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Thread: to give your # out or not?

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    Default to give your # out or not?

    I have never given out my number or my email address... and I don't think I could ever meet with anyone outside of the club, but I was wondering what are the general rules and guidelines for this? It's pretty obvious that it's not supposed to happen but at the same time a lot of people do this with their regulars.

    I know of a friend who has a regular customer who bought her a nice outfit and invited her outside the club to buy her an expensive dinner and offer $1,000 for her time. She agreed and got gipped. He told her he would actually giver her $2,000 if she slept with him in his hotel room upstairs and if not then he would only give her $500... so she was upset and just took the $500.

    This week I met a customer with whom I had intense sexual chemistry with. He spent an insane amount of $ on me inside the club and over 2 hours with me. It was getting really frustrating. Anyhow, he kept pushing for my number and to meet him at least for a drink outside the club. I wouldn't give him my number and he started calling me a bitch, I got his number (which I threw away, although I had sexual chemistry with him what is going to come of it??... he's rich and successful and in his early forties, AND he was wearing a wedding band... I have a bf that I would never want to ruin things with, I'm barely legal, I'm a stripper as far as he's concerned, AND I don't trust him at all... so I threw it away immediately) but now the problem is I can't stop thinking about him... URG GRRRRRRR... basically he was proposing a tryst, sex and that's it for as long as it lasts... do you ever wish you could give up everything for one incredible night? But at the same time I could have been really hurt and I know it's not right so that's why I threw away the number immediately and didn't give him mine... GOD why can't all the customers be sexually undesirable?? With this job sometimes it's a blessing that I have such a caring bf but sometimes I wish I was single and a wanton slut with no inhibitions... . Okay, there is no point to this long winded post maybe, I just want people to explain keeping in touch with custys and be remind me I did the right thing and I could have ended up as a missing person. He was rough: just the way I like it ... but that's why I didn't trust him... so I did the right thing, right?? I could never allow sometimes to use me for just sex and that's it.

  2. #2
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Wow you're right, the sexy ones are one in a million When I waitressed at a SC my boss gave me some tips for not giving out my number. The one I had the most success with was this one: Oh, ya know what, I go to school (whether you do or not, don't say where) or have another job or live with parents, or whatever and I'm always working/gone/ or sleeping, and I don't have a cell. Hey why don't you give me your number that would be easier Either they give away, or they throw a fit and would have been an ass anyway. You could give out a fake number, but that always ends up biting me in the ass. Oh I also once gave out my internet line # when I had dial up, because it never rang anywhere lol.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    it's up to you. you can make extra money.. sort of.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    intense sexual chemistry !!!!!
    WHAT A NICE TERM!!!!

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    Veteran Member susie's Avatar
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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Get an email account, and say you don't give out your # but have an email addy, or your phones broke, whatever. Give them something, and they will be happy. They just want to push it a little.
    By the way, wise choice throwing the # away, if he was in your head that much from just a short meating, he could have done you serious psychological damage. Work on your self asteem, and you'll forget him real quick.
    Susie

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    Veteran Member Kharisma's Avatar
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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    I have an email address set up specifically for customers. In my experience men will spend money on you til you sleep with them. then the money stops. NoT in all cases, but in most.

    You could also try a prepaid cell phone and leave it off except to check your messages. Then return the calls, if you want from that phone. It gives them more of the illusion.

  7. #7
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    NEVER give your number. Unless you want to hear someone slobbering at you for free. And gosh, what sane woman wants that?

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kharisma
    I have an email address set up specifically for customers. In my experience men will spend money on you til you sleep with them. then the money stops. NoT in all cases, but in most.

    You could also try a prepaid cell phone and leave it off except to check your messages. Then return the calls, if you want from that phone. It gives them more of the illusion.
    That's why I decided not to bother with regulars, b/c I figure they will probably spend a lot of money on you the first night and then less and less... then eventually they will get tired of you or find a new or better girl... or their goal the entire time was to eventually get to sleep with you and if they don't see that happening they might lose interest.

    This particular guy was forceful and manipulative. He knew what he wanted and he was an expert at manipulating his way. It was pretty clear he wanted sex THAT night and that was it. I guess what made it so complicated and tempting was that chemistry that just doesn't happen everyday.

    I wouldn't have given him my email address either though, lol. Got that intuition that he was not to be trusted... at all... but for all other purposes the separate email acct just for this purpose seems like a good idea.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine
    NEVER give your number. Unless you want to hear someone slobbering at you for free. And gosh, what sane woman wants that?
    LOL!! You guys are making me feel better! He offered a discreet amount of money for that night but I would have done it for free ahahahaha... okay, stick with my promise to myself no giving out #s and no drinking on the job .

  10. #10
    Veteran Member TarynJolie's Avatar
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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Also please keep in mind that in some areas just giving out a phone number or email addy to a custy can constitute dissertation for prostitution and can get you arrested.

    It is up to the individual what risks they want to take in life such as getting arrested or the possibility of one of these guys being a stalker. Just please be aware of all the possible outcomes of your actions and choose accordingly.

  11. #11
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    ^ He was probably wearing that famous Pheremone cologne..LOL

    IMHO, a "forceful and manipulative" guy WITH a wedding band is a D*CK who needs a trampling from the bouncers. But that's JMHO.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    AND he called you a bitch. Um, what's so sexually attractive like that? I mean, I could understand the entire letter except for that part. It's annoying if a guy pushes, but it can also be flattering--ESPECIALLY if he's also spending a lot of money on you. But the second he turns hostile....if you're barely legal, you're going to have to learn where your boundaries are. You knew enough to not give out your number but you put up with being called a bitch..
    bleargh.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by fancygirl
    AND he called you a bitch. Um, what's so sexually attractive like that? I mean, I could understand the entire letter except for that part. It's annoying if a guy pushes, but it can also be flattering--ESPECIALLY if he's also spending a lot of money on you. But the second he turns hostile....if you're barely legal, you're going to have to learn where your boundaries are. You knew enough to not give out your number but you put up with being called a bitch..
    bleargh.
    Yeah, I know. I know wish I left sooner... I put up with a LOT. The least I can be thankful about is the fact that I didn't give him my contact info and I threw away his. I also wish the bouncers would have came over and tossed him out.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    easy.

