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Thread: Worst insult you told a customer

  1. #1
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Worst insult you told a customer

    LOL I can't believe I'm starting this thread, considering that I'm generally a nice person and have been told many many times by customers that I'm the nicest dancer in the club. But yes, even for me, there are rare times that insulting a customer might be appropriate. Not so much an actual insult, but moreso a witty comeback to put customers in their place after they say something rude or try to touch you where they're not allowed. Here are a few examples I had:

    Last year, it was a really dead day shift at Wizzards. These two young black boys wearing MTV-ish hip-hop clothes are the only guys at the club. The one guy is nice and tips a dollar, the other laughs and says, "No, I'm cool, I'm only here for the *free show.*" So I respond with, "OK, I'll keep that in mind next time I'm a Peeping Tom watching you through your bedroom window getting dressed." His friend was like, "Ohhhhh, she got YOU!" and that actually broke the ice and his friend thought I was cool. Hahahaha.

    Then there's guys who try to pull a "fast one" and grope me where they're not supposed to. Generally these guys sneak it up. So I return the "favor"(favor used sarcastically here), by doing something equally annoying to them, by pinching their ass or pulling their hair or poking my long-nailed finger at their neck. They don't like this much so then they know how it feels, usually then they leave me alone.

    Last night, it was kinda dead and there were 3 young white Abercrombie-ish boys at the bar. I'd already seen them while making rounds during an earlier set, and it was almost pulling teeth for $1 each the first time around. After my second set, the one guy says "Didn't I already see you?"--yeah, an hour+ ago--"YOU should be tipping ME a dollar now." I waited until AFTER it was obvious that they weren't tipping me a fucking dollar. Then I said, "Sure you're good-looking, but you guys are a dime-a-dozen, I've been with 97 good-looking guys, you really think one more makes a difference?" Then he tried to snottily retaliate by saying "Well, I've REJECTED more than 97 girls", probably as a cheap jab to me, then I said, "I've rejected in the thousands, join the club" and walked away haha.

    So after dealing with those boys, I encounter another 3 young boys...this time foreigners, I think from some Arab country. The two of them don't tip, the third guy waves a dollar in front of me(oooh, a whole dollar, what a fortunate!) and says "I'll only give this to you if I can slip my fingers down there, just a little bit" meaning grope me under my G-string, FUCK NO!!! So I use reverse psychology and respond, "Sure you can, only if you let me stick my finger in your asshole, just a little bit" imitating his tone of voice. He didn't like that very much(he wasn't supposed to!!), but I wanted him to know how it feels to be harassed, then he said "well if I can't touch you down there, you're not getting this dollar" so I wrote him off as a loss by saying "you can't afford me" and sauntered away.

    Haha I'm mostly a very nice person, and for the people I dissed, I waited until the second or third time around of them being rude to me before I said these things. Most times I just walk away with my nose in the air, before the blithering idiots get their insulting words out completely, but sometimes I can't resist comebacks esp when it provides me with a good laugh!! Last night, I made all the money I needed from NICER customers, it was the end of the night and I was very tired, those non-tipping losers didn't make or break me, that's probably why I was so cocky to them. I've heard worse though, such as girls calling guys "assholes"!! Haha. What have YOU said to a rude customer before?

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Once when I was waitressing, a customer tipped me 23 cents on a $74.77 tab. He had two women with him and was trying hard to be a big high roller. I handed him back the 23 cents and said, "No, hon, apparently you need this much worse than I do."

    One of the women snuck back and left $10 on the table as they were heading out.

  3. #3
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    I posted this before, I think, but once a customer grabbed my hand and forced it (he HURT me!) into his lap so that I had no choice but to brush his little penis with my palm and knuckles before I could get my hand away from him. I stood up, wiped my hand off, and said "Ewww....your dick is small," as loudly as I could. Several people looked around and his friends were laughing hysterically. Grrr. I'm usually nice, too, but I don't like to be fucked with.
    Last edited by xoxoGracexoxo; 03-16-2006 at 06:08 PM.

