Bad Idea:

Originally Posted by
SA-80
I don't like helping ppl that much, but here it's obvious, gldgirl96, you are doing exactly what looser and incofident men are doing when they can't get a woman: they try harder.
That doesn't work with women at all, it works with some success with men, i guess.
What you should do is what smart men do: she pulls back, you pull back even farther immediately -> She gets sucked into a vacuum through a fear of rejection, lonelyness or whatever.
She turns around and walks away 1 step, you turn the other way and walk away 3+ steps. She doesn't answer e-mails, you don't write and don't call her immediately, etc.
Same will work the other way around I'm sure. This communicates noneedyness and confidence. We, men, we learn that while growing up, I guess women usually don't get rejected that much in the beginning and that sets a wrong frame for them later on. Anyway.
This "player" nonsense might have some value when pursueing a relationship to spark interest, but is a recipe for disaster once well into one. Do this if you want to break up. If you don't, you can anticipate constant passive aggressive game playing and misery until you do break up.
Here's a quote from another board on how someone else actually fixed this problem:
My wife and i have been married for more than 13 years. At the beginning of our relationship we had a somewhat active, but not adventurous sex life. We did not discuss sex, we just did it. Looking back, we had no idea what each other really thought about sex. What we liked, what we didn't like, what went through our heads. After a few years, sex all but disappeared from our relationship. When it did happen, it was more work than it was worth. It was easier to "take care of yourself".
But, within the last year we have had a rebirth of our sex life. My wife had come to a revelation on her own that it's OK to talk about sex and it's OK to live out some of your fantasies. In fact, it's OK to have fantasies in the first place.
We have since had many discussions about what we fantasize about, what we want to try and what is out there to explore. I have learned more about my wife and she about me in this last year than in the 15 years I have known her. She shares her fantasies of being with other women and imagines watching me with other women. She tells me about how she imagines watching several people having sex in every way imaginable. I tell her about my fantasies of being in various situations with her (like at a restaurant where I can see up her skirt from across the room and then take her outside where we can get each other off). I tell her how I can imagine her and one of her fantasy girlfriends going down on me.
We don't only share fantasies, we now watch porn together and will talk about what we like. We also try different things that we have never done before. Like anal sex, masturbation in front of (and on) each other, talking dirty ("fuck me now"). She even likes to look at porn magazines.
The only regret I have is that we didn't communicate with each other this way from the beginning. It has brought us much closer together in all aspects of our lives, not just in bed. I have never felt this close to someone and we are comforted in knowing that we can share our most intimate thoughts with each other.
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