to par the boss wouldn't want to replace her. Or the fact that HE made that decision and I'm just a bystander.

    Ugh.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  2. #2
    Senior Member TorontoGuy's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Bad work environments tend to breed bad employees - and any 'boss' who is trying to get someone to train their own replacement while hanging the axe over their head is a fool. At best he could hope that she'll deliberately mistrain you so you'll mess up the job... and he's got to know that all the women in the office will assume you were hired for your looks. Hell, the guys will make the same assumption, they just won't care as much.

    Since this woman can't take out her resentment on the boss, she's taking it out on you. That's HER mistake - she shouldn't be holding the situation against you. However, imagine how you'd feel if ten years from now a new girl is hired who doesn't have as many wrinkles, and you're asked to train her knowing that when you're done, you're going to get fired!

    If this woman really needed to be let go, a good boss would have hired you as her 'assistant' and then fired her for cause once you could do the job without ever letting her know it was planned that way from the beginning, or simply fired her and dropped you into her position with the best training he could manage.

    So, right from the start at this new job you know your boss isn't the sharpest, the women think you were hired for your tits, and the men assume the women are right. It'll take you some time to overcome all that crap - and that's assuming the boss isn't really a creep who hired you just for your tits, in which case you may never overcome it.

    I'd suggest dressing a little on the conservative side and never, ever doing anything that could be seen as flirting with the boss.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Bridgette- you need to SOAP the eggs off of the car (with car soap, of course, not detergent.) Any egg goop left sticking to the paint will ruin the finish & cause peeling. Might wanna wax & buff it too if the eggs were stuck for a while. (<Redneck girl car tips!)
    AND my mom had something like this happen to her at a county office job- a guy she reported for a big work violation broke the window on her new car.
    & A stripper did something this immature when she got fired from our club & we shared a housing unit- she tampered with the food she left in the fridge, just to spite everyone. People can be really pathetic. Sorry to hear about this.

  4. #4
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Well, I do dress very conservatively. Business suits and hair up everyday. I wear glasses. I don't show my body at ALL. Considering this and the way the other coworkers have treated me, I don't think they (most, at least) believe I was hired for my looks. This woman is simply taking her anger out on me and using her jealousy of my appearance and diligence with the job as fuel for the fire.

    As for the boss - his original plan was to transfer the other woman to a different position after having me trained. I guess that's out now tho. This woman has been with the company for 9 months - which speaks more to the idea that she really isn't doing the job as well as it could/should be done and that would be why she's getting replaced. From what I gather, he and his peers discussed the best way to handle the situation, and because of the uniqueness of the job, decided it would be best to have the person doing it now train the new-hire in order to give the best perspective. He spoke to her as well and they had discussed a transfer for her, rather than simple firing.

    I did take my car to the carwash - I had called bf to complain and he told me to get it washed asap.

    I will be sure to park right up front from now on

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  5. #5
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    I fricking HATE when "problem employees" are either accomodated out of fear from others, or they weasel a way into staying around.......some people.....
    Methinks part of why this lady is getting the boot has to do with stunts like this. The last time I egged anything, I was nine years old.

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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    It's just what happens when you work with women. It's not about you.

    I've been blessed to have worked in all-stag environments and it is a REAL blessing that I am thankful for.

    During the midday, I go home for a break so I miss the majority of the women who work where I do and at night there are none. It's like night and day environment wise.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  7. #7
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Nah fuck that. There is a discernible difference between all-stag and mixed.

    I can put up with men who are highly skilled but "difficult." They tend to be different in ways that are manageable.

    For hires, I look for competence first, personality second, assuminf the person isn't psycho.

    Relating to topic, I read this book a while ago to get some laughs, but it might offer some useful things:


    It's actually pretty popular.

    I will say that most women tend to be far TOO aggressive in trying to climb the career ladder. Sounds like Bridgette's predecessor was one of those types. I've noticed women get FAR more territorial about their "responsbilities" at work and a stunt like egging somebody's car, while a bit unusual, is only a more extreme example of a lot of more petty things I've seen occur frequently.

    Basically, my point is that Bridgette shouldn't take it personally. Some may disagree with my assetment, but that has certainly been my experience working in 3 large bureaucracies and observing women in the military and corporate world and how they treat each other. A lot of people comment on it who have never been there but they just don't realize that it really is quite cutthroat and people often get offended at the success of others. It happens in guys, but not too badly. But it has seemed to be the norm with women.


