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Thread: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

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    Default Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Probably the most common ones are that many if not most exotic dancers:

    Have low self-esteem
    Have a history of being abused
    Hate men (there's already a thread about that one)
    Are lesbians (I heard that one on a Christian radio talk show once)
    Have problems with addictions

    My question: in your experience, how much truth is there (if any) to these stereotypes, and any others that you know of?

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    There is some still thats why they are still around.
    LOL @ the lesbian thing. Ive only met one lesbian dancer who admitted it to me...I have no idea if it is true or not.

    Oh god there so many...but Id rather not perpetuate them and not add to your list. Im curious, why do you ask?
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    Senior Member regan143's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Ha ha I'll admit it im fucked up in the head.

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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    One stereotype people have about exotic dancers is that they are all beautiful.

    I would have to say that this one is mostly true.

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    Oh god there so many...but Id rather not perpetuate them and not add to your list. Im curious, why do you ask?
    I knew a dancer who was, and is still the most incredible fascinating woman I've ever met in my life. And she had a lot of abuse in her life and it just turns my stomach that anyone could hurt such a sweet lovable lady as her. This naturally caused her to be pretty sour on men in general, which is another one. Low self-esteem, yeah I think so. She was never an addict as far as I know.

    So I'm like wow, such a shame she's had a life like that, then I start hearing that stories like hers are the rule among exotic dancers, more than the exception. For example I used to work with a guy who moonlighted as a DJ in the clubs and he said that the majority of dancers have a lot of "issues". I guess I just wanted some responses from ladies on what you've observed in your years dancing.

    Everyone has issues of course, but because I've met such sweet ladies at the clubs, I feel bad if odds are they are pretty unhappy in life. The ladies I've met deserve a lot better.

    PS: the lesbian one I just stuck in there for a laugh because it was so ridiculous when I heard that religious talk show host say it

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    CQ,

    most reliable studies show that about 1/3 of all American women have been sexually abused before the age of 18. (Sociology/Psychology/Criminal Justice/Women's Studies majors help me out here...is this correct?)

    In my experience (10+ years in the industry), a fair percentage of dancers have histories of sexual abuse...but then so do a fair percentage of women in any other profession. I admit I was a little shocked when, having left the world of dancing, I discovered just how prevalent it was among women in the general population (i.e. non-dancers: college students, professional women, artists, biologists, etc etc...)

    I think women who work as dancers may be more likely to talk about it, though...

    I also think it's not entirely unheard-of that women who work as dancers, knowing the stereotype, will claim to have been abused, or imply that they were abused, in order to fulfill expectations or "play the role" or play on customer sympathies...Though I hasten to add that the vast majority of such stories are undoubtedly true. As I say, sexual abuse is egregiously prevalent in our society.

    I don't know of any reliable studies that have found that women who work as strippers report child sexual abuse at a higher rate than women in the general population...but then, I've never sought out such a study.

    About the lesbian thing: I'm pretty sure the Christians were misinterpreting the "girl-girl" shows by which they were undoubtedly traumatized when they followed God's instructions to go witness to the poor little lost lambs down at the local club...
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    "Evangelists in a Strip Club"

    What an awesome book title!

    Not to mention I laughed my ass off when two custies showed up to a dive handing out 'Watch Tower' books.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Lesbian strippers? Ha! Yeah we hate men, but we hate women even more due to drama.

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    None of it applies to me.

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot
    One stereotype people have about exotic dancers is that they are all beautiful.

    I would have to say that this one is mostly true.
    That's definately not true. There are plenty of unattractive strippers. But if one stays in the industry long enough, they learn how to hone their best assets, dress to play up their strong points, and/or carve out the ugly with a surgeon's knife.

