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Thread: will stripping affect my relationship?

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    Member mary jayne's Avatar
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    Default will stripping affect my relationship?

    im 29 and have just decided to try dancing as a profession. i have discussed it all with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years and he seems to be totally ok with it and in fact, has been pretty supportive. however, i have no experience in the industry and wondered if anyone has been in a similair situation. do the guys attitudes change after you take the plunge? are there any clubs that allow your boyfriend to hang out while you work as long as they dont cause trouble?

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    there are a couple of things...

    he might get territorial, but something you might not have considered is his jealousy of the money. I think that bothers my SO the most. He doesn't care that I sit on guys' laps, but the fact that I make way more than he does in less time aggrevates him. So be careful when talking about your earnings.

    As for him in the club...BAD IDEA. No good can come from it. he's going to distract you at best and make trouble at worst.

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    Curious Guest
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    I am worried that it will cause problems in my relationship with my husband. He is all for it and says it's good money for the time you have to spend working. Maybe my concern it that he is not that jelouse at all. He does when I meet a old boyfriend... I have often commented to him that he is not jelouse over me at all. I, however, am very very jelouse over him....very green eyed as he says. I am still sitting on the fence on this stripping thing. We could really use the money.

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    Member mary jayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    actually i never thought about the money thing....definately something to consider. we all know men and their egos. (he he) thanks for the advice

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    Member mary jayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    omg, austin...u sound just like me. when i first brought it up, he was a little taken aback, but all in all took to the idea pretty well. i didnt know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult....lol. and yeah, we could really use the money. im honestly just hung up on the whole relationship issue and possibly running into someone i know. its not that id be ashamed, really, its just i dont want my bf's family to find out about it, theyd never look at me the same i dont think.

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    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    I'm going through this w/ my hubby right now. He's pissed off because I can make x amount in 2 days. When he goes to work all week and brings home less. He says I don't love him blah blah. When really he's pissed I'm making more $$. I've asked him if he wants me to stop working, but, he won't tell me to stop. Be cautious that you're not opening a can of worms w/this decision. It's put my relationship through hell at times. Lots of luck!
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    some girls fix the whole money imbalance issue by buying expensive gifts for their SOs...or supporting them outright! They get them addicted to the money too, which is the worst possible scenario, imo.

    They won't ask you to quit, probably because they know you won't. Plus they know why you do it. It's a hard position for a guy to be in. It takes a very strong man to be in a serious relationship with a dancer.

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    Member OZ_KYLE's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    ive dated a few, lol. we've all seen one of my ex's number 10 on the latest smoking gun arrests in florida. and it is NOT easy, im your typical alpha male, the money doesnt bother me, i think its great they can provide for themselves, but having men all over my woman is to much to bare, to be honest, i wouldnt even touch them or kiss them until they've taken a shower. and it ultimately killed our relationship.
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  9. #9
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    My bf loves that I dance. It makes me less stressed about money, and more confident about my body. It turns me on sexually, and he reaps the benefits of that. And when he occasionally comes in to watch me dance, he gets off on watching me tease all those other guys. He likes that all those guys want me, but I'm only interested in *HIM* - big boost for his ego!

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    (same age as you)

    i know my husband likes my 'ex-stripper' status. he would not be cool with me being touched by any guy now. <<<<him

    he would be the first to want to watch me get my tits out in public... but not for grubby mits to be on me.

    make sure you know, and communicate, exactly what your boundaries are and find out what, if anything, freaks him out about it. does he think that it means he can skip off round the clubs while you're working? does the touching thing bug him?

    as for the money thing - i asked husband and he said he would go, 'woo hoo - now YOU can keep ME!!'

    the whole thing will depend on the maturity and security of this guy.
    Last edited by Nautilus; 02-06-2006 at 09:09 PM.

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    Member mary jayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    thank you so much. you guys have seriously been helpful and i truly appreciate it. its given me a lot to think about and is pointing me in the right direction. my bf and i are really close and i think things will be alright. at least this way we can discuss this all before-hand and maybe it wont be such an "issue" when it does actually come up. (no pun intended) i am so glad i found this site!! you guys are great!

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    Member mary jayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    i expected him honestly to say "no way! youre not going to do THAT for a living" or something along those lines, but he actually seems to be just as excited about it as i am. the only reservations he has are about the v.i.p. room situation, but he acknowledges the fact that he trusts me and he realizes i would never do anything to jeapordize our relationship. so, that would pretty much be his main qualm and seeing as he'll be coming with me to pick out an establishment he probably wouldnt let me work anywhere he wasnt comfortable. (i would hope anyway)

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    1. YES their attitudes always change once you start dancing. I've never heard of any stripper who kept LONG-TERM the same bf she had when she started dancing.

    2. YES it always affects your relationships. Either in the way others see you or in the way you see others, or both. It definitely changes things, makes relationships harder.

    3. DON'T BRING YOUR BOYFRIEND / HUSBAND TO HANG OUT AT THE CLUB WHILE YOU'RE WORKING!!!!! If you think the simple knowledge of you stripping might be hard for him, just WAIT til he sees you giving some disgusting gropy jerkoff a lapdance. Clubs have a universal rule of NO BFs or HUSBANDS for a reason. A really good reason.

    3.5 - DON'T LISTEN TO OTHER GIRLS TELLING YOU HOW THEIR BFs HANG AT THE CLUB AND IT'S ALL GOOD. That's like saying smoking can't be bad for your health because I know my ex-bf's friend's girlfriend's grandma smoked for 60 years and never had any health problems. Yeah, maybe 1 in 100,000 get away with it, but that doesn't mean you will.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    I've posted about this before, possibly too much--but listen to the women that warn you, they are right. The only way I could handle it at all was becasue I work in the industry myself, but I still had some trouble with it.

