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Thread: Djoser does a wedding

  1. #1
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: New to stripperweb.com

    This started as a reply to DJPhear's thread, but it needed to be split, so here you go...

    DJPhear, how could you stand to do those weddings?!

    The guy who got me started way back doing Spring Break work tried to convince me to work with him doing them.

    After twice going with him to check it out and theoretically get trained a bit, I wanted to vomit, lol...

    Then a few weeks ago I went ahead and did one as a favor to a friend who works in the bar next door--I had agreed 6 months ago only under the condition that there would be no tacky shit, no Grandma doing the Funky Chicken, etc.

    Well, that was a mistake. It was horrible. The groom wanted Rancid and Social Distortion, the bride wanted Frank Sinatra, the guests wanted every tacky song from every bad genre in the last thirty years, the wedding planner was a total bitch, etc., etc.

    At least the wedding planner backed off after a few snarls from me, and the reminder that I would be doing this for free if necessary and I just wanted to do the job (meaning back the fuck off, bitch), and my walking away from the mike entirely when she started snippily reminding me that the "tables to the buffet" schedule was 20 minutes behind.

    She took care of the tables thing, I wound up going outside to smoke cigarettes for a bit.

    The bride was actually very apologetic, she knew it wasn't what I agreed to, and insisted on paying me, even if I was admittedly a rotten wedding DJ, lol...

    The highlight of the night was when this guy with a shaved and tattoed head, sunglasses (at 9 PM), and a gigantic spike through his lower lip took over for a while, and started singing on the mike. I went outside again and let him. He was actually pretty cool, though, and I came back in when he played Type O Negative--we wound up having a little fun then, for about 5-10 minutes maybe. then he left to go talk to the hot girl that was drooling all over him, and I was stuck with the rednecks and the DJ from Boston who kept asking for C & C Music factory.

    I lied and said I didn't have it, even though it's on one of my compilation CDs somewhere.

    The drunk guys and the cute kids finally started dancing when I stopped playing the groom's music and busted out the Notorious Big. But it was embarassing to watch them, and then the hotel security guard started freaking out when someone requested Snoop Dogg, and "Bitch, come suck my dick!", or whatever started blaring out of the speakers. Fortunately the kiddies had left at that point, and it was the last song I played.

    But I was never so glad to wrap up a gig in my life, and I've had some bad ones.
    Last edited by Djoser; 02-16-2006 at 12:32 PM.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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  2. #2
    Member CrazySassyCassy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Weddings suck. I have vowed to attend as few as possible in my lifetime, and always avoid participating in them....
    Now that we're here, it's so far away
    All the struggle we thought was in vain
    And all the mistakes, one life contained
    They all finally start to go away
    And now that we're here, it's so far away
    And I feel like I can face the day
    I can forgive
    And I'm not ashamed to be
    The Person that I am today
    ~Staind

  3. #3
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by CrazySassyCassy
    Weddings suck. I have vowed to attend as few as possible in my lifetime, and always avoid participating in them....
    A wise decision. They are rendered even more absurd when you consider that all that Most Important Day of My Life shit is going to turn into a colossal joke in 6 months to 5 years, when they are screaming at each other in divorce court.

    How many marriages really last anymore? That's not a good bet to make. Even the ones that last are generally boring and lifeless--they both get fat, ignore each other at breakfast, live in a plastic suburban house in a giant, treeless housing development--well, I'll stop now, lol...

    But one thing's for sure, I'll never do a wedding again!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Member DJPhear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Weddings can be loads of fun... or completely suck ass.... How I did them sometimes myself is WAY beyond me. I can relate to your experience though... I've ran into SO MANY bridezillas that I nearly vomit thinking about it... The absolute hardest thing about weddings is "making everyone happy" I have a formula that I'd be more than happy to share with someone who's looking to do one (or more as in your case, Djoser) But I won't waste my time typing out the mechanics of it here. It's not as easy as it seems, that's for sure. You can't blame a shiatty set of songs on the dancer (not that I'd *EVER* do that! lol)

    You say you'll never do a wedding again... but when I owned my own DJ company, I was banking $1,200 for 4 hours of work. Easy sleasy money.

  5. #5
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by DJPhear
    You say you'll never do a wedding again... but when I owned my own DJ company, I was banking $1,200 for 4 hours of work. Easy sleasy money.
    I won't do it for any amount of money, but it's hard to argue with someone else liking the fact that they were banking like that! My friend did do pretty well with them, too--but he got sick of it and now runs a limo service instead...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    I've done a couple of weddings in my time, my own included, and it's my opinion that they suck. Wedding dj's need more patience than we do that's for damn sure, and I thought having a bunch of drunk ragging bitchy woman was hard,lol
    John Q. Public is the hardest person in the world to please, be it at a bar or a wedding.....gimme my strippers anyday!

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    Member DJPhear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by Blade
    John Q. Public is the hardest person in the world to please, be it at a bar or a wedding.....gimme my strippers anyday!
    ...and besides that, no girl is going to take her top off with mom and grandma right there.... as hard has i'd tried to get them to do it anyway. Now that i think about it, I think becoming a stripclub DJ has been my destiny all along!