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    ^^hahahaha!! That's nice

    Um, this guy was using a camera phone to take a picture of me once when I was up on stage. I was so pissed, especially when he had the nerve to come back later and ask me to "shake it" for him, for a dollar. I was like, "Aren't you the same guy with the camera phone earlier?" and he replies, "It was an accident." So I say, "Yea, and if I take my stiletto and crush your balls with it, I guess we could call that an accident too." He got mad and tried to lay some, "I was gonna use the picture to make you famous..." bullshit. I rolled my eyes and said, "You? Make me famous? Haha, you know, I can't even get mad at you. After all, you're the one that has to pay women for their attention."

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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    When guys keep bugging me about going home with them or extras I simply tell them I don't do charity work.

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    ^^^ Owwwwch! I'm stealin that!

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan-Va
    When guys keep bugging me about going home with them or extras I simply tell them I don't do charity work.
    Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmm I all over that too Optimist!

    What do the men say after that Susan? Man, I would LOVE to see the look on their face after hearing that one.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Guy lays a $20 on the stage for my entire set, then exchanges it with a $1 when I am picking up my money. When I call him on it, he said he was just joking around with the $20. My response "Wow, you're funny... But looks aren't everything."

    Guy makes some dumbass comment (usualloy insulting or vulgar) and my favorite replys are:
    "Wow, you're a real rocket scientist, aren't you?"
    "What charm school did you attend? You should get a refund."
    "I hope your wallet is as big as your mouth."

    I guess I'm not very nice. And I don't even drink when I'm at work . I figure if they insult me first, then they are fair game.

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    Featured Member Guenevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    "I don't come to your McDonalds and ask for free food!" (regarding free dances)





    v v v v (Have you seen my sig., regarding guys turning down dances?) v v v v

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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Quote Originally Posted by PhillyDancer1982
    LOL I can't believe I'm starting this thread, considering that I'm generally a nice person and have been told many many times by customers that I'm the nicest dancer in the club. But yes, even for me, there are rare times that insulting a customer might be appropriate. Not so much an actual insult, but moreso a witty comeback to put customers in their place after they say something rude or try to touch you where they're not allowed. Here are a few examples I had:

    Last year, it was a really dead day shift at Wizzards. These two young black boys wearing MTV-ish hip-hop clothes are the only guys at the club. The one guy is nice and tips a dollar, the other laughs and says, "No, I'm cool, I'm only here for the *free show.*" So I respond with, "OK, I'll keep that in mind next time I'm a Peeping Tom watching you through your bedroom window getting dressed." His friend was like, "Ohhhhh, she got YOU!" and that actually broke the ice and his friend thought I was cool. Hahahaha.

    Then there's guys who try to pull a "fast one" and grope me where they're not supposed to. Generally these guys sneak it up. So I return the "favor"(favor used sarcastically here), by doing something equally annoying to them, by pinching their ass or pulling their hair or poking my long-nailed finger at their neck. They don't like this much so then they know how it feels, usually then they leave me alone.

    Last night, it was kinda dead and there were 3 young white Abercrombie-ish boys at the bar. I'd already seen them while making rounds during an earlier set, and it was almost pulling teeth for $1 each the first time around. After my second set, the one guy says "Didn't I already see you?"--yeah, an hour+ ago--"YOU should be tipping ME a dollar now." I waited until AFTER it was obvious that they weren't tipping me a fucking dollar. Then I said, "Sure you're good-looking, but you guys are a dime-a-dozen, I've been with 97 good-looking guys, you really think one more makes a difference?" Then he tried to snottily retaliate by saying "Well, I've REJECTED more than 97 girls", probably as a cheap jab to me, then I said, "I've rejected in the thousands, join the club" and walked away haha.

