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Thread: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

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    Default Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    At the same mb where I encountered the unscientific poll on IQ scores, there is another poll, equally unscientific, answered by many more of us there-over 500 people responded. In this case, it was each person's results from the Myers-Briggs personality test.

    To make a long story short, 6.1% of the people who replied there are extroverted, with the remainder of us being introverted-not unexpected, given the nature of the mb. Due to this, most of us there don't perceive ourselves as "fitting in" all that well with "mainstream" society (and I don't quite know how "mainstream" society should be defined here). To give an anecdotal example, someone started a thread there about how an interviewer turned him down for a job because he wasn't at all an extrovert. He was applying for a job as a tech writer! I don't have the slightest idea why you'd have to be extroverted to qualify for such a job.

    On SW, from a number of threads I've read in the past, the work is viewed as questionable or taboo as perceived by said "mainstream" society - whether it's a guy working as a dj, or a woman working as a dancer.

    Over on the other mb, many people there feel like outcasts, outsiders or sometimes even outlaws, due to one reason or another. Do any people here feel the same way, or perhaps a combination of outcast, outsider and/or outlaw? The reasons might be different, or similar. Just something I've become curious about due to reading a number of different message boards.

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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I'm naturally a real introvert but I made a concious decision to be more extroverted. Being a stripper really helped me bloom and now I'm much more comfortable and confident. I'm still better one on one with people but I've learned alot of people skills by dancing; skills that I find useful in other areas of my life. Before, I was so shy around guys and way too submissive. It wasn't long until I learned that I had to be assertive or get taken advantaged of.

    Being in this industry does make me feel like an outcast only when people ask the dreaded "what do you do?" especially when I'm crossing the border. Otherwise, I feel more extroverted and feel as though I fit in more as a direct result of this job.

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    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I've observed it seems "cooler" to be an "outcast" than....what's the alternatives? A "sheep"..."follower"..."ordinary"..."plain"......T here was an evolution in American society where alienation went from being abnormal to acceptable.

    Some of the "outcast" are truly abhorrent. I've met them. Some ordinary people are very multilayered, but centered enough not to get hung up on themselves.

    My answer is that it might be a term of conceit to call one's self "outcast." Until you've been shunted off to the wilderness and left to die like the madmen of Biblical times, you're not really "outcast."

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    ^heehee. I love that post.

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    My answer is that it might be a term of conceit to call one's self "outcast." Until you've been shunted off to the wilderness and left to die like the madmen of Biblical times, you're not really "outcast."
    I tend to concur.

    Those trying so friggin' hard to avoid conformity suffer from the very malaise they so thoroughly vilify by creating rigid behavior codes within their own respective subculture, so as to keep out those within the oft-maligned mainstream.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    "If you wanna be one of the non-conformists, all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music we do."

    From one of the goths in the South Park episode, "Rasins"
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    OK, but still, I feel uncomfortably outside the mainstream at times, thanks to stripping. Especially because I socialize with many people outside the stripping profession. It's really only uncomfortable when someone asks what I do for a living. And it's amazing how many random people ask this during day to day conversation (the librarian, a store salesperson, the lady at the post office, my friends' relatives, etc.) But other than my job I lead a very plain vanilla lifestyle and I like it that way. I see myself as a regular good samiritan and don't revel in my "outcast" status. Some people like to see themselves as living on the fringes of society, as artists or rebels or whatever they fancy themselves as. I'm just a practical girl trying to make the most money I can in a limited amount of time without getting caught up in unnecessary drama. And I do very much want to fit in and be seen as a valuable member of society. So i do regret my "outcast" status, so to speak. But I knew this going in to the profession, and found it so be worth the price so far. Maybe someday I will even become used to saying "I'm a stripper" to a new acquaintance without batting an eyelash.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I have felt like an "outcast" the majority of my life. I grew up in a small southern town. My mother was mentally ill and my father was a typical working, southern man. As an only child, I had to draw my own sense of reality. In middle and high school I ate lunch at the table alone. I didn't understand others nor did they understand me which is still somewhat true. But your universe expands as you grow older. I occassionally try to fit in with the majority of society but find myself feeling out of character when trying. I strongly dislike the majority of society. I feel like I was born on the wrong planet or era. I often feel as though I would like to have lived in the Victorian era or been a teen in the 70's. I try to be grateful for where I am though because I would probably be locked in a room or homeless if I lived in one of those eras.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    Like it or not--and regardless of whether or not you might take inordinate pride in the fact--if you work in a stripclub, or publicly admit you go to them frequently, you are regarded as an outcast by a sizeable segment of the population. So you might as well learn to like it, and maybe even be proud of who you are, god forbid.