    The understanding where I work now is "you can teach a skill but not a personality". So, we are trying to screen new hires with that in mind.
    You guys have years to grow experienced programmers and other technical types? I wish we had that kind of time. Turnover here is high and one of the trickiest challenges is meshing in highly experienced but new to the project at hand people.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  8. #8
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    The women I didn't think I would get along with initially have turned out to be great friends and resources. There are still a few chix who go out of their way to ignore me, but I've found some real gems. Gauge your personality versus hers, you might find that working on a similar communication style could help...or not...sometimes we just have to deal with suckass colleauges.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  9. #9
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Sh0t: I totally agree with females being cattier. Females tend to be simultaneously very social and very competitive, and self-conscious as well. This means that rather than confront someone and look like the bad guy, they tend to pursue feelings of security by talking shit with others and knowing that she's not the only one that feels that way. They also tend to talk shit because they want to reinforce the fact that they are not like the person that they're trashing (ex. OMG that girl is such a slut, I could never be such a skanky bitch, or better yet, it's the reason why we trash prostitutes so much, because we want to reinforce the fact that we do not sell our bodies).

    This book is totally about other females in the workplace. I'm a nurse, so I'm surrounded by majority females.
    Last edited by Krazyjane; 01-04-2006 at 02:51 AM.

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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    I had to order that. I love reading stories about women pulling crazy shit on other chicks. That's the primary reason why I'm on this forum.

    I wish you much patience at being a nurse and I wish Bridgette good luck at her new job spot and I hope that the career change will at least help her fashion sense.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  11. #11
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    I'm gonna order it when I have money, please tell me what you think.

  12. #12
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Bridgette - I know you said you were sure, but are you SURE? I mean there is a big difference between rudeness and vandalism. It seems more likely that someone (I'd be thinking a kid) thought your car belonged to someone else.

    Also, TG is right. It's really weird to fire someone and have them train the replacement. I've never actually seen that. Most of the time when people are fired they are escorted to their desks and then out of the building (I mean, nicely, but still). Is that only an IT thing? It's actually wildly inappropriate to get someone to train a replacement by saying that you are promoting her (and if she was being promoted why did she have the hate on to begin with?) and then changing your mind. There is something kind of wrong with that.

    Other hand - she's right; you are taking over her inboxes (tee hee) and not much will change that, so you don't really need to put up with her for much longer.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  13. #13
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    To me, it seems that about the best you can do is take the high road, endure with patience, and not burn any bridges. When she's gone, a new chapter begins, and you won't have a big bad-emotions piece of luggage to carry into the new chapter.

    I'd be tempted to comment to a few people, "Wow, my car got egged here. Does that happen often?" Probably won't produce anything, but something might get flushed out somehow.

    The worst work environment of my career was a mostly male one, quite testosterone-charged. The best environment was mostly female.

  14. #14
    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t
    I've been blessed to have worked in all-stag environments and it is a REAL blessing that I am thankful for.
    Yeah, women have a ways to go to top some of their male counterparts in the workplace.

    http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/news/13496684.htm

    http://www.fox6.com/news/local/story...4-C24954F241DC

    http://cbs4boston.com/local/local_story_360143137.html

    -Ev

  15. #15
    Pamela
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    I agree with Jay. I have been through sooooo much shit with my corp. job. I actually took my BOSS to administration! Because she was not helping a matter i had with a security officer.

    That move earned me respect with her. I never fought with her, or talked about her, but went above her head!

    I burn no bridges, but sit back and wait for a new body!

    In the corp. world it is very very different than dancing. But it's also very do-able. Keep your mouth shut, ignore, and do the work. Gets to be too much of a hassle....go above her head...but i would leave that for the far future.

    It's too damn easy to ignore people in the work place. If you dont listen, it wont bother you.

    As for you car. Report it, since it happened on work property, but dont point fingers.

    However there was one thing i did do (I was at a 6 year breaking point with my job at thst time however)

    Made sure i and the other person are alone. And said (it was a female) "i know your game, and i play it better, get the fuck off my ass"!) She probably told friends etc. i did not give a shit, i never said another word to her...but had enough....it was SIX fucking years with her shit. She one day left about 1 year later. But...i never had a problem with her again while she was there, talk was just talk.

