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Thread: Stupid things custies say:

  1. #1
    Featured Member sexy_celeste's Avatar
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    Default Stupid things custies say:

    "Are you sure you dont want me to suck your pussy? Ill do it for no extra charge"

    I just laughed.

    What are YOUR best/worst conversations?
    Last edited by sexy_celeste; 02-07-2006 at 04:05 AM.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    "So when are you going to watch me come in my mouth?"
    From a guy who claims to be able to suck his own dick and wants me to take pictures of him doing so.

  3. #3
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    Ron Jeremy did that in his early Porn days I just watched and was thinking -you lucky basturd !

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan-Va
    "So when are you going to watch me come in my mouth?"
    From a guy who claims to be able to suck his own dick and wants me to take pictures of him doing so.

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    God/dess colleen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    Oh, boy! You must be new at this. After a few months, you will hear so many stupid things they will totally fail to impress you.


    My MySpace Page:


    When you perform... you are out of yourself--larger and more potent, more beautiful. You are for minutes heroic. This is power. This is glory on earth. And it is yours, nightly.

    --Agnes De Mille

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    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousJ
    Ron Jeremy did that in his early Porn days I just watched and was thinking -you lucky basturd !
    It's over rated, trust me.

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    Senior Member Princess Sex's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    My colleague and I have a score system where you get points for stupid questions such as 'do you want music to dance to' (we do parties, not club work) and when we ask for a beer 'do you want the lid on or off?' and hand us an empty bottle.
    When David Hasselhoff was born, the nurse said, "Holy Cow! That's David Hasselhoff!" Then she slept with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    Customer slapped my whipped cream covered ass, and when the bouncer asked him to leave, he claimed he didn't touch me (his hand was still covered in whipped cream).

    Customers thinking they can get me hot by saying stuff like: "I can make you come more than anyone else!" (Yeah, whatever...maybe if I actually thought you were attractive and 20 years younger)

    Young customer trying to cash in on being cute and getting his feelings all hurt when no dancer will give him freebies.

    Any sentence that starts "you could make so much more money if you worked at..." Fill in the blank with any other location besides the one we are sitting in .

    Or the questions about "what happens" during private dances. There is really only one way to find out, or ask a more specific question ie; "can I touch during a lap dance?" etc.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  8. #8
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    The best one I ever heard was in Oregon. The guy was wasted, but he was spending money like it was his last night on earth, so I was hanging out with him and dancing for him. At one point he leaned in and asked, very quietly and seriously, "Are you a free woman?" Huh? He went on, "I know a lot of these clubs are trafficking in, you know, women who aren't free. If you aren't a free woman, I might be able to help you."

    I still laugh when I think about it. I just assured him that yes, I really was in a super-clean no-contact club making $20 a song purely of my own volition. He was visibly relieved to hear it.

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    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    Him: "You can't handle this.."
    Me: "I can't even feel it."

    Any time they comment on my genitalia.. Why, oh why must they do this? And they think it's a compliment about it's size, shape or the possiblity of wht it might taste like.. My response is: Thanks, I grew it myself!
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



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    Member BrittaneeDreame's Avatar
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    Re: Stupid things custies say:

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    The best one I ever heard was in Oregon. The guy was wasted, but he was spending money like it was his last night on earth, so I was hanging out with him and dancing for him. At one point he leaned in and asked, very quietly and seriously, "Are you a free woman?" Huh? He went on, "I know a lot of these clubs are trafficking in, you know, women who aren't free. If you aren't a free woman, I might be able to help you."

    I still laugh when I think about it. I just assured him that yes, I really was in a super-clean no-contact club making $20 a song purely of my own volition. He was visibly relieved to hear it.

    omygosh that tottaly mde my day, that was so funny, ahhahahaha.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Jessica Lords's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    "How do you girls stop having periods?" - I think that was the silliest question I ever heard.

  12. #12
    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    If I pay u $200 will you fart on me?
    My answer: Damn I wish I had to fart right now...Gross!
    I work in a topless club so I get asked for a peek on occasion. My reply: I'm runnin' a 3 dollar and 99 cents special! It's your lucky day! Of course I'm being totally sarcastic when I say this. The look on thier face is priceless.
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

    Blessed Be

  13. #13
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    My fav thing to do is when I walk up to them, smiling, bouncing, for obvious reasons and they wave me off before I even open my mouth.. My retort is.. " Well gosh, you just missed out on your free blow job. Now don't you feel stupid."

    Or when I ask a guy if he wants a dance and he says.. " I just ordered a beer." You dumb fuck, do I LOOK like a waitress? Christ.

  14. #14
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    Custie : "No, I don't want a dance but would you like to caddie for us tommorrow morning"? me : "Ummm, what makes you think after working all night I want to wake my happy ass up at 6am and haul your shit around all day"?