    Being a smart, short, skinny little guy from Detroit, and going to junior high and high school in a very close-minded area of Maine, I was an outcast whether or not I chose to be. In time I grew proud of it, and I have no hesitation in admitting that.

    Then, having grown considerably taller and stronger, I went to a college where being a nerd was the norm--so I didn't exactly fit in there either, though I had a hell of a lot of fun in spite of it.

    Now, compared to a typical suburban asshole with his four bedroom house on a treeless lot in a cookie cutter subdivision, I'm sure as shit not normal. And compared to the people I went to college with, who have become (almost universally) 'movers and shakers', I'm not exactly conformist--but I wouldn't trade places with any of them.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I relate to most people by revealing only a thin slice of who I am... so if I am at a party with a bunch of academics I discuss art, ideas, und so weiter, if I am hanging with my friends we are talking about the snow or the flow or music or life, or I will be with the politcal folks talking about that stuff...with a few I can talk about the club scene.... it is rare that I find someone who can relate to all that... does that make me an outcast or just an individual?

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I would say an individual--an outcast is someone who is rejected or vilified by the majority of other people around them, whether or not they choose to embrace the situation.

    And getting back to the veracity of one's 'outcast' status, it is quite amusing to see how conformist some clubs or gangs can be--such as having to wear the exact same clothing or bandanas or colors, or whatever. It's a fucking uniform...
    Last edited by Djoser; 01-17-2006 at 02:42 AM. Reason: "embrave"?? time for some sleep, I think--it was a rough night, lol
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    dlabot, sounds like we are similar. I have adapted over time to where I can talk to different types of people and still seem to fit in with most of them. Not that I necessarily want to fit in with them, but it does help in this world to have contacts.
    !

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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I've always figured myself to be sort of a fence-rider. Never really fit in with either the cool kids or the burnouts, but I can get along with just about anybody.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Pamela
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    Well then i may be an outcast due to the way people are so friggin mainstream.

    But, i am an extreme EXTROVERT!!!!!

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    Veteran Member infra-red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I don't fit in anywhere I go, mainly because I'm a Republican! AND, I don't mind telling someone to "Fuck off!" if they piss me off. I don't do the "PC" thing....at all. In High School I was a "Frock", a freak and a jock. The day after graduating high school, I set a goal for my future...to be THE best glamour photographer I could be. No one else understood my drive for this, so, I left all but 1 or 2 of my very best high school friends behind. I bought an outstanding camera and set out to conquer the world! In the '80s, I REALLY didn't fit in, I didn't IZOD!LOL! I wore whatever I wanted to...still do. NOW, I have my own business, my own photography studio bulit into my house, a nice car, a VERY understanding woman and a really good dog! Fitting in really isn't important to me anymore...its a good scource of humour when I see how much I DON'T fit in where ever I might be. Hey, life is good!
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    Veteran Member MsTopaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    i feel like an 'outcast' 100% of the time (for various reasons). but that's not a bad thing until you get 'mainstreamers' or mundains in your face disrespecting you...demonizing you...and condmening you to hell...

    but then again that might be the fun part. then they are 'forced' (for lack of a better word) to face their bigotry or prejudice (sp).

    i'm comfortable in my skin...and that's all that matters. any one having a problem with that already know what they can do for me .

    why do some people still have to fight to get the same opportunities that are given to others?

    reclusiveness...is a good thing.

    the greatest revenge in the world...is success.


