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Thread: "submissive" customer

  1. #1
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default "submissive" customer

    I have this one customer who is basically a nice guy .He spends money and is always good for $300-$400 and he keeps telling me that he is a submissive. He wants me to order him around and he even wanted my girlfriend to slap him if I would give her permission. I know he's harmless, but I'm not entirely comfortable with this and I'm not sure what his boundries are. I mean what do I order him to do and how hard is it OK to slap a customer ? I've run into a handful of these over the years and I guess it's just not my personality(being dominant) but I suppose I could learn.It's money,right? ....Has anyone else run into this ? Any advice or suggestions ?

  2. #2
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    I have a guy who comes in to see me. He is very sweet, but very very submissive. He wants to be hit, slapped, called all kinds of names, the works. I don't normally do this, but the guy is harmless, just wants to be beat up, so I do it.
    If it makes you uncomfortable though, don't do it. Some girls are ok being aggressive, but it is fine if you don't want to. Just tell him it is not really your thing.

  3. #3
    Newbie sacred666's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    Hello,

    I'm not sure if I should post here as I am a customer, so please excuse me if this isn't right.

    You may want to use your role as a dominant to find and/or set the boundaries that you will both work under. For instance, slap him fairly lightly, just hard enough that it would sting a little, and say, "Does this slave need a harder punishment? Answer me!" If he assents then go a little harder. When he doesn't want it any harder caress his face and tell him "Good boy."

    Play with it like that, you'll find that a sub usually likes a fair amount of pain but needs to work up to it slowly to start the endorphins and such. Also remember fire and ice, the dichotomy of pleasure in pain is the art of punishment and soothing. Slap then caress. Insult then console.

    I would also say try not to be too freaked out by it, this guy wants this just like the other guy wants you to grind on him. A lot of people like this sort of thing, and if this guy is like most, he trusts you. BDSM is, in most cases, a very intimate thing where a lot of trust and comfort is placed in each other.

    First and foremost however, be sure you are okay with doing it, and if so have fun.

  4. #4
    God/dess holiday's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    Wow ^^^^ that was some good advice. I'll have to remember all that.
    Sounds like you may have a little experience...

  5. #5
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    Some girls are naturals with handling subs, but yes, it can quite lucrative for any dancer to learn how to handle these guys. Men like this are often very shy in letting people know they like this sort of thing, so once they have a gal who will work with them, they tend to stay with her. Its easier for them to work with a gal who is comfortable with doing it, than trying to give the word to a new gal who might find the request repulsive.

    The key to maximizing the potential with this sort of thing is to sell it to him that you're "into it". In many respects that illusion is what he's paying you for as much as the "abuse".

    I think that you can well up to this sort of thing with time and practice, but if he can sense that you're uncomfortable, it may diminish the experience for him. In any case, there's often a bevy of specific details he wants you to follow, so if you're unsure about something, don't be afraid to ask him.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  6. #6
    Newbie sacred666's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    I play a little. But, being a dom does NOT bode well in a strip club for a customer at all. I don't even think about talking about it. Although I do imagine it sometimes if I'm with a particularly attractive girl. I tend to invest a significant amount of emotional attachment in any sub I play with, so it would be bad even IF she was into that sort of thing.

    So, I stick with my circle of friends to play. The SC is strictly a straight game.

  7. #7
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    Seems like good advice 666. The concept doesn't freak me out ,I am just unsure of how to proceed and what would be approriate at work. I doubt my boss wants be smacking the shit out of custys on the floor.We usually head to VIP thankfully. Good suggestions...keep 'em coming!

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    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    Always go over their boundries with them ahead of time. If they are THAT into it, they will have no problem with guiding you if you're new to this. And ALWAYS make sure this is something your club isnt going to crawl up your ass about. It isnt always easy to find "BDSM lite" friendly managers...
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
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  9. #9
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ
    Seems like good advice 666. The concept doesn't freak me out ,I am just unsure of how to proceed and what would be approriate at work. I doubt my boss wants be smacking the shit out of custys on the floor.We usually head to VIP thankfully. Good suggestions...keep 'em coming!
    Yes! Make sure you are not doing this in front of everybody...I've had some submissive guys who like verbal abuse in front of people in the club, but he should be paying you for your domme skills. It might scare some of your 'vanilla' customers away from doing dances with you, or even talking to you, if they see you slapping someone. LOL It may not look like a consensual thing to an innocent bystander.

