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Thread: How do I stop pissing people off?

  1. #1
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default How do I stop pissing people off?

    I don't get it.

    When other girls talk to a customer, they're just working. When I talk to a customer, I'm "being pushy." (I mean, I even try to stay in the background for saying "hi" when another girl's talking to a customer.)

    I'm sitting here crying because I just got fired from one of the local venues for being "not a good fit". No warnings, just fired. I tried to ask questions and got "the other girls don't like you," "you're too demanding", "it's a lot of things." The only specific incident they cited was when I asked for a walk out through the parking lot -- which is something i was told I was required to do. I tried to be polite to everyone.

    I'm really upset and scared. I don't know how to make this work.

    I feel like I'm back in high school, except that now if the cool kids don't like me, they can cut off my rent money. And I'm just not ever going to be a cool kid.

  2. #2
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Geez, it sounds like you worked with a bunch of c**ts! Don't take it personally - sometimes you don't fit in but the reality is you wouldn't want to because fitting in would mean you'd have to become a nitty picky arsehole! So fuck 'em - I'm really sorry that you got fired though! It's a pity that some co-workers have nothing better to do with their time than find fault with others, hopefully though it will work out for the best and you'll look back and realise they did you a favour by firing you. Maybe if you'd stayed you wouldn't have been happy anyway and hopefully you'll next club will rock more!
    Just don't take any of their reasons for fireing you as gospel - they're probably just mean spirited people who get a kick out of putting other people down. Cheer up! (-:

  3. #3
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    It sounds like some jealous bitches got you fired. Take it as a compliment. :-)



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    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    girls can be bitches, i had an incident w/ one last night myself, you didn't do anything, don't take it so hard, just get out there and go somewhere else, i never heard of someone getting fired b/c they didn't get along w/ people, screw em

  5. #5
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Thanks guys for all your support -- I was just going to take this post down and hide but I'm starting to feel like sticking to myself a little more and just breathing and accepting the fact that not everyone is going to get along with me.

    Aussiepunkshocker especially, thanks -- your words are a breath of fresh air.

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    That's terrible, i'm sorry to hear it. Luckily you're in the land of 88 strip clubs...try again somewhere new, I guess.

    Has this happened before? If it's a one-time thing, I'd write it off as bitchy girls getting you fired. If it's happened before, it might be time to take an honest look at the way you come across. I have the problem of coming across as a bitch when I don't mean to, so it can be stuff that you're not even aware of.

    Good luck!

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    I do take an honest look at the way I come across, every day. I ask each and every person I work with to let me know if I piss them off, that it's OK to tell me to stop doing something if I'm annoying them. If people seem to be upset with me, I ask them if I did something wrong.

    I said that stuff to anyone who said more than two words to me. Please and thank you and is-this-ok and I'm sorry, and it still happens.

    They can smell that I'm an alien, I guess.

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    Veteran Member LusciousLyzz's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    There's a lot of bitches in Portland. Its okay, there's also TONS of other places to work around here!!!! I hope you find one you like and fit in at soon! Good Luck!

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Just keep to yourself. Smile and nod. Don't get into drama. You should do OK.

  10. #10
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Oh, man. So sorry! I've NEVER heard of this happening at a strip club. I was fired from a job once for "not being a good fit" -- I was a bawdy redheaded slut and the people I worked with wore turbans and never ate meat and chanted for six hours a day -- and it does sting. I tell myself they just couldn't handle the amazingness of me, and you should tell yourself the same thing.

    At your next club, I suggest keeping a low profile for a while. This seems to be the best thing for new girls to do. You don't have to be submissive, but keep mostly to yourself, be very polite, and have everything you need so you don't have to borrow anything. It took MONTHS before girls at my current club accepted me. Then over night everyone became my friend -- probably because there was a new new girl for everyone to bitch at.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    I had this problem at the first club I ever worked at, too. It was small with only 4-6 dancers working everyday. A lot of drama developed, and not being used to the strip club culture, I got fired. The I was rehired later. Then fired again.

    The owner said the same thing about it not being a good fit etc.

