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Thread: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

  1. #26
    Veteran Member candie00's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    ^^ I've been reading this whole thread.... Im just trying to get my 2 cents in....

    And I did not say everyone was has it in for the newbies.. I said alot of You, Because most of the responce I have read were explaing how ppl think newbies do alot of extras and do not follow the rules. I was just trying to explain how I do not do extras and I do indeed follow the rules.

  2. #27
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by Crow
    It's not about a judgment, it's about self preservation and assumptions. In like kind, Guilty till proven innocent would work well.
    Until you PROVE that your not out to disrupt a pleasant working environment expect to be treated like the "new girl." Even I have been treated like that. So what. Keep your head down, learn who's reg goes with what girl and be polite. Until you become part of the club your not a family member.
    'Nuff said.

    Miss R
    Good call!

    This is pretty much the definative word on the subject IMO.
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  3. #28
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    This crap all boils down to the same thing, lack of mandatory training and meetings for ALL dancers on a regular basis.

    These girls NEED to understand what customers look for in a club. Read some of the SCL posts. Guys get bored with the same girls working all the time, they like variety or the club becomes stale. The dancers need to understand if the club becomes boring, the customer count will go down and no one will make much money.

    This happened at a club I was booked at last week. 6 of us were booked to work the paid Mon-Sat booking, and one girl who wasn't booked but has booked this club before called and asked if she could come in Fri night and work for tips only (no base pay). The owner said yes, and when she got there she stayed in the dressing room for an hour, and then is one of those girls who sachets around the floor waiting for guys to call her over instead of hustling. She is known by some of the customers as she has worked area clubs for awhile.

    I tend to do well in this club and sold 32 dances this night. The other black girl working this girl had run off from her home club 100 miles away. The other black girl sold just under 30 dances, and all the white girls had 20 dances or less. This bitchy white girl only sold 13 dances, was watching me and the other black girl all night and badmouthing us. She couldn't take 2 black girls outselling her. I usually am number 1 or 2 in dance sales at this club all the time. Saturday she came in and told the owner we were jacking off the customers to get that many dances which is a lie. None of that goes on in this club.

    The owner knew that was a lie and told her if she were working the floor instead of worrying about everyone else she could have made her money. The white girl, and the other black girl had a major argument with me slighly in the mix, then the bitchy white girl walked out.

    Do you know she had the nerve to call the sheriffs dept and tell them sex was going on in the club. The sheriffs are friends with the owners so no harm done, but she just 86'ed herself from this club, and maybe others in the area as word travels fast in the country. Plus her father and law and her recently opened a costume store in the major city in the area. Her behavior cost him costume sales in the club that night and may turn girls off from patronizing the business.

    Why would a dancer do that, especially one who is established and known?

    That is why many dancers are seen as "flaky", and many club owners and managers are sick of us.

  4. #29
    Senior Member forevernaked's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I admit I am totally guilty of doing this. But at my club it is generally understood to be the right of passage. When I first started a few years ago, it was nothing but dirty looks, rude remarks, nasty rumors, and occasionally even a face-to-face bitch out session. But I kept showing up, kept making money, kept smiling in the face of bad behavior, and eventually I was accepted. In fact, many of the same girls who treated me VERY rudely initially are close friends of mine now. They have of course apologized. So now that I am not "new" anymore, I guess I have changed into the shit-talking, mean-mugging girl I used to fear.

  5. #30
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I know new girls at a club can be a pain..I just feel bad for them sometimes. I remember how scary it was to be in their shoes. I don't mind taking them under my wing. Maybe hoping for some good karma coming my way if I'm ever in their shoes again (which I am right now)

  6. #31
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Tina, you know some chicks are crack heads - sounds like that gal was on something.
    Then again I've been wrong before.

  7. #32
    Senior Member dolliest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I suppose it's for teh same reason the new girl was made to feel like crap in HS. even the best of us can be territoral and too competative.
    We can move with savage grace to the rhythms of the night
    Cool and remote like dancing girls, in the heat of the beat and the lights

  8. #33
    Veteran Member candie00's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina

    I tend to do well in this club and sold 32 dances this night. The other black girl working this girl had run off from her home club 100 miles away. The other black girl sold just under 30 dances, and all the white girls had 20 dances or less. This bitchy white girl only sold 13 dances, was watching me and the other black girl all night and badmouthing us. She couldn't take 2 black girls outselling her. I usually am number 1 or 2 in dance sales at this club all the time. Saturday she came in and told the owner we were jacking off the customers to get that many dances which is a lie. None of that goes on in this club.

    The owner knew that was a lie and told her if she were working the floor instead of worrying about everyone else she could have made her money. The white girl, and the other black girl had a major argument with me slighly in the mix, then the bitchy white girl walked out.

    Do you know she had the nerve to call the sheriffs dept and tell them sex was going on in the club. The sheriffs are friends with the owners so no harm done, but she just 86'ed herself from this club, and maybe others in the area as word travels fast in the country. Plus her father and law and her recently opened a costume store in the major city in the area. Her behavior cost him costume sales in the club that night and may turn girls off from patronizing the business.