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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1
    ...As an only child, I had to draw my own sense of reality...
    I'm also an only child. But I don't know if there is any correlation between being an only child and also being either introverted and/or being, to some degree, a loner. I would guess one or more research studies already have tried to answer this question.

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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    Well, see, my mother was schizophrenic. She frequently had hallucinations. No one else was around to tell me different. So, that's what I meant when I said I had to form my own sense of reality.

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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I'm an outcast. Always been, propably always will be. Greenidlady, I feel you when you talk about drawing your own reality as child... I still do that. It sounds quite scary but sometimes I really feel like I'm still in that world in a way and ignoring the one I'm bound to live. Overall I think if one pick this profession and is in full power of body and mind (WHATEVER that means!!) aka not suffering drug addiction or other "forcing" reason one usually is "a loner".

    Or hell, how should I know. I dont know that many dancers...

    And yes I think often it is hard, being and being willing to be, an outcast. You're playing your own game "undependent" of the usual norms and morals that work as a safety net for "regular" people.
    Often I feel like I'm constantly taking on step further... oh, curiosity killed the cat, I know...

    But over all, Being an outcast, not being able to freely talk about what I do, or even expect anyone to understand it here where I live I still feel like rather than to predent to benefit my employer in a sweaty office moving papers from one place to other all day all week long I'm much more comfortable and morally better off pretending to like the office boss for ten minutes during the night... at least I get to decide to whom to kneel, how, and for how long.

    But yeah... to think of it, that does sound very outcastish...
    In Lust We Trust

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    Veteran Member Docido's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    Our country was always romanticized loners, rebels, and outlaws. It’s part of our pioneer heritage. I think it’s why advertisers market products and fashions appealing to our desire to be unique. No one wants to think of themselves as part of the herd. It’s ironic, however, when you declare your self-proclaimed rebel status by buying the exact same product as everyone else in your clique or sub-culture.

    And I agree the true outcastes are locked in asylums, jails, hospitals, or living under the closest highway underpass.

    Do I feel like an outsider? Sure… I hang out in stripclubs.
    Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language. Henry James

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    Over the years I have felt mostly very different from many others, and it has been hard to find a good friend. Now that I've mellowed out and are less "in type" (M-B, one of the 1.5%'ers), I have found it easier to mix socially and find friends in places I never could. It is good to consider that more personality types than your own natural one are necessary to make up the world out there. Tolerance of differences helps a lot, especially knowing they won't change theirs any more than you are willing (or able) to change yours. And why should you? Just be more tolerant of different types of people who don't lie to and cheat and can tolerate you. You might even find that relationship helps you to bed more flexible in your own world dealings.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  22. #22
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I don't feel like an outcast although I am definatly different in many ways to most other people. You name it and I will probably view things differently or do them differently (not intentionally). I have always been the black sheep / the square peg in a round hole, so to speak. The key is I supose that people like and appreciate me for being who I am and also that I simple don't care what anyone else thinks about what I say or what I do. There is always some common ground anyway (-:

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    I'm an outsider with an outcast mentality and an outlaw view on life.
    But it's better to be an outsider than a soc I say



    Bob Shelton: You guys know what greasers are? White trash with long, greasy hair.
    Ponyboy: You know what a soc is?
    Bob Shelton: What?
    Ponyboy: White trash with mustangs and madras.
    [spits at Bob]

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    Neurotics always feel outcast because they do not want people to know what they are feeling, thinking, etc. Feeling outcast is not just from being a certain psych type. Read a little R D Laing to see what I'm talking about.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever feel like an outcast, outsider, or outlaw in "mainstream" society?

    If you don't feel like an outsider now, try standing in front of a jury sometime !

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