When the lease expires in May, my boyfriend and I are going to move into separate places. We are not going to break up, nor are we fighting. Rather, we feel that we'll appreciate the time spent together, and that we'll have more individual time. We also want to live the bachelor/bachelorette life before possibly making a big plunge, and feel like we've built our lives and careers on our own. I hope that this isn't a sign of gradual demise.
I've come up with some pointers in my experience of cohabitating. Anyone care to add anything?
1) Cohabitate for love and nothing else. A hidden variable that causes statsitics to show that couples who cohabitate tend to break up is because couples may cohabitate out of necessity or convenience rather than love. Feelings of obligation or codependency may arise. I can attest to this. If it wasn't for my bf, I'd still be living with my parents in Pennsylvania. I had a hard time getting on my feet, and he supported me for a while. I got depressed because I felt like a huge burden, and he started to get frustrated. I currently owe him several months in back rent, about $2000. I'm currently working fulltime till I get into nursing school, but it's still a hell of a debt to pay off.
2) Avoid making joint purchases, because if you move out, it'll be easier to decide who gets to keep what. Even if you're not breaking up, it's still like a mini-divorce.
3) Keep a few months of living expenses handy in case you're out of work. Owing rent causes lots of friction in any relationship.
4) Keep in mind that when not cohabitating, going home means "me time." When cohabitating, going home means "us time." Keep up a life independent from your significant each other, but make sure to spend quality time with each other as well.



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(I think I should make that an official disclaimer!)


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