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Thread: What to do about anxiety before work?

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    Angry What to do about anxiety before work?

    Hi ladies,

    I know this sounds really really strange, but when I first started (not too long ago-have been doing this a couple months), I was literally hyped up to do this. I would go into work completely ready to go, rip off my track pants and sweater, change my shoes and work the floor nonstop. My first couple days I was a maniac, raking up as much money as I possibly knew how and loving every minute of it.

    Okay, so now for some reason I get anxiety before I go to work. I take my sweet time getting ready in the locker room and don't even get on the floor for 2 hrs. If I don't make what I think is enough money or if I hear another girl making bank and I'm not, or if one of the bouncers tell me I'm not allowed to do a certain thing I never knew about (I freak out that I'm going to get fired), or I'm not selling much VIPs I get more and more anxious.

    Obivously I did much better when I first started and I'm figuring out slowly it's me and my attitude that is most likely the cause for my downturn in money. My nervousness is starting to affect my eating habits and causing stomach pains. How do I keep this under control- help!!

    Nobody else will understand b/c they think this is "easy money" but it's not!! Yeah it can be fast money but it does take a toll on your mind and body =(.

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    Veteran Member susie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    My guess is you've found out you like the money but don't like living "pay check to paycheck" since the money is not guarenteed. You probably like the security the money brings, but are feeling over nervous because you are not being given an actual pay check. There is no guarantee that you will make money. It's like getting a footing on the rug, and having it pulled out from under you constantly.
    What you could mabe do is get a months sallery saved, then you won't freak out over the bad nights. It's a vicious circle, one other dancers will try to capitalise on. WHen you feel uneasy about money, or just nervous it chases away customers. Just beware, the saving your 'security' is addicting, your next aim will turn into saving a years sallery, and thats what you should do.
    Forget about the money and have fun with it. The guys go there to party w/beautiful women, and have tits shoved in there face.
    The money is in the clubs, but getting it is as easy or as complicated as you choose to make it.
    Tums can help w/the indegestion, and make sure your taking extra calcium, it not only builds strong bones, but it helps ease stress as well(I don't know how, but a friend gives her kids their calcium before bed, and it puts them to sleep, kinda like a glass of warm milk).
    Susie

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    ^^^Good advice. If you're rent/food/bills/ money doesn't absolutely depend on this one shift's pay, then you can relax a little more and tell yourself that the next shift will be better.
    There are also more immediate things you can do to calm feelings of panic. Look into relaxation techniques. One of the simplest and most effective is to pay attention to your breathing. Invariably, when we are anxious, our breathing speeds up. Deliberately make you breathing slow, and this will bring your heart down and make you feel calmer. Notice what parts of your body are tense (hands, shoulders, etc.) and relax them. Visualize yourself doing a good job at work, whatever that means to you -- hustling harder, or being more relaxed with customers, and so on. Whatever you think you need to be doing, picture yourself doing it while you keep your body and breathing relaxed.
    I hope this doesn't sound too cheesy. It works for me.

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    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    I go through this also. 5 years of going through the "motions" ! Ttry to keep a wise mind and stay in focus of your goals. Maybe, you're due for a break. Just suck it up and think about that money. If I find myself sitting in the comfort zone I'll count 1...2...3... GO. Then I get up and go. Try not to get stuck in a bad routine.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    It sounds to me like the honeymoon is over for you.

    When I first started dancing I was oblivious to most of the drama and crap going on around me. Then after I got comfortable in my new career I started seeing the down side of it. I got bored doing the same thing over and over, always having the same conversation with 18 different people every night. I got tired of listening to the same music ("You shook me all night long" by AC/DC anyone??), and I started looking at dancing as a job, and not being paid gobs of money to be a party girl.

    My natural enthusaism for the new and different had faded, and I was getting bored and my money dropped off. I started calling off, or showing up late and leaving early. I would waste time with non tipping customers or hang out at the "dancer" table.