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    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    I got suckered into doing my father-in-law's wedding. His...4th I believe. Worst. Experience. EVER. I drank a bottle of Absolut and wandered out front and passed out on some steps towards the end of the evening. Good times.
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

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    Member DJPhear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by MrChristopher
    I got suckered into doing my father-in-law's wedding. His...4th I believe. Worst. Experience. EVER. I drank a bottle of Absolut and wandered out front and passed out on some steps towards the end of the evening. Good times.
    I bursted out laughing so loud while reading your post my wife asked me WTF was so funny.... she'll never understand. I've wanted to end a wedding show SO MANY times that way.

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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    No DJs for us; we had a friend's band play and they did just dandy. Also, Robyn Hitchcock sang "Waterloo Sunset" at the reception. Having your wedding during SXSW is good. Then we had a rock party with six bands at a club a couple of days later. Will be doing the same for the first anniversary next month.

    However, I would love to have Mr. Christopher DJ an event for me.

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward
    No DJs for us; we had a friend's band play and they did just dandy. Also, Robyn Hitchcock sang "Waterloo Sunset" at the reception. Having your wedding during SXSW is good. Then we had a rock party with six bands at a club a couple of days later. Will be doing the same for the first anniversary next month.

    However, I would love to have Mr. Christopher DJ an event for me.
    Yeah I would love to have Chris spin some shit for me at a party
    Djoser as well...and if Chris does a party for me ya know our boy MidKnight has to be there(what good is a party without the pro-rassler/dj from hell?)
    My only problem with having one of these guys dj for me is giving up control of the cd player and mic long enough to enjoy myself,lol

  12. #12
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Hah, Blade, that is funny--but one kind of event in which I have had a lot of fun sharing the limelight with other DJs was Spring Break. My friend and I both had mikes, knew each other well, and developed a great routine. We could also spot each other when the stress got to be a bit much now and then.

    I am now seriously considering doing Spring Break again on a local pooldeck, one of the few types of DJ gigs I would consider doing for anyone at all, outside a stripclub. I can imagine the fun we could have with that, and it's quite a thrill to have as many as 2,000 people in the palm of your hand, chanting what you want them to, cheering madly at your slightest suggestion, etc. But they tend to be too drunk on some pooldecks.

    This will be a bit tamer, it's more of a conservative hotel. No Wet T-shirt contests, just bikini. Probably not 2,000 people, either--the glory years for Spring Break are over.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Member DJPhear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by Blade
    My only problem with having one of these guys dj for me is giving up control of the cd player and mic long enough to enjoy myself,lol
    That's the problem I have with going anywhere that another DJ is working... All I can think of is "I would play this next, then this..." I have been good as I've gone to other stripclubs in the area. Problem is I go there to listen to them work and get pointers, and I can't understand them.

    I was at one club for 4 hours and didn't know the name of a single girl the whole night unless I asked her for her name. The DJ was completely unintelligible.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by DJPhear
    Problem is I go there to listen to them work and get pointers, and I can't understand them.

    I was at one club for 4 hours and didn't know the name of a single girl the whole night unless I asked her for her name. The DJ was completely unintelligible.
    This is quite common, though I suspect rare indeed amongst the DJs here on SW.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by DJPhear
    That's the problem I have with going anywhere that another DJ is working... All I can think of is "I would play this next, then this..." I have been good as I've gone to other stripclubs in the area. Problem is I go there to listen to them work and get pointers, and I can't understand them.

    I was at one club for 4 hours and didn't know the name of a single girl the whole night unless I asked her for her name. The DJ was completely unintelligible.
    LMAO...far too common an occurence. I was in a pretty high end club out here, and was listening to the dj do his schtick, and all I could think was dude took way too many downers and then tried to talk with marbles in his mouth.
    I recently lost a freakin gig to a guy who had no energy, you couldn't understand him for shit, and he looked like a total flamer with a mic in his hands...while you could understand me, I looked the part, and considering there were 3 custies in the joint was fairly energetic. The girls loved me but, the owner promised this dork the job...5 weeks later he's gone(go figure)

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Maybe he's out mowing lawns, now, lol...

    It seems to be a rrequirement in many clubs that you have the smooth schtick routine down, and not at all important that anyone can understand what the hell you are saying. I'm still undecided as to which I dislike more, that or the nasal whiny style.

    hey, Blade, ever think of trying Spring Break work--you'd be great, I think!

    Though it's a long drive here, lol...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Djoser does a wedding

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser
    Maybe he's out mowing lawns, now, lol...

    It seems to be a rrequirement in many clubs that you have the smooth schtick routine down, and not at all important that anyone can understand what the hell you are saying. I'm still undecided as to which I dislike more, that or the nasal whiny style.

    hey, Blade, ever think of trying Spring Break work--you'd be great, I think!

    Though it's a long drive here, lol...
    I already mentioned to Dea how much fun you and I could have, lol
    She of course won't gimme the keys to the car....
    somethin about kids and responsibilitiezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz z
    oops sorry dozed off there for a moment

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