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Thread: I've outed myself (rant)

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Angry I've outed myself (rant)

    So I was in a class this morning, and we were discussing whether or not a person has to like their job to be able to do it well. Some idiot, who had been pissing me off from the beginning of class with his stupid questions, turns to the professor and says, "I guess it's like being a stripper. I mean they hate their job until they get their paycheck. C'mon, they have to get naked for money..." He just kept going on and on and I got so pissed that I opened my mouth and said, "That's not true. I'm a dancer and I LOVE my job." He then asked me if other dancers do and I said, "Every dancer I know enjoys her job." My professor agreed saying that one would probably have to like being a dancer to do it, but then said, "But that's not a career, it's just a job." I then proceeded to explain how one could make dancing a career, and that many people do.

    After sticking up for our profession, I then realized that I may have made a mistake. Why? Because my mom works at my school (she's worked here for 22 years) and my professor knows my mom (she used to work for my mother) and many of her colleagues. My mother knows what I do, but I don't think that she wants everyone at her job knowing. My only hope is that my professor doesn't actually know that I'm "Michele's Daughter", even though everyone I come into contact with knows b/c I look just like my mom.

    Damn this society. Why should I have to live like this? I'm very proud to be a dancer. If only the rest of the world could accept that.

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've outed myself (rant)

    oh man girl... oh well.. theres nothing you can do about it now... i wouldn't worry.... your dancing shouldn't affect the outcome of your grade for any reason....

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    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've outed myself (rant)

    You don't have to stay in the closet. I've been very open with my family on a number of controversial issues including this job. They got over it. Talk to your Mom ahead of time and let her know what you said. She may even be proud that you stood up for yourself.

    Continue to carry yourself with pride. Take some time to emotionally accept the fact that everyone won't agree that the job is good enough for you. The assh*les will leave you alone if you are certain because they only try to shame people if they think you won't give a strong protest.

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    Default Re: I've outed myself (rant)

    i know how you feel!

    Im a dancer and I was also born trans. Im one of the many silent trannys who live, work, love, just like everybody else and noone need ever know.

    well, do you know how many times i am hanging out with someone, and somehow the subject of transgender comes up, and tehy mouth off something about them being "freaks" or "pitiful" or deny them the gender they choose to identify as.
    and here i am two feet from them just dying a little bit inside.
    kinda like how fags and lesbians used to have to live in silence.
    i wonder how many times someone has mouthed off a bad comment about trannys and there was a trans-friend sitting right next to them. must happen hundreds of times a day!

    SO, after becoming a dancer, i now have another layer of something i dont really feel comfortable telling most people.
    i mean, when you meet a cute boy and you're flirting, etc. i dont always want to say, 5 questions into meeting the guy, "What do you do?" "Oh im a dancer."
    "A dancer huh? what kinda dancing?" "uhh... the exotic kind "
    i mean im proud to be a dancer, but i know it instantly puts sex on their minds and i dont always want to take things there right away!

    My advice: people are tattle-tales in my experience. best thing to do is mention that you dont want it spread around, but dont indicate that you really care, because then you increase the profile of that secret he knows.
    more like, say that you love it and it pays well, but keep it quiet cause you dont want to mix those two aspects of your life.
    just my humble advice.
    -k

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've outed myself (rant)

    Quote Originally Posted by Optimist
    You don't have to stay in the closet. I've been very open with my family on a number of controversial issues including this job. They got over it. Talk to your Mom ahead of time and let her know what you said. She may even be proud that you stood up for yourself.
    Exactly!

    Hey Greggy, what did you professor have to say when you explained to him how stripping could be used as a career?? Did your stand on this issue seem to perk the classes interest? Maybe got them to thinking outside of the usual box? I sure hope so.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Veteran Member Feiticeira's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've outed myself (rant)

    Well,I just wanted to pop in and say that at least "I" am proud of you Greggy.Go girl!

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    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've outed myself (rant)

    Thanks, Feiticeira.
    CK, my professor seemed somewhat surprised when I explained how it could be a career (she's a woman btw). She stopped short of saying, "I stand corrected." She just said, "Well, being that you're on the career path of being a doctor, it would just be a job for you. But apparently, it can be a career for others." She quickly moved on from there. I was willing to accept that. The guy who made the stupid comment proceeded to undress me with his eyes. I was sitting in the back of the room, and everyone turned around and looked at me once I said, "Well, I'm a dancer..." I hope it did open eveyone elses mind.

    I doubt if my professor would actually open her mouth to the rest of her colleagues (at least I hope not).
    "What do you do?" "Oh im a dancer."
    "A dancer huh? what kinda dancing?" "uhh... the exotic kind [img]images/smilies/cool.gif[/img] "
    lol, I had that conversation with two different people yesterday.

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    Default Re: I've outed myself (rant)

    I'm glad you stood up for yourself and the industry. If most dancers would do this, it would force society to be more accepting of our work, right?

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I've outed myself (rant)

    Congratulations, Greggy! :-)

    I know how you feel. I'm a graduate student, and I feel like it's hard enough in this particular program to be taken seriously as myself when acting as a woman (I think I could be taken seriously as a woman in this group if I wanted to play the part thoroughly, but I DON'T want to outside of work; I think of myself as neutral-gendered, and I don't like the female baggage -- I never want to be a mother or a housewife, and there's a sort of mental backtalk where a "woman" who doesn't want to be a mother or a housewife is thought of as young and frivolous, whereas a "man" or just "person" who doesn't want to be a mother or housewife just doesn't have to be.)

    So I've taken to dressing in very butch clothing when I'm there. Men's office shirts, etc. I even did a drag number at our pub night this season, because I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't to be seen as a standard-issue female.

    I haven't come out to the people in my graduate program as a stripper yet. But I want to. I've told a few of them, after getting to know them better. I've written a short piece in which I disassemble gender roles and personas as related to dancing, and I'm thinking I might read it sometime in front of my classmates.

    Why? Because I like to tear down expectations, again and again, until everyone says, "You win, Chaos. No more projections. We'll just take you at face value, and try to catch our breath."

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