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Thread: what is too much?

  1. #1
    tampafldancer
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    Default what is too much?

    You love your best friend, you have a great connection... You two have started a life together..


    1)Could you stay with him/her throughout anything that came in your way? What is too much? What could they do to you to make you want to end it?

    2)Can you love someone so deeply and be ok not being with them?

  2. #2
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    Do you mean like love them as a friend or a lover? I have a boyfriend that I've pretty much broken up with that I also consider a very close friend and that's what has made the breakup so damn hard. I can't just write him off. It's not an easy situation. Not sure if that is the type of thing you mean or what.

  3. #3
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer
    2)Can you love someone so deeply and be ok not being with them?
    There's no way I could be OK with loving someone that deeply and not be with them.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  4. #4
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    There's different kinds of "love" though and different kinds of "being with" someone.

  5. #5
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    I was referring to being in love.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  6. #6
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    Your very best friend kind of love.

  7. #7
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    like what could they do to make you want to leave? Would you take about anything dished out?

  8. #8
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    yep, that's my problem. If someone is your best friend you don't want to hurt them or lose them but if you don't feel in love with them in a lovers kind of way anymore it's tough. Damn men.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer
    Your very best friend kind of love.
    Even if it's your best friend,if you love them that much,you will go through everything with them.I would.

    Quote Originally Posted by tampafldancer
    like what could they do to make you want to leave? Would you take about anything dished out?
    Lying to me about a personal matter.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  10. #10
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    I guess it would depend what they dished out. I am thinking about strictly as a friend now and I have had arguments with a couple good friends but we are very close. Certain things though are too much. Depends what they did.

    One of my friends had his dog with his roommate and long time friend during Hurricane Katrina. Her and her parents had his dog PUT TO SLEEP after the dog got into a fight with her parents' dog. My friend and this other friend had been close for years. That ended it. To me that would be enough to not want to deal with the person anymore, that type of thing.

  11. #11
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest
    Even if it's your best friend,if you love them that much,you will go through everything with them.I would.
    How would you feel if his parents called several of your friends checking up on you?
    Went behind your back to find numbers on your phone bill that you pay for?

  12. #12
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    that sounds kind of nosy to me. still, one of my good friend's has a sort of nutty mom. If she did somethng like that I wouldn't take it out on him. I'd just avoid his crazy mom!

  13. #13
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    i try to.. but she has done worse before.

    There was a nasty message on my answering machine from them saying really mean stuff.. Uh, all because the man I am LOVING went to them and told them everything i have done wrong for the past 3 years and NOTHING he has done. So then his dad says that he is coming to MY FUCKING house to QUOTE, "Pick his ass up." When i have been supporting him and taking care of their financial duties to their kid for 3 years!!! While the mom sits around and gets plastic surgery..

    AND ON TOP OF ALL THIS.. he lies to me about telling his parents everything i have done! straight faced! I confront him with the message and he is busted.

  14. #14
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    how old is this guy? Is he an only child? I know my dad's mom used to butt into stuff with my mom even after they were married and I think it's because he was an only child and she just had to be in his business.

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    A true friend and someone worthy of your love does not badmouth you behind your back or lie about it.

  16. #16
    tampafldancer
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    A true friend and someone worthy of your love does not badmouth you behind your back or lie about it.

    Thank you for that. I know that is true deep down. I can't figure out why its so hard to break it off.

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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    sometimes I think it's just hard to break out of what you are used to. I had the hardest time ending it with my bf because he was such a part of my life. Now that I've only seen him a couple times in the last couple weeks I realize that it's not that hard to live my life without him. It's just a matter of reconditioning yourself to something new and not staying with what is comfortable. Do you live with him? i'm guessing you do since you say something about supporting him.

  18. #18
    Sitri
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    In a long term relationship, there can be fights and issues but there can never be one person who is "right" and one person who is "wrong". When the "Search for the Guilty" starts, it is time to take a time out.

    Because ultimately, each person needs someone in their life that will stand beside them through all of the bullshit and watch their back. When you have to watch your own back from them, it is done.

    There are times when one person will screw up big and need to be forgiven, but the future and the relationship has to be good for both people. You should NEVER drag the relatives into sides of the argument because at that point they will never forget and the person will never be forgiven.

    It's hard to break up a long term relationship because fundamentally it's like being married and no one likes a relationship to end.

    Just an old man's experience.

  19. #19
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    Well, honestly, I loved someone very deeply...a long time ago. And, I came to the realization that although I loved him very deeply, we were not "good" together. We got along great together, and we had a lot of fun times, but when we lived together we just couldn't make it work. We were very similar but very different.

    Sometimes when you love someone that deeply, and you know you need to let them go, the most loving thing (for them and you) is to accept that and let go.

    I think if I had left that relationship much sooner, we probably would have still been friends. But, it ended very badly. Looking back, it would have been better to have had him as a friend as opposed to bitter enemies.

    But, if this question is about the boyfriend, it seems more to me that you are stalling and trying to find a way to get around what you, deep in your heart, know you need to do. It's hard, but believe me you'll breathe a sigh of relief.

    It's better to leave now than look back and wonder why you stayed and wasted 10 years being nice to someone. If you cannot look at this person and KNOW you can stay forever, then it's time to go. Maybe not forever, but for long enough to figure out what you want. Otherwise, you will spend the rest of your life wondering, "What if".

  20. #20
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    But, if this question is about the boyfriend, it seems more to me that you are stalling and trying to find a way to get around what you, deep in your heart, know you need to do. It's hard, but believe me you'll breathe a sigh of relief.
    I can tell you this is soooo true! I'm sitting here thinking why did I wait so long?

  21. #21
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is too much?

    What Yek, VG and FB said. A few months after you finally dump him, you will wonder what the hell you stayed around for in the first place.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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