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    Default I'm a guy with a few questions.

    I'm 21 years old, I have a friend who just got a job as a dancer and her boyfriend is uncomfortable with it. Her boyfriend feels as though he should be supportive though so he goes way out of his way to demonstrate his support but then later makes remarks or comments trying to demean her job.

    Anyway, that was just a little background.
    Do you wish you were doing something besides stripping because you feel as though you are disrespecting yourself?
    How do you deal with friends or relatives that don't like it, why do you think they dislike it so much?

    Do you find it offensive when you have a customer who does not tip at all but is also very respectful and pleasant.

    What do you say to people who tell you stripping is a cop-out?

    Thanks for any replies.

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    Featured Member bikinigirl04's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    never had anyone tell me stripping is a cop-out....how do you mean?

    if you read around the boards there are lots of answers to the questions you asked.

    if anyone felt they were disrespecting themselves, surely they wouldn't do it, don't you think?

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix
    I'm 21 years old, I have a friend who just got a job as a dancer and her boyfriend is uncomfortable with it.
    Ahhh... A friend's boyfriend, huh?
    Her boyfriend feels as though he should be supportive though so he goes way out of his way to demonstrate his support but then later makes remarks or comments trying to demean her job.
    Well that isn't nice.
    Do you wish you were doing something besides stripping because you feel as though you are disrespecting yourself?
    Sometimes. When I have a bad night. There are nights when I feel like a rock star, though.

    How do you deal with friends or relatives that don't like it, why do you think they dislike it so much?
    None of the one's that would dislike it so much know. I did have an ex boyfriend, and I insisted that he learn to love it.
    Do you find it offensive when you have a customer who does not tip at all but is also very respectful and pleasant.
    Less "offensive" and more "annoying." Like, respect and pleasantries are good and important things, and you shouldn't go into a club without them. But they don't pay my rent.
    What do you say to people who tell you stripping is a cop-out?
    Nothing. Why would anyone ever say that to me?
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    I have never felt that stripping is a copout-I do it to help put myself throught college. And I have never felt that I am disrespecting myself-I can decide to end the conversation, dance, etc, I am in charge, not the customer. And when the customer doesn't tip but is pleasant, I will remain on good terms with him/her, because someday he/she may decide to tip or give me money in some way, and plus it may be nice if I am having a bad night to have a nice custy to talk to.
    And if family doesnt like it, it's because they have the wrong idea of what my job is really like, and I tell them so and try to talk with them about their misconceptions.

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    Veteran Member Concubine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Maybe you should be asking your boyfriend's girlfriend these questions instead of us, because everyone's different and feels differently about dancing.

    BikiniGirl had a good answer when she said that someone wouldn't be doing it if they felt it disrespected them. I personally think stripping disrespects men because all they end up with in the end is an empty wallet and blue balls.

    Q) How do you deal with friends or relatives that don't like it, why do you think they dislike it so much?

    A) Well, if my friends and family judged me then they wouldn't love me all that much. They may think it's the wrong choice or be fearful for my mental and physical safety and they have a right to their own opinion, but I also have the right to do what makes me happy.

    Q) Do you find it offensive when you have a customer who does not tip at all but is also very respectful and pleasant?

    A) What Jenny said.

    And as to you question about whether dancing is a cop-out or not... What the hell do you mean?!
    Last edited by Concubine; 03-01-2006 at 12:52 PM.

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Why are some of you guys uncomfortable with having a stripper girlfriend?

    Don't you realize it is a job, that we are at the club to sell as many dances as we can so as to make as much money as we can?

    Don't you realize that we see each customer as a $ sign?

    Since stripping is a sales business just as selling cars is, why do you guys get jealous of customers? We're not looking at them as guys to date. We wouldn't even recognize these guys if we saw them at Wal Mart.

    Are you guys insecure that one of the customers may replace you as a boyfriend?

    Doesn't it make you feel more secure having a girlfriend who has the potential of making more money dancing than in any other job?

    If you live together, wouldn't her extra money in the bank make you lives easier?

    Don't you realize that many dancers have long term boyfriends and husbands? That they come home to their men each night?

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    As a man myself, first of all, your issue, the most important issue here isn't the girl stripping and what her BF thinks about it... it's the fact that you are acting as her surrogate BF.. in other words, you are giving her all the attention/companionship that she wishes, with strings attached from her end (i.e commement/sex/etc)

    Dude, trust me when I say this isn't your fight. If she doesn't like how he feels about her job she can leave, it has nothing to do with you, and don't let her make it about you.

