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Thread: Stripping while depressed

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    Veteran Member katerina29's Avatar
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    Default Stripping while depressed

    I've had depression on and off for years. The other day at work a girl was saying that I was always so quiet - I'm not shy I'm just so depressed that sometimes it's hard to talk. I used to find that I could fake being happy really easily, but now it's getting harder. And if you're not happy it's hard to sell dances. People keep saying how pretty I am, and I think all the commenting about my body (even though its positive) makes me feel anxious and self-conscious.
    I have also gotten more sensitive, like if a guy I like or dance for also dances with another dancer I take it personally. I took a break but I'm back as I need the money. Does anyone else have these problems? And what if anything do you do to make you feel better for work?
    Thanks girls.

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    Featured Member francescadubois's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    Well, honey, God bless you. I went through the same thing and I just quit. I was depressed because of the job. Maybe you need to think about WHY you're depressed. What makes you sad? Write a list about the things that make you upset and what makes you happy. If dancing is depressing you, get another job and take a break. Bartending is decent money. Maybe cocktail waitressing. Good luck. I know it can be hard sometimes.

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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    I feel the same a lot of times. Sometimes it helps to talk to some friends at work or even the housemom. I try to ignore or pay little attention to what dances other's are doing and worry about how I might make money. Just be friendly to people and treat them the way you would want to be treated. A lot of men feel awkward themselves. Go up, introduce yourself and make small talk. "Where are you from", What's your name"?, etc. It's helps to break the ice with them and you. I don't always recommend being best friends with other entertainers but over four years time at my club I have a few friends I can talk to and it really helps a lot. We also have a good housemom that will listen and tell you all her problems, after you hear her problems you suddenly feel better about your own.

    I use to use nursing to help me get my mind off myself. But it's a double edged sword too. If you feel down and self-pity then if makes you feel better to get your mind off yourself and help someone else. However, if you feel great and someone dies on you it can bring you down.

    I hope you feel better hon. Get out and get some exercise, that helps a lot too.

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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    I don't know what to say, because I battle a mild form of depression as well, and have for years. I think what Frances said makes a lot of sense. When you took your break, did you find yourself being happier? Are you happier when you know you don't have to work? For the next couple of weeks, keep a diary and write down when you are depressed. Does it coincide with work?

    My mom, years ago, was working at the post office and hated it, but continued doing it. One day she was walking to work, and without even realizing it, by the time she got there she was sobbing: that's how much it was depressing her. She quit that day. Some people, some environments, some places, suck the energy and happiness from you instead of giving you energy and joy, and you need to discover if where you are is doing that.

    If you don't feel that it is really work, and this depression has been going on awhile, you might want to consider some mild anti-depressants. I'm on the fence on it. A part of me wants to take them because sometimes I feel sad for no apparent reason and just have a general feeling of being not as good as I could be, but another part of me just doesn't want to go on meds.

    I feel for you.

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    Newbie honeysugar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    Cheer up! it takes a strong woman to make it in this business and you've made it this far so meet your goals and move on! Remember that this is a job and to make it a carrere like any other field you have to stay focused and detach yourself emotionally, it's all about the money and if your good you can have all that you desire. The money has always been a drive for me considering what some people have to do daily to make ends meet, getting paid to party is cake. Take advantageof it before your shelf rack value x-pires and make the best of the job. Much love, I've been dancing for 11 yrs. and love it!!

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    Veteran Member Genevive's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    I'm so glad i found this thread! I'm kinda going through this too. I recently got laid off from my job and now I want to go back to dancing, but I have a mental block that is preventing me from getting there. I think I'll try some of the suggestions on this thread and get out there and look at it as going to a party and mingling. If I make money, cool, if not, I'll try another shift until I feel comfortable.

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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    Quote Originally Posted by Izabella
    ...Some people, some environments, some places, suck the energy and happiness from you instead of giving you energy and joy, and you need to discover if where you are is doing that.
    This is so true...

    And the club I have been working in is a prime example of it, which is why I just told them to cut back my nights to only one, while I regroup.

