/* 1. ************************************************** ************/
Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the
other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets
quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other
says, "Go home dad you're drunk."

/* 2. ************************************************** ************/
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was
mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate
and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle
looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied
"I don't know, it all happened so fast."

/* 3. ************************************************** ************/
Get this," said the bloke to his mates. "Last night while I was
down the pub with you guys, a burglar broke into my house."
"Did he get anything?" his mates asked. "Yeah, a broken jaw,
six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought
it was me coming home drunk."