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Thread: Repercussions of Dancing?

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    Veteran Member redvelvetrose's Avatar
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    Default Repercussions of Dancing?

    I was planning on dancing this summer, and now all of a sudden my boyfriend is objecting to it, but not for the usual reason. He's fine with the idea of me stripping because, after all, it is my body and I can do what I want with it. He trusts me that I'm not going to do anything with the customers.

    However... he's worried about my safety. He doesn't want anyone hurting me. He thinks that working at a strip club could be dangerous (physically, mentally, or socially). He also knows that if word got around (and it probably would) that I was stripping, my brothers and pretty much anyone they talk to would think of me as a slut. The main thing he's worried about is...what if people knew I used to strip? Couldn't that "tarnish" my image and be counted against me when I'm looking for a job? Like if I'm looking to get hired at some company and they decide to do a background check, they might just think, "Oh, she used to be a stripper, she must be stupid or slutty, we don't want her working here." Would people still take me seriously?

    Has anyone had to deal with this, or is this just not really that big of a problem?

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    Well he definately has a good reason to worry. It can be dangerous and it can be harmful mentally. Some girls cant take the mental things that they go through. If you work with some mean girls it can be an awful experience. Those cases are rare but there are some clubs that if one "popular" girl does not like you then you're basically screwed.

    I guess it really depends on how long you've been with him and what you really want. Do you see it being a short term thing? Long term? Dancing is not for everybody and it can ruin relationships very easily. Guys become jealous very easily and may accuse you of things you never did.

    About the job thing. I'm sure it could come back to haunt you depending on what job you tried to get. Obviously if you went into politics and people found out you were a stripper for sometime it definately wouldn't help. Bad example I know but really it depends on the type of jobs you'd want. Do you live in a small town? If so it could make things worse if everybody knows you.

    You ever thought about waitressing first? You could always waitress at the club first and get an idea on what goes on, what type of custys, and experience some things second hand that you'd have to go through.

    Sorry If i'm not too clear, i'm tired. But in my honest opinion if you only see yourself doing this during the summer and then quitting. Having all these doubts and making a caring boyfriend worry. I'm not really sure it would be worth it. If you think of doing this long term then its a different story. But with all your doubts now and only plan on doing this for a few months. Its probably really not worth it. You could end up damaging your reputation in just a couple short months if you really think people around you are going to think you're a slut.

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    Member calikristen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    It is an issue you should consider before you dance. If he goes into politics or you go into politics it could potentially become a 'scandal' of sorts. I remember about a month ago a former stripper became a judge and it was all over the news...

    For me, I don't care. I'm open minded and pretty much anyone around me knows it. But for some, the thought of their parents/grandparents/ kids finding out botheres them.

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    Calikristen, do you have any info or articles on the ex dancer turned judge?

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by TasteMahRainbow

    About the job thing. I'm sure it could come back to haunt you depending on what job you tried to get. Obviously if you went into politics and people found out you were a stripper for sometime it definately wouldn't help. Bad example I know but really it depends on the type of jobs you'd want. Do you live in a small town? If so it could make things worse if everybody knows you.

    Sorry If i'm not too clear, i'm tired. But in my honest opinion if you only see yourself doing this during the summer and then quitting. Having all these doubts and making a caring boyfriend worry. I'm not really sure it would be worth it. If you think of doing this long term then its a different story. But with all your doubts now and only plan on doing this for a few months. Its probably really not worth it. You could end up damaging your reputation in just a couple short months if you really think people around you are going to think you're a slut.
    I agree. If you want to do this long term investigate clubs you can commute to. If you're in a small town think about moving to a larger one where you can be anonymous to your neighbors.

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    Newbie muse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    Oh man, i try to just not think about this but im studying Law and hope to go on quite far in the legal heirachy. That is so going to be me in 20 years......But i love what i do, should i compromise that for my possible future?!

    Oh, and Redvelvet, babe, weigh up the pro's and con's. Whichever is higher, do! Maybe do a list by yourself then compare with your boyfriends?!?

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    Member calikristen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    I'm looking. I'm pretty sure I saved it somewhere...

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    Veteran Member BeBe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    It's not what your boyfriend thinks and what he is so worried about, it's what you think and what you are worried about. Dancing affects everyone differently. It's near impossible to predict your outcome. If dancing is something that you can justify doing, than do it. Everyone has an opinion and many will pass judgment on you once you're in the business, but if this is something that you have made the decision to do, than stand by it and make the most of it. Deal with whatever problems you encounter as they come and keep it moving. This may work for you, but you'll never know if you allow outsiders to manipulate your decision making.