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    Veteran Member TarynJolie's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix
    Do you wish you were doing something besides stripping because you feel as though you are disrespecting yourself?
    No. I have my limits and I don't go past them and thus do not disrespect myself.


    How do you deal with friends or relatives that don't like it, why do you think they dislike it so much?
    I find people who dislike the job do so because of ignorance or in some cases because of their own low self esteem issues.

    Do you find it offensive when you have a customer who does not tip at all but is also very respectful and pleasant.
    Yes. If a customer can't do all three then they have no place being in the club.

    What do you say to people who tell you stripping is a cop-out?
    No one has ever said that to me because it the job isn't a "cop-out" it is a JOB.

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by bikinigirl04
    never had anyone tell me stripping is a cop-out....how do you mean?
    I've found it's a pretty common idea around people that I know(excluding myself)

    if you read around the boards there are lots of answers to the questions you asked.
    I'm sorry

    if anyone felt they were disrespecting themselves, surely they wouldn't do it, don't you think?
    Well some people that feel that they are being disrespectful towards themselves also feel that the monetary gain is worth more than the negative

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Concubine
    Maybe you should be asking your boyfriend's girlfriend these questions instead of us, because everyone's different and feels differently about dancing.
    I understand how she feels about it, I'm interested in knowing if there's a common mindset.

    BikiniGirl had a good answer when she said that someone wouldn't be doing it if they felt it disrespected them. I personally think stripping disrespects men because all they end up with in the end is an empty wallet and blue balls.
    I read one post earlier that was talking about how to milk the guys for more cash, i thought that was kind of disrespectful from the woman's point of view.

    And as to you question about whether dancing is a cop-out or not... What the hell do you mean?!
    Several people I have talked to hold the opinion that "stripping", in the popular sense of the word, is an excuse or a substitute for a real job

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix
    I understand how she feels about it, I'm interested in knowing if there's a common mindset.


    I read one post earlier that was talking about how to milk the guys for more cash, i thought that was kind of disrespectful from the woman's point of view.


    Several people I have talked to hold the opinion that "stripping", in the popular sense of the word, is an excuse or a substitute for a real job
    One of the best things about dancing is that it gives me the freedom to choose the job fields I want to explore. I'm exploring so many unpaid interships right now, and I can be comfortable with offering my resources to them and hopefully eventually getting a job in the area that I'd like to. I'm not going to quit dancing anytime soon, even if I eventually get a paying job. Dancing offers me an incredible amount of freedom in employment.

    How is it disrespectful? Are we supposed to be beautiful women, dancing around for men for free because we like it while our co-workers get paid high sums because they seek out the money? That would be disrespectful to myself and a waste of my talents.

    If I didn't look at this as a sales job, then it would be me wandering around naked, hoping desperately that I'll luck out and some guy will give me money so that I don't leave the building in the red. And what the hell would be the point of that?

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    those people with that opinion are idiots. sex work is WORK. just because something deals with the sexual realm does not reduce its validity as WORK. anyone saying otherwise is wrong. yes, their 'opinion' is WRONG, INACCURATE and MISLED.

    bartenders and waiters and cabbies are often lazy and flaky on the job and get cash every night. where are the people saying that work is a cop-out? funny how jobs like modelling and stripping, where women can bank off the attractiveness society pressures them to maintain are considered 'copouts' or 'not really working for your money'. no wonder so many dancers are reluctant to earn as much as they can, when they hear this false message that their earnings are essentially unearned.

    it's quite like the people who think the only 'real work' is manual labor and that desk jobs are 'not really work'. and we all know that's bullshit, so why does this charge continue to be levelled at sex workers?

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina
    Why are some of you guys uncomfortable with having a stripper girlfriend?
    i'm sure it's at least partly instinctual, social conditioning, i would say most guys are uncomfortable with a stripper girlfriend

    Don't you realize it is a job, that we are at the club to sell as many dances as we can so as to make as much money as we can?
    yes i do realize it's a job

    Don't you realize that we see each customer as a $ sign?
    I hope it's not as blunt as this at least

    Since stripping is a sales business just as selling cars is, why do you guys get jealous of customers? We're not looking at them as guys to date. We wouldn't even recognize these guys if we saw them at Wal Mart.
    Well personally, I wouldn't be jealous, I would feel as though my girlfriend was devaluing our relationship however.

    Are you guys insecure that one of the customers may replace you as a boyfriend?
    I'm sure some are, but I expect a large portion of guys understand that strippers are one of the hardest types of women to "pick up"

    Doesn't it make you feel more secure having a girlfriend who has the potential of making more money dancing than in any other job?
    Perhaps a little, but I try not to rely on my girlfriend for that type of thing too much.

