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Thread: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

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    Senior Member MzGigi's Avatar
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    Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Hello Ladies!!!


    I have a small gripe about something that Happens all the time at every club... Giving 'slack' to the newest dancers!!!

    At my club, most of the dancers are mid twenties, to mid fourties. There are a few college girls who have just gotten hired and they are all very young and pretty, with tight bodies and playboy-esque figures. I can admit, when I saw them come to the dressing room, there was an 'all eyes on them' stare from EVERYONE in the room...

    Unfortunatley, they werent welcomely accepted. And it hasnt just stopped at stares. Its been rumor spreading, backstabbing, evil looks, and nasty comments by some of the older, more senior members of the club(other dancers who have been working many years).

    My question is 'Why do we as women 'Hate' new dancers?' Is it that we feel intimidated? Or is it because we feel a high school senior picking on the freshmen-like pride that we cant seem to shake?

    And what can we do, if anything, to end this cruelty.

    Any advice can we give to newbies?

    ~Thanks in advance for taking time to read this post and, hopefully, to add a response! *Gigi*
    ~*No grave is deep enough to bury the truth*~

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    Veteran Member candie00's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I started working in Octobor at My club. Luckily I particly knew everyone there from going there lots of time before on my nights out downtown, So they were accpetting of me. (Well except one girl =p.) But ppl told me that it was because this girl was jealous of me. I just hope that when I go to Monteral to dance this summer that the girls wont "pick" on me for being new....

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    Senior Member lares's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    i don't understand it either. 99% of the girls that i work with are drama free. but one girls has been getting in my face and shit and it's just so stressful. i think older girls forget how it feels to be in those newbie shoes.
    ~The best revenge is enjoying life.

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    Featured Member MadisonM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I think that older dancers can be intimidated and jealous of new girls because they feel like the new girls are taking over and taking their spots and money. I mentioned a chair-throwing incident that I went through in a different thread, and this dancer who threw the chair at me was yelling things at me like, "respect your elders, I've been doing this 15 years longer than you, etc." When the manager kicked her out, she said to the manager, "I hope this little 12 year old is worth it." I think that they feel like we're taking their place. Now I must say that not all older dancers are like this. I work with some great older dancers who've been doing this for many years, and they always give me advice and help me out however they can. But there are those few older dancers who just can't handle it.

  5. #5
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I was often the "new dancer" (traveling) & didn't have it too bad (maybe they thought I would "cut" them if provoked because I was Latina, LOL) but yeah, even I have had the occasional feelings of annoyance at younger dancers...a lot of the youngest girls are kinda stupid about work etiquette.
    It's this way in every workplace! I've had people gun for me in regular jobs because they could tell I was young & scared. Humans are just monkeys without tails. You wanna see social dynamics, hit the local zoo. It doesn't change whether you're in a titty bar or cubicle office.
    PS All the older dancers at my favorite club (Northern in Fargo ND) out-earn me soundly every time I stop in. I just watch & learn.

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Well, for the most part, the new girls don't listen.

    By that I mean they don't take the time to learn the local laws and rules. Then they get mad at the older girls when they try to tell them whats what.

    I'm sorry, but I won't even go to jail for my husband, much less some 18yr old know it all, who thinks it's ok to have a drink or two, or grab a dixk here and there, or flash their pussies all the time.

    That's the stigma that new girls carry with them.

    But that's just from my personal experiences.
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    xxxxx
    Last edited by Candice; 10-26-2008 at 10:13 AM.

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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I agree with Kitana totally. Also,this biz can be rough so its kinda good to get them prepared for the a-h***s they are going to have to deal with on the floor. It weeds out the weak from the strong.

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    Veteran Member Shayden's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I agree that a lot of new girls come in and obviously don't learn the rules of the club first. Most new girls are hated because they are doing things we veteran girls don't and run around looking like whores all night.

    When there are new girls I try to be nice and say hi, so they don't feel so shaken. There have been clubs I've worked at where a new girl who's never danced before starts and all the girls will try to help her learn how to dance. It's great to see something like that happen.

    Other clubs there are SO many girls, you can never tell who's new and who's not.
    When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail!

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Ha, I got those "stares" when I started...Hell I still do from time to time. I've been at my club for 2 months and a few (not all) girls are FINALLY starting to talk to me.

    We have a few new girls and they are totally into kissing the more experienced dancers ass. That is so not me.

