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Thread: Does anyone else have this problem?

  1. #1
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Does anyone else have this problem?

    I have a lot of difficulty saying "no" to people - and yes, I'm serious. I'm (somehow) not a person that people envision as having this problem, and yet. I hate saying no. People ask me out, and I don't want to go. I hate dating. Seriously. I am delighted being single, and not in the slightest bit interested in changing that. Everyone is boring, and I'm reasonably sure that I've already met all the people I am ever going to like (yes, I am really THAT bitchy). But somehow when someone asks me on a date, no matter how much I really don't want to, I wind up going. And then I have a really boring time, and generally come home with a headache because I have been conditioned as a dancer and spend like HOURS trying to like ENTERTAIN them or something. And then I wonder why they like me, and had a such a good time when I was bored out of my skull. If I know it's coming I can steel myself with a "No Thank You." I can't do excuses, or I start to stammer - plus it just gives them something to try to fix. But sometimes they just SNEAK up on you and then you are like "Um, um, um... yes?" Then, in addition to being a bitch because I hate everyone (I know - I'm really not a nice person) I'm a bitch because I am totally leading a guy on - because OF COURSE he thinks I like him. I just spend all this time ACTING like I like him. How do other people learn not to be this socially retarded? Is there like a secret school or something? I only had one boyfriend in high school - is that where the rest of you learn how to do this?
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have this problem?

    Well yeah I have similar problems and now this guy somehow got my phone number and is calling me asking me out...I keep telling him no, tho, because I can do that over the phone. It just takes a lot of work, like next time someone sneaks up, be prepared to say no, tell that person that it is against the law like it is prostitution, idk, that is what I do.

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    Featured Member Tiff_7_17's Avatar
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    Default Re: Does anyone else have this problem?

    No I kind of feel you. Personally I don't share the same attitude where I don't think i'll ever date anyone I like...and I like dating but....
    I can't really say no either.
    I have this creepy guy I hooked up with over a year ago at some drunken endeavour and then we hung out (JUST watched a movie) one other time (because I can't say no, remember?) and he told people we did more than watch a movie. Idiot. Anyways recently he's apologized and said he's changed his ways and wants to "be friends". This guy obviously doesn't deserve my time of day but...I CAN'T SAY NO. So...we almost go for coffee because I figure hey, I guess I can give him another chance (even though I totally don't like him) and it wasn't until he started phoning me 3+ times a day, one of which times he was completely loaded and blurted out "I love you" that I finally managed to squeak out a no.

    I feel you. No is a hard word, but a vital one.

  4. #4
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    Re: Does anyone else have this problem?

    In that case, I probably shouldn't ask you out again lest I continue to contribute to your problem... on the other hand, it would give you yet another opportunity to finally say "no"

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    Default Re: Does anyone else have this problem?

    Yea, I used to be like that.
    My mom said something to me one day along the lines of - dont feel bad if your might hurt someones feelings. Mean yes....saves you from getting a headache better yes.
    I use my stripper acting skills to act like I dont like them and then proceed to tell them so.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
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