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    Veteran Member redvelvetrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    I was originally thinking of dancing during the summers to save up money for school (rather than doing crappy factory work).
    As far as people judging me, that's not my top worry. I know it wouldn't be all that great being at home around people who think I'm a slut, but as far as I see it, if people aren't willing to actually look at your point of view and try to understand your side of it, but instead blindly go with their uniformed opinions, then they aren't worth your time. Even if they are family, as difficult as it may be (although I suppose that's just my opinion; I don't really have the tightest bonds with my family).
    As far as cities go... I live in a city near Milwaukee. I rarely ever go into Milwaukee, and it's a fairly big city, so I don't think I'd have to worry too much about seeing people, although I could look at clubs a little farther away.
    Thing is...I'm kind of drawn to stripping as a challenge. It would be like proving to myself that yes, I am a strong woman, not afraid of my body and sexuality, who is able to put up with crap from people and is able to bring men to their knees. Something along those lines...

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    The main thing is stripping is a JOB just like any other job/business. There are many businesses that are controversial to conservative mainstream Americans who of course are owned by individuals who could care less what people think of them.

    The problem is, dancers who go into this business only looking for quick money, or who feel they have to hide from those they know cannot truly be as successful and make as much money.People go to school for years and school never really teaches one how to make money. A degree doesn't guarantee money, as most people who work at jobs aren't well off, are they? People who earn their money in creative ways, and out of the mainstream have the most money.

    It's not what you do but how you do it. If you're going to dance, see this as a business because that's what it is. Go in everyday and treat it just like any other sales job.Selling dances is no different than selling suits or cars. YOu are there to make the maximum sales. I wouldn't get into the psychology of the male species, or trying to break a man down.Most guys who go to clubs are regular guys.

    Life is all about making money and using that money to gain finacial security. If you have the discipline to go to work EVERYDAY at a set time, just like you would at a rat race job, save a certain percentage of money EVERYDAY, and shrug off conservative or immature people who diss you, you will be fine. Looking to find work where no one will see you is not good. Put your whole heart into the business and those you will attract in the outside world will respect you, and you will make money from it.

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    I've danced and I've done films.

    I honestly feel like shame and the "slut" label is what you make of it. People have found out before. I don't go around telling everyone, but the "wrong" people have found out before.

    What works for me is holding my head high and refusing to be shamed. I know what I've done. I'm proud of what I've done. It shows business savvy and moxy.

    You'll find that a lot of successful people are former dancers and sex workers (actresses, prostitutes, pro dommes, etc). It has definitely helped me to find a community of these women and to learn from them.

    And that has a lot to do with refusing to accept the cultural conditioning that one should feel badly for dancing.

    At least for me. Everyone is different.

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    Veteran Member AlluringAva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    I applaud what you have to say prrfektwurld...in refusing to be shamed. We live in a culture here in the US especially that has Puritanical roots...and in most societies around the world, a woman who takes control of her sexuality and is not ashamed to use it is seen as a threat.

    When I got booted off that one forum because a bunch of nosy people went Googling and came up with some sites that had my old magazine photos on it as well as the info that I'm now a dancer, my first thought was to try to explain to them why I had made these choices, but then, if they were narrow-minded enough to begin with to throw me off a message board because of being a DANCER then they were not worth my time to begin with!

    I can see the repercussions of dancing in some of the girls at work who have worked for long periods of time and don't seem to have any goals in sight. Ideally it seems to me that a person doing this should have some goals, financial or otherwise, within reach. But you have to have a good balance between work and your own personal life...a lot of girls seem to have nothing going on for them BUT the strip club.

    When I come home I immediately take a long hot bath and just let work slide off me, literally...the glitter and makeup and everything. Work is left at work...when I come home, I snuggle with my cats

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    I don't think that ever letting work take over is a good idea, no matter what your line of work.

    You have to keep reminding yourself that it's just a job. That's how I thrived when I danced.

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    there was a women on the apprentice last season who was a stripper
    trump was fine with it

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    I could be wrong but I thought Trump wasn't fine with it. He said he didn't know she was a stripper until the filming of the show began. He was on Jay Leno talking about it and apparently something happened with a possesive customer or something that stirred something up on the show. I wathed the entire season and didn't see anything, they must have cut it out. Do you or anyone know which girl was the stripper? I'm very curious to know.