    How did I cure myself? I went to work at a different club in another city. That is still my method of fighting off the burn out. As soon as I start feeling bored I pack a suit case and hit the road. Other things I do to keep from getting bored is I try to find weird news stories to share with my customers, on topics that are safe, like ghosts and aliens and silly stuff like that. I avoid politics, unless the customer brings it up. And even then, if I feel the customer is going to spend on me I will always agree with whatever point of view he is taking.

    Other things to prevent burn out:
    * Watch your numbers- Set goals for yourself and go into work with those goals in mind (ex. Tonight I will do 25 lap dances) and make tally marks on a business card or your hand or something so that you stick to your goal.
    * Try new stage shows. Buy a costume and put on a mini feature show, or participate in a stripper contest or something just to keep thing interesting.
    * Wear a wig to work some night, and try to fool you customers into thinking you are someone else (this works suprisingly well).


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    Thank you so much!

    Yeah, I think it's the pressure to make money that is getting to me as well as the fact that the honeymoon period is now over for me and my eyes and ears have opened up to all kinds of realities to the situation I was oblivious to before. The most stressful thing to me is that I hope the staff/management/girls like me so I don't get elbowed out of the club or anything as well as the cold hard fact that I can walk in one night and bank or leave without any money- it's scary! Thank you for your input (I couldn't really figure out why I was getting more and more stressed out when I thought I should be getting more comfortable with things by now) and as always thank you for your good advice! I feel a little bit better .

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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    I agree with the advice that's been given. I think a lot of it is the unpredictability of the money you're going to make, knowing it's all on you, it's competitive, and with a house fee you're starting out in the hole.

    Pre work anxiety is kind of like getting into a cold shower, you absolutely dread it but once you're in you do warm up. For me the anxiety also came because I was switching worlds-quiet introvert during the day, hot stripper at night. Budget the time it takes to make that switch into your day. If it takes 2 hours to get ready leave that much earlier. I think one important thing to do to combat anxiety is to always leave for work at the same time. Don't visualize the guys and the noise and the things you dread, just go. When you get there do your makeup, etc., focus only on that. Just take each part of the night step by step. It's when you visualize the whole thing at once that you get overwhelmed and lose your ground.

    I asked one particularly cool dancer what the secret to her calm was and she said told me this Buddhist saying "Desire leads to suffering, suffering leads to desire". She just repeated it over and over in her head through the night. It sure beats "Why can't I get a dance?! Why can't I get a dance?!"

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    When I'm doing a midweek day shift at my club, I set my goal:

    Make enough money to buy a bottle of liquor.

    I'm not a serious drinker, but I enjoy home bartending. So increasing my liquor cabinet is fun. I don't think about these shifts as anything to worry about, and sometimes I make a pittance but have my goal ("oh, look! this'll be that yummy coffee-tequila stuff!") and sometimes I make more because I'm relaxed and treating the whole thing as a joke.

  10. #9
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    I try not to think about the money so much. I set more "physical" goals (i.e. "I'm going to talk to sooooo many customers tonight." or "This song I found is really going to go well with my stage show.") rather than focus on numbers. When I lose myself in the actual process of making sales and putting on my "happy face", I don't feel the crunch that I do when I think about how I need to pay this bill or that bill.
    I don't even think about my expenses while I'm at work, or set monetary goals for myself. I just go with the flow, make my rounds and avoid sitting in the dressing room for too long.
    Budgeting can help with financial anxiety too. See the Dollar Den for tips.

    Even if you are starting to feel like you CAN'T talk to custys, stay away from sulking and wasting time talking to other girls. You'll soon find yourself in a time warp and an hour you could have spent doing dances will be lost.

    You can also search for other threads for tips about how to avoid burning out. I believe the most common thing we all agree on is giving yourself little 10-20 minute breaks, buying yourself a new outfit or CD, or taking a mini vacation to somewhere fun on your day off.

    Hope you feel better soon!