    And yes, once you learn them, they become skills you can use for future customers that enjoy being submissive. If you carry yourself the right way with these guys and have a reputation for being knowledgeable and trustworthy, they will come back.

    You can try other playful things like:
    ~threatening to poke him 'there' with your stilettos - you can also knee him there
    ~use body language to indicate bondage (holding his hands down while you say nasty things to him, standing over him menacingly with one leg up by his shoulder, etc) - a quick note: you should always remain physically above him to reinforce your dominant position
    ~squeeze and pinch his nipples - HARD
    ~have him massage your feet
    ~choke him (lightly) - or just hold your hand at his throat - you never want to really deprive someone of air for any period of time
    ~make a lot of eye contact and tell him what a [pig, slut, worm, faggot] he is

    A lot of these activities are just simple ideas and of course it is always extremely important that you do things WITHIN HIS LIMITS - some of these he may not enjoy, but they are simple suggestions that will usually get you by. Next time he comes into the club, you should have a talk with him about the things that really get him going and the things he doesn't like or are limits for him.
    Make sure you check with management that these things are allowed in your club. Mine is really low contact so I have to be careful and think of creative ways to dominate in the back room. I've also been a professional domme for 6 years so I have studied this at length and have developed ways of using these techniques subtly in semi-public settings...
    Spend some time OTC thinking of different things you can do and the rewards will be great!

    There are also great ideas in the forums of this site:

  10. #10
    Veteran Member calliope7's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    You might also want to establish a safe word, because sometimes when they say no, they don't really mean it. Such as red=it's to far and yellow=its getting close to getting to far. This is considered common and safe practice in BDSM anyways, plus it will give you the peace of mind that he has a way to communicate to you when you test his boundaries.

  11. #11
    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    This is all very intriguing to me ......

  12. #12
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    submissive guys are fun! I had thought weird of this idea at first until I had a customer who liked being hurt, it got fun for me..
    Last edited by exotisch23; 04-04-2006 at 09:53 PM.

  13. #13
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    Quote Originally Posted by calliope7
    You might also want to establish a safe word, because sometimes when they say no, they don't really mean it. Such as red=it's to far and yellow=its getting close to getting to far. This is considered common and safe practice in BDSM anyways, plus it will give you the peace of mind that he has a way to communicate to you when you test his boundaries.
    Absolutely! I can't believe I forgot to mention that...there are so many other things I probably forgot too....and because BDSM is such a complex and variable pastime, I can't explain it all in one reply...it's really a good idea to research these things at length outside of the forum too.
    A serious activity done incorrectly can be really dangerous. Never do anything you are not 100% comfortable with, and have not researched beforehand.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    For me it depends on what type of night I have had before you ask me to dominate, lol. If it's been bad I don't mind throwing out a little abuse. The other night I had a guy ask me to break a barstool over his back for 100 dollars. I was seriously considering it, lol. I said well, if we can sign a contract saying you won't sue me for the damage done to you and you pay the manager for the stool I am going to break then fine, hehe. I was sort of joking but I seriously wouldn't have minded slapping him around a bit if he wanted it. I guess it basically depends on what the guy specifically wants. If he just wants to be bossed around than fine, you tell him he is going to sit there and watch you dance while thinking about what he can't have and give you his money when you are done. Make him ask you for permission for everything. If he wants some serious damage I would seriously consult a dominatrix or think about having a contract signed or something. PaigeDWinter I think knows a bit of info about dominating.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: "submissive" customer

    Domination can be a mixture of pain, humiliation, and control, or it can be just one. Get the guy to tell you about a fantasy or a past experience or what turns him on so that you can see what he's into.



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