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Thread: Buyers remorse

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    Senior Member Widget's Avatar
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    Default Buyers remorse

    I've been seeing and reading a lot lately about social psycology research polling in news and books about how increasing your income makes you happier up to about US$50,000 per year, but beyond that you don't get much happier for large increases in income. I know there are plenty of rich people piling out money to dancers and escorts, but overall aren't much happier than the guy that goes to the SC every couple weeks and spends $100. I've also read in some strip club autobiographies that the richer a guy is, the weirder his tastes seem to be. And that no matter how much you make, an overspender is an overspender. Then there are the studies of big lottery winners who end up overweight and depressed a couple years later, and of course that rich people still commit suicide. What this suggests is once you have enough to comfortably survive and get a few perks once in a while, anything above that gives increased pleasure only as a short term buzz, and you level off to about where you were before, perhaps with buyers remorse.

    Then again, most people are usually looking to get richer, no matter what they make, which suggests people want to be happier and think money will help.

    I don't currently know anything about making a large amount over $50,000, but I'm always curious about this commodity we call happiness and thought that here where the motto is "where's the money, honey", I'd like to see what it means to people.

    I had an interesting case where I was in a strip club and a dancer (edit: who in this particular case was also a prostitute) said I could rent her for "whatever, sex if you want". No big revelation there (edit: I was not suprised there was a prostitute in the strip club), but I asked her if she wasn't making enough money as a dancer and she said her dream was to buy this car she saw in a movie that was one of a kind and she would do whatever she could to get it. I just have to imagine her two weeks after she gets this car and what she is thinking then.
    Last edited by Widget; 01-23-2006 at 12:04 AM.

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    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    You are painting a picture that strippers will do anything for money.There are many people in the corporate world that sell their soles everyday.Money does not always buy happiness but it sure does help.I don't think having money makes anybodys taste weirder.I think a weird person with alot of money shows it more.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    Quote Originally Posted by Widget
    she said her dream was to buy this car she saw in a movie that was one of a kind and she would do whatever she could to get it.
    The folly of youth. If/when she gets it she'll be looking for the next big thing. Of course, take what she said with a grain of salt - it easily could've been BS she was spewing in hopes it'd encourage you to buy from her. I imagine it's worked before.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Senior Member Widget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    Quote Originally Posted by unbeleavable
    You are painting a picture that strippers will do anything for money.There are many people in the corporate world that sell their soles everyday.
    Sorry, that was not what I intended to say, I just took your points for granted.

    To clarify:

    This *prostitute*, who was also a dancer, propositioned me (prostitutes in strip clubs are a small minority but seem to be in most of them). I agree, probably most dancers would not do anything for money. I know this because they're often telling me about how tired they get of costantly having to deal with customers asking to pay for extras. I hear it on the forums as well. And there are plenty of other people whose goal is to make as much money as possible doing their job. People in sales, for one.

    Still, I would think money was usually on a dancers mind throughout her workday, so they would have valid opinions, and there are a lot of wealthy customers here, so they could say something about their current interest in making money and how it relates to their happiness.

    Quote Originally Posted by bridgette
    The folly of youth.
    She claimed she was 28, but I think she was in her early thirties. BTW, the prostitute example was NOT a comment on dancers, but just one of the most obvious examples I've experienced of someone doing something extreme for money to get something I didn't think was so invaluable.
    Last edited by Widget; 01-22-2006 at 11:56 PM.

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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    Money goals are not difficult its the life goals that get me stressed ! I am up way too late 9 the howling wind woke me up -back to bed soon .

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    Featured Member MadisonM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    When I go to work I try to make as much money as possible (no extras, not a prostitute) so that I can put it into savings for the future. I do like to buy myself nice things and treat myself often, but I always make sure I put half of what I make each night into my savings account. So the more money I make, the more I'll have for my savings, and for myself.

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    Quote Originally Posted by Widget
    She claimed she was 28, but I think she was in her early thirties. BTW, the prostitute example was NOT a comment on dancers, but just one of the most obvious examples I've experienced of someone doing something extreme for money to get something I didn't think was so invaluable.
    Just because she was physically 30 something, doesn't mean she mentally was. I know plenty of 30 and 40 year olds who act like fucking high schoolers. heh

  8. #8
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    I understand what youre saying. The moral is - if youre unhappy money wont fix it. I could see how upping your income a bit to enjoy perks (a massage here, a bit nicer car) can make you happier but buying a $100K car wont.

    Im happy if I make enough to pay the bills and put a bit into savings. Ive never strived to be rich... just comfortable. I dont care about sports cars and mansions.

    I think this has to do with the Jones' syndrome. People try so hard to keep up and be better that theyll never be happy because theyll never reach their goal. There will always be someone with a better car, a better house, more money. Theyll work themselves to the bone to reach that higher standard of living all the while dying inside.

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    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    50k is no where near enough to make me happy.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    I think it is easy enough to find happy rich people and depressed rich people. Or happy poor people and depressed poor people. Or happy middle class people and depressed middle class people.

    It is a proven fact that the richer you are the healthier you are. So chances are that rich people don't have to deal with health problems nearly as often as poor people. I think that a persons health contributes directly to their happiness. Living in a cronic pain situation is very difficult to stay happy during. If you can afford the surgery to relieve the cronic pain situation, then your chances of being happier are a lot better.

    When I was able to afford a housekeeper, I was a lot happier because I was able to spend my free time doing hobbies and other fun activities. Now in my free time I must spend time doing mundane house work and yard work, so less time to spend on other more pleasant activities.

    I've been rich and I've been poor (homeless even), and Rich is better .


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    despite my upbringing which was supposed to include: 'the love of money is the root of all evil"..

    i have conclusively proven to myself that the more money i have the happier i am.