    Anyway, I think older, more experienced dancers hate because they can't compete. If a customer comes into a club 1x per month and sees the same chick, after a while he will start to get bored. I dunno, that's kinda the reaction I get when customers meet me for the firt time.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by MzGigi

    Unfortunatley, they werent welcomely accepted. And it hasnt just stopped at stares. Its been rumor spreading, backstabbing, evil looks, and nasty comments by some of the older, more senior members of the club(other dancers who have been working many years).
    Oh yea, you just reminded me. I'm going to detroit to work the superbowl at a sister club...I'm really under the impression that those girls are gonna look at me the same way too But umm ask me if I give a f***







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    For me it's all about attitude. When a new girl comes into my club (a) acting like she is the hottest thing around or (b) being a completely obnoxious ding bat...then yes she gets the cold shoulder from me. We recently had a young, very hot newbie start. Although this is her first club she figured out the dynamic extremely fast. She treated us veterans with respect. Nothing big, just learning whos who and saying hello using our names. You know, the Golden Rule. We all love her! We give her tips, include her in our chats, refer her to customers etc. If all new girls had good attitude and respect as she did, there would be no "hating".

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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    You have to factor in the turnover rate in this job. I've only been dancing for two years and I've already seen so many girls come and go and do crazy, fucked-up things to each other in the interim that it definitely takes me a month or two to be more than polite to someone I don't "know." It's less jealousy than, "oh god, what's this one going to do?" Like being a new kid in school. People are going to sit there and watch you prove yourself on your own, more often than not. On the upside, this is why new girls make so much money... they just want to be out of the dressing room and away from all the eyeballs. Meanwhile, they're working. Also, every regular customer has to "try out" the new girl. I think most people know that a new girl is getting a lot of dances/money/attention because she's new, but the jealousy is there anyway. And it's stupid, but when you're having a long, hard night and not doing that well, there's always Miss Chipper 18 year-old skipping into the dressing room all big-eyed going, "that man just gave me $400 to cuddle!" ... ugh. Not the new girl's fault, but ugh, anyway.

    If I get like this after dancing for 2 years, I can only imagine how it feels after 15.

    At any rate, it seems like the girls you end up eventually trusting are the ones who are totally shady at first and won't even look up when you try to tell them their outfit's cute. Has anyone else noticed that?
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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Older and more experienced dancers do that because we have run into so many know it all drama queens who bop around and act like Miss royal shit, hopping from Manager to manager to suck his dick sooooooooooo much better than anyone else or the DJ for that matter. These young girls will snort anything, fuck anything, disrespect everyone, and generally make the more established I-make-my-living-doing-this woman's life a living hell. Believe me it's not jealousy, or any other such sort of emotion.

    You all know it's a dog eat dog sort of world where we work and everyone is always jockeying for status. Personally I could give a rats ass, I only act like that when threatened. It's just the way the world works. Now I am of course not saying ALL young girls are like that, because I'm sure they are not. But it is better to start off right away and let others know you wont be pushed around.

    My two cents worth.
    Miss R

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    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I've been at my club for about 2 and a half months now. Last week another girl who's been there for years randomly informed me at the end of the night that she liked me and that that was rare because she didn't usually like "new girls." At first I thought it was funny, because I considered myself well past the new girl status. But then I thought about it from her perspective. She's seen hundreds of new girls come and go and most of them didn't hang around for very long.

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    Featured Member MeganS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Personally, I love newbies.... they make me look so much more mature and sexy, and honestly, the older gents with money appreciate that.
    "A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."
    Francoise Sagan

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    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I will be the new girl very soon, and I am 27, so I don;t let that shit get to me! I look at it as jealously, I am not there to make life long friendships, girls can be cruel,

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    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    It depends on the girl. Some girls are willing to get along and some aren't. We all dance for a reason. It could be money, attention, power, and the list goes on. Whateva' blows your skirt up. I get along well with others for the most part. But, don't come in talkin' shit or being a dirty dancer. Simple. Some girls aren't told the rules or laws when they come in. I blame that on Mngmt.
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

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    Member mysticmeadow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Wow guys!! Now i am more nervous than I was 5 minutes ago!!!!! I start dancing next week, so I will be that "new girl", I geuss the thing that makes my stomache queezie is I am 28 and so past the high school drama scene!!! I have nothing but the utmost respect for those of you "veterans" at this, its the ones who have been doing it, and doing it good that us newbies learn from- anyways just giving you all the new girl perspective.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I've been at my club since October, and I still barely talk to the other girls. I have the feeling other dancers think I'm arrogant or weird, but I'm just trying to mind my own business and stay out of the drama. I'm also a pretty ruthless hustler, which doesn't make me any friends. I tip the staff, I'm respectful to everyone, and I don't sit with anybody else's regular, if I know who they are. I think I'm actually a cleaner-than-average dancer, but I don't know, since I'm working, not sitting around watching everybody else's dance. I try to play by the rules, but you can't really expect a new girl to know exactly what the "rules" are, if no one explains them.