    So after dealing with those boys, I encounter another 3 young boys...this time foreigners, I think from some Arab country. The two of them don't tip, the third guy waves a dollar in front of me(oooh, a whole dollar, what a fortunate!) and says "I'll only give this to you if I can slip my fingers down there, just a little bit" meaning grope me under my G-string, FUCK NO!!! So I use reverse psychology and respond, "Sure you can, only if you let me stick my finger in your asshole, just a little bit" imitating his tone of voice. He didn't like that very much(he wasn't supposed to!!), but I wanted him to know how it feels to be harassed, then he said "well if I can't touch you down there, you're not getting this dollar" so I wrote him off as a loss by saying "you can't afford me" and sauntered away.

    Haha I'm mostly a very nice person, and for the people I dissed, I waited until the second or third time around of them being rude to me before I said these things. Most times I just walk away with my nose in the air, before the blithering idiots get their insulting words out completely, but sometimes I can't resist comebacks esp when it provides me with a good laugh!! Last night, I made all the money I needed from NICER customers, it was the end of the night and I was very tired, those non-tipping losers didn't make or break me, that's probably why I was so cocky to them. I've heard worse though, such as girls calling guys "assholes"!! Haha. What have YOU said to a rude customer before?
    i know I am not supposed to necessarly post over here, but I have to put my 2 cents in for the good looking guys..

    now, I am not defending them by any means.. as a matter of fact i can't stand guys like that... well actually I can because I get all the women who are like you.

    I am considered cute/good looking.. but I don't take it for granted... because I like older women, and if you notice, you will hardley ever see an older woman with a 21-22 year old "hot" guy, no matter how hot she is, because she can get a guy that is good looking AND knows that it takes more than looks to be sucessful with woman.. at least the women you want to be with.

    Alot of dancers... great to look at, but don't let them open their mouths.. my gosh

    I am here to tell you that however.. these are the guys you can probably make the MOST money from... Because they are soo "hot" they think you "really mean it" when you tell them how much you like them.. "oh let's go back to here so we can get to know each other".. oh gosh, and don't mess around and give him yourp hone number... you might break his bank account.

    Thoose are the type of guys that you don't even expect money from at first.. you have to work on them for 20-30 mintues, make them think you really are that much into them, because they don't know how SC's work, theyd on't know the difference between hustling and you actually giving a flying flip about them

    Like I said, I consider myself to be reasonably attractive... to some moreso than others, but I'm not unattractive, I know that. Anyway, dancers tell me all the time how cute I am or how good looking I am... and although they might mean it,, their motives for telling you that aren't what they would be OTC... but it still feels good to hear

  13. #11
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Quote Originally Posted by songofthesword
    I am here to tell you that however.. these are the guys you can probably make the MOST money from... Because they are soo "hot" they think you "really mean it" when you tell them how much you like them.. "oh let's go back to here so we can get to know each other".. oh gosh, and don't mess around and give him yourp hone number... you might break his bank account.
    Ha, yea right. Who were you refering to, the HOT young guys?! Yea right those are the guys you can make the most money off of Those "hot" guys are the pricks who are used to everyday girls falling and drooling all over them. Well sorry, but I ain't that girl I'm here to work, and not make googlie eyes w/ the pretty boys.

    Hell, give me a fat, middle aged man with glasses anyday. Yea, it may take me 20-30 minutes to get him to open his wallet. But when he does, he's taking care of me for the rest of the night. Please believe me







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  14. #12
    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses
    Dammmmmmmmmmmmmmm I all over that too Optimist!

    What do the men say after that Susan? Man, I would LOVE to see the look on their face after hearing that one.
    Always sat it with a smile, sometimes I'll pat their little face to make them feel better but usually I just walk away at this point swinging my fat little ass as I go!

  15. #13
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    This wasn't mine, but a waitress I used to work with at a fancy, expensive Italian restaurant. She had a really nasty customer, some suburban housewife, who was treating the poor waitress like her personal slave. She kept getting nastier and nastier, until one point when she grabbed the waitress's arm as she was carrying a huge heavy tray, and almost made her drop the tray. The waitress couldn't take anymore and snapped, "Listen lady, I don't go down to the bus stop and slap dicks out of your mouth when you're trying to work!"

