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Thread: Dominatrix/Domina

  1. #1
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Arrow Dominatrix/Domina

    I did a search and nothing much has come up hence the reason for my post.



    So... can anyone point me in the right direction (on the 'net) for information about maybe becoming a Dominatrix/Domina ? I would like to have a look see into this realm to see if I have what it takes to be a Dominatrix/Domina or if I would be more suited to being a professional slave ("slave for hire") or if I am a 'switch' (can be either)...

    I just want to satisfy my curiousity so I can maybe look into training or what-not to become a professional later in my life (not this year.. maybe next year??)... I know I have it in me as I've always liked the whole "master/slave" thing (that would explain my facination with Slave Leia ).




    Thanks in advance


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  2. #2
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    There are lot's of books out there about D/s... (Forget the Rose, Give me the Thorns, etc.) But basically you need to get involved in your own local BDSM community, get invited to play parties, get good enough that people really really want to play with you... then go pro.



  3. #3
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    Reading is fundamental, but not when it comes to doing things that can physically harm someone else. Go to sites like bondage.com or on IRC to chat rooms like #bondage, #BDSM, etc, and talk to people. find folks in your area. train under either a seasoned pro or a lifestyler who has actually been a top to someone. I suggest training with someone who has at LEAST 5 years experience.
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  4. #4
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    Quote Originally Posted by PaigeDWinter
    Reading is fundamental, but not when it comes to doing things that can physically harm someone else. Go to sites like bondage.com or on IRC to chat rooms like #bondage, #BDSM, etc, and talk to people. find folks in your area. train under either a seasoned pro or a lifestyler who has actually been a top to someone. I suggest training with someone who has at LEAST 5 years experience.
    I was thinking that I would prefer to learn 'under' someone (as such) so that we could work out if I am a Dom, sub or switch. My only question is thus.. how can I check that the person who I want to train under really does have 5 years as a professional ?

    My best learning style is 'hands on' compared to reading books.

    Yes, I do realise that this is something that doesn't happen over night. I figured I would do 2-3 years of training (one year if I could really 'afford' to invest the time to learn) before I would then even consider going professional (FT, PT or 'on the side') or just keeping it as a 'kink'.

    Keep any information coming


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  5. #5
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    Finding out about someone's background only requires asking about them. If you're in a public forum or chat, ask those who talk to them or know them. If they're public about what they do, ask them for references. Anyone worth their salt will be fine with providing references. Most pros have websites or have been reviewed on other sites/forums. Lifestylers can be best referenced by asking people they know or associate with. Former play partners, friends in the scene, etc.

    Honestly though? The best way to see if they know their stuff is to watch them in action. Easier said than done, but if they're public about themselves, not impossible to do.
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
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    Marasmus ... "Ladies don't fart. They butt-laugh."
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    Marek says, "A friend of mine got punched in the face by a dominatrix stripper about two weeks ago and I thought of you."

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    This is one of the links I found here or something thing
    ...Ive been reading it for awhile now and has great information on it and alot of it too!
    http://bondage.com/bdsm/bdsmu/overview.html
    you live like an ivy vine
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  7. #7
    Member panaceadisease's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    I have a good friend of mine who is a dominatrix. Ever so informative. Definatly get involved with the local scene, get to know the people who do it. Nothing beats hands on instruction. The only real diffrence between recreational and professionsl bdsm, is finaces. What to charge and how to handle the money, and were the money goes and how to advertise yourself.

  8. #8
    Pamela
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    Websites websites websites put up by a PRO. Not a company with just any women/men. These people are very nice (Pro. Doms)! They will (most) email you back with info about what they do, and perhaps what you may be better at after you get the talking wiht them....i did this years ago when i met a Dominatrix via internet, and started talking on the phone.

    I am now adjusting to a "slave" in the UK...so this is tough. There is not much to do but have him send me letters, pictures with my name written on him, or other words i chose, a phone call twice a year is do-able, and he already sent $50. I wanted a neckalce.....started LOW....

    I know this does not sound like much....but he wants to be a slave from a distance. He has no "real" work with a woman....he is kinda shy. But he listens.

    Again....He will be short lived. I talked to a Pro Dom a few days ago...she said many slaves have to be let go, as they don't listen....that is not a slave that is a Fuck off.

    Also keep in mind MANY slaves (in person) visit more then one Dom. Unles he lives with you...he has more. Always. The one lie you never know of...you will find out.

    I have 3 running right now. The other 2 from the lines i work....money slaves!! I lost the guy on suggardaddy.....he did pay, and damn good! But got not near what he wanted in return. Again, not a slave...he just got used.

    They are easy to find too! Any "open" adult site that allows chat will help you find a slave...however i can't stand a wanna be slave....young boy (21 or a tad older of course) They have NO money, play games.

