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Thread: 6 Kinds of Sex

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    6 Kinds of Sex

    1. The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period; you keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

    2. The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage; you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen on the table, etc.

    3. The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

    4. The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!" This is also called oral sex by some.

    5. There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your spouse screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

    6. There is also Social Security Sex...that's when you get a little once a month but it's not enough to live on.

  2. #2
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Brilliant. No. 4 is my favorite.

  3. #3
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    I currently don't get any kind of sex.

    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  4. #4
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    OTB is looking for a sympathy shag, and I for one will not fall for this transparent ploy, no matter how much she begs....

  5. #5
    God/dess
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Yek, that is GREAT!! Can't wait to share this!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Haha! I love that...too funny!

  7. #7
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicagoeditor
    OTB is looking for a sympathy shag, and I for one will not fall for this transparent ploy, no matter how much she begs....
    Oh,baloney!!!!!
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  8. #8
    Member terydiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    i'm having # 5 sex right now in my life

  9. #9
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest
    I currently don't get any kind of sex.
    You know, all you have to do is ask (and maybe hang with a better crowd that allows decent choices).

    Are you quite sure you are not living among the Nuns? Seems to me that an attractive woman who wants sex and can't get any is more pathetic than a man who can't seem to get any. Just my own opinion.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  10. #10
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by threlayer
    You know, all you have to do is ask (and maybe hang with a better crowd that allows decent choices).

    Are you quite sure you are not living among the Nuns? Seems to me that an attractive woman who wants sex and can't get any is more pathetic than a man who can't seem to get any. Just my own opinion.
    I live in a town full of rednecks.I rather go without than be with one of them.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  11. #11
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Every single person ther is a redneck? Maybe find someone who hasn't lived there too long. If you moved you would not be the first person who moved to find quality companionship. Generally seems to me you are limiting yourself.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  12. #12
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    There's simply not enough people that are cultured here.It's rough trying to strike up a conversation about wine or the arts without their eyes glazing over.This is why I wanna move back out west.MUCH more culture and quality there.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  13. #13
    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest
    I currently don't get any kind of sex.

    I'll fall for the ploy!

    When are you moving back here?
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

  14. #14
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by Silverback
    I'll fall for the ploy!

    When are you moving back here?
    I still don't know yet.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  15. #15
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    OTB...i have room for u in my bed...

  16. #16
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest
    I currently don't get any kind of sex.

    LMAO, same here girl..I totally sympathize







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  17. #17
    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by onlythebest
    I currently don't get any kind of sex.

    Maybe your type just needs a little help?


  18. #18
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by lunchbox
    Maybe your type just needs a little help?

    Instead of blue balls, we'll get blue clit I dont' like that feeling LB...







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


  19. #19
    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by lunchbox
    Maybe your type just needs a little help?
    I wanna strangle you for that.

    Quote Originally Posted by proMarket
    OTB...i have room for u in my bed...
    What do you look like???
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




  20. #20
    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses
    Instead of blue balls, we'll get blue clit I dont' like that feeling LB...
    hehe, I didn't mean it for her

  21. #21
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    cute but depressing! I hope it's not like that for me!

  22. #22
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    How about the Roadrunner Cartoon Sex: You're completely familiar with it, there's no surprises, but it keeps being entertaining enough that you'll go through it again.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Very funny !!

  24. #24
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    Love itm especially #4

  25. #25
    Featured Member blondi553's Avatar
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    Default Re: 6 Kinds of Sex

    someone told me that today, how funny i find it here the same day. o and btw when he told me it, it didnt have the social security sex so i still got a kick out of it heheheh

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