  12. #12
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    Interesting (-:
    I have a customer who drops in sometimes who is a psychiatrist. He mentioned one day that I'm the onlt person he knows of who claims to be truely content ( I am incidently.) He also talked about happyness vs contentment which was interesting, but I was probably pissed by them as the memory is a bit bluured, lol! I definatly belive that huge amounts of money wont nessesarilly bring you joy! Extreem examples are that the wealthier countries have much higher suicide rates than the dirt poor countries, but of course it's not just black and white like that, blah.

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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiepunkshocker
    Extreem examples are that the wealthier countries have much higher suicide rates than the dirt poor countries, but of course it's not just black and white like that, blah.
    I think that's because in the wealthy countries, they worry about being happy. In the poor countries, they worry about survival.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Senior Member Widget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    Quote Originally Posted by aussiepunkshocker
    Extreem examples are that the wealthier countries have much higher suicide rates than the dirt poor countries, but of course it's not just black and white like that, blah.
    IMNSHO , Crisis can bring people together, but wealth can drive people apart. In very poor countries, people take care of each other more, whereas in wealthy countries we value our independence, but everyone wants the biggest piece of the pie. I also think there is a lot more social pressure to be something your not in a wealthy country. A lot of people blame this on the media, but maybe we want to be the big kahuna to secretly draw a group back around us for support because we are ambivalent about our independence.

    About the $50,000 number, one thing that's fvcked up is that they don't say $50,000 where. As in $50,000 probably goes twice as far in Lexington, Kentucky as it would in NYC.
    Last edited by Widget; 01-24-2006 at 02:30 AM.

  15. #15
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    I was literally *dirt poor* before I got into dancing over a year ago.

    I was working my butt off in a boring, tedious retail job--where employees and customers constantly criticized me--and making not much more than $200/week! I couldn't afford anything, much less scrape together money to finish college! I was very embarrassed by my job and my money situation, esp in comparison to my former classmates who were lucky enough to land "real" jobs. Credit card debt was inevitable, because my paychecks alone weren't enough to cover costs of living. Since I knew I was gonna be in debt no matter what I did, I would drown out my depression with alcohol at the bars multiple times a week. I was an emotionally disturbed little girl, abusing things such as alcohol, drugs, and sex. And yes, I was unhealthy...I didn't have money for health insurance, let alone to see a doctor when I really needed to.

    In fact, money problems is what turned me to dancing! I needed money for survival! After I became a dancer, my esteem went up and I did feel happier and healthier. Since I BECAME a dancer, I eliminated the drugs(and abuse of sex) from my life. At first, I worked at a somewhat dying club that didn't make me very much money...it was enough to finally afford the necessities of life, but there were periods of financial crisis in my life that demanded I work like 10-14hr shifts nearly every day of the week just to make enough money. After a few months of doing this, I became bitter, moody, and cranky, from feeling like I was overworked & never getting decent sleep. When I changed to my current club, I made the same amount of money in 5hrs, as I had at my old club from opening to close! This meant I could finally focus on sleep, enjoying life, and relaxing, so yeah...I'm happier.

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    Moderator yoda57us's Avatar
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    Quote Originally Posted by Widget
    I had an interesting case where I was in a strip club and a dancer (edit: who in this particular case was also a prostitute) said I could rent her for "whatever, sex if you want". No big revelation there (edit: I was not suprised there was a prostitute in the strip club), but I asked her if she wasn't making enough money as a dancer and she said her dream was to buy this car she saw in a movie that was one of a kind and she would do whatever she could to get it. I just have to imagine her two weeks after she gets this car and what she is thinking then.
    I have a dancer friend who went out and bought a flashy red convertible when she started doing well dancing. She had been driving "beaters" with holes in the floor boards her whole life and that new car was a symbol of success to her. She got tired of it in less than a year, sold it and bought a used SUV....

    Possessions bring temporary satisfaction but long term goals - education, starting a business, buying a home, supporting your kids - also cost money. I don't know that $50,000 is some sort of magic dividing point between hapiness and unhapiness. If your tuition is $30,000 a year then I can see how a dancer, or anyone, would want to earn considerably more than that. Some girls will work five of six days a week , double shifts, some will do OTC for money and some will work a second non-dancing gig. Is it really any different than a non-dancer working two or three different jobs to get everything they want?


    No, money doesn't buy hapiness but it does give people the ability to reach their goals and if they are willing to work hard enough to earn what they feel they need I to reach those goals I have no problem with that. Whatever the job may be.
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us
    Possessions bring temporary satisfaction but long term goals - education, starting a business, buying a home, supporting your kids - also cost money. I don't know that $50,000 is some sort of magic dividing point between hapiness and unhapiness. If your tuition is $30,000 a year then I can see how a dancer, or anyone, would want to earn considerably more than that. Some girls will work five of six days a week , double shifts, some will do OTC for money and some will work a second non-dancing gig. Is it really any different than a non-dancer working two or three different jobs to get everything they want?
    Very well said. The ends justify the means even if on a person-to-person basis.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  18. #18
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Buyers remorse

    I can relate to what yoda57us said about his female friend. He said that she was driving "beaters" her whole life, then when she started dancing, she bought a brand-new sportscar to symbolize success. Same thing happened with me. Only my "beater" wasn't a car with holes in the floor...my "beater" was my own blistered feet half the time, and the other half the time I was taking the Bus late at night in bad neighborhoods. When I finally paid off my debts, I bought an old somewhat beat-up Jetta, but hey at least it got me from Point A to B safely & efficiently. I only drove this until I saved up a considerable deposit for my...new V8engine sportscar!! And I love it!

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