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Thread: Resolutions for 2006

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    Veteran Member lwtex52's Avatar
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    Default Resolutions for 2006

    For 2006, I resolve:

    A) To quit thinking of the following locations as places to meet the opposite sex:
    1) STD Clinics
    2) Truckdriver conventions
    3) Greyhound Bus stations
    4) WalMart
    5) The Self-Help Section at Barnes and Noble.

    B) I furthermore resolve to not use the following as pickup lines in bars:
    1) How much?
    2) You may not remember me, but we met at the DuPont-Rothschild wedding. You were stunning in a designer gown by Armani, and I was immaculately attired in an orange plaid sportcoat, turquoise seersucker pants, and matching tri-color bowling shoes.
    3) Yes, I am a virgin.

    C) Finally, I resolve to improve my reputation by no longer engaging in phonesex in the express checkout line at Safeway.
    Last edited by lwtex52; 01-07-2006 at 03:58 PM. Reason: Typos
    My latest conspiracy theory: I am convinced that Dick Cheney is, in reality, Elmer Fudd.

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