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainQuantum
    Probably the most common ones are that many if not most exotic dancers:

    Have low self-esteem
    Have a history of being abused
    Hate men (there's already a thread about that one)
    Are lesbians (I heard that one on a Christian radio talk show once)
    Have problems with addictions

    My question: in your experience, how much truth is there (if any) to these stereotypes, and any others that you know of?
    1. Have low self esteem? Personally, I would estimate a 50/50 split on this.
    2. Have a history of being abused? This needs clarification - sexual abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, etc? As a child? As a teen? As an adult? After entry to the sex industry?
    3. Hate men? Most chicks I've known in the industry do not hate men, but they may have a rather specific distrust or generally jaded view regarding males.
    4. Are lesbians? Yeah, there's probably a disproportionate number of lesbians in stripping than there are in other fields, but I would not say the majority. I'd say the majority are either straight, or bisexual since it's an industry that lends itself to an appreciation of feminine sexuality and form.
    5. Have problems with addiction? I don't believe it is so much of having an inherent problem with addictions, as it is that stripping is a field that offers far greater exposure and access to illicit drugs than most other industries. In fact, the first time I ever saw a "real live" rail of coke was when the DJ at my first club cut one on a CD in his booth while I was selecting a set. Naturally, if you have a higher level of exposure, you'll have a higher number of people who partake, and - consequently - a higher incidence of addiction.

    ~~McCain

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Where I work, the stereotypes tend to be true, or most of them. Fortunately, I can see this for what it is--the result of the kind of club it has been (and is thankfully getting away from!), and the town it is located in.

    A good half of the women I work with, if not more, are in abusive relationships. I have seen them come hobbling in with bruised legs, ribs, eyes, etc., way more than i care to think about. I still want to kick the shit out of one guy, who did the rib. Tonight I stopped in for a bit and she told me he had locked her in her own bathroom and forced her to watch another girl blow him.

    The majority of the women I work with have low self-esteem, though they sometimes fool themselves and others about this. Attitude is no substitute for true confidence.

    Most of them are very jaded indeed about the guys, even if they don't always hate them. This is from having to deal with the rudeness they contend with on a nightly basis, quite often from physically repulsive men.

    More than half of them have serious drug problems, and again this is in my club, in this town.

    The lesbian thing is not so common. Out and out lesbians are rare, but actively bisexual women are quite common in the clubs I have worked in. Many straight women will put on a show because it makes them money, though.

    But all you have to do is read the posts from the women on this forum to see more than adequate evidence that stereotypes are just that, and no basis for judgement upon any or all industry staff (or customers, either, for that matter).
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    Senior Member contheboyalready's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Crazy and manipulative: True, but it pays the rent.

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser
    Where I work, the stereotypes tend to be true, or most of them. Fortunately, I can see this for what it is--the result of the kind of club it has been (and is thankfully getting away from!), and the town it is located in.

    A good half of the women I work with, if not more, are in abusive relationships. I have seen them come hobbling in with bruised legs, ribs, eyes, etc., way more than i care to think about. I still want to kick the shit out of one guy, who did the rib. Tonight I stopped in for a bit and she told me he had locked her in her own bathroom and forced her to watch another girl blow him.


    Just wanted to tall ya norm this chick is a skitso crack head and has a different story every week Oh yeah is she still pregnant with those twins that she SOOOOO convientntly mis carried the night before new years eve and still came to work??

    as for abusive relation ships the girl you were talking about who takes the ruler on stage with her was talking about he husband busting her 10 mo old daughters lip open are you kidding me and she is still with him and leaves the baby with him while shes at work ahhhhhhhhh says she hears him spanking the baby and cant do anything cause he will hurt her too fuck that kill me before you will hurt one of my children.
    oh yeah i found my phone by the way lol

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Unfortunately a lot of dancer stereotypes are formed very early on in a customer's SC experience and never seem to change. How strongly the stereotypes are reinforced can have a lot to do with the kind of dancer you seek out. Yes, there are druggies, screw-ups and party girls in the clubs but there are also women in college or women trying to support families who take the job and the revenue very seriously. In my experience it's very easy to separate these groups- a minute or two of conversation is often all it takes-and find the kind of dancer you want to spend time and money on.