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    Would stripping affect a teaching career in California? What if you never were charged for prostitution while you were stripping and otherwise clean and qualified?

    And what if you wanted to teach high school or college?

    My mom had a middle school teacher who was an ex gang banger with knife scars and everything.

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    Oh... that was me btw.

    The boy and I moved in together last week.

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    I'll throw out this comment for anybody who is thinking about dealing with 'other people's votes', 'other people's money' or 'other people's children' in the future (i.e. careers in politics, law, medicine, education etc.) ...

    In the vast majority of clubs today, in order to earn decent money some or all dancers are being forced to work in an environment where they're technically in violation of the law. I'm talking about state prostitution laws or alcohol control laws which consider lap dances and casual customer contact to be technically illegal. Clubowners will probably not inform the dancers of this fact, and will probably encourage it because it increases their profits. Local law enforcement will probably ignore this fact as well, as long as the clubowner continues to contribute to the police 'widows and orphans' fund. Local politicians and DA's will probably also ignore the issue if given the choice. As a result, clubs can operate for years with 'standard procedures' and 'club rules' which are technically illegal, but never questioned or prosecuted.

    The risk of course is that if some local bible thumper starts stirring up trouble, or if election year rolls around, or if a new DA decides to make a 'name' for himself, all of a sudden that club which has been doing the same sort of things for the past decade without ever being hassled can suddenly be busted. Dancers can wind up being charged with prostitution or lewd conduct or some other sex related misdemeanor charge. Once charged, bogus or legitimate, it is nearly impossible for a dancer to 'prove her innocence' versus the testimony of a well respected local cop - given a 'good ol boy' local judge and a jury made up of jealous housewives, bible thumping retirees, civil servants etc. Thus every dancer runs some degree of risk that if she continues to dance long enough she will eventually be busted and a sex related misdemeanor charge will be added to her permanent record.

    In many types of jobs, the potential employer will take such a charge with a 'grain of salt', will realize that the girl seeking a straight job is smart, ambitious etc. But in certain professions, i.e. those professions dealing with 'other people's votes', 'other people's money', and 'other people's children', the potential employer will very probably avoid any possibility of negative feedback/publicity like the plague and simply shit-can an ex-dancer's resume. If a dancer has zero official record of her having been a dancer, she can simply leave that little historical tidbit off of her resume'. However, once a dancer has been busted, that option no longer exists.

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie
    Once charged, bogus or legitimate, it is nearly impossible for a dancer to 'prove her innocence' versus the testimony of a well respected local cop - given a 'good ol boy' local judge and a jury made up of jealous housewives, bible thumping retirees, civil servants etc.
    Melonie, while i agree as stated, what are the factual trends(if any) across the nation? Has there been a thread polling results/records from dancers who have been ticketed? I'm curious if most ticketed dancers plea and no record of it exists, or if they paid or fought it, or if no matter what they did in court it stayed on their record.

    Here is an interesting "vice tactic" news report from Dallas several years ago.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Default Re: Repercussions of Dancing?

    At least he worries. So take that as a big compliment, it shows that he cares and loves you.

    As for repercussions, that's really up to you and how you handle things. Treat it as a job, and recognize the signs of burn out and take breaks when you need to and you should be fine. Bouncers are there for a reason, although they are not always watching, and paying attention to every single girl working the floor.

    as for other repercussions, such as when you quit and go to work outside of the club atmosphere, you have to prepare yourself that if you remain in the same town, city etc, you could potentially run into someone who will recognize you at some point. I used to think that people "forget", I have been out for close to two years now, and I still get the "aren't you such and such from the Spearamint Rhino??"... yeah... nice especially when they don't think before they speak and your kids are right there...

    Bottom line is, is that you know yourself and what you can and can not handle or deal with. Communicate with your boyfriend, make him aware of how your night at work is when you work, and don't take any crap off of custy's.. just lay rules out and stick to them.

    Good luck.


    As for Melonie's post- yes Mel, it is so true that when you deal with votes, other people's children or money, and any trace of being an ex dancer will ruin it. My daughter has been affected by this, as one of the parents in the school she attended three years ago, petitioned to have her removed... why? Because Mommy worked at a Gentlemen's club... the school didn't care as long as they were getting their money and she paid in full for a year up front, but when I posed the question- "Why would this man think I do that for a living unless of course, he patronizes the place?" He shut up and it wasn't an issue. Fuck with my kids and all hell breaks loose.


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