    The look on that woman's face was priceless. Absolutely priceless.

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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses
    Ha, yea right. Who were you refering to, the HOT young guys?! Yea right those are the guys you can make the most money off of Those "hot" guys are the pricks who are used to everyday girls falling and drooling all over them. Well sorry, but I ain't that girl I'm here to work, and not make googlie eyes w/ the pretty boys.

    Hell, give me a fat, middle aged man with glasses anyday. Yea, it may take me 20-30 minutes to get him to open his wallet. But when he does, he's taking care of me for the rest of the night. Please believe me

    trust me, and this goes for women, but there is a difference between a guy who happens to be easy on the eyes, and the guy who makes it known that he is "hot".. The later is usually insecure.

    you are not playing on his "hotness", you are playing on his insecuries.

    Take me.. I know I'm attractive, but at the same time, I have many facets to my life.. i don't have to have a woman's approval for me to feel good about myself.

    Some guys, just like women do... because their looks are the only things they have going for themselves.

    A good friend, actually my best friend, happens to be a woman. She also happens to be very hot.. but been there, done that.. we are best buddies now.

    anyway, she met this guy who was an A&F model..I'm not gay but the guy looks good. He is trying to be in the 2008 olympics... has woman literarly tripping over themselves to get to him.

    he saw my friend.. actually my friend was dating his best friend, and he begged her to break up with him to date HIM (that's what friends are for).. she broke up with him.. but not for him.

    You would think that a guy this good looking would have a shred of confidence? He's the most pathetic guy I have ever seen. He is so pathetic that she won't date him... she's been strining him along for a year now almost.

    what I am getting at is, although alto of women preceive his value to be high, he doesn't... he has never had to open his mouth, hold a converstaion, deal with flaky women to get wome, they just want to be with him because he is good looking.. but every last GF he has ever had ended up cheating on him.. he has no personality, no backbone, no confidence besides what you see.

    This has to do with you breaking him becasue, you are hustling the same, but you have to tweak it to how you are dealing with.. for instance, I'm picky on who I will get dances from.. not necessarly the best looking dances.. I look to see how she dances on stage, she has to be a good talker and at least make an effort to make it seem like it's not about the money, although I know it is. I'm not a guy that you can come up to and say let's go dance and I will. Also, I shut down after any sob stories.

    The average dancer will come up to him (the hot guy) and will give him a hug, and within 2-4 mintues, ask for a dance.. that will never (not enver, but not often) work with the insecure hot guy..

    You have to withold what he is looking for.. and it's not necessarly the dances, it's the confirmation that you think he is a great guy. He wants/ needs to hear that he is "special" ane neat, and that you really like him.. but you don't tell him that off the bat so to speak as you would a normal customer

    someone said it best.. I forgot who.. but everyone doesn't come tot he SC for the T&A

    I very rarely buy topless dances.. I know what tits look like

  17. #15
    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    First off, songofthesword - when did you become a dancer? I thought this thread was asking DANCERS about witty or clever insults they had said to CUSTOMERS. Sheesh.


    Anyway, guys are always asking me about my boobs and if they are real or not. I'll pop of and ask them " Why do they care their dick will never be in the middle of them."

    That usually makes them hush.

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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Damn, soorryy. It's not like I cursed you out or anythnig l ike that..
    Just trying to offer some insight.. if you didn't like it, no need to go off on the deep end.

