Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 26 to 42 of 42

Thread: why ignored

  1. #26
    God/dess FBR's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2003
    Posts
    8,351
    Thanks
    85
    Thanked 342 Times in 244 Posts
    Blog Entries
    3
    My Mood
    Mellow

    Default Re: why ignored

    Quote Originally Posted by girlnew156
    A very wealthy man once came into a club I was working at.

    Oh, yeah, he had money, but was replusive as hell.

    So some of the gals finally went up there, and he did not want them.
    He pointed out who he wanted. One of them, me.
    What he wanted he got.

    Yeah, made real good money, but being around him made me feel
    so degraded. I should have gotten thicker skinned, but there are
    some people that I really rather not be around.
    Probably a great lesson here for the OP.

    Hes a self proclaimed decent looking guy with presumably a reasonable amount of money to spend. And yet he gets squat for attention apparently due to his shyness and perhaps his tendency to put strippers on a pedestal (my guess). OTOH, Mr Repulsive from your example has big bucks and the confidence that money can buy and all he has to do is snap his his fingers to have all the dancers he wants, including you. I suspect your remorse and disgust, after the fact, was a non-issue to Mr Repulsive.

    Should the OP try and take on all the attributes of a guy like Mr R? Probably not, but digesting and coming to terms with the fact that money and confidence talk in a strip club would likely help him get out of the slump he's in.

    FBR
    Last edited by FBR; 01-08-2006 at 02:22 PM.
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  2. #27
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    923
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    I'm pretty sure this has more to do with technical details than the original poster being personally off-putting...

    1) Chair positioning. Are the seats around the bar a tight squeeze? Are you walled into a huge line of dudes packed in around the bar like sardines? Because then the issue might be that a dancer doesn't even have enough leg room to wedge in next to you and do her thing and it looks like more of a pain in the ass than it's worth. It's best to keep a respectable amount of space around you if you want to be approached, just for simple logistical reasons.

    2) If you go to the club with a buddy, do dancers walk up and say hello to both of you, waiting to see which one of you will bite? Does your buddy immediately step all over your game and take it upon himself to either dismiss or encourage the dancer himself? When I walk up to people sitting with their friends, I take my cues from whoever takes the lead. If you are a shy type and your friend isn't, I suggest that you tell him which dancers you like so that he can use his big mouth/big balls/stripper-drawing skills to send a little action your way. It might be one of those situations where neither of you realize that he's subliminally stepping on your toes, and if that's the case, it's easy to fix.

    3) The suggestion that perhaps there was already a girl sitting with your friend who scared off any other dancers from approaching is completely legitimate, especially if both of you are talking to one girl. If you look like you are possibly already busy, you won't be approached as much. That's just simple dancer etiquette. Again, keeping some personal space around yourself in this situation is the best way of indicating that you're free for company.

    4) Are you sitting in an area of the bar that appears to be occupied by unoccupied dancers, guys they're talking to who don't really do dances/give tips but seem to get a lot of attention? You might have unknowingly sat in the part of the room that is unofficially reserved for the boss' friends/"non-paying regulars"/husbands, boyfriends, and fiancees waiting for their girls to finish their shift/etc. In my experience, there's usually a section of the room that seems to be an unofficial "no money here" zone. Keep an eye out on what's going on around you, and move your seat if you seem to be in part of the room where actual business isn't taking place or it seems like the rules are different.

    I'm sure you don't smell.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #28
    Veteran Member infra-red's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    KCMO
    Posts
    234
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    Why, why, why don't customers approach dancers instead of pouting and waiting for them eyes cast down like they're at a junior high dance?
    Because we don't want the bouncers to throw us out!
    Devilution Imaging!

    "Sexy...sexy as hell"

  4. #29
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    123 Tornado Alley Way, Hooterville USA
    Posts
    6,322
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 36 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot
    well, sure, the club is a place where guys will be approached by beautiful women who wouldnt do so anywhere else... but it is also a place where guys can approach without the rejection rate they are used to, so I say to any guy who is complaining about being left alone: just take a little initiative.
    Rejection can leave serious psychological scars on some people (dancers are often scared to approach customers for the same reason), so getting oneself to realize that is the harder part of the battle. It took me awhile to figure it out too.

