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Thread: Am I a commitmentphobe????

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    Member Becks's Avatar
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    Default Am I a commitmentphobe????

    Ok so i have had some bad deals with guys in the past as most of us have. my first and only "long" term boyfriend was nearly 5 years ago now, i have had 1 or 2 month relationships since then but nothing serious, now at the time i was seeing my long term boyf i was still quite young and having some problems at home and i guess you could say he was kinda my sanctuary, somebody i could lean on and trust, after we split i kinda went crazy doing the crazy horizontal dancing with all the boys but now i have calmed down.

    The thing is i sometimes i think yeahhhh i would really love a nice boyfriend somebody who i could settle with for a while but then i meet a guy and its all good for a couple of weeks and then i lose interst and want out.
    I mean at the moment im seeing a guy and he is sooooo lovely, he's kind, sweet, loving and it was amazing for the 1st month but now im getting all snappy and thinking no i dont want this anymore. I have done this with guys in the past when i have thought they were great then i try and push them away after a few weeks, my ma says im trying to push them away before they can hurt me but i cant get over that icky feeling when i know im starting to feel like i want out and i dont want them to touch me and i start being all snappy.

    I know its horrible on the guys and i wish i didnt do it i really do.
    Is it just me? will i do this for the rest of my life and maybe never find somebody?
    Or is it that there just not the one?

    I see all my friends meet guys and have great relationships with them and i think "why cant i do that?"
    is there something wrong with me?
    Am i a commitmentphobe???????
    Good Day to you!

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    Default Re: Am I a commitmentphobe????

    If you were a guy with that attitude, you'd be a major heartthrob

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    Default Re: Am I a commitmentphobe????

    yeah why the hell is that? the guy who plays the most games, acts aloof, and or very indifferent is the one they want the most? by the way becks i think it could be one of two things. 1. you are like you said very affraid of commitment and push them away before they have a chance to hurt you. 2. the simple answer could be that you just havent found the right guy that you just cant stand not to be with. the one that you think about all the time even when you push him away.

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    Veteran Member oulala's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a commitmentphobe????

    I am really the same way. I get sick of the guy pretty fast, but I've found that if I stick it through knowing that he is the kind of guy I COULD fall in love with, I do fall in love after the first 3-4 months. I suggest you try staying in a relationship longer than normal, you probably just don't give yourself enough time to develop any feelings for him. You aren't going to feel anything serious in the first months - of course you're not sure about them and want out. Just my opinion.

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    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I a commitmentphobe????

    WHY don't you try to spend enough time first to know a guy and become great friends before you become intimate with him? In that way you will find out what is between you beyond just your and his lust. If lust is going on, you may never find out what you need to know. Instead you are satisfying those urges, but you are working against what you seem to weant more. Also it will be easier to leave when you find out you are just not going to make it together.

    Does this sound like what your Mum told you? Hmmmmm.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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