    It's very unfortunit that this girl got jealous and anger just because You'r black, I get along great with the black girls at my club I have absolutly nothing wrong with them juat because of their colour thats so stupid. But You seem to be a strong headed woman so I can tell You'll be fine

    And btw what do you mean by she just 86'ed herself from this club? =p.....

  9. #34
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I've been dancing for 5 years. Every girl i have ever worked with has looked at a "newbie" the same way. And when I look at myself and remember my beginning , I laugh. Don't be so quick to judge. Like most of the other girls at my club, I'm a single mother trying to make it work. It's easy to feel confidant when you see a new girl struggling, but we all know what it's like to be new.

  10. #35
    Veteran Member Feiticeira's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I must have been lucky, I got no haters

  11. #36
    Veteran Member heidimonster7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I remember being the new girl at my old club. I had heard rumors about how extreme the competition is, and the fact that some girls are going to be cruel. So I showed up, talked to no one, kept my energy to myself, didn't act like an ass, and had very few problems. I once accidently overstepped a bound (sat on another dancer's blanket, her territory I guess), a dancer reprimanded me, and I respectfully apologized. It wasn't that I was walking on eggshells, but I think it helped that I went in there and didn't try to make friends until the dancers approached me first. It worked out for me.

  12. #37
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    i don't plan on acting like an ass, but it is anathema to me to kiss ass.

    the way i see it, it's a job. like the poster above said, i'm there to make $$ and go home to the rest of my life.

    i don't give people reason to dislike me, but if someone's going to dislike me anyway because she's petty or just because i'm new...i can't be bothered to care.

  13. #38
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Candie 00, 86ed means banned from the club. The owner is not going to allow a girl to rebook there who is a troublemaker.

  14. #39
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I remember when I was new, I did not keep my head down, and I did not keep my mouth shut.

    I would blurt out shit like "I can't believe that I'm selling the most dances, again!!" and "Oh My GOD, I just made $600 more then anyone else here tonight!"

    Then I would offer advice to the vetern dancers as to how to make more money, when I had only been dancing 6 months, and they had been doing it for years.

    I was promptly schooled on shutting my mouth, and just doing my job. At lease I wasn't tarred and feathered and rode out of town on a rail!

    That is why so many vetern dancers dislike newbies.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  15. #40
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Okay - I'll cop to it. I feel threatened by newbies.
    I know when I'm new, I walk in and fully intend on out earning everyone. I assume that they all are too.
    I get used to the status quo, find my place in the club, contented make my money and then we get a new element, and I don't know what that does to me. So I examine her, I see how she's the same, how she's different. "Oh, well," I say, "I do better than that" or "Eeh. She look pretty good doing that." And then I get used to her, and the world hasn't ended, and she's not new anymore, and then ANOTHER DAMN NEWBIE COMES ALONG and it starts all over again.

    Of course, I do all this with my "inside voice" (and by that, I mean "inside my head") because I realize that it is not their fault that I am threatened by them. I'm always very nice and helpful and friendly (although maybe a little more helpful when I am very non-threatened).
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  16. #41
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    Quote Originally Posted by kitana
    I mean everyone of age know taking money for a HJ or a BJ is illegal. So why do these noobs think since they are a dancer it's ok?????! And then they feign innocence when called out. BULLSHIT! You know better. Plain and simple.
    Actually, hon, I'm gonna call Bullshit on that. It's not always about a full out blowjob. We all know that in every club there are "the rules" and "THE RULES". And if you are in one of the two clubs in whcih that is not case, you do know that it is the case in every other club.

    The only way of learning "THE RULES" is by watching everyone REAL, real close, asking the girls or asking the customers. Everytime I've started a new club I've had to ask a girl what the girls are doing - really and if she just repeats "the rules" I know damn well that she's lying.

    They just did it due to the fact their hustling skills aren't top notch and want to make big money too. They don't wanna earn their dues, they just want it now and don't care how they get it. I hate 18yr old know it all brats who think their shit smells like roses, lol. Grow up and learn some fuckin respect damnnit!!!
    Well, me I didn't get into the business to show respect to people who haven't done a damn thing to earn it (and seriously - I've been dancing a long time, and the successful career dancers notwithstanding, I think we all know that being a veteran exotic dancer is not an accomplishment). I got into it to make big money. And it's not the kind of job that people get into to "pay dues".
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  17. #42
    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    [QUOTE=Jenny]
    The only way of learning "THE RULES" is by watching everyone REAL, real close, asking the girls or asking the customers. Everytime I've started a new club I've had to ask a girl what the girls are doing - really and if she just repeats "the rules" I know damn well that she's lying.[QUOTE]