    I'll admit though, once you've seen the benefits of being the picker instead of waiting to be picked, you'll never go back, even though it was something I figured out due to it being neccesary to get the ball rolling in most clubs. Needless to say, I still prefer to sit on my can and have the dancer approach me.

    Another thing that needs to be stated here though is that the SC is a world filled with bizarre customs of etiquette that are going to seem bewildering to a newb, so I think its a bit unfair for us veterans to be so castigating. If there weren't lonely socially maladjusted men in the world, business in SC's would be a shadow of what it is, and stripping is moving more in the direction of "exotic hostessing" all the time.

    I think its just silly for us to ask rookies to figure out on their own that stuff seemingly insignificant as...

    1. coming with a buddy
    2. sitting at a "bad table"
    3. coming on the wrong night
    4. ordering a non-alcoholic drink
    5. their race or ethnicity

    ...could be the reason why they're not getting attention.

    Having all these bizarre customs in the club isn't exactly the best way to get new folks hooked on the biz either. In other, more mainstream hospitality businesses these excuses for not giving service would be considered inexcusable. Perhaps one more reason why things are in a state of decline right now.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  5. #30
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    32
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    You know there is alot of good points of view. Honestly, I've dealt with alot of rejection in my short time which most likely is the cause of my shyness ( which is not nearly as bad as it once was). And bc of my shyness I get tired of approaching women all the time. if I wanted to do that I'd go to a regular bar/club. I know it an escape.

    It not a race thing since I'm a all American boy and I do not smell .
    But flash my money since it makes up for lack of confidence? really? I've made more than my fair share as a Trader and as worked my up. I've got my toys etc. Then I should be the one of the most confident people around. People seem to think I am. It's all an act and it gets tired after 9 hrs. I'm not going to wear the Brooks Brothers suit I wore all day to ANY Bar/club. Jeans or khaikis.


    granted I do not know all "customs ".

  6. #31
    Member GiselleQ's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    46
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: why ignored

    Yeah, but people judge you by what you appear to be. Few know what you really are. And in a SC, who gives a damn. I would willingly fall down at the feet of a guy wearing a good suit and takes out a Louis Vuitton wallet than some guy in a sweat shirt and jeans.

    Yeah, with a denim wallet, to boot.

  7. #32
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    *throws out his velcro wallet*

    My windbreaker pants don't make too much noise when I walk do they? I have to walk a certain way or else the material rubs against my goods in the wrong way since I don't wear underware...but the Fatty Upper Penile Area <a.k.a. FUPA> covers the crucial parts.

    In context, I agree. I have found that the problems inherently found on this site as well as in real life fall under one major misconception. That strip clubs are different than bars. Like when 'Strippers are different than women'

    Being a emotionally driven being, I will state that the following analasys applies to myself personally.

    My involvement in my strip club activities yielded greater results when I threw away the thought that a strip club was different than a bar. Simple as that.

    If you treat a SC like you would going to a bar, you can't go wrong. Just expect to spend more money.

    The only thing I would please ask you to do, to thusly cut down on the drama a SC hobbiest could develope is simply leave everything at the door when you leave. Thats what makes these places so damn great.

    Mast!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  8. #33
    Veteran Member girlnew156's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    262
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    "............ simply leave everything at the door................"

    Yeah, go in stark naked.

  9. #34
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    I've seen your avatar...... and remember, I don't LIKE rejection...and if you saw me naked I couldn't just chaulk it up to bad taste
    Last edited by Mastridonicus; 01-08-2006 at 06:19 PM. Reason: wupz
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  10. #35
    Featured Member CalifSCVisitor65's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2004
    Location
    San Francisco
    Posts
    1,398
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked 14 Times in 14 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    Quote Originally Posted by GiselleQ
    down at the feet of a guy wearing a good suit and takes out a Louis Vuitton wallet .
    Oh there goes my problem, my wallet is a Prada and there's no visible logos or I keep my money in my pocket and not in the wallet sometimes.