    It's a trade off. A little from me, alot from them. But hey that's me! And it works.

    Yes is a great site starter site!!!!

    Pamela

  9. #9
    Newbie bambootoy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    Many women think that domination is about 'scenes'. It's actually all about tease, power, and attitude. Some ladies take charge;others ASK if they can take charge... Guess which kind make more money, and get it all their way. Also, if 'who's the boss' is at the root of domination/submission (and it is) a woman must find the 'hot buttons' fast. Fortunately, if she's in the dominant role, that's easy: she just charges in with the energy of a detective, asking questions and not letting go until she gets straight answers. When she has made it perfectly clear that she's in control, it's all a lot like running a puppy through obedience school: she has to know what she wants; he needs to want to please her. It's all so very easy, and all so very difficult for a woman whose heart in not totally immersed in the intensity of the contest...

  10. #10
    Member Susana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    Hi, ladies. Sorry that I`ve been far for a while, busy at my day-time-job.

    I do agree that becoming involved with the BDSM (real, not virtual) community is the best way to learn. And that it takes time. And you must practice some time before becoming a Pro. I also think that there are many types of BDSM lovers: some do like domination, others like pain, others like to serve... AND "sub" customers are not always "real subs": I mean, they some times want to pay for a scene at their convenience (you can read Lara Sterling's story). Be aware.

    AND if you think you should start as a sub, thats perfectly understandable and logical (not for everybody, but useful). In that case, you should be very careful about with whom you are to be trained. Think that submission is a kind of faith-giving, so think twice to whom you are giving it.

    That counts MORE THAN TRIPLE when speaking about being a pro-slave. You need to have more than some safety rules and precaucions. So, if that seems your way in a while, be sure of getting involved with a very professional and careful Pro-Dom studio, with good customer-screening procedures and people who will watch what is going on in some way. BDSM could be dangerous, and a abusive and/or defficiently trained (and paying) "dom" could be twice dangerous.

    I do remember a studio in Minn. where there was 7 proDoms and a 1 prosub... where no one "dom" customer was alowed to play if he had no substantial "sub" customer registry at the same studio (for a while, eh?). Look around.

    AND take care also when advertising: Pro BDSM does not include "sex".

    Take care and have fun,
    Lady Tamara :-)

  11. #11
    Member Susana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    PS: Society of Janus is the most reliable real-life source, as I see it.
    Good look!

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    Found another great website:
    http://fetishexchange.org/watersports1.shtml

    list of other information on the left hand side.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  13. #13
    Veteran Member Jo Weldon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    There's a spectacular amount of self-serving nonsense on the internet about what is and isn't authentic BDSM. I think for a beginner it's more important that it be safe than that it be some esoteric definition of what's "real."

    There are a lot of pro-dommes and clients on this message board:

    http://www.maxfisch.com

    I keep posting this link when the subject of professional BDSM comes up because it seems to me that the best people to ask about pro-domming are pro-dommes.

    As on any message board, there are some insincere people and some trolls there, but for the most part you get to read messages by people, both clients and providers, who are actually participating in professional BDSM sessions.

    As on any message board, also, some people are rude in the way they try to "school" newcomers. But you've probably already spent enough time on the internet to know that arrogant schoolers are usually the least helpful people in any internet community.
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  14. #14
    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dominatrix/Domina

    I explored professional domination a little bit a few years ago because I was really interested in trying it. I knew that I needed someone to guide me. I had gone out to a few play clubs and such but I really wanted to learn from a pro before I tried anything. I met a woman one night who was interested in taking me on as an apprentice. So she ended up giving me a tour of the dungeon she worked out of (which belonged to a more established and organized domme) and set up a professional photo shoot with a well knwon fetish photographer for me. In the end she was to flaky and disorganized, although I knew she had several years of experience from my research into the Chicago domination/BDSM scene.

    So I ended up calling all the dungeons/ houses of domination in the city. One called me back very quickly and asked my measurements and set up an interview. I got hired and ultimately it was a very good learning experience. My head mistress was very instructional and encouraged us to do as much research as possible on our down times during our shifts. I also had the benefit of learning from the other mistresses who worked there.

    Working in a house is probably the best way to get your foot in the door/learn the ropes. You don't have as much control over the sessions you do at first, but you have the peace of mind of knowing that your customers are screened and that you are definitely safe, as well as having the equipment they provide to do your scenes.

    Hwoever, not all cities have that option. I live near Detroit now and there are no houses to work for. I thought about contacting local domme's to see if they would be interested in me working for them, because I know I'm still not ready to do it on my own. But I knew whatever kind of work/training they would provide would probably be sporadic, hence I started stripping. I'm very good with those submissive/fetishist customers though now.

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