Not to mope, but I just hate this feeling. This sticky, swollen feeling- like all my muscles won't unclench. Just stabbing until it feels like my bones are water. Anyway. I know it's shortlived and I have to just move on, forget the guy, but are there any tricks to do this? To forget, and keep all delusions in check? (I was/am crazy about him, and then let myself get carried away in my head until, just as I was steeling myself to make a move, seeing his apparent girlfriend last night....owww. I always forget that flirting- even drastic 'i love you, wink wink- let's go make out' kind of flirting- is just that sometimes...silly girl, I know, but guys who are taken should be stamped on the forehead, I swear. We've been very buddy-buddy for a month now, and no mention of his girl? please).
And...it hurts and it's distracting. Like a toothache, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm trying to just go on, do homework, read, etc, but my mind is like teflon. Nothing sticks, everything falls away until I feel like I'm not even here anymore. Which is all well and fine if I only have to dance or sit around writing shit poetry like I could usually handle at a time like this (dancing allows me to emotionally vacate myself, which is convenient..."action is the enemy of thought"), but I have to write term papers. And I just can't focus.
Any advice? How long does it take for this to go away? It's frustrating, and something I'm prone to forget how to deal with.



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hope you feel lots better



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