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo
    I I try to play by the rules, but you can't really expect a new girl to know exactly what the "rules" are, if no one explains them.
    Actually yes I can. If you want to be a doctor, you have to know what's what. why should anything else in life be any different? Especially if your doing something wrong could cause not only you, but everyone else to go to jail.

    I mean everyone of age know taking money for a HJ or a BJ is illegal. So why do these noobs think since they are a dancer it's ok?????! And then they feign innocence when called out. BULLSHIT! You know better. Plain and simple. They just did it due to the fact their hustling skills aren't top notch and want to make big money too. They don't wanna earn their dues, they just want it now and don't care how they get it. I hate 18yr old know it all brats who think their shit smells like roses, lol. Grow up and learn some fuckin respect damnnit!!!

    As far as travelling girls go, if they are vets, I am still a little standoffish but only cause I haven't had time to feel you out yet. I don't know if you are a theif, hooker, drug runner, etc... If you stick around and are a cool chick, I'll warm up to up soon enough. That's different. Horse of another color if you will.
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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by kitana
    Actually yes I can. If you want to be a doctor, you have to know what's what. why should anything else in life be any different? Especially if your doing something wrong could cause not only you, but everyone else to go to jail.
    Oh, good grief. I'm not talking about the law, I'm talking about the unspoken, so-called "rules." As in, don't talk to that guy, he always gets dances from so-and-so. Don't sit at that table, that's where whatsername sits. Don't play that song, that's HER song. This is the stuff for which older dancers bitch out newbies. I can't speak for any club but mine, but in that place, once you've been there a while and buddied up to the right people, you can give all hj's you want and no one will turn you in, because they're your "friend." New dancers are the only ones who get in trouble, and they get in trouble for EVERYTHING.

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    Veteran Member candie00's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Alot of You are saying that the "new girls" dont follow the rules, And were young and nyive and blah blah blah. But I have to totaly dissagree with this in my case. If I go to a new club I asked the rules before I start working and I do follow them because I wouldn't wan't anyone to disrespect me so I will not disrespect any of the other girls or manegment at work. But I do agree that some younger girls do have a rep for doing this but this does not mean You should judge every new girl like this unless She does sumthing wrong. Dont judge her without knowing her.

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    Veteran Member BeBe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I don't hate the new girls I hate those girls who do "extras" and many of the new girls that start where I work are dirty strippers who have been fired at other clubs. It brings our business down and many of the veterans fear that the club might get raided because of all of the BS that the new girls are pulling. It takes a few weeks for them to get caught up, but it's ridiculously stressful.

    Granted, not all newbies are like this, but for me it's safer to keep my distance. I've had newbies try to pump me for information and get close to me and I question everyone's motives in that environment, especially the fresh fish. It's a newbie stigma and it's not going anywhere. I'm not a hater, but I'm not helping them either, especially if you don't know if they're going to be there tomorrow.

    My only recommendation to newbies is the same advice I would give myself which would be to keep it moving (out on the floor), keep it simple (when you're talking to management), and keep to yourself (when you're in the dressing room) at least until you can tell whose a friend or a foe.

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by candie00
    Alot of You are saying that the "new girls" dont follow the rules, And were young and nyive and blah blah blah. But I have to totaly dissagree with this in my case. If I go to a new club I asked the rules before I start working and I do follow them because I wouldn't wan't anyone to disrespect me so I will not disrespect any of the other girls or manegment at work. But I do agree that some younger girls do have a rep for doing this but this does not mean You should judge every new girl like this unless She does sumthing wrong. Dont judge her without knowing her.
    If you would of read all of the posts, mine included you would of been able to see what was being discussed.

    It's not about a judgment, it's about self preservation and assumptions. In like kind, Guilty till proven innocent would work well.
    Until you PROVE that your not out to disrupt a pleasant working environment expect to be treated like the "new girl." Even I have been treated like that. So what. Keep your head down, learn who's reg goes with what girl and be polite. Until you become part of the club your not a family member.
    'Nuff said.

    Miss R

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