    I have spent the last year working with a lot of depressed dancers, and I was good at it, but it has taken a lot out of me. Now I am not exactly depressed, but burned out, especially after the special events here.

    i think if you are going to survive in this business you need to develop a core strength that is unaffected by the nightly bullshit that can so easily bring you down, especially in some clubs.

    Meditation, self-hypnosis, or other forms of confidence-building are quite helpful. Best of all are activities that make you feel positive, outside of work, preferably something creative that gives you a good feeling, independent from the kind of feeling you get from finding a good customer--because you can't always count on that.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Featured Member thechaosfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    Look up 5-HTP on this forum . . .

    It helps me quite a bit. :-)

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    I'm glad you posted on this. Success in this job really seems to depend on projecting a positive, fun, happy persona, which is hard enough in itself, and can be really painful when you're depressed.

    I took a break from dancing last year and started taking Lexapro, which is basically an updated version of Prozac. It was incredibly helpful, with no real side effects, and while I know people respond differently to the same medications, I would reccomend it as a safe and effective treatment. I also did a year of yoga teacher training, which gave me a much better perspective on my emotions and how to manage them.

    I started dancing again in October, and it has been much easier. However, I do notice that dancing can effect my mood negatively, and sometimes it takes a lot of effort to keep those feelings under control. Once in a while if I'm planning to work a night shift I'll build up so much dread about going in that when the time rolls around, I can't get myself to go. I'm hoping I'll learn to deal with these feelings and be able to keep dancing, but if it ever gets to the point where I feel like dancing is self-destructive for me, I'll stop. Money is great, but sanity is better.

    Good luck!

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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    [QUOTE I took a break from dancing last year and started taking Lexapro, which is basically an updated version of Prozac. It was incredibly helpful, with no real side effects, and while I know people respond differently to the same medications, I would reccomend it as a safe and effective treatment.
    [/QUOTE]

    I'm glad Lexapro worked for you but I'm advising everyone else to use caution while taking it. I was on Lexapro for a couple months about 2 yrs ago and I gained 20 lbs in less than 2 months and still haven't been able to lose all of it! I've lost about 10 of it but those last 10 WILL NOT come off for the life of me! Especially being a dancer and being depressed, gaining weight will only make you feel worse!

    I've dealt with depression on and off and it's so hard! I've found exercising helps to reduce it and doing whatever possible to make me feel better. Getting plenty of sleep, eating right, pampering myself like spa trips, baths, facials,etc. and staying active in my social life. If I don't stay social with friends, that will make me lonely and make my depression come back sooner.

    Good luck! I know depression is horrible, you feel really tired all the time and feel like you're worthless and that there's a black cloud over your head. If you want to talk, just PM! Hope you feel better, try to take care of yourself and do what makes you feel better, even if it means leaving dancing. NO AMOUNT OF MONEY is worth depression!

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    God/dess Miss Jessica's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    I've been having a similar problem lately, but I highly doubt it has much if anything to do with my job... But it is messing with my hustle at work. Take the advice on having an active social life. I think that's what's been messing with me lately. Spending too much time with a new boyfriend and neglecting my friends. Never good.
    "We all must suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. In order to achieve what others don't, you have to do what others won't."


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    Veteran Member Aprilleigh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    unfortunately i have never encountered clinical depression but i know that sometimes when it's hard to put a smile on your face and get out there, i spend ten minutes thinking about something that lifts my spirit. do you have something that inspires you? a little something that makes you smile, like a picture a niece drew you or a picture of an old friend at a party that you had an awsome time at? just spending 10 minutes away from it all remembering something that makes me happy can sometimes be enough to get out there with a fresh attitude,
    you could always try it,

    and remember to talk about your issues, there are many wonderful people here to offer their ear for you when you need it, don't keep your shit locked in your head..

    good luck sweetie
    XXX
    Appearing at Dreams Gentlemen's Club, Melbourne

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    Veteran Member katerina29's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    Thanks for all the replies and great advice. I had been depressed before I started dancing, and I can't take a break because I'm repaying a student loan. Some nights when I'm making money I'm really happy, but when the club is slow I get really down and then appear to the customers as desperate. Tonight was the worst night ever - I worked for only 3 hours and I made 20 dollars. I usually make a lot more. It's hard to feel happier especially after such a bad day. I did a search and was surprised at how many depressed dancers there are. All of the customers say I'm so pretty and think I have this great life - but really I'm so down. And the attention about my looks is making me self conscious. Sorry for the rant. I'm going to talk to my doctor next week about going back on some medication. I'm tired of spending my youth being depressed.

