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Thread: He maxed out his credit card.

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    Veteran Member soybeangirl's Avatar
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    Default He maxed out his credit card.

    Last weekend I had an unsettling event occur right in front of me and I'm interested to see what you guys think about it.

    I was sitting with Mr X and things are going very well. He bought a few dances and we had some drinks and I was having a great time. I guess he had one too many and just began spending like his money was endless. He maxed out 2 credit cards and when the waitress asked him if he wanted another round of drinks he says to her, "I'm not sure I have anymore money." So she HELPS HIM GO THROUGH HIS POCKETS and is standing over him saying "I just need 5 more honey, do you have 5 dollars in your car?"

    I just couldn't take anymore so I thanked him and left for the night.

    What's your take on this type of thing? I mean, I know my objective when I am at work but I am NOT there to take someone's last friggin dime.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    I can understand why you would feel bad about this. I'd hate to feel like I'd taken a guy for everything he had.
    But you weren' standing there with a gun to his head making him spend, were you? You may have influenzed him, if he wasn't attracted to you he wouldn't have gotten dances, but ultimately you are not responsible for others actions, he did it on his own.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    If you don't take it, someone else will. I used to be the nice girl that would make sure a guy still had a twenty in his pocket for a cab... but you know what? That same guy would be giving that last twenty to some other girl five minutes later.



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    God/dess dlabtot's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    He'll earn more...it's his choice to spend... I've spent my last dime before and I have no regrets...

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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    I've taken everything in a guy's wallet, but I never stand over them harping for more! I've watched a girl slap a guy because he was three short, after spending two hundred or so.

    I have actually given a few bucks back for their gas money home. I knowit's their choice what they spend, but they have to get home somehow, he he
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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    I need to toughen up. The other day I had a customer who was in the club to celebrate getting a job after a long period of unemployment. He was spending money like crazy, kept telling me he wanted to spend everything he had. I felt weird about it, too, especially since he'd told me he had a family to take care of. I finally walked away. I'm sure he just gave the money to some other girl, but I didn't want that on my conscience. I'm such a softie.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    Everything in dancing is about conscience, really, I think. When someone asks, "Should I...?" it's always, "Do you feel right doing that?"

    I don't think any of us girls are 'softies' for it, just that we have different versions of what we can handle on our mind.

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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    ^^^Agreed. I wouldn't judge anyone else for doing it; I just couldn't do it myself.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    I say get it all, girl. Get it all. Just don't slap him.....unless he likes that sort of thing

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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    Question for you all---is it then OK for a guy to come to a club with the purpose of taking advantage of the dancers? Not sexual, but in taking her time for nothing? If its a game we are playing should we harbor any guilt over doing it? Based on the responses above I think the answer is no.

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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    Personally, I do feel some guilt if I know the guy has spent every penny on me and has to walk home (and it is a fair walk home)... at the same time I am not going to actively discourage him from spending every last penny.

    In the end, you can only be responsible for your own actions and not that of anyone else. The guy is a grown man and if he has troubles with spending when alcohol is in the picture then he should've known himself well enough to NOT take both cards or even one card with him!

    It is far from your 'fault' that he spent every penny. He made the active conscious (even tho' intoxicated just conscious) decision to do what he did that night. Every man does regardless if alcohol or anything else is involved.


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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    This depends on the situation, obviously. There will be situations in which this is perfectly fine, and situations in which it is not. There are a lot of factors, one of which is "how drunk is he?" I once had a guy empty his bank account; he felt fine about it (we corresponded after by email for a while) and would have spent it again. If he would not spend it again, or feel bad, I would worry.
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    ^ Why does this not surprise me? I always knew you had the potential to be a bank-account-emptying chick. Good to see you living up to your potential.

    You're right on the points, of course. Your customer is a big boy. Even if he had regrets later, though, it's not your responsibility to be a chaperone, financial advisor and best friend all rolled into one, don't you think? After all, financial planning is an important skill to have in the SC. Some guys need to crash and burn to learn.