    Don't you realize that many dancers have long term boyfriends and husbands? That they come home to their men each night?
    I thought the opposite was the norm, sorry if I'm mistaken.

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by anomar
    One of the best things about dancing is that it gives me the freedom to choose the job fields I want to explore. I'm exploring so many unpaid interships right now, and I can be comfortable with offering my resources to them and hopefully eventually getting a job in the area that I'd like to. I'm not going to quit dancing anytime soon, even if I eventually get a paying job. Dancing offers me an incredible amount of freedom in employment.
    This is awesome! I wish you the best of luck

    How is it disrespectful? Are we supposed to be beautiful women, dancing around for men for free because we like it while our co-workers get paid high sums because they seek out the money? That would be disrespectful to myself and a waste of my talents.
    If you consider manipulation a talent I suppose. I'm not saying what you're supposed to do or not supposed to do. My occupation also entails taking advantage of other's weaknesses, and I struggle with it, so I can relate.

    If I didn't look at this as a sales job, then it would be me wandering around naked, hoping desperately that I'll luck out and some guy will give me money so that I don't leave the building in the red. And what the hell would be the point of that?
    I like to think of it more as providing a service and getting complemented instead of selling goods.

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by miabella
    those people with that opinion are idiots. sex work is WORK. just because something deals with the sexual realm does not reduce its validity as WORK. anyone saying otherwise is wrong. yes, their 'opinion' is WRONG, INACCURATE and MISLED.
    I think so too.

    bartenders and waiters and cabbies are often lazy and flaky on the job and get cash every night. where are the people saying that work is a cop-out? funny how jobs like modelling and stripping, where women can bank off the attractiveness society pressures them to maintain are considered 'copouts' or 'not really working for your money'. no wonder so many dancers are reluctant to earn as much as they can, when they hear this false message that their earnings are essentially unearned.
    I agree there's no difference, I am a professional poker player, alot of people I know do not consider my occupation "work"

    it's quite like the people who think the only 'real work' is manual labor and that desk jobs are 'not really work'. and we all know that's bullshit, so why does this charge continue to be levelled at sex workers?
    76% of the USA are Christian, I can't expect the negative view held by the public of stripping to go away any time soon.

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by TarynJolie
    No. I have my limits and I don't go past them and thus do not disrespect myself.
    excellent perspective

    Yes. If a customer can't do all three then they have no place being in the club.
    So the dancers are actually the customers and the visitors are the ones providing the services. Is this a widely held perspective? I would like to know more about this mentality.

    No one has ever said that to me because it the job isn't a "cop-out" it is a JOB.
    A TON of people think it is a cop-out however, even though I agree it is not.

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    cop out of what?

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    A few questions of my own:

    1. Haven't we seen a bunch of gals here blow off previous posters for asking to interview them for "research projects" with loaded questions much like the ones asked in the OP?

    2. Shouldn't this thread be moved to Customer Conversation?

    3. Anyone else here smell troll?

    Carry on. Whatever it was.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    1. Men think dancing is a cop-out because many men would do it for free given the opportunity. I've had men ask me what I plan on doing when I get a "real" job... UMMMMM... Making almost $100,000.00 a year doesn't count as a "real" job??

    2. And, yes, the customer is just a $ sign to me. I do apperciate the business that I earn from the customers, but I have no emotional attachments to him/her. As soon as the customer stops spending on my services, then he/she is no longer my customer, and I must focus on earning my living elsewhere.

    3. All people manipulate one another. Don't freak out over this, as this is the fact of our society. From birth your parents start manipulating you so that you don't act like a wild animal. Something as simple as potty training can be considered mental abuse. Try and break your potty trainig and you will see what I mean. We're talking major amounts of shame for the child who fails to get potty training in a timely manner.

    4. What does christianity have to do with stripping? And although 76% of all americans may come from a christian background, only 36% actually attend church. So why even bring that up??

    If I were you, I would advise your dancer friend that her "boyfriend" was bad mouthing her job behind her back. She needs to see his true colors, that he really does have a problem with her work, and then she can make a decision about were to go from there.

    Some girls don't much like dancing, and would gladly find another line of work to save a valued relationship. She really needs to talk with her boyfriend more about this.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina
    Why are some of you guys uncomfortable with having a stripper girlfriend?

    Don't you realize it is a job, that we are at the club to sell as many dances as we can so as to make as much money as we can?