    I got lucky. I will speak my mind..but not with others around, this was between her and me. She backed off. I meant it, i was not fucking with her anymore, i was there to work. Period.

    Pamela

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    I can relate to your situation. I've had jealous co-workers who decided that I was their enemy or some other threat. In one case I even quit after he kept stealing my work documents, and two years later he was fired for trying to steal patent rights. My boss, who had supported him over me, came to realize what a slug he was too. I hate fighting at work; I just want to be productive and get my work done so I can feel good about my contributions and my salary.

    This ex-worker is passive-aggressive. That is likely part of why she is being booted out. If the boss had known that, or asked co-workers how this might work out, s/he would have known better. Sometimes it works out to have such a worker train a replacement, but it usually does not, especially if they are passive-aggressive. This always causes resentment. How is he going to fix the situation now?

    I've had bosses that refuse to take the effort to understand anything but superficial stuff about me, other than my work. They have made bad decisions and have done superficial reviews, etc. (i.e. rate characteristics they know nothing at all about). Bosses need to realize that their workers are their TOOLS, and they should understand their tools very well to get the best out of them.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    I think your problems will soon be gone ( hopefully ) . If this behavior persists though you really need to tell your supervisor and explain the situation . I know this can be tough to do because you feel like the new kid and what is mngmt gonna think of you ( the new gal is a troublemaker ) . As for the car just my experience dudes dont fuck with cars ! Its got to be a female or like said previously a kid .I left my job because I was tired of all the politics and back stabbing people around me .It was the hardest decision of my life but in the end it payed off - and now the guy who took my place has come over my house and asked me how I was able to put up with all the shit , as he is close to getting fired for his rude behavior towards others . He was one of the reasons I left but I will still help him out by talking etc - why do I do this ? I guess I still appreciate what the company did for me over the years who knows .

  18. #18
    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette
    I will be sure to park right up front from now on
    Careful, especially since you are in retail, employers get pissed off by employees who take really good parking spots meant for customers, that they (employers) would never take for themselves.

    Could have been a very sneaky move on her part if she knows you're boss is especially uptight about it.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Quote Originally Posted by weird Canadian estrogen factory
    Also, TG is right. It's really weird to fire someone and have them train the replacement. I've never actually seen that. Most of the time when people are fired they are escorted to their desks and then out of the building (I mean, nicely, but still). Is that only an IT thing? It's actually wildly inappropriate to get someone to train a replacement by saying that you are promoting her (and if she was being promoted why did she have the hate on to begin with?) and then changing your mind.
    Certainly hasn't been my experience in IT and software engineering. What kind of training can you do in a such a small period of time? If it was something as simple as showing somebody where x is and where y is, the person is hopefully smart enough to be able to read instructions and information-containing documentation.




    The worst work environment of my career was a mostly male one, quite testosterone-charged. The best environment was mostly female.
    Like clock work Jay Zeno, I KNEW you were gonna post something exactly like this. Dude I can't even imagine what "testosterone charged" is supposed to mean as a negative in the context of getting serious work done.
    AND, especially when you begin managing people and such, women become EXTREME liabilities to your peace of mind because you have to walk on eggshells when dealing with them(and even during the interviewing and hiring process) and especially if you have to reprimand or criticize them.

    The women I've encountered in the workplace outside of the military have mostly all been the wannabe high-powered power-suit wearing types who can't take a DROP of criticism at all. I talk to my guys and I give them immediate and very frank feedback on things, especially if it is bad. I can do that with them and it gets done to me from up the chain. That is something that I have simply yet to see when a party involved is a woman, for whatever reason. I don't think it's been my own isolated experience.

    Also, in my experience, a "testosterone charged" environment tends to be FAR more relaxed than a mixed one despite having a higher intensity. You can talk about a lot more subjects, racier things, joke around a lot more, obviously make cracks about women you can't do in their presence and generally bond a lot better.
    You can't love something you think is flawless - me


  20. #20
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Guess this cattiness is no different than what happens amongst strippers.



  21. #21
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    You know, Sh0t - I manufacture things besides estrogen.

    I don't understand your question - there would be no training of the replacement. That is the point. Most frequently, there was no replacement. I, of course, was never an IT professional. I was just an office serf.

