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Thread: Relationships, I hate them.

  1. #1
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    Default Relationships, I hate them.

    Okay. So, I am dating this guy I have dated before. We've probably known each other for two years or something. Well, I feel like I am lying to myself.

    I KNOW I am a lesbian. There is no doubt about it. Yeah, some guys are cute, but relationship wise...it's NEVER my thing. I always have great relationships with girls and am also attracted to them.

    I feel like I am lying to this guy, but we got into the whole "I love you" thing and I feel it'd be really wrong of me to take it back, and go, "Well, you know...I was wrong, It's not going to work based on the fact you're not what I like and I just don't want to be with you". (He knows I am very into girls and doesn't see a problem with it, but he's one of those typical guys that thinks he can have a threesome with two girls...Eck.) Everytime I see him it feels like I am lying to him and myself so I get really bitchy and mean.

    I just don't want to meet some amazing girl and leave him for her. Somehow I would think that'd hurt him more than me just ending it now.

    I mean, he's my best friend, I just don't feel anything romantically. Maybe at one point I did, but I realize that was a confused mistake now.

    How should I break it to him? Right now I just haven't accepted any calls from him and that is rude, mean, and wrong too.

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    Default Re: Relationships, I hate them.

    Dont let this go on any longer for you and for him. If you are really a lesbian then you should be tottally honest with yourself. There was a thread about being a lesbian and I cant find it for you.
    EDIT: Here it is. Was a thread while back. Only reason Im posting the thread is to make sure you arent a lesbian b/c relationships have sucked.

    Just make the call and meet him...then blam break it to him gently.
    Last edited by TigersMilk; 01-29-2006 at 02:10 PM.
    you live like an ivy vine
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    Default Re: Relationships, I hate them.

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk
    Dont let this go on any longer for you and for him. If you are really a lesbian then you should be tottally honest with yourself. There was a thread about being a lesbian and I cant find it for you.

    Just make the call and meet him...then blam break it to him gently.
    Thanks, and yes, I agree I should tell him now rather than latter. I know it might interfere with our friendship, but in some way I think he has an idea since he knew going into the relationship somewhat.

    I'll try to search and find something.

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    Veteran Member ksalerio's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationships, I hate them.

    Yes, you need to tell him as soon as possible. Good luck on finding a good girl

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationships, I hate them.

    It is very good that you are trying to be honest with youself.

    But lying so overtly to your friend is pretty crummy. And being mean to him because of that is bad too.

    I hope you decide to become honest with him and tell him in a NON-MEAN way. If you have troubles with men that caused your lesbianism (it happens sometime), very likely is is not he who caused it. I hope you don't take advantage of hurting him further.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Veteran Member piper_monroe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationships, I hate them.

    Absolutely let him know. Then you guys can both get on with your lives. He can find someone who will be in love with him and you will stop feeling guilty. It would be most fair to both of you and that way you can find someone who you can be in love with too. Don't put it off b/c it's going to hurt. Either way - telling him now or telling him down the road - it's going to suck, but it will suck more if you wait. He'll probbably be more hurt that you strung him along for such a long time if you tell him later when he could have been out trying to find someone who would be into him 100%. Sorry you're going through this.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Relationships, I hate them.

    Quote Originally Posted by threlayer
    It is very good that you are trying to be honest with youself.

    That's the best note in this entire thread

    Mulatto, if you lie to yourself you're lying to others. I was told once that people are mostly unhappy when they live their excuses for what they want instead of living for what they want.

    If you want a great woman and get one, that woman will make you act greatly to her, and if she gets what she wants as a result, you have a great beginning match.

    As for the breakup, that's part of accepting what you want, which may or may not be boys, but right now, it's not him. Stop making this about you and your needs being unfilled. That's not your fauly. It's both of yours, and it's not BAD, you just arent for eachother, regardless of your sexuality. The longer you run the bad relationship, the longer you keep him from finding someone who's right for you.

    You want out of the relationship, who cares why. Sit down, talk to him, and put it behind you so you both can get over it quicker.

    Good luck.

    ::Mast::
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  8. #8
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Relationships, I hate them.

    Just tell him it's only fair that you do and better for you too!
    My best friend of all time tried so hard to date guys and make the hetro thing work for alot of years (3 kids!), but the best thing she ever did was come out as a lesbian - you could just feel the change in her. Don't waste time with the guys if you're really not into them!

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