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Thread: Job Application

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    Job Application

    This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

    NAME: Greg Bulmash.

    SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

    DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

    SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

    SIGN HERE: Aries.

  2. #2
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Job Application

    This has been emailed around for years and I still think it's funny!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  3. #3
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Job Application

    yup. I've seen that before but attributed to a forty year old guy. Still-- very funny.
    I'd love to do an experiment of applications for low paying jobs and see what the reactions would be...who would be willing to hire such a smartass

  4. #4
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Job Application

    I've never seen that before but it's funny as hell. I think I still have a copy of my brother's old resume, the first one he ever did. If I can find it and hide his name I'll post it. What is funny is that he is very smart and had no idea that the stuff he put in it wasn't appropriate. Just goes to show you that you can be smart as hell in one way and have no damn common sense.

  5. #5
    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Job Application

    When it looks like a hoax it usually is. Sorry guys, it's an uban legend..

    http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.htm

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
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    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

  6. #6
    Featured Member Guenevere's Avatar
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    Default Re: Job Application

    ^^ So what, they usually are LOL! It's still funny!

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