    In purely selfish terms, though, there may be some advantage to pulling a guy back from the brink. If he's a local, or a potential regular, you may want to encourage him to keep from sailing off the cliff so his crash-and-burn saga does not turn him off to the club permanently.

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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    I was in Vegas last month and decided to stop by the Rhino. Bought a couple dances from one of the sexiest dancers I've ever seen. Took her (or did she take me?) to VIP and proceded to run up about 1k in time. No biggie, I can afford that kind of money. Headed over to the ATM only to find out I've got a $500 daily limit on the card. Tried a couple others and wouldn't work so we went to the window and they ran the money on a credit card. This particular dancer was very cool thru the whole situation and NEVER made the evening about the money. One of the coolest dancers I've met...I decided to go back the next night and spend another thousand on her. If she had at any moment made a big deal about the situation I would not have gone back. By the way I'm headed back to vegas this weekend and will probably spend another couple K on her if she's the same person she was last month. The club is about entertainment for guys and money for the ladies but when the dancers turn it solely about the money it's a big turn off. People will spend what they want to spend and it is they who are ultimately responsible for their own funds so don't feel bad. If you don't like what's happening then say something to the customer and if he refuses to put his few bucks back in his pocket then open up that g-string and give him/her a place to stash their last few bucks.

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    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    Quote Originally Posted by skanklover
    Question for you all---is it then OK for a guy to come to a club with the purpose of taking advantage of the dancers? Not sexual, but in taking her time for nothing? If its a game we are playing should we harbor any guilt over doing it? Based on the responses above I think the answer is no.
    Well are you actually lying to dancers, as in "oh yeah I want to dance later but I'd like to sit and chat with you for awhile (and try to touch you while you sit here)?" And then leave or act like you don't remember telling her you wanted to dance. If thats the case, I don't think its the same thing.

    To be honest, I don't think its wrong for you to let her continue sitting there and chatting if she does not bring up a dance herself. However if you purposefully mislead her, that different.

    As far as the types of guys being discussed in this thread, none of them are being mislead. These guys know on some level what they are doing despite how drunk they are. It really comes down to the dancer's discretion as to how far she'll take it with a guy she knows does not have much money or really can't afford her dances. The real question being asked is whether to keep taking money from someone who is openly offering it and can't afford it or to try to help them out and cut them off. But like Lena said, when you play the good guy(girl) someone else will come in and take advantage of whats left.

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    God/dess kitana's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    Quote Originally Posted by soybeangirl
    Last weekend I had an unsettling event occur right in front of me and I'm interested to see what you guys think about it.

    I was sitting with Mr X and things are going very well. He bought a few dances and we had some drinks and I was having a great time. I guess he had one too many and just began spending like his money was endless. He maxed out 2 credit cards and when the waitress asked him if he wanted another round of drinks he says to her, "I'm not sure I have anymore money." So she HELPS HIM GO THROUGH HIS POCKETS and is standing over him saying "I just need 5 more honey, do you have 5 dollars in your car?"

    I just couldn't take anymore so I thanked him and left for the night.

    What's your take on this type of thing? I mean, I know my objective when I am at work but I am NOT there to take someone's last friggin dime.
    I have been known to give a guy a dollar bak that he claimed was his last one. He then in turn, gave me plenty more, since this was his "personal test", but that waitress was kinda out of line, IMO.

    If he had (and I assume he had) been tipping her well all night, then she was WAY outta line. She was being way too greedy and it will come back to bite her in the butt.

