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  1. #1
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default sad

    i'm going to apologize for any misspelled words now, i'm miserable and not in any mood to give a damn about my spelling. Sorry everyone!

    my dog is being put to sleep tomorrow. oh god, just writing that hurts so much. She is my dog but she lives at my grandparents house, and when i got my own place i decided to let her still live at my grandparents b/c she happy there and i didnt' want to disrupt that.

    well i guess 3-4 months ago she had a stroke. And this morning, she had one before my grandma came to meet me for lunch. I was going to go up there to see everyone and see my dog and since the roads were bad, we changed plans and she met me halfway instead. And while she was gone, Misty(my dog) had 2-3 more strokes.

    She's now blind, scared and her entire backside is paralyzed. She had to be locked up in her doghouse for the first time ever because she kept walking into things and hurting herself even more.

    i thought i was done crying. I've cried for the last hour and been debating whether to go and say goodbye or stay at home and keep my memories of her being happy and healthy. I don't want to see her in pain. I don't want to have to say goodbye to her at all...i guess that's me being selfish. She's around 10 years old or so. And it's dumb, but i never thought that she'd die before me. I know that seems crazy, but i honestly never thought i'd outlive her.

    i had my boyfriend leave the house because he was just upsetting me. When my grandma called to tell me the news, i started to cry and my boyfriend told me "it's just a dog"

    i don't really know why i wrote this. I guess i just needed to vent. I won't be drinking tonight, i'm tempted to, but since i'm alone and sad...i don't think it'd be smart to just get drunk.

    my grandma told me to not come up tomorrow. She said it would be harder on my grandpa if was there since we'd both be crying and since my dog would be even more scared/confused since she could smell me and hear me but not see me. But i guess i just feel so fuckin guilty. I should've been there for her! Instead while she was scared and hurting, i was out laughing and having lunch!

    do i go and say goodbye in person, or should i take my families advice and stay home and remember her being healthy and happy?
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

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  2. #2
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    I'm sorry.

    Go say goodbye to her. I don't think you'll forgive yourself if you don't.

    Take care of yourself.
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    OMG,I am SO SORRY!!!!!!!! I know how it feels to lose a beloved pet.I wish I was there to give you a big hug right now.I am so sorry!!!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

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  4. #4
    Pamela
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    Default Re: sad

    I may be a tad morbid for some it seems. But i had my share of all types of animals put down due to a sickness, old age or unable to control.

    I stayed every time with they put the animal down. It feels sad, but good after!

    I know it hurts.

    Pamela

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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    Oh I'm so sorry you doggie is going to be put to sleep. My girl is 11 and I start crying just thinking about when her time will come. I'd say go with her when she goes just so you can be with her one last time and you might help her be more relaxed knowing you are there.

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    Veteran Member Feiticeira's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    I know how you feel Hannah, my dog I grew up had to be put to sleep suddenly last weekend ::sob::: It was a sudden heart condition

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    Featured Member Paintbaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    Go, and let her know that she was loved.

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    i am tearing up reading this and my dog died 16 years ago. (geez).

    i would go no matter what. it's very therapeutic for you to be there. it's always worse when you don't get to say goodbye.

    your bf is a callous brute!!

    give her a big smooch and be prepared to cry for a few years. (or is that just me???)

  9. #9
    Featured Member DSUsb19's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    I'm so sorry for your loss Hannah. Go and see her. We all say animals are like a family memeber, and you wouldn't be able (or at least I wouldn't) to live yourself if it was a human family member in that condition. Go and give her your love.
    *~If you play with reservation, you never play to your full potential.~*

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  10. #10
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    Default Re: sad

    When I worked at the vet's, this was as you can imagine the hardest job. It is so sad, but ultimately we all know when it's our time- animals included. I'm so sorry for your loss- pets are part of the family. It's perfectly normal to mourn their loss.

    If I were you, I would go to say goodbye. I don't think your presence would confuse your dog...when in illness and distress they find the most comfort in the presence of loved ones. I think they know when you're there, and it will bring you both more peace to have a meaningful goodbye.

    Best of luck. Again, I'm sorry for your loss.

  11. #11
    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    When my dog died, I felt like shit for three days. Didn't bother doing anything. Not even shower. It still makes me sad and that was some ten years ago. Someday I will get another one.

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    Default Re: sad

    Hannah- I'm sorry to hear that. I know exactly how you're feeling- I had to put my childhood dog (who was 15) to sleep in late 2004.

    She was having strokes, too. It was so hard at the end of her life...she couldn't stand up and was almost totally out of it.

    My only advice is to make sure to say goodbye- I was with Sam until the end, and I'm glad I was able to see her off to the rainbow bridge.

    **Hugs**

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    Oh, hon, I am so sorry for you . But you are doing the right thing instead of allowing her to continue to suffer. F*ck your boyfriend. That dog is more like a family member to you than a dog. I know how you feel. You get to feeling like they are really your babies and you're their mama. It's really hard to lose an animal like that, especially to have to watch it suffer. I will pray that God will comfort and ease you pain. I am sorry for you once again hon. If you need to chat I am here.

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    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    Quote Originally Posted by Paintbaby
    Go, and let her know that she was loved.
    Exactly. You should definitely be there. And cry your eyes out, you'll feel better for it.
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    Oh damn this is making me think of my kitty I lost a few years back...

    Try to be strong and go see her. My cat jumped out of the car and wouldn't come back from this field. She was a very timid but sweet kitty. I kept going back every day, putting out food and calling her. Once someone saw her (I gave them a picture) and i went but no kitty.

    I would give anything to have at least been able to say goodbye. She was very old, too--and they say they know sometimes.

    If it was you, wouldn't you want her to be there? maybe you will cry enough now, before, so you can hold off until you go outside after...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    Hannah, I am so sorry you are going through this. Your post made me teary; I know how painful it is to lose a pet.

    A few years ago, my childhood dog developed an autoimmune disease where his immune system was destroying his own red blood cells. There was nothing we could do.. and after a few days we had to put him down because his body was beginning to shut down. He was MY dog... slept with me every night, followed me around everywhere I went... my buddy.

    I didn't go when they put him down. I didn't think I could face it. I was completely torn up over the whole thing.

    And I regret it. I can't imagine how hard it would have been to be there, but it was harder to think afterwards that I had let him go without scratching his ears and being there with him one last time (ok, I'm really crying now, thinking about it.) My advice: go, comfort her, tell her you love her, and say goodbye. It will be hard, no doubt, but you'll be glad that you did in the long run. Trust me.

    Again, I am very sorry

  17. #17
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    thanks everyone for the advice. i'm feeling a little better this morning. I was so out of it last nite, I haven't cried that hard in a long time. Actually come to think of it, I haven't ever cried that hard for anything.

    She is like my best friend, and i want to be there for her. I have to call my grandpa though in a few minutes and see what is going on. I am in no condition to drive, and i know this. I guess i keep holding out this hope that when i call my grandpa, my dog will have recovered during the night.


    i have to find a way to be there. I'll always regret the fact that i never came up as much as i should have in this past year. Everytime i would see her, she would cry and act angry at me. hehe...i remember that. She would ignore me for about 2 minutes, and then she would jump all over me, giving me kisses and whining. It was her way of telling me she was pissed at me but that she loved me. She was always there for me, so it's only right that I'm there for her.

    Today is going to be really hard for me. I couldn't sleep at all last nite, I kept looking at pictures i have of me and her...i wish there were more

    Thanks for everyone's support. I really appreciate it
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

    End violence against women.
    I support Dottie.


  18. #18
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    i just got off the phone with my grandma, and Misty passed away last nite. There was evidence that she had at least 2 more strokes during the night.

    I know that this is supposed to make me feel better, knowing that she passed during her sleep...but it didn't help at all. I wish i was there for her, but i know in my heart she knows how much i love her.

    I went to sleep around 2am and woke up around 3:15 or so. I couldn't sleep after that, and when i talked to my grandma they said she passed between 2-4am because they were checking on her. It may be just coincidence, but it makes me feel better to think that although i wasn't there in person, in spirit we were together. Does that make sense?
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

    End violence against women.
    I support Dottie.


  19. #19
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    I havn't read any of the replies just your OP. Has your boyfriend ever had or currently has any animals in his life? It is just that usually animal owners/lovers would never say "it's just a dog". OMG! How f-ing rude of him. How inconsiderate of him!

    You are far from being selfish. Whilst grief is a selfish emotion it is healthy. Grieve.

    Realise that she was more than "just a dog".

    I am not aware of your spiritual beliefs and if you feel that animals have souls. If you do feel that your dog does have a soul, say a prayer for your dog. A simple ritual is to have a photo of the dog, esp one where it is looking at you in the photo. Light a white candle and pray. Pray that your God will show your dog the way to heaven.

    You may want to also visit a few pet grief sites that were of assistance to me when a particular cat in my life was killed.

    You will find the link to the sites @ http://wpsg.tripod.com/smokey.html

    You could possibly do the same thing as I found created a page "in memory" of my cat was very healing. I could visit it and mourn her.... as well as remember her life.


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  20. #20
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    i don't know if my boyfriend ever had a pet he was close to. I know that his mom had cats, but that he never liked them that much. He did later apologize about saying that. He realized that it hurt me.

    i plan on spending time today writing a letter to my aunt, we don't really talk that often since she disowned me b/c of the dancing. But i just want to let her know that i'm here for her if she needs to talk. And then i'm going to sit down and write about everything and anything i remember of Misty.

    I plan on making a memorial of her in the corner lot of my house, and another one at my grandma's house. Since me and her used to lay around alot in the summer, i thought it'd be nice to have a place where i could feel close to her.
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

    End violence against women.
    I support Dottie.


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    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    Oh God I'm sooo sorry Hannah! I can't stop crying right now Misty was the name of my first dog. She too passed in her sleep and I wasn't there. It's OK, they know how much we love them! I like to belive there's a doggy heaven, that the animals we've lost are all up there in their healthy, youthful form playing together. Lot's of love sweetie!

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    I know you are sad now, and always will be when you think of her--like I am now about my cat after years--but she quite obviously had a good life and a caring owner.

    She was a very happy dog, with you. That is a good thing.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Veteran Member Alpha_Male's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    I know exactly what you're going through. So far in my 27yrs, I've had to see 4 of my family's dogs put to sleep. One was real heartbreaking because she was only 6, but developed real bad liver problems and wasnt going to make it. I was only present at the vet for one of them, and it was ALOT harder than the other 3 actually being there and seeing your dog being put to sleep. Its something every pet owner has to realize, you're only going to be together for basically a given period of time and eventually you're going to have to say goodbye.
    I've never not had at least 2 dogs around. Everytime one pass away, we usually get a new dog within a month. Getting a new puppy definitely makes grieving alot easier.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    We had one dog, and so many cats when I was younger, and I still remember what I felt like when we lost one, whether to disease, dissapearance, getting hit in the street, or having to be put down. The last cat I lost (disapearance) was about ten years ago and it probably bugs me the most probably because she was incredibly well house trained and I never found out what had happened to her.

    As much as I've wanted to get another cat, I haven't just because (aside from my landlord's no pets policy) I can't bear dealing with losing them, which one way or another is inevitable. In many ways losing a pet can be every bit as hard as losing a human loved one, esspecially when you've had them for so long.

    I'm sorry this happened Hannah, but take comfort in knowing that she's at peace now. Give yourself some time to grieve, and when you're ready, go down to the animal shelter and get a new puppy. I promise you that it will be theraputic.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  25. #25
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: sad

    i think it'll be a while before i even think of getting another pet. I just can't imagine getting attached to another pet. not so soon at least
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

    End violence against women.
    I support Dottie.


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