    Get a prepaid cell phone. Which I got specifically for regs. I have it so that they can call me when they are coming in and things of that nature.

    Email is too much for me. Most of the time the regs dont do it or are afraid their wives will get into the account.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    You need to use your best judgement and more importantly... your woman's intuition.

    I have given my number before and it turned out to be very profitable.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    can it be profitable? Of course. But at what cost?

    For me, I need a clear distinction between my work persona and my real-life persona to keep me sane. I don't feel right treating guys OTC the same way I do in the club. My Emily (my real name) identity is sacred to me because it's really all I have in the end.

    I think when I'm with a customer and I'm not in a strip club, it crosses the line and *I* have problems differentiating between my two identities. I refuse to sell my real self because it takes a toll on me, but then I can't be a 24/7 stripper. When you call me and I'm at home, I can't be "Morgan" (my dance name)...and I don't want to be.

    but it sucks because now I'm at a new club and I have no way of telling anyone where to find me. I'm not losing too much sleep over this though.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kharisma
    I have an email address set up specifically for customers. In my experience men will spend money on you til you sleep with them. then the money stops. NoT in all cases, but in most.

    You could also try a prepaid cell phone and leave it off except to check your messages. Then return the calls, if you want from that phone. It gives them more of the illusion.
    money stops? (I am a poor dude btw) I've met and slept with a dancer, but we still meet outside.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by emptyroom
    money stops? (I am a poor dude btw) I've met and slept with a dancer, but we still meet outside.
    congratulations

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    ^^^certainly. I've given out my phone number to a couple guys and had about 50% success, but I tend to do email because those are more easily disposable than phone numbers. It CAN be a good idea, but really--my whole point was to avoid guys who become this hostile this quickly. If anything, make a guy come back to the club a few times before you give out personal info--make him work for it, and you'll know he'll probably be worthwhile, more so, anyways, than just someone who wants it on the same day they met you.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    It all depends on the club environment you work in and the customers you choose to exchange numbers with.

    I work in small town clubs on bookings where I am at the same clubs about every 4-6 weeks for one 6 day week, and in those clubs guys who like the dancers like to keep in touch and see when you are working.

    Guys who spend a decent amount of money on me ($100-$200 or so) most of the times I am booked, and who are respectful I exchange numbers with. This is a selling business, and guys who like you, and who are decent customers should be chatted with randomly to keep them around. E-mail isn't as good as 2-5 minutes on the phone. It's not as personal.

    My wealthy regular calls daily during the week, and when I'm in town on a booking, occasionally I will ride to the city with him when he goes on business, and we have lunch and he takes me to the mall and gives me several hundred dollars and some shopping money while he has his meetings. He also spends about $200-$250 on me in the club once or twice during a booking, and will reimburse me by wire or mail several hundred to $1000 for my shopping trips.He constantly asks me if I'm going shopping or need some money. I have no sexual relations with him. He is unhappily married to a golddigger wife, but is not unfaithful sexually. I will deal with him as long as he lasts. A customer like this REQUIRES phone connections and "some" OTC time.

    My point is, you have to play customers by ear, and instead of looking as these guys as people off the street, look at them as people. You are a saleswoman, and they are your customers. Don't look at these guys any differently than people you would sell to in another type of business.The guys who demand more than you are willing to give will fade out, and the guys who see you as one of their ATF'S, will last as long as their shelf life allows.

    Defining boundaries and being too curt with guys who like you will hurt your money. Learn to play the game and treat the "nice" customers who are loyal to you, the way you would like to be treated if you were in their shoes.

    I think too many newer dancers nowadays are not loose enough with the regular customers, and that is why the veteran dancers outsell them. Many veteran dancers make the good regular customers feel "comfortable" with them, are not afraid to have brief phone conversations, or a lunch here and there with the "handful" or less loyal customers who usually spend money on them over other dancers.

    There is no rule of thumb over who you exchange numbers with. It is all a vibe. Definately do not do so with guys who are obviously full of game, or who push for OTC activities, but will not spend in the club. Use your head. These types of customers are usually middle aged or older, not guys in their 20's and early 30's.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    i give out my number all the time. it's:

    867-5309

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Quote Originally Posted by littletassle
    I wouldn't give him my number and he started calling me a bitch, I got his number (which I threw away, although I had sexual chemistry with him what is going to come of it??..
    Ummmm for me, that right there means it's TIME TO GO! Don't ever let a man talk down to you. For you to just sit there, let him call you that, and STILL take his number (I don't care if you threw it away) made you look really bad...This type of guy is used to using women.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    I say if you want to do it, i gave my cell # out a few times, and most times they call and if you feel like talking answer, if not don't

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    Tell them you're amish and don't believe in phones. If anything it will just confuse them, which is always fun.

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    Default Re: to give your # out or not?

    I have a 2nd line just for customers, since I'm in a tourist town they don't call to bother me or be up my ass, they call when they are back in town and have $$$$ to spend. It's been a good investment for me. If they spent good $$ , really enjoyed ME, and were respectful than why have them come into the club next time they are in town with a pocket full of good money with my name on it, not knowing if I'm working or not and get swooped up by one out of the HUNDREDS of girls that work at my club on a packed night.

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