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Thread: Getting ignored as female custy

  1. #1
    Newbie pinksugar's Avatar
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    Default Getting ignored as female custy

    I often go to strip clubs, but I seem to have the same problem all the time:

    Scenario-I am the only girl in the group, and I don't have a boyfriend (or don't bring him along). Most girls don't even look at me, and I have to go myself and ask for a dance....I don't do any of the bad things mentioned on here by dancers....I feel like some girls even hate on me (few have made snippy comments...but I keep going back ) I always tip, am not rude, smile, don't cross arms, don't wear a skirt two sizes too small without underwear (read a post mentioning this ..haha....)...and I am not a scary butch (pic below as proof)

    Please help



    Oh, also, some girls think its ok to grope me everywhere because I am a girl....how can I tell them politly to stop?

    Desperately yours

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Eh...it's just a matter of understanding that most female custies AREN'T like you...they're rude, bitchy, and they're only there to give their SO crap for being there. Some of the ladies here might give you better insight than I can, but it seems there's really no way to change the common perception of the female custy. It sucks, but you just have to show them that you are a good (and paying) female customer that actually wants to be there.

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    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    I can't say this will work for all dancers, but try giving a girl you think is attractive a tip on stage, tell her you think she's hot and that if she gets a chance to come and stop by your table. A lot of times girls will assume that you're there because someone made you come (especially if you're sitting with a group of guys), but at the same time they really should be able to pick up on your body language and see that you're enjoying yourself.

    As far as girls gropping you, just tell them politely that you don't like your dances like that. Most dancers including myself tend to give a little more mileage for female customers, but I always ask them if its ok before I do anything more.

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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    What, no groping?! ...I'll be damned if I'm going to GIVE a dance with MY hands at my sides. Nope. You want to play strip club, you're getting the total experience.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    ^^hehehe, that's what I'm thinking.

    I don't approach female custys and I ususally only end up going over b/c their bf called me over. I'm just not comfortable with the female custys, and that's probably the case for many dancers. When I am dancing for a girl, I grope like all hell, but I always ask if they mind first. And I don't stay with them for very long. IMO, a girl just needs to be pleased on so many more levels than a guy and I just can't do that.

    The club I'm in now used to let girls come on only slow nights, but now they're not allowed at all. Too many girls insulting the dancers.

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Quote Originally Posted by calliope7
    I can't say this will work for all dancers, but try giving a girl you think is attractive a tip on stage, tell her you think she's hot and that if she gets a chance to come and stop by your table. A lot of times girls will assume that you're there because someone made you come (especially if you're sitting with a group of guys), but at the same time they really should be able to pick up on your body language and see that you're enjoying yourself.
    This hapens to me alot too. But out of the group of guys I'm the one who goes to the stage to tip. One friend of mine likes me to spend his money and get dances and I love doing this but I don't like having to chase down a dancer. As a dancer myself, if a girl tips me I will go say thank you once of stage and have a little chitchat so i can at least feel her out to see if she's been made to come or not.

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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    See, if we, as fellow strippers, have to ask for dances, it's not surprising that a civilian has to, as well. Just accept it. Though I pretty much will almost never turn down a dance from the girl who actually comes and talks to me, I won't hesitate to ask the ones I want.

    As far as your boundaries go, just be open. I always ask female customers to let me know if I do anything that makes them uncomfortable, and gauge what kind of dance to give on whether they say "Oh, hell, do your worst!" or "I don't really know what happens now." Tell the dancer you'd like a nice, sensual, soft dance and that you'd like not to be groped as one of the guys might report back to your girlfriend.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Don't count on being approached. Tip the stage and, if you get a friendly reaction from the girl, ask her to stop by your table when she gets a chance.

    I like female customers, but I seem to be in the minority. You do get the occasional girl who's sulky or condescending, and you really have to wonder why she's there. But in my experience, many female customers WANT dances. Either they're really attracted to girls, or they want to show off for their boyfriend and friends. Either way, If the girl is happy to be there and likes you, getting her male friends to buy dances for her is like shooting fish in a barrell. Plus, dancing for girls is fun -- they're soft and usually smell nice.