    I can see what you are talking about though. Like I can see how making inappropriate jokes and slagging girls is crucial to a work environment, and really conducive to getting things done - much more, than say just NOT doing those things.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Sh0t. WTF?? I need better fashion sense?

    As for the rest: I did talk with the boss as soon as I got back in the office, and it gave me the opening to express how tense the situation has been with her. She won't be around much longer, so all I have to do is bide my time until she's gone.

    I was hired to improve efficiency and productivity in the dept. For whatever reason, there are MANY things which have been let go for a long time - using antiquated procedures and tools which just don't cut the mustard in a busy office - and I am supposed to fix that. She is getting axed because boss feels she hasn't done enough to improve efficiency, and frankly from what I can see, I think so too. In the meantime I just have to learn what's being done now and why. No one else really knows her job enough to train me, so I guess they were stuck asking her to do it. It is waaaaay too complicated to just give someone a manual and expect them to take over.

    Regarding the egging: The lady came to me today and told me she 'heard from someone' that she's being blamed for it and boss is very upset about it. Well, I didn't spread the word around - told the boss and his assistant (only told her because had to explain why I was late returning from my doc appt but did not go into too much detail). I didn't talk to anyone else about it, and I'm inclined to believe the asst wouldn't have spilled, so I think the boss might've had a talk with her. Honestly I don't feel I can trust almost anything she says. I've been feeling the tension mounting with her.

    Anyway, I'm writing yet another book so I'll quit now. I think it'll blow over soon.

    Oh yeah, lunchbox - I'm not in retail. I took another offer - office job for a custom manufacturing company. Dept mgr. So we can park where we want and it's first come first served.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  23. #23
    God/dess Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    yep, working in an office with women can SUCK! I used to have a job where I was an accountant and this little BITCH who hated me and another girl reported us to the CEO for playing solitaire on a SLOW day for like FIVE MINUTES! Can you believe that shit! She hated us from the get-go because we were temps and made more than her (and maybe because we weren't fatasses like her too) and so she did whatever she could to get us in trouble. So instead of reporting it to her supervisor she runs to the fucking CEO of a HUGE corporation and tattles like a fucking baby. Whatever. My friend prank called her and had her so freaked out that she got the shits and had to go home for the day. I didn't even know he was going to do it but I heard the voicemail on her phone and knew it was him immediately. ha! oh well. That was a while ago and since then I've learned to just ignore the bitches like that when I've worked with them. Luckily I don't have that kind of workplace anymore but it sucks. And it can happen with guys too. My brother has some asshole he's dealing with at work now who accused him of hacking his account and had an ethics investigation launched. All he did was send out an e-mail with the guys account pointing out that he was a dumbass because the program he wrote that the whole department used automatically logged the user into his account. The world is full of assholes in every profession. Sorry you're dealing with that girl though. At least it sounds like her ass will be gone in the future.

  24. #24
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Oh yeah. I'm getting the corner office. Another dept mgr was moved to an office nearer her dept, so I'll get that one. No silly cubes or crappy offices for me. HA!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  25. #25
    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: People in the 'real' world are no better than strippers!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sh0t
    AND, especially when you begin managing people and such, women become EXTREME liabilities to your peace of mind because you have to walk on eggshells when dealing with them(and even during the interviewing and hiring process) and especially if you have to reprimand or criticize them.

    The women I've encountered in the workplace outside of the military have mostly all been the wannabe high-powered power-suit wearing types who can't take a DROP of criticism at all. I talk to my guys and I give them immediate and very frank feedback on things, especially if it is bad. I can do that with them and it gets done to me from up the chain. That is something that I have simply yet to see when a party involved is a woman, for whatever reason. I don't think it's been my own isolated experience.
    Well, good, I'm glad to hear you'll be able to take my immediate and frank criticism. It's apparent to me from your description that you have one way of managing and have not learned how to effectively manage anyone other than the people who are already accustomed to your style. That is YOUR weakness, and your bosses may have the same if that's their style too. It is contributing to a situation that's potentially discriminatory against women simply because you're not able to vary your management style to meet the situation. Get off your laurels and improve your management style. Not because it's the right thing to do, hell, f**k that reason, but because the diversity will make your company stronger against potential competitors and make your job more secure.

    -Ev

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    By GentlemanX in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 10-06-2007, 05:48 AM

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