    I was hired again, and decided to just not talk to any of the other dancers unless I was first spoken to, and to keep any chatting to a minimum. Nothing beyond "Nice weather we're having!"

    It appears to have worked, as I am welcome to come and dance there anytime I want- almost 8 years later.

    I still act this way at work when I walk into a new club. I am pleasant, but not overly social. I try and say only nice things about the other dancers, reguardless of how I actually feel about them or their behavior. I bascially kiss ass and keep any negitive thoughts to myself, or vent here on this forum. I will also take a break and find a hidey hole in the club that I can call my husband and vent to him or a girlfriend who doesn't dance.

    It might seem boring, but if you just keep your head down, you should be okay. It is impossible to piss anyone off if you never speak to them. If a person does get mad at you for not engaging them, then that person is just plain crazy!


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Veteran Member Angel1112's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    time to move on and find some other club to work at or maybe other kind of work if that's what you want to do.Don't dwell in what happened,it's over n done with so now just pick yourself back up and press on into the future.

  13. #13
    Kaiyla
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    What a bunch of bitches! Perhaps you could try to find somepleace a little more "tolerant" of a wider range of personalities. Unfortunately, the advice about keeping to youself a lil bit more is good advice too. Everyone at the old club I used to work with has been through some sort of club-related drama EXCEPT for this one girl who just totally keeps to herself -not in a snotty way but more in like a "I'm here to do my job and then leave" type of attitude. She was always focused on her money and she's pretty much left alone and respected for staying out of the b.s. that exisists in most clubs.
    I hope you find a better place..good luck!

  14. #14
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Re: Keeping to oneself, yeah, I think that might be part of the trouble. I'm used to working retail, where if you're not gregarious constantly, you're suspicious and might not be doing your job. :-)

    Thanks all -- a lot.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Yeah, definitely keep to yourself. If you're new and someone asks who you are, introduce yourself, say it's nice to meet them, and compliment their dress/necklace/hair/whatever. Nice, but superficial. Then go back to whatever you were doing.

    With support staff... never tell them, ask them, even if they're wrong. "Oh, am I allowed to walk myself out or should I wait for you?" "Can I change my one's in here or should I just hang on to them?" Anytime they do anything for you smile and tell them they're sweet.

    Totally different from a real job...



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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    That's how you make a living is by hustling dances. The other girls are jealous because they sit on their asses all night while you work. Go in there and do your job and be the best you can. Fuck what everybody else says. Strip clubs are a dime a dozen and an attractive girl like yourself can get a job at about any she pleases.

  17. #17
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Welcome to the world of politics. That is the ONLY reason I was fired from a particular club locally. I PO-ed someone who then 'whispered' (as such) into the 'right' person's ear to have me fired. It is the best thing they could've done for me. Whilst the timing at the time was absolutely horrible (as I was fired a couple of nights before performing in a final for a competition I wanted to win and thus my head was not in the right place to win the comp.).... it's okay.

    I'm still bitter about it, I will always be bitter about it for one reason only. Unknown to them at the time I gave them FREE national publicity due to being a centerfold for a popular national adult magazine. Grrr...

    Oh well. Their loss. Besides, as other people have posted, it seems you are in an area where you can easily move to another club. Unfortunately, I could not and still cannot as there are only a limited number of clubs on the Gold Coast.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  18. #18
    Senior Member forevernaked's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo
    I was a bawdy redheaded slut and the people I worked with wore turbans and never ate meat and chanted for six hours a day


    .......wow.........


    I'd say more but I don't want to get in trouble.