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Its not just females this happens to. Here's a little list of other possible discriminated upon customer categories:

    - Non-white males
    - Younger males
    - Attractive people (male and female)
    - Fat males
    - Customers in groups
    - Couples
    - Customers seated at the stage (valid explanation behind this one though)
    - Customers who don't speak English
    - Customers in street attire
    - Customers who aren't a dancer's regular
    - Customers who are drinking a non-alcoholic beverage
    - Customers who are from out of town
    - Customers who just happened to find a bad seat

    The fact is that we all discriminate. I simply conceded long ago that fighting this type of human nature was fighting the impossible battle. Face it, dancers are there to make money, and don't have mind reading capacity, so they are going to size a customer up one way or another. It's often lazy broadbrushing IMO, but sometimes thats all they have to work on.

    For me, some of the discriminations work in my favor, and some do not. I'd rather just play up those that do, and mitigate those that don't with my actions. Its simply a lot easier to approach a gal and explicitly ask for dances, as opposed to hoping that she'll come over based on a hunch or a hint. Most dancers worth their salt will change their tune once a customer has demonstrated that they came to play ball.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Damn, if I was dancing for you (and I WOULD approach), you are I getting groped, and that's THAT dammit, LOL!

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    ^ lol katrine! I'm not even a dancer and I was thinking..damn, I'd dance for her..hands and all! haha





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  12. #12
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Happens to me all the time. Once you start spending money, they catch on. It just means we female customers have to tip more and be a little more aggressive than the guys.

    And I really think that's a picture of Demi Moore.

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    Featured Member lopaw's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Once I go into a club and spend some $$$$, it's usually remembered the next time I go back to that club, since spending female custy's are few & far between. From that point on I never have a problem getting dancer attention.

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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Due to my experiences, I do not make it a habit to approach female patrons and stick to the men generally. This is not to say I am against dancing for female patrons... far from it! Just that I prefer the female to tip me on stage first or approach me... then I'm all for it.

    This is why I tip on stage alot at strip clubs when I visit them as a patron as I realise that the majority of dancers do not approach unless approached first thanks to the "bad apples of the bunch" as such.


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    Newbie pinksugar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Quote Originally Posted by red red red
    What, no groping?! ...I'll be damned if I'm going to GIVE a dance with MY hands at my sides. Nope. You want to play strip club, you're getting the total experience.
    Haha, I like that I didn't describe it earlier, but the reason they grope me is because they don't believ my boobs are real ( they ask first) and then they touch. It feels more like a health exam...sorry for not specifying

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    Newbie pinksugar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    Happens to me all the time. Once you start spending money, they catch on. It just means we female customers have to tip more and be a little more aggressive than the guys.

    And I really think that's a picture of Demi Moore.
    no, it's me and not to diss myself, but she is way hotter

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    Featured Member redhothoney's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    some dancers are what i call "couple phobic" scared of couples since 4 hands are coming at you at once. thats OT though some girls might be scared that you will be judging her (the way she looks), and that's it is easier to give a dance to a man because they get excited by anything...

  18. #18
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Am I the only one who can't see a photo of the OP?

    I avoid female customers like the plague. Mostly it's because of the bitchy attitudes but it's also coz females in my experience will buy one dance just for the experience then that's it. I would prefer to try to find a man who might end up spending a lot of money by buying multiple dances and invest my energy and time in him.

    Last night we had about 50/50 men and women in the club.
    I am really not a fan of this - regular women in the club can put a lot of men off and they were all sitting near the stage bitching about how the girl on stage was boring and they could do better.

    On saturday night I had a female patron plant her fat arse down at my stage then proceed to try to chat up the guys near her and I overheard her saying "don't you prefer a girl you can actually hold a conversation with?" - I hate these sort of attitudes.

    In general females in the club dance around like idiots on the floor as if it's a regular night club. The really rude ones will stand right next to the stage and dance. They are badly behaved and get away with behaviour that men would get kicked out for.

    I wish my club would stop groups of girls coming in.