    I know what you are saying, but some if the girls that have been coming around here lately, have been like I posted, lol. I just don't get some of these girls honestly.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny
    Well, me I didn't get into the business to show respect to people who haven't done a damn thing to earn it (and seriously - I've been dancing a long time, and the successful career dancers notwithstanding, I think we all know that being a veteran exotic dancer is not an accomplishment). I got into it to make big money. And it's not the kind of job that people get into to "pay dues".
    No, you are right it's not. But the respect thing I was talking about is kinda different that I guess I explained. Here's a good example.:

    Thisgirl was working at my club last year and she was trouble, lol. so one day after we were told by mgmt to watch out asses and to obey the law to the letter, she goes and breaks about 10 different laws in 15 mins. I asked her if I could talk to her when she got the chance, and when she came back to the DR, I told her what she was doing that was illegal. She blew up. Now mind you, I was very polite and said more than once, I know you are new and didn't know. So I am just trying to help you out. She again went off, and bashed me for being 27 and still a fucking stripper, and that I must be either really stupid not to be able to get a real job, or I must have a huge coke habit to support. (Mind you I have never even been in the same room as cocaine, lol. Anyone that really knows me can tell you a coke whore is the farthest thing from me.) She refused to listen and didn't give myself or the other three girls who were trying not only to help her and cover her ass, but ours too; any respect. Even thouh we knew what to do and what NOT to do.

    That' the whole respect thing I was talking about. I'm sorry if I didn't explain myself better that you didn't get that meaning out of it.
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  18. #43
    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I may be the only one, but I am really really NICE to the new girls. I try to teach them how to get along and how to sell dances without doing extras. I do it in honor of the first girl I was teamed up with, who not only taught me the business but opened her home to me when I needed to get out of my mom's house.

    I also find it makes for a better culture among the dancers. Somebody has to tell the new girls that you don't cut in on somebody else's sales, etc. Otherwise, everybody will bitch about the offending new girl behind her back until there is a big blow-up.

    This week, I taught one girl about tampons (never used them before), Gave one girl a quickie sales lesson, consoled a girl who had a bad night, lent out a bra and boy shorts . . . .You get the picture. I am the onofficial house mom.

    It comes back to me, too. I have never-ending supply of costumes to borrow, partners for double dances, co-workers who are willing to stop on their way in and grab me a cup of coffee, and other favors.


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  19. #44
    Senior Member pumpkin22's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I think it must just be intimidation. When I was new, the girls were nice for about a day. Then after that, all bets were off. One day I was making a lot of money from a guy who wanted dance after dance, but it was dayshift, so most of the other girls weren't making any money. When I was in the dressing room later, I was in there with 2 other girls. One of them said, "I can't believe I'm not making money today, when new girls who are fucking nasty, fat, and have no talent are making bank." She knew I was right there, and I was the only new girl working that day. I know it's just words, but I thought it was so mean!! I've tried to break the cycle by being nice to new girls because I never forgot how shitty it felt to be new, nervous, and hated. I'm going to be a new girl again soon, and I'm totally dreading it.

  20. #45
    Nariah
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    i don't think its fair to tar everyone with the same brush, its not just clubs its everywhere you go this women=bitchy tag needs to stop...

    If you see a new girl just greet her we were all "new" once an we're all gonna end up old and tatty anyway so who gives a toss?

  21. #46
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    words of advice: if you want new girls to respect you & the rules of the club, treating them badly isnt the (best) way to get that done. telling/showing them how the club works, what to do & not do in dances, what to charge, etc will help them understand the norms of the club. this means that they will not be doing more than you, charging less than you, etc etc. i.e. they wont be making competition unfair. yes, new girls are competition, but they're less of a threat to $ if they know whats what. Ex: i was never treated bad as a new girl, but instead was taught 'stripper etiquette' such as don't approach guys at tiprail, dont approach guys w/ a girl, etc. i think its better to teach new girls these things by taking 2 seconds to explain it to them then by being a bit*h to them & expecting them to learn...plus, i would imagine its harn to learn respect for a person thats treating you like crap...

  22. #47
    Senior Member anabella's Avatar
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    Default Re: Hating the "New Girl"?!? Why do we do it?

    I am new. At my club, the girls who have been there a while are basically just indifferent to the new girls. They don't help them out, but they don't get in their faces either. I've heard a few of them throwing around comments that weren't so nice, but none in my direction yet. I understand the competitive aspect, and also seeing so many girls come and go, why really get attached to them? It would be nice to have someone give me pointers, but oh well. Some of us new girls have kind of bonded and I think that also works well. When a guy wants two girls to dance for him at once I always pick another new girl whom I know well. I think the girls who have been there longer are missing out. If they made friends with me, they'd make a little more money. Sometimes guys will say, oh I want so and so to come over here. If they were nice to me I'd go track them down and help them make money, but if the girl has never spoken to me I just say, "oh I'm sure she'll be by."

    It's a little easier in our club because the rules and THE RULES are the same thing. You'll get fired for touching a guy or letting him touch you, everyone knows it, and no one tries. If they do, they don't work there anymore.

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