  11. #36
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2002
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    782
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus

    ...Some of us didn't get asked to the dance at junior high. Some of us weren't wanted to go to our proms, some of us were so used to rejection wether it be at home from our parents, our mirrors, our jobs, to the girl that we have had our eyes on for months who's fawning over the football quarterback that sometimes we want to NOT be rejected, and we're willing to pay for it.



    I'm not saying we're all pathetic losers <just me >, but for some of us, going to the club and getting ignored there is only showing us that we can't even PAY to get out of the hopless rejection we deal with on a daily basis...


    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish
    Rejection can leave serious psychological scars on some people (dancers are often scared to approach customers for the same reason), so getting oneself to realize that is the harder part of the battle. It took me awhile to figure it out too.



    I'll admit though, once you've seen the benefits of being the picker instead of waiting to be picked, you'll never go back, even though it was something I figured out due to it being neccesary to get the ball rolling in most clubs. Needless to say, I still prefer to sit on my can and have the dancer approach me....


    For all our bravado and confidence ITC, there are also many strippers who have been through this same experience - never asked to the dance, never asked on a date, stood up when they *were* asked, etc... The romantic / sexual castigation, usually based upon appearance or social ineptitude, can leave a nasty impact.



    When those of us who have experienced this become strippers, suddenly we are in a position where not only are we no longer castigated, but the men (and ladies) are now approaching us in numbers that allow us to pick and choose. And Doc Catfish is right about how once you become the "picker", you have no desire to back to being the one waiting to be picked. We're not crazy about risking rejection by approaching a random customer, as opposed to simply picking and choosing the ones who have approached us.



    Unfortunately, these issues, when presented by both sides of the customer / dancer relationship, are going to cause problems - i.e., such dancers and customers are less likely to cross paths in a highly enjoyable manner.



    It's a difficult thing to overcome - it took me a long time to develop the nerve to approach random customers, even to give them a simple hello and a smile.



    ~~McCain

  12. #37
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Posts
    5,493
    Thanks
    120
    Thanked 50 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    Quote Originally Posted by girlnew156
    "............ simply leave everything at the door................"

    Yeah, go in stark naked.
    Heh heh. I've seen customers start to strip. They got escorted out real quickly.

  13. #38
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    109
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: why ignored

    If I see money on the table, some men will have a stack of ones or fives
    for tipping in front of them, that should be a magnet to get the ladys
    to approach you.

  14. #39
    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    956
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 10 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    Quote Originally Posted by [I
    fearless].
    But flash my money since it makes up for lack of confidence? really?I'm not going to wear the Brooks Brothers suit I wore all day to ANY Bar/club. [/I]
    Don't worry about flashing $$ or dressing to impress. As a stripper I learned a long time ago NEVER judge a book by it's cover...IMO if you're flaunting it you probably don't have it. Just be nice and a little more assertive with the girls. Don't be afraid to let them know you're ready for a dance.

  15. #40
    Member BackseatBoohoo's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    26
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    I get ignored because I'm a chick. To be more precise, a girl who goes to strip clubs with guys and therefore looks like a chaperone and/or girlfriend. XD


    Like God, but cuter.

  16. #41
    Member spiderman05's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: why ignored

    We go to SCs to have fun, it is not a fashion show. Yeah, girls tend to approach guys wearing suits. Also, guys wearing suits stand out in the my regular SC. Most guys dress casually there. Hygiene is very important. Bad smells repell everbody in your vicinity, dancers and customers likewise. Why do dancers avoid ethnics? Is it because they are rude, or bc they don't have money? The crowd of customers where I go is quite mixed up and I find that rather a positive thing: all races united around stripping.

  17. #42
    Veteran Member jannisary's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Eastside - St.Louis
    Posts
    560
    Thanks
    25
    Thanked 117 Times in 68 Posts
    My Mood
    Mellow

    Default Re: why ignored

    I've been ignored in the clubs before. I think its because that unless I make an effort I can really be a sort of passive guy. Basically just sitting there like a bump on a log isn't usually going to get me the attention I want. Now if I make a little bit of an effort like smiling, saying "hi", making eye contact, and complimenting the dancer as I tip her; things just seem to happen.

Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •