i'm going to apologize for any misspelled words now, i'm miserable and not in any mood to give a damn about my spelling. Sorry everyone!
my dog is being put to sleep tomorrow. oh god, just writing that hurts so much. She is my dog but she lives at my grandparents house, and when i got my own place i decided to let her still live at my grandparents b/c she happy there and i didnt' want to disrupt that.
well i guess 3-4 months ago she had a stroke. And this morning, she had one before my grandma came to meet me for lunch. I was going to go up there to see everyone and see my dog and since the roads were bad, we changed plans and she met me halfway instead. And while she was gone, Misty(my dog) had 2-3 more strokes.
She's now blind, scared and her entire backside is paralyzed. She had to be locked up in her doghouse for the first time ever because she kept walking into things and hurting herself even more.
i thought i was done crying. I've cried for the last hour and been debating whether to go and say goodbye or stay at home and keep my memories of her being happy and healthy. I don't want to see her in pain. I don't want to have to say goodbye to her at all...i guess that's me being selfish. She's around 10 years old or so. And it's dumb, but i never thought that she'd die before me. I know that seems crazy, but i honestly never thought i'd outlive her.
i had my boyfriend leave the house because he was just upsetting me. When my grandma called to tell me the news, i started to cry and my boyfriend told me "it's just a dog"![]()
i don't really know why i wrote this. I guess i just needed to vent. I won't be drinking tonight, i'm tempted to, but since i'm alone and sad...i don't think it'd be smart to just get drunk.
my grandma told me to not come up tomorrow. She said it would be harder on my grandpa if was there since we'd both be crying and since my dog would be even more scared/confused since she could smell me and hear me but not see me. But i guess i just feel so fuckin guilty. I should've been there for her! Instead while she was scared and hurting, i was out laughing and having lunch!
do i go and say goodbye in person, or should i take my families advice and stay home and remember her being healthy and happy?



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That dog is more like a family member to you than a dog. I know how you feel. You get to feeling like they are really your babies and you're their mama. It's really hard to lose an animal like that, especially to have to watch it suffer. I will pray that God will comfort and ease you pain. I am sorry for you once again hon. If you need to chat I am here.


Lot's of love sweetie! 

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