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Thread: A Question......

  1. #1
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default A Question......

    How the hell do you keep a purely physical/sexual relationship just that ??

    I'm asking as I recently dropped The Fireman as I (stupidly) grew feelings for the prick. It was from the get-go all about the sex for him. Unfortunately, whilst it started out the same for me... I got to know him more... and started to fancy him. I told him via text message last night (that I fancy him and want to pursue something more than just a 'love affair') and due to his no response realise it is over and was purely sexual with him.

    (I listened to his actions: he never called only ever text messaged me, whenever I came over it was always about sex, we never went on a second date, etc. etc. Basically, I was okay with it being a physical relationship at the start... then .. well.. got to know him a little more.. and well.. yeh.. I got burned)


    I know there are women out there that can and do have purely physical relationships with other people.... how the hell do you do this without starting to 'fancy' the person ??

    Also, has anyone started in a purely physical relationship to have it turn into something else ..... or is that doomed from the out-set due to the girl 'giving herself away' too easily ?

    Thoughts, stories, etc.


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  2. #2
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    the only way i could manage to 'keep it physical' was to have a few young boyfriends at once.

    that way they annoyed me so much with their hijinks i could only stand to keep them around for sex.

    besides - they had that whole, 'i'm young and eager to please' thing.

    they were the ones who were all, 'i'll falling for you' (whimper whimper) -- which is a good time to kick them off the island.

    do it the angelina way (minus the Brad and pregnancy).

    i figure for you, if fireman is the boning champion, then it's only natural for you to want to keep him around.

    my 'relationships' that were purely physical died in the ass after a few years. especially if a guy can't hold a conversation. (when he's watching hours of football on the weekend, a 5 at golf). still, that was a few years of gettin' it awwwwwwn -- wouldn't trade.

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    Veteran Member Feiticeira's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    I could never do it.Tried a few times, always fell for them or vice versa.

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    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    I agree w/Nautilus - the purely physical relationships I was in were only when I pined for another. Looking back on it, they were my most successful relationships to date.

    I did have a good two year relationship which started out purely sexual then grew into something more. Looking back on it, we never spoke about the relationship - it just developed on it's own.

    Guys don't like to talk about relationships or where they're going - they just want to be in one but not think about it.

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    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    the problem with the saucy 'sex-only' ex's is that they're the ones more likely to be on your drunk-dial speed list...

    so you'll SAY you won't go back there.... but you always doooo... (at least once, or twice)

    {and yes, blowing him in the gym still counts as going back}

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    As far as I can tell, it's just not possible. If you DONT develop feelings for him, then he'll develop them for you... It's probably more rare than being "just friends".
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: A Question......

    Maybe a swingers club I am sure you would fit into a three way quite well .

  8. #8
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    I fucked up then didn't I by admitting my feelings for him? I'm wondering if I should've just kept them to myself instead of admitting them to him. Regardless, it is definately over between us. *sigh*

    I'm not going to be in a rush to get into a physical relationship aka "love affair" any time soon. I really do want something more. Shame he did not.

    Next...................


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    Featured Member venusofwillendorf's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    my relationship with my current bf started out as a sex thing. we've been together for 2 (is it 3?) years now, and it's definately not just physical.

    i've had a few purely physical relationships that never went farther.... reason was, the guys were assholes. i cut them off after a while because they weren't worth the trouble. so i definately do not reccommend going that route.

    i think the only way to make it work is to already be fulfilled emotionally, say, by another person for example, or just completely not mesh with the fuck-buddy on a more than physical level. he doesn't necessarily have to be an asshole- you could just have nothing in common, etc.
    be the change you wish to see in the world....
    ~ghandi

    i really love your peaches wanna shake your tree....
    ~steve miller

    why not?
    ~anon

  10. #10
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: A Question......

    See him less and see someone else sometimes. Taper off his part in your life. If he comes around, it's meant to be. If not, time to move on.

    Everyone is in your life for a reason and a season- women oversentimentalize everything, it's our Nature. Put him in perspective and move on...

  11. #11
    Member SA-80's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    Very simple: Keep yourself entertained with other things. Like have a life, practice some really lucrative hobbies that just make you special in your own eyes and that fulfil your other dream and entertain you.

    I'm a guy and I can't possibly know what does it for you, but I, like, immediately switched to my childhood dream of having a remote controlled helicopter. Really an aerobatic one not a toy - it's actually a professional sport.

    It's expensive, very expensive for a "toy", like totally I spent 1500+ on it and it keeps growing, but at the end I have something to do every day of my life. In the beginning it was like "Ah it's stupid" but later on you kind of see yourself differently. It's strange but nowadays before going to the clubs/bars whatever to hunt for girls I found myself thinking: "Geeez, I would rather fly my helicopter now than go out" :-) Cause it's stressful. And when I walk around and it's like boring or nothing happens I think: "Ah, finally I'll go home to my helicopter". You know it's strange but it works.

    (I had a really beautiful full size collector's doll for some time - only 5000 in the world, but then she started to freak me out and I put her back into her box :-) The point is it's unique, nobody has it and I like it...