    As far as the abuse thing goes I never ask the question and I honestly wonder how many dancers are volunteering this sort of info when it's not solicited. In over twenty years of clubbing I've had one dancer tell me that she was abused by an uncle when she was a child. I'm not foolish enough to think that she was the only dancer ever to be abused out of the hundreds that I've known over the years but I’m not inclined to make assumptions about the actual numbers either. This may go back to the type of dancer I prefer to spend time with but one admission out of hundreds of ladies makes me wonder where this stereotype really comes from. Probably the same place that most stereotypes come from; the need for society to categorize people into neat little boxes so they don't have to think to hard or actually treat each other as individuals.
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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Dammit, Extacy--I can't handle hearing too much like that--if I see the guy that beats the kid I'll want to beat him.

    Sorry, getting back on topic--well, the stereotypes do exist--as they obviously do in my club. It's the one who uses the stereotype to judge all others that loses out, though.

    Speaking of stereotypes--don't think for a minute that I would ever assert that stripclub DJs are the coolest kind of guy around, HA!

    The vast majority that I've known have been either assholes, idiots--or both at once (and don't even get me started on the managers). But again this is my experience only, and obviously not the case here on SW.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    What about the one where they'd consider "dating" everyone they work with instead of any of their customers, ever?


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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Anybody see the last episode of NUMB3RS, with the gambling? The main characters visited a strip club to talk to a witness, who was portrayed as an arrogant, gold-digging valley girl who didn't care when her customers died.. SIGH.

    Oh yeah, and one girl scooped up the money on stage and dramatically poured it over herself. I got a pretty good lol out of that.

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    badpixie....i did see that last night, and also laughed at it....very unreal portrayal of stage dancing i also agree that they "stereotyped" the stripper. and the way the FBI agents discussed the club audience....typical of hollywood

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    Veteran Member badpixie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Yeah, the line about how the "dads" should have been in Disneyland with their families.. sounds like a writer was trying to get laid.

    Re: the dollar shower girl - it seemed, with the whole theme of the show being about gambling, card counting, and money laundering, that they were trying to make some kind of point that people making THAT much money must be doing something wrong, as though wealth = crime.

    You bring up the interesting point that the media tends to crap on strip club customers as well. They tend to be shown as stalkers, murderers, cheaters, or pathetic panting blubber balls. You have to wonder if that kind of treatment makes some men feel ashamed and bitter.. you know, the ones who call strippers "whores", "gold diggers", etc, while still enjoying the clubs.

    I don't think I noticed the cops tipping, either. Even though they sat and watched.
    Last edited by badpixie; 01-14-2006 at 09:39 PM.

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    I suggest you think about stereotypes before you start using that to make decisions about people.

    Stereotypes are negative / hateful thoughts about a group of people so you can stop thinking about them as individuals.

    Switch your stereotypes around.

    Are there women who are not dancers who have low self-esteem?

    Are there women who are not dancers who have been abused?

    Are there women who are not dancers who hate men?

    Are there women who are not dancers who are lesbians?

    Are there women who are not dancers who have addiction issues?

    Since not all dancers have the issues you listed what do you get by assuming that some may have one of these issues.

    Stereotypes are just sloppy thinking. View everyone as an individual and spent time finding out who they are.

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    I'm a addiction free, man lovin', flaming hetrosexual entertainer who's never had to hear the phrase, "show me on the doll where he touched you" and I'm 99% sure I'm awesome. That being said, I've seen quite a few girls with drug problems and many with esteem issues. However, you'll find tons of people with substance abuse problems in the bar biz and most women in general don't think very highly of themselves especially physically.

    The only stripper cliche that I see ALL the time is the bum boyfriend and the poor money management.

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    I've been told a few times I'm a lesbian or frigid just because I won't have sex with a guy.

    No, jackass... I'm not a lesbian, I'm just NOT attracted to YOU!

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by Watermelon
    I've been told a few times I'm a lesbian or frigid just because I won't have sex with a guy.

    No, jackass... I'm not a lesbian, I'm just NOT attracted to YOU!
    Oh no she didn't!!

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    Default Re: Stereotypes about exotic dancers

    Quote Originally Posted by dlabtot
    One stereotype people have about exotic dancers is that they are all beautiful.

    I would have to say that this one is mostly true.
    it's the magic of the dim nightclub lights. i hate it when i meet a cute guy in a nightclub, and then when we go into the lobby, he looks like he smokes 10 packs a day, so i then have to ditch him.

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