    I guess I don't have that deep cutthroat hustler in me, not to that extent anyway. I mean I get upset if I don't get my whole $30 for a dance, but if the guy has done like 5 dances ($150) and he only has $145 on him, I'll deal with that. Five bucks is not something to stress that much over.
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    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    Quote Originally Posted by calliope7
    As far as the types of guys being discussed in this thread, none of them are being mislead. These guys know on some level what they are doing despite how drunk they are. It really comes down to the dancer's discretion as to how far she'll take it with a guy she knows does not have much money or really can't afford her dances.
    Actually, this is not true. The case in point is over $5 the customer was short. It was a mistake that he miscalculated the amount of money he had on him. This is not deception on the customer's fault, just a mistake and they happen. Rummaging through his pockets is not the way to handle this situation. It's obnoxious and in any other situation, it would never happen. Imagine going into a fine restaraunt, running up a huge bill and then coming up $5 short on the $100 tip. The customer explains the situation and that he'll make it up to you on the next trip there. As the food server, you may grumble a bit, but it's not that big of a deal. Imagine though if you decided to ask him to go get the money from his car and then going through his pockets. The manager would fire you so fast your head would spin. This is no different.

    It's not as if this guy is trying to take advantage of you, it's a mistake. Some cards have limits many peope are not aware of. I personally had a card decline on me yesterday to my shock (as I have a very high limit on this card) because some vendor of BofA stole a bunch of credit card numbers and so BofA canceled thousands of cards without notifying anyone. When my card declined, it didn't say "call bank", it said, "Decline". So remember this very carefully...the next time you go scrounging through his pockets for a rediculous five bucks, that will be the last time you ever see this customer again, guaranteed. And when his cards fill-up again (which could be in a matter of days or weeks, mind you) all the money you would have seen because you told him that the $5 was no big deal are now going into the g-string of a dancer in the club that competes with yours.

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    Member Raven Z's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    You know, it's strange. Just last night I had a custy buy the last 3 dances of the evening, half the time he just wanted me sititng there so i'd stay with him and not run around hustling. When it was over he tried to give me his card and pin number so i could go withdraw the amount from the atm!!! It was the strangest thing.....

    Not that i would have a problem with doing that, but i didn't want there to be any potential difficulties and i could just see this guy later saying, "she withrew 500 and said she took only 60 out!" So i made him come with me to get the money. lol silly people. He ended up tipping me an extra 20 by the end of it.


    this other time a guy wanted me to start dancing for him, but it was the middle of the song so i wanted to wait so he could get his moneys worth. But he wanted me to dance right then and offered me $10 extra to dance during THAT song. Well, what kinda girl would i be to refuse such a lovely offer?
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    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    One thought: it might be good to consider the whether you want the customer to come back. Being treated decently when one is vulnerable can generate some pretty stong feelings of loyalty. May not matter to a lot of guys, but it will matter to some.

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    Veteran Member soybeangirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    This is all great feedback. Thanks guys!

    I was really interested in how you all would feel/react if you were in this situation.

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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    I have enough to deal with. I don't feel the need to monitor a guy's money or budget. He knew he was coming in, chose to drink, and that's it. They need to expect that their judgement will be impaired. So if that means not bringing all their money, or just bringing cash and no credit, so be it. It's our job to make money, not babysit.

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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    I never felt bad about taking a guy's money as long as he's spending willingly - I am ALL about getting as much as I can and feeling no guilt because HE made the choice. But what that waitress did is crossing a line in my book. There's a difference between selling someone as much as you can and outright grubbing through his pockets. WTF?? Is this chick on crack or just in bad need of a reality beating?

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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    If a guy is drunk, and I end up taking his last dollar, good for me! He knows what he is doing by deciding to get drunk and go into a club.
    But scrounging through pockets? Making him look like a fool? No, I would never do that! I want to keep custys like that (which spend all their money on me!) not chase them away!

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    Senior Member stitch132's Avatar
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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    When I go to a club, I go planning to spend every dollar in my wallet. I stock up with about $300 and I go to have fun without worrying about how much I'm spending. When it's gone, I leave. I don't drink (beyond required minimum) and I don't try for anything out of the ordinary. So it's a stress-free game for me.

    I never touch the credit cards. And I can't imagine maxing out a credit card.

    I remember the story about the guy who spent $129,626 in one visit to Scores (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive...41scores1.html). It's inconceivable to me how he managed that!

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    Default Re: He maxed out his credit card.

    Soybean do you work at the Mouses ear in Knoxville?
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