    Don't you realize that we see each customer as a $ sign?

    Since stripping is a sales business just as selling cars is, why do you guys get jealous of customers? We're not looking at them as guys to date. We wouldn't even recognize these guys if we saw them at Wal Mart.

    Are you guys insecure that one of the customers may replace you as a boyfriend?

    Doesn't it make you feel more secure having a girlfriend who has the potential of making more money dancing than in any other job?

    If you live together, wouldn't her extra money in the bank make you lives easier?

    Don't you realize that many dancers have long term boyfriends and husbands? That they come home to their men each night?
    Let's see, how does the usual reaction go?

    "If what he does hurts your feelings and makes you feel uncomfortable - you dump him girl!"

    The advice goes in both directions.

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    Featured Member bikinigirl04's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by doc-catfish
    A few questions of my own:

    1. Haven't we seen a bunch of gals here blow off previous posters for asking to interview them for "research projects" with loaded questions much like the ones asked in the OP?

    2. Shouldn't this thread be moved to Customer Conversation?

    3. Anyone else here smell troll?

    Carry on. Whatever it was.
    1. i was just thinking the same thing...are we going through all this AGAIN??

    2. yes

    3. yes

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix
    I'm 21 years old, I have a friend who just got a job as a dancer and her boyfriend is uncomfortable with it. Her boyfriend feels as though he should be supportive though so he goes way out of his way to demonstrate his support but then later makes remarks or comments trying to demean her job.
    Personally if I had a boyfriend like this I would tell him to get over it, shut up or piss off - it's that simple.

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix
    Anyway, that was just a little background.
    Do you wish you were doing something besides stripping because you feel as though you are disrespecting yourself?.
    No, I LOVE my job and I don't feel that I'm disrespecting myself at all because I'm not (-:

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix
    How do you deal with friends or relatives that don't like it, why do you think they dislike it so much?
    I'm lucky, I've never had to deal with that - everyone I know is supportive of what I do and / or digs it!

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix
    Do you find it offensive when you have a customer who does not tip at all but is also very respectful and pleasant.
    No.

    Quote Originally Posted by shaddix
    What do you say to people who tell you stripping is a cop-out?
    If I met someone who told me that I'm sure I could make them eat their words. F**K off does spring to mind though, lol!

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    Senior Member poriland4's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    a job is a job!
    It's TOO BAD SHE'LL won't LAST, BUT then again WHO DOES!?

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    This is SO disturbing on so many different levels



    76% of the USA are Christian, I can't expect the negative view held by the public of stripping to go away any time soon.


    Okay the whole "Christian" statement just bothered the crap out of me.. Christian? What exactly do you mean by Christian.. Lutheran, Baptist, pentecostal, Evangelical, or even fundamentalist - there are tons of sects out there created by man , made to represent God. How does this affect anyones perception of a job?

    Because I am sexual and erotic this is somehow wrong by religious standards?

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    Default Re: I'm a guy with a few questions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    2. And, yes, the customer is just a $ sign to me. I do apperciate the business that I earn from the customers, but I have no emotional attachments to him/her. As soon as the customer stops spending on my services, then he/she is no longer my customer, and I must focus on earning my living elsewhere.
    thank you for the more detailed explanation

    3. All people manipulate one another. Don't freak out over this, as this is the fact of our society. From birth your parents start manipulating you so that you don't act like a wild animal. Something as simple as potty training can be considered mental abuse. Try and break your potty trainig and you will see what I mean. We're talking major amounts of shame for the child who fails to get potty training in a timely manner.
    I agree this would be quite difficult to discuss since people are manipulated constantly in ways that aren't exactly obvious, culture also plays a big role in this. How do you feel about men who you suspect are customers and spending so much money to the point where it is detrimental to major aspects of their lives?

    4. What does christianity have to do with stripping? And although 76% of all americans may come from a christian background, only 36% actually attend church. So why even bring that up??
    the whole "your body is a temple thing" is why

    If I were you, I would advise your dancer friend that her "boyfriend" was bad mouthing her job behind her back. She needs to see his true colors, that he really does have a problem with her work, and then she can make a decision about were to go from there.
    Yeah, all three of us are planning on discussing it soon. He is much more honest and open when I am around, when he's alone with her he becomes defensive and aggressive sometimes when she is afraid and confused. Hopefully they'll work it out though.

    Some girls don't much like dancing, and would gladly find another line of work to save a valued relationship. She really needs to talk with her boyfriend more about this.
    she does indeed feel this way

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