    And even that was hard, when for a while I wasn't working in the industry and she was. I hated waiting around at home for her to come back late, smelling of other men. It wasn't so much that or the lap dancing, though (hell I even saw her and another one doing it in a club that was set up that way--if I was in the right mood it was actually funny).

    What got me more than anything was the managers and bouncers and DJs grabbing her ass and even her pussy, humping her leg, etc., on a near nightly basis. It meant nothing to her but I couldn't handle it very well, and it ultimately killed the relationship. That and the fact that I was basically one of those kept men, though certainly not entirely by choice (it's a long story, never mind, lol).

    Now if I were to get serious (not likely) it would almost certainly have to be with a dancer, since few women could handle the kind of attention I get on a nightly basis, lol. But it would be with a dancer from another club.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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    Veteran Member Smoothcat's Avatar
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    Lightbulb Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    This is not something I have personal experience with, but I got to thinking: if it's the money, isn't this also happening in the "regular" (non SC) world? Many women who are getting degrees (now more than males) are now earning more $$$ than their SO. So that would be an interesting comparison if anyone has stories about that. Also, does a white collar college educated guy become more tolerant of a stripping wife or gf than a blue-collar guy?

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    Veteran Member Feiticeira's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    I think that as long as your SO is secure with himself, your relationship, and you're both honest, it shouldn't affect anything very much.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    True enough, but I have very rarely seen any relationship last long after the female starts stripping--but maybe it's the area I am in. It's a real acid test, lol...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Veteran Member Feiticeira's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    Maybe the fact that I was a stripper before I met my hubby helped. His friends keep asking him if he's going to ask me/make me stop dancing, and he says "Why should I?That's who she was when I met her andI love her as a person"

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    Veteran Member dancinslifoxxx17's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    My hubby is in the biz(DJ). We've been together a total of 5 yrs. And, totally devoted to one another. So, long terms can work. It's trust baby.
    It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    They can, do, and will last--sometimes--if the woman was already a dancer, and especially if the guy is also in the business (preferably in another club). this I have seen work, and lots of members here will testify to it.

    It really is about trust, but like I say, it's a real acid test--especially for the newbie dancers and their Bfriends.

    Later--Please pardon my cynicism; from my observation, most relationships (in or out of the business) are doomed anyway, lol--but again maybe it's the area I'm in. My respect and congratulations to anyone who can pull it off.
    Last edited by Djoser; 02-07-2006 at 11:09 AM.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Member mary jayne's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    thanks again to every that have put their 2 cents in. i will definately consider everything that you guys have told me. geez, its alot to think about, but its nice to get both sides of the story.
    he and i are still discussing it at length and we have yet to go out to any clubs to check them out in my area. (there arent alot of them, unfortunately) ive let him read the comments on here and he says he can definately see both points of `view. i guess we'll just have to take what comes as it happens.

    ewwww....djoser, i never thought about the people working at the club groping me. i always thought that the bouncers, dj's, etc would act in a more professional manner. of course, i guess it has alot to do with which club youre in and what the people are like in that particular place. im pretty sure he wouldnt appreciate them doing those things to me, either. yet ANOTHER senario i didnt even imagine!!! but, thank you THANK YOU for the male opinion on this subject. (of course i appreciate the girls, too) but "guy philosophy" on the whole relationship situation is definately enlightening as well.

    ill stop boring you guys with my rambling, though, youve all been very helpful. thanks a bunch!

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    ^^^My two cents on staff groping: I've seen the male staff where I work get handsy with some of the girls, and the way they talk is also very sexually charged, but they never go there with me. I think it's because I'm very quiet and reserved when not actually dancing...if you're a shy, non-touchy person in 'real life', when you're not with a customer you'll still be that person, and the staff will sense that (at least in my experience)...

    kinda like my friends never hug me much- I just give off that 'not a toucher' vibe...I think we are social creatures who give off non-verbal signals as to what our comfort levels with physical contact are, and other people unconsciously pick up on that (of course, I have to consciously shake that aloofness off around customers, but hey, we're actors at work, and it's not that difficult).

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    Member OZ_KYLE's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser
    I've posted about this before, possibly too much--but listen to the women that warn you, they are right. The only way I could handle it at all was becasue I work in the industry myself, but I still had some trouble with it.
    .
    ive worked in the industry a long time too and i had great difficulty with it. the 2 entertainers i dated were great girls but this industry will kill your relationship. believe that. it takes a very unique individual to be able to coope with an entertainer as a significant other.
    OZGENTLEMENSCLUB.COM Of Clearwater Florida

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    Member OZ_KYLE's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    staff groping? it happens. i dont do it, but it is the nature of the beast. your in a sexualy driven work environment. it's going to happen ALOT>
    OZGENTLEMENSCLUB.COM Of Clearwater Florida

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: will stripping affect my relationship?

    It does vary from club to club considerably--the male staff groping, that is. I have always despised it, but it sometimes happens.

    In this woman's defense, I was a total and complete idiot, and allowed a dancer to grope me, right in front of her. It happened so fast, I didn't even have time to think about it--and I'd never paid much mind to it, especially since the women who do the groping are almost invariably ones I'd never ever sleep with. Probably the same thing she was thinking when they groped her--which is what she tried to tell me.

    Obviously I didn't handle it well, in her case or mine.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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