  15. #15
    Featured Member sexy_celeste's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    Customer slapped my whipped cream covered ass, and when the bouncer asked him to leave, he claimed he didn't touch me (his hand was still covered in whipped cream).
    This guy totally wins jerk of the year! Reminds me of the kid covered in chocolate denying stealing the cake!!Ill certainly re-tell THIS one, as long as you dont mind!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    Any sentence that starts "you could make so much more money if you worked at..." Fill in the blank with any other location besides the one we are sitting in .
    Yeah we DO they come to our dumps, when OBVIOUSLY there are better (higher paid)girls elsewhere?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    Or the questions about "what happens" during private dances. There is really only one way to find out, or ask a more specific question ie; "can I touch during a lap dance?" etc.
    This is my pet hate! I always know that if I get called out of the peepshow to "talk" to a custie about a private dance what he REALLY wants to know is do I fuck/suck/jerk.

    Whereas if I can get a sale without answering the asshole, then I do a "basic"strip tease and have still made my money.

  16. #16
    Featured Member sexy_celeste's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    OH and the stupidest thing DONE in a strip? A custie came in totally tripping/drunk/whatever. Asked about sex. (We are a non contact club) Told me "Ill pay you $200 for sex" I refuse. He says "well Ill give you the money and you give me back what you think its worth" *winkwink*
    I thought Id get away with just doing an explicit toys show or something. I turn around to start my music. Turn back and hes passed out!
    Spend the rest of the strip time trying to wake him. He finally comes to, I try to give his money back "No No you keep it- that was the most awesome show Ive ever seen"
    Keeping in mind I didnt even UNDRESS, as he was unconsious! Obviously that guy had some AMAZING dreams when he was zonked!!
    He goes out, tells his 2 mates about the amazing $200 show that he got. They BOTH book shows (which I did explicit hardcore toys etc) and are thrilled!

    Easiest money I ever made, from an unconscious guy!

  17. #17
    Member hotSeraphina69's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    One guy talked about God far too much , it became creepy!-He was a good spender though.

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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    I like it when they ask what I do for a living. I thought it was obvious.

  19. #19
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    "Will you go home with me tonight?"

    Right. That's why we're all here, because we just cant get dates.

  20. #20
    Senior Member kittensgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    "so what is your objective?"
    my answer was why do you go to work?. I swear I saw a lightbulb over his head as his eyes lit up and came out with the correct answer "money"

    "What do you do in a lapdance?" Dance on your lap

    "What do you do when you finish here?" Home, sleep, back here.

    "are you allowed to leave here?" No, they chain us out the back when the club's closed

    "Can we have sex?" Even if you were in the right club you'd be looking at more than $20

    Seriously there are so many stupid questions I always wonder how they were smart enough to get the money to spend in the first place.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    "why don't you make a living using your brain instead of selling your body?"
    I didn't sell it, I still own it and use it every day. "Why can't we have sex (or make out, give head, etc). I promise you'll like it so much you will want to pay me." eww, like I want to do that with anyone, let alone a stranger who stinks like a mix of B.O. and stale beer and looks old enough to be my dad. "If you were my daughter,(or girlfriend, wife, sister, mother, etc), I wouldn't let you work here." Well, lets see you try to support all those relatives with that kind of money then.

  22. #22
    Senior Member forevernaked's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    "I want to take you to Cabo/Bahamas/Yugoslavia, free trip, and don't worry, I'll get you your own room..."

    "Does your boyfriend know you're a stripper?"

    "Would you like me to set my phone to vibrate?"

    and my favorite: "You must get a lot of wierdos in here." CAN I GET THIS GUY A MIRROR?

  23. #23
    Veteran Member Miss_Eliza's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    My girlfriend and I were talking about hair when a customer joined us. He joined in talking about how his bathroom is a jungle of wires attached to hair stuff he couldn't name.
    We told him he should pick her up this thing thats addes colour hightlights to your hair. It was on sale and close to Christmas. And the stupidest thing I ever heard came out of his mouth.
    " Will it make her a stripper? because I don't want her to be a stripper when she is all grown up"

    Yes that is what happened to all of us. We all got the wrong kind of curl\stright\crimping irons. You see ever so often they put magic stripper dust in hair produts to keep new girls joining our stripper club.

    Ok so you don't want your daughter to strip. But really like it has anything to do with what hair stuff she would be given.
    You say psycho like it's a bad thing

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    Quote Originally Posted by Crow
    My fav thing to do is when I walk up to them, smiling, bouncing, for obvious reasons and they wave me off before I even open my mouth.. My retort is.. " Well gosh, you just missed out on your free blow job. Now don't you feel stupid."

    Or when I ask a guy if he wants a dance and he says.. " I just ordered a beer." You dumb fuck, do I LOOK like a waitress? Christ.
    I just had the WORST nights ever in a row... and got insults from custys for the first time ever... this just got me out of my depression! LMAO!

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Stupid things custies say:

    I love this thread... this job is making me hate men even more ugh. Pretty much everything they say is beyond stupid. They are idiots who need to have all their money sucked out of them, then when they run out of cash they need to charge more or on their credit card and/or make a few trips to the ATM.

    Personally the most retarded thing they do is insult the girls... UM look at yourself honey... you are in no place to be telling that to some hot girl whom you can only dream of ever having. SLAP, PUNCH, KICK.... GRRRRRRRR.

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