    What I would probably suggest is start sewing and designing your own clothes. Imagine you walk into any place and you wear something that nobody has, that's not Armani, D&G or whatever. They ask: Wow, where did you get that dress? And you go: I made it myself.

    Cool! And it takes time, it's creative, it keeps you entertained and ultimately makes you more attractive to guys.

    A woman that sews her own cloths will really stand up for me immediately and could not possibly be cathegorised as dumb.

    Cool! :-)

    The truth is, if you have nothing to do in your life that entertains you with all the powerful feelings and emotions a "relationship" (whichever way you wanna define it) brings, it's will be just harder not to think about it. It's like : I'm bored - I want that person, or I'm lonely - I want that person. I want to have fun - I want that person. That person isn't here - I want that person. It creates an obsession that just sucks for both people. Had it once, not gonna have it again.

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    Default Re: A Question......

    I just objectify them... seriously, it works. Instead of thinking, "Yay! I get to see so-in-so tonight," I think "Yay! I get to see the penis tonight!" After you done with your fun you must leave immediately. Penis did it's job, time to go. Cuddling leads to romantic notions.

  13. #13
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    I'm asking as I recently dropped The Fireman as I (stupidly) grew feelings for the prick. It was from the get-go all about the sex for him. Unfortunately, whilst it started out the same for me... I got to know him more... and started to fancy him. I told him via text message last night (that I fancy him and want to pursue something more than just a 'love affair') and due to his no response realise it is over and was purely sexual with him.
    Explain again how your miscalculation and presumption makes him a prick?
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  14. #14
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    Quote Originally Posted by Casual Observer
    Explain again how your miscalculation and presumption makes him a prick?
    No, it isn't the above that makes him a prick. It is other things. I listened to his actions and in the end.. it is his actions which made me realise the folly of my fancy. It just that I also read him all wrong. I thought he genuinely liked me as well so I mis-read him big time.

    Anyway, what is done is done. I'm not going back to him anytime soon.

    Just wondering tho' as I found it damn hard to not have romantic feelings (end up fancy-ing him). I'm not really wanting physical relationships anymore. I'm ready (as this relationship has taught me) for a long term one now.

    The relationship I had with The Fireman. It had its time. It has taught me alot about myself and what I want... not just in a man.. relationship-wise. It taught me that I no longer want or desire just sexual/physical gratification anymore. I want a real relationship.


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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl
    Just wondering tho' as I found it damn hard to not have romantic feelings (end up fancy-ing him). I'm not really wanting physical relationships anymore. I'm ready (as this relationship has taught me) for a long term one now.

    The relationship I had with The Fireman. It had its time. It has taught me alot about myself and what I want... not just in a man.. relationship-wise. It taught me that I no longer want or desire just sexual/physical gratification anymore. I want a real relationship.
    Then he did at least one good thing for you. Show you you want more than he's willing to provide. At least it's not messy ya know.

    You'll find what you're looking for as soon as you acknowledge what you want and look for it. This fireman served to show you what you want so you can't lie to yourself anymore. I'm sorry it hurt.

    Mast.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  16. #16
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    i didn't get to have a fireman. at least you can put that notch in your 'collect a set' belt.

    1) Policeman
    2) Fireman
    3) Army
    4) Air Force
    5) Navy/Marine....

    I only managed 3 from 5.

    Actually, there's another answer to keeping it physical. If you play, 'collect the set' it makes it easier.

    Or does that just sound... i dunno... sluuuttty!!!!!!!! hehehehe...

  17. #17
    Member panaceadisease's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    I've never had a just for sex relationship. Though I've had tons of friends with benifits. They were my friends before I fucked them. And since we all knew it was a just for fun thing and never wanted to be more than friends, we never got further attached.

    As for collecting the set, after being on a military base- navy and marine are 2 diffrent notches.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: A Question......

    I dunno, I only ever had one of those work out; the others wanted more than sex or I did. One person's always going to want more and honestly just being really slutty is the only way to keep yourself from focusing on one guy (though by no means does this guarantee one of them won't fall for you).

    Also, do you really just want sex or do you want a boyfriend? I think it's the latter, and you know, this is life. You meet a guy, you sleep together, things go on, one of you ends it. Rinse and repeat. Hopefully eventually you find one you are compatible with. Shoot, my husband and I are the result of a very lengthy "this is just casual sex between friends" arrangement. This went on for lo, three years before the L-word passed between us. Perhaps that is why we are still fucking like casual sex partners eight years down the road . . .

  19. #19
    God/dess Nautilus's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Question......

    Quote Originally Posted by panaceadisease
    As for collecting the set, after being on a military base- navy and marine are 2 diffrent notches.

    shh. i was trying to keep it as 5.

  20. #20
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: A Question......

    Yeah I've had purely physical relationships that stay physical and then I've had ones that don't. Occasionally I've had a couple that sort of develp but then go back to being just physical. I don't know what the secret is to keeping them strictly physical but for me I would say lack of mental stimulation has something to do with it - I really can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't excite my mind aswell as my body! The people who stay physical are the ones whos lives are more on the plain side lol.

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