  14. #14
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    Gee that sounds like my male friend M***...yes, the same guy friend who works at Acme and has had terrible luck securing a "real" job a few years after college graduation. Take his bad luck with jobs, times it by ten, and you get his bad luck with girls and dating. He will stand alone at a bar like a wallflower, with his hand propping up his face, with a bored/miserable expression on his face. I'll be like "talk, let's go mingle!" and he'll be like "But I don't know what to talk about." It's not that he's shy, it's that he gets depressed/nervous talking. This depression comes from a lack of confidence, incurred mostly by his bad jobs, numerous rejections from girls in the past, and the fact that he still lives with his parents and can't afford to move out. He claims that the times that he is happy, occurs when he is putting on an "act", an act which he constructs to meet what he thinks people want him to be like(it doesn't work!!). Each year that I've known him since he got outta college, has been getting worse...probably because with each year that goes by that he hasn't found a good enough job to be able to move outta his parents' house, his self-esteem takes more of a plummet. I wonder if he has some form of depression. That, and an obsessively extreme case of low confidence. I would suggest that he seek medicine, but he is the type of guy who thinks he's supposed to hold in all emotion, so he'd probably avidly reject that idea.

    Maybe he should read this column and see if he relates to it at all? I'm trying to help him regain his confidence.

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    Stripping while depressed is very, very hard. It is difficult to act happy, sociable, and flirty when you really want to crawl into a corner and cry. I dealt with the last several months, and finally ended up throwing in the towel (it was my time though). You have to get to the root of the problem and figure out what is causing the depression. If you can, take a few days off from dancing and focus on feeling better. Also, if you have health insurance, I highly recommend talking to a therapist.

    Good luck, and feel better. I am sorry you are going through this.

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    Newbie jimsixeven's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping while depressed

    If I may, I'm only a custy, but the subject of depression is a very personal one for me. I have struggled with clinical depression my entire adult life -- and probably part of my childhood, too without realizing it.

    Depression is a huge topic unto itself. While your question is specifically about working the club while depressed, and I can't address that, I've had to sound upbeat and enthusiastic on the radio while in a deep funk, so I can sort of relate.

    There are many forms of depression, and any one of them can be different for different people. That's why you become a human guinea pig in the beginning when it comes to medication. The doctor (working in conjunction with a psychologist, prefereably), or the psychiatrist (who, unlike a psychologist, actually has a medical license and can prescribe drugs) will have to make an educated guess about which medication to try first and what dosage you should initially take. Over time, the dosage may be increased or decreased, or perhaps a completely different medication will be prescribed. You have to really look at your moods and be on the lookout for side effects, and report these to the person treating you.

    That assumes you have "clinical depression" -- an actual imbalnce in the chemistry of your brain. If the circumstances of your life are the problem, talking with a good counselor (psychologist) on a regular basis may be all you need. It can't hurt, at least.

    But there again, some people in the field of therapy are better than others. Some are people you can relate to, and some are not. There's no reason to stick with a therapist if he or she just doesn't seem right to you somehow.

    Make sure whoever you consult is properly licensed and accredited. Laws and standards of ethics differ by state. Go with "traditional" therapies first. Do NOT jump into some trendy, crunchy-granola, create-your-own-reality, self-help book-publishing profit machine. Do NOT patronize a publicity hound. Find a care giver who is qualified and can offer genuine proof of competitance. (The American Counseling Association certification is one example.)

    And please know that the mere fact that you are seeking help is a very positive sign. You want to feel better, you deserve to feel better, and you can. But just like diets or exercise regimens, you have to do the work and stick with it to get results. And you can: people far worse off than you have done so very successfully.

    Having said all that, check the yellow pages, ask your friends, or even ask your medical doctor for a referral. And if money is an issue, there are some places around that charge on a sliding scale. And if you're REALLY broke, there may be a clinic in your area which will charge you nothing.

    A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. You've already taken the first one, so keep going!

    Bless you and good luck.

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