    To the OP I do feel for your situation coz u r obviously one of the few cool chicks that come into strip clubs and unfortunately coz of the 99% of bitches that come in to bag us out or try to take the attention away from the dancers - they have ruined the experience for genuine female customers.

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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Ok I have had the same problem too getting ignored as a female and the only thing I can say is you gotta tip well to the stage. They see the money then they see you. I have no problem as I'm there to spend money and enjoy doing it. Tip your waitress well and be courteous, that shit gets noticed.

    I really hope that most dancers don't stereotype all chicks as bitchy, me being a little gay girl, I'm NOT there to be rude, molest, or condescend, and I'm defiantly not going to whip my dick out. I don't understand why females in clubs don't get more attention because I would just think they are so much better behaved during dances but then again I have not ever been a dancer so I don't know this. I apologize that one female could treat another female like that it makes us all look bad.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Um, as a side note, I am a dancer, and ladies if you ever give me a dance feel free to fondle and grope me as you see fit.

    * hehhe*
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Quote Originally Posted by pinksugar View Post
    I often go to strip clubs, but I seem to have the same problem all the time:

    Scenario-I am the only girl in the group, and I don't have a boyfriend (or don't bring him along). Most girls don't even look at me, and I have to go myself and ask for a dance....I don't do any of the bad things mentioned on here by dancers....I feel like some girls even hate on me (few have made snippy comments...but I keep going back ) I always tip, am not rude, smile, don't cross arms, don't wear a skirt two sizes too small without underwear (read a post mentioning this ..haha....)...and I am not a scary butch (pic below as proof)

    Please help



    Oh, also, some girls think its ok to grope me everywhere because I am a girl....how can I tell them politly to stop?

    Desperately yours


    Here here! I go with my guy buddies too, and the girls assume that I'm one of the girlfriends. I tried to give hints by smiling at the girls, but I eventually had to walk across the room scoping out who's busy and who isn't...and then ask for a dance. I noticed that sometimes strippers will ignore the guys I'm with, because they might think that I will get pissed if they approach them.


    I think it depends on the club though, as some clubs are couple/female friendly. Strip clubs don't just have to be for men!

  22. #22
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Are you going up to the stage to tip ? If you are not scared to sit on the front row and you are tipping, smart dancers will get it loud and clear that you want to be there. Just accept not all dancers like ladies there. I always have a great time in clubs when I go as a customer ( I only go a couple times a year ) , but when I do, I'm not afraid to sit front and center and I tip well .

    Your pic doesn't seem to be working anymore ..... ;(

    Sometimes you can get guys to buy you your dances. A dancer who is smart may make this happen.

    They also may assume you are there to try and out and work .... so you might want to work it into the conversation that you aren't .

  23. #23
    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Maybe it is a regional thing, but every club I've been to in Utah, Idaho, and Montana has had female customers having a great time, buying dances for themselves or for their SOs, etc.

    At one club in Missoula, there was this old couple there, wrinkles, missing teeth. She had long gray hair and he had a long gray beard. She bought him three dances and then had one of her own. I heard her tell him, "Happy birthday," and they left.

    At my favorite club in Pocatello, the last time I was there, a female custie asked me if L_____ was a hot dancer, and I told her she was the hottest one there. L____, who was sitting at the table with us, then sold a dance. Later that night, I bought a few myself.

  24. #24
    Member pretty's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    i crawl all over the chicks
    they tip better
    "i dont mind living in a mans world, as long a s i can be a woman in it"- marilyn monroe

  25. #25
    Featured Member Starfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting ignored as female custy

    Everyone is giving good suggestions. You really have to understand though, some dancers (including myself) get really uncomfortable with female customers. I've had so many bad experiences, that NOTHING will make me approach a table with a female customer at it unless she herself comes up to the stage to tip me, and asks me to drop by.
    I think it would work in your favor to frequent the same strip clubs, because dancers talk. If word gets around that you are nice, and like to buy dances, the girls will remember you and tell eachother "that girl over there is nice, not a bitch, go drop by and say hello, she buys dances". Or maybe you will find a few girls you like to get dances from on a regular basis when you go- problem solved. Good luck! you sound cool, wish all female custies were like you!

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