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    Also look at biological/physiological reasons. If you have been working hard, you've probably been sleeping a lot during the day. If you miss your daylight you are throwing your hormones into hell... which is just a red flag to the anxiety bull.

    fresh air, sunshine and exercise... (i sound like my mother... yikes)

  12. #11
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nautilus
    Also look at biological/physiological reasons. If you have been working hard, you've probably been sleeping a lot during the day. If you miss your daylight you are throwing your hormones into hell... which is just a red flag to the anxiety bull.

    fresh air, sunshine and exercise... (i sound like my mother... yikes)
    OMG Nautilus.....I am so guilty of never seeing sunshine during the week. My days off are better though, but I still don't wake up until 2pm or so. I've been taking those hair pills everyone was raving about in the Body Business section, so all that extra Biotin (which they say causes depression in large amounts) can't be good either.
    I'm going to make a point to see at least one hour of daylight tomorrow!!! Thanks for reminding me.

  13. #12
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    Another thing you may want to consider is a possible (serotonin) chemical-imbalance, it's nothing serious-I used to have to same exact problem as you until I found 5-HTP (5-Hydroxytrptophan).

    Serotonin is a compound found in the body & concentrated especially in the brain. The neurotransmitter is responsible for regulation of mood & behaivor. Having adequate levels of serotonin can help in feeling calm and relaxed.

    When your brain's natural serotonin levels are unbalanced it can cause unsettling feelings such as anxiety & unhealthy eating patterns. 5-HTP helps to balance your serotonin levels back to normal.

    I usually just take them on days I work & they help me a great deal because my family has a history of anxiety problems so naturally I do too. This stuff helps.You can find them at any store w/a pharmacy or vitamins (CVS, walgreens, etc.) for about $12.

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    Senior Member AutumnLeaves's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex
    I try not to think about the money so much. I set more "physical" goals (i.e. "I'm going to talk to sooooo many customers tonight." or "This song I found is really going to go well with my stage show.") rather than focus on numbers. When I lose myself in the actual process of making sales and putting on my "happy face", I don't feel the crunch that I do when I think about how I need to pay this bill or that bill.
    I don't even think about my expenses while I'm at work, or set monetary goals for myself. I just go with the flow, make my rounds and avoid sitting in the dressing room for too long.
    This is SUCH good advice! I always set a monetary goal for myself based on what I think I can make that particular night, and it can often set me up for stress or let-down. "I'm going to sell three champagne rooms tonight" can be really hard when every time I talk to a customer it's in the back of my mind... they can feel that it is, and they don't like it and they certainly don't buy them.

    I've found that I can decrease my anxiety by working with a friend... if you can befriend just one girl at work, knowing she's around to talk to can help. The flip side of that is that I wouldn't worry so much if management and the girls "like" you. I've worked with plenty of outright diva-bitches, and you sound much nicer than them. As long as you're working (not drinking or hiding in the dressing room), you'll stay working.

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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nautilus
    Also look at biological/physiological reasons. If you have been working hard, you've probably been sleeping a lot during the day. If you miss your daylight you are throwing your hormones into hell... which is just a red flag to the anxiety bull.

    fresh air, sunshine and exercise... (i sound like my mother... yikes)
    OMG yes, I noticed that I was even feeling kind of depressed for no reason at all, which was another reason why I didn't feel like going in to work. I've been talking walks with my dog during the day and it helped so much... it's like the sunshine was all I needed. So now when I wake up in the afternoon the first thing I do is draw open the blinds.

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    Senior Member caitlin's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    I used to sleep til 4 or 5pm when i worked nights and id get anxiety attacks as soon as i woke up just thinking about going to work. It was just so hard to get motivated, So i switched to dayshift, started getting up earlier and actually getting back to a normal routine and it really helped. With dayshift the bar is just opening up and its really laid back . You may not make as much but it definitly helps to have a normal routine. Plus you dont have to sit around all day dreading going to work. You can just get it over with.

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: What to do about anxiety before work?

    we were designed to be diurnal creatures - so trying to live the nocturnal cat life is always going to be a biological drag...

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