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Thread: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

  1. #1
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    Default The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    The Mystery of the Curtain Rods

    She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,crates and suitcases.

    On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

    On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their
    beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft
    background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of
    caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

    When she had finished, she went into each and every room and
    deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into
    the hollow of the curtain rods.

    She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss
    for the first few days. Then, slowly, the house began to develop
    an odor.

    They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

    Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during
    which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they
    even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing
    worked.

    People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work
    in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the
    stench any longer and decided to move.

    A month later, even though they had cut their price in half,
    they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got
    out, and eventually, even the local Realtors refused to return
    their calls.

    Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
    purchase a new place.

    The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were
    going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened
    politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house
    back.

    Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he
    agreed on a price that was about 1/10 of what the house had been
    worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

    She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

    A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they
    watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
    home -- including the curtain rods.

  2. #2
    God/dess gypsy_girlchild's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    hiya, now tha'ts sticking it to him! loved it!
    Please don't lick me, it tickles..



  3. #3
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    ahahahah that is too funny
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

    End violence against women.
    I support Dottie.


  4. #4
    Veteran Member JettaNyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    awsome story...and good idea..just in case. LOL

  5. #5
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    *takes down notes*

    LOL!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  6. #6
    Featured Member lizlizliz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    aww happy



    how much of a fucking badass would you feel like if you succeeded in pulling something like this?

  7. #7
    Veteran Member Cristalla's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    real story?

  8. #8
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    *taking notes beside OTB*


    HAHAHA!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  9. #9
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    I LOVE this story, I've seen it a couple other places. Nothing like sweet revenge
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  10. #10
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Mystery Of The Curtain Rods

    I did the curtain-rod thing to a pound of beef in my old apartment. Still wonder if they found it.

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