    Just like you being a dancer doesn't make you any worse than anyone else... it also doesn't make you superiour to anyone else... there is always something to be learned, and it is a fool who discredits anyone who offers information, rather they agree or not

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    Featured Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Your insight is not needed into something you have no insight into. UNTILL you put on a thong, walk around in high heels and do what we do you wont. Whether or not I am worse than anyone else is irrelevant, the fact that I am a dancer also doesn't make me superior to anyone else either. Fact of the matter is that I AM a DANCER and YOU are not. Stop trying to change the subject and swivel the blame elsewhere.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    {Deogol eating popcorn nearly blows Dr. Pepper through his nose while watching the show.}

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Quote Originally Posted by songofthesword
    You have to withold what he is looking for.. and it's not necessarly the dances, it's the confirmation that you think he is a great guy. He wants/ needs to hear that he is "special" ane neat, and that you really like him.. but you don't tell him that off the bat so to speak as you would a normal customer
    SOTW, I really feel where Crow is coming from on her post. And also, VenusGoddess and the rest of the SW ladies. As per sticky: http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=54364 <-- This means you need to read it. Perhaps then you will gain some understanding as to why a males opinion especially on issues such as this are irrelevant.

    Hope that helps,
    CK







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    ^^^ Also, please read in it's entirety. TY







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Poor kid,LOL.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Senior Member Bridget83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    I'm working at a bikini bar, which is mostly table dancing(even though we do LD) , so I was getting tips from the guys sitting at the bar, and this guy shows me two $1 bills, and since he wanted to put his entire hand on my breast, and I wouldn't let him he was like 'if you want this money you'll have to let me touch your boobies' and I was like ' save it for you, looks like you need to buy some breath mints'. His friend started laughing and gave me a $10 bill.

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    Featured Member mild2wild's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    i was dancing for this guy and his friends, through out the whole dance he would not shut up, he was asking questions about me and my life out side of work, so i walked to his looked right in his eyes, put my index finger over his lips and said loudly im going to dedicate a song to you, and started singing you say it best when you say nothing at all, him and his friends thought it was amusing and tipped me for my comedy acts!

    another time this complete loser was sitting at the front table smoking what seemed like to be a joint, i said to the customers opposite him feel free to do lines off the table too loud enough for the smoking guy to hear (guy smoking joint got booted immediately)

    when about to dance for a guy, it is compulsary to get paid prior to dancing for him, so i always say finance before romance, they think it is amusing!

    will think of more funny things i say
    Australian Strippers WWW.MILD2WILD.COM.AU

  26. #24
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    Man, I'm starting to conform to you gals lol..

    Last night, there were 2 young guys sitting in the club. I talked to them for a brief second and they still were not interested in dances.

    The one had on sunglasses, so you KNOW I had to say something about that!

    Me: Why do you have sunglasses
    Him: Cause I dont' want people to see where my eyes are at any givin moment. Like you're talking to me right now, and for all you know I could be just staring at your tits the whole time. I'm not though, I'm looking at your face

    So he takes them off...
    Me: So what brought you guys in?
    Him: Shi for the girls. I love a free show.

    Oh no he didn't!
    Me: Ohhhh I see, so you're taking up space?
    Him: What?!
    Me: Well I'll be the one to tell you, we as dancers aren't employees we work off of dances. The club is now full of people standing, and here you are, just here for a show while people who have money in their pockets have to stand. So yea, you are taking up space.

    Then he tries to be all cool about the situation and start all this crap about "Well I mean I came here with money, and if a girl can hustle me out of it, then it's all good. But I'm not giving it to just anyol' body." I responded to that, but I could already tell from his conversation that they want someone to chill and kick it with, and I am not that girl.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  27. #25
    Veteran Member Angel1112's Avatar
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    Default Re: Worst insult you told a customer

    i don't think that im better than these guys or anyone who may insult me or are rude to me..i try to take the higher road instead and not return the insult or rudeness. I don't like it when someone is rude or insulting towards people or myself. It can be hard at times to just take it and not to retaliate back at them ....then there are people who say i just sit there and take the abuse without saying anything back and they call me a spineless fool ...
    but for me as i see it as, two wrongs don't make a right and i simply just try to keep the peace and say little as possible.

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