This may seem like a trivial problem, but I expect to get honest, sometimes blunt, and supportive answers from SW.
Background:
Sometimes I let people take advantage of me. I don't stand up for myself, and then I end up getting PISSED. I am trying to change this quality I possess, but it's a challenge.
The situation:
A few months ago my friend of 9 years/roommate and I went to Costco. She realized that she left her bank card at home so I put her $85 purchase on my card and said "Write me a check." Well she did write me a check, but it took me a while before I wanted to cash it. When I was ready to cash it I checked with her first, because I didn't want the check to bounce and give her a $30 overcharge.
She told me that she thought I had already cashed the check, so she spent the money on additional Christmas presents for her family. She said she wouldn't be able to pay me back, either, because her parents only give her $150 a month ON TOP OF the rent and bills (not to mention her Ivy League-priced college) they give her, too. She doesn't work a job. So, I didn't cash the check, and I told her we'd have to work out a payment plan or something.
I brought the fact that she owes me $85 the other day, and she:
A) denied it. She acted like she had no idea what was going on. When I showed her the check and reminded her, she
B) blamed me for not cashing the check on time. But am I correct ladies, once you write a check you should keep track of it? I know I don't always do this, but then again, I don't owe anyone money. Just because I waited (and was considering her when I asked her if I could cash it) - it doesn't seem like it's MY fault that she overspent on her budget. And then she:
C) guilt-tripped me. She said "I could pay you, IF YOU WANT TO TAKE MY BIRTHDAY MONEY."
In the meantime, she's bought a SACK OF WEED and taken her boyfriend to one of the nicest, most expensive restaurants in town.
I don't know how to deal with this situation, but I do know that I am PISSED AS HELL. I could just cash the check, but that seems evil, and it would make the relations around our house really bad. I could remind her again, but I don't want a repeat of last time.
While mulling this over, I realized that she's not even my friend anymore. She's sort of a comfortable "childhood" friend, but we're adults now and I think she's treating me like shit. She has the money. She just doesn't want to pay me. And the reason why, I think, is because she assumes that money comes easy for me...because (surprise surprise) I'M A DANCER! I'm sure we've all witnessed this mentality from friends.
What would YOU do? I'm trying, as I said above, to stick up for myself and not let people take advantage of me. I thought about writing her a letter telling her how PISSED I am.I don't want to have to move out, and I've sort of accepted that she's not my friend anymore, but I would like to get along with her as a roommate, get over this, and resume my life! AND GET MY EFFIN MONEY BACK!



I don't want to have to move out, and I've sort of accepted that she's not my friend anymore, but I would like to get along with her as a roommate, get over this, and resume my life! AND GET MY EFFIN MONEY BACK!
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