  19. #19
    Senior Member quequisiera's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    I find that I piss most people off by breathing. So as it is this easy I just live my life and ignore them.
    "Just because you've seen everything doesn't mean you understand it." Foamy the Squirrel ( www.illwillpress.com )

  20. #20
    Member ccgirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    just a thought about the why-people-think-you're-pushy part of your post. i am, deep down, a very timid, shy person and i know i sometimes come off as brusque when i am uncomfortable, or preoccupied or forced to be social. because i just want to get it over. before i realized this and fixed it women thought i was snobby and men thought i was a hard ass. i once got demoted a grade on a paper in college because of my 'attitude' (i was too terrified to talk in class) and the professor was shocked when i fessed up, which took 5 years of courage to do. even as i stood there shaking and red faced and obviously petrified, he couldn't believe that i could possibly be so shy.

    people assume certain things about attractive people (this is backed up with SO MUCH research!): that they are smart, confident etc etc. and if you're uncertain of yourself (hanging back before talking to customers) people aren't going to know what to make of you. add in a cliquey work environment and they'll assume the worst. i've seen it happen in clubs and some of the girls who stick it out end up being awesome and loved by the other girls because we got to know them (though i would find myself telling guys "i swear she's sooo sweet")

    it's clear from your post, your concerns and the language you use that you're really very sweet. i would strongly suggest asking your closest friends what they thought of you when they first met you... it's amazing how much our friends know about us. (on an unrelated noted, research shows that our friends are very accurate at predicting the success of our relationships!)

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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    jesus, sweetheart. you don't know me, i know, but i'm a bit of a lurker. i've read your posts and you're a down-ass chick, as my grandmother would say. i have only one thing to say: fuck them.

  22. #22
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Quote Originally Posted by thechaosfairy
    I don't get it.
    When other girls talk to a customer, they're just working. When I talk to a customer, I'm "being pushy." (I mean, I even try to stay in the background for saying "hi" when another girl's talking to a customer.)
    I don't know, maybe I'm in the minority here but maybe there is something you're not doing right. If a customer is telling you "you're to pushy" are you really being pushy? I know at my club, there are some girls who just won't take no for an answer, or will just lay it on so thick that the guy is turned off by her advances. Also, you say you "stay in the background for saying hi when another girl is talking to a customer" I don't know...but you shouldn't be doing that. If a girl is already talking with someone, don't mosey yourself over there to talk. She is working, and she doesn't need the extra help.

    Quote Originally Posted by thechaosfairy
    I'm sitting here crying because I just got fired from one of the local venues for being "not a good fit". No warnings, just fired. I tried to ask questions and got "the other girls don't like you," "you're too demanding", "it's a lot of things." The only specific incident they cited was when I asked for a walk out through the parking lot -- which is something i was told I was required to do. I tried to be polite to everyone.
    From the little that you've wrote I don't think these girls are being "jealous bitches" I think you don't realize that you're a pest. You're probably always in peoples business, demanding orders, telling folks how they "should do" things etc. I've seen girls like this at my club, and it just isnt' pretty.

    I dunno..I wish I could be as positive as the other girls were on your topic but I just can't. Start to look down in yourself and figure out exactly what it is that you're doing. I mean, if you keep getting fired from different places cause "you aren't a good fit" then yea it's something with YOU!







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  23. #23
    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Hmm. Ccgirl's advice rings true for me. When I'm shy or depressed, everyone seems to be able to smell it. Especially: " i know i sometimes come off as brusque when i am uncomfortable, or preoccupied or forced to be social." Yep. I know that one well.

    Cinnamonkisses, in the environment where I was working, there wasn't a "mosey on over" -- there was a couch that you sat on when you were waiting for customers.

    The customers didn't tell me I was being pushy. The girls didn't tell me I was being pushy, either (even when I asked what was OK and what wasn't) but they told the boss I was being pushy.

    I've talked with someone else who was recently in the same environment, and she let me know that she got the vibe of territorial girls trying to get everyone new fired.

    In some instances, it IS me completely, and I initially wondered whether this was one of those instances.

    At this point, after asking some in-depth questions to people whose advice I trust, and hearing about the details of similar situations, I'm pretty sure it's mostly not my fault.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    Can I ask where you were working?

  25. #25
    Veteran Member rain's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I stop pissing people off?

    yeah, where was this? some of the veteran girls in portland can be sort of unforgiving to new girls. sorry this happened to you. keep yr chin up and try another place.
    There is no salvation in becoming adapted to a world which is crazy.
    Henry Miller

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