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Thread: The Perfect Butt

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    Default The Perfect Butt

    Think you've got a booty to rival Beyonce's? Now you can find out — with scientific certainty.

    A team of British academics has developed a mathematical formula to determine just how perfect your posterior is.

    "The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless skin," said Dr. David Holmes, a psychology lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, who devised the formula for measuring one's moons.

    And the Rosetta Stone of bootyliciousness is: (S+C) x (B+F) / (T-V).

    While it may look complicated, getting to the bottom of the formula is easy, Holmes insists.

    First, a woman assesses her assets on a scale from 1 to 20 (1 being worst and 20 best) in the following categories:

    * S = overall shape (a ripe peach being just about right)

    * C = circularity (rounder is better)

    * B = bounciness (less wobble is preferred)

    * F = firmness (too much push to that cushion loses points)

    * T = skin texture (no cellulite, please)

    Then calculate this:

    * V = the ratio of one's hips to waist. Finally, do the math.

    While everyone may aspire to cans of J.Lo or Jessica Simpson proportions, balance is key to achieving the perfect score of approximately 80.

    "Slender thighs and hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well, perfectly," Holmes said.

    "Kylie [Minogue] would score amazingly well on sphericality and symmetry. Her bottom is perfect in those categories, more so than the likes of . . . Jennifer Lopez, who has a more curvy posterior," he said.

    Interestingly, a poll of 2000 people across England found that while women sided with J. Lo's rump as the best, men preferred Minogue's.

    But science really settles nothing, says booty expert Sir-Mix-A-Lot.

    "They got to be juicy, round, with a little jiggle to it," the "Baby Got Back" rapper told The Post yesterday, laughing hysterically. "The bubbliness does matter."

    But there's only one way to measure the most desirable derriere, he said.

    "You know it when you see it," he said. "We could debate this all day."

  2. #2
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    If someone demanded to me on how my ass should look(even though my ass is good to go), you better believe i'll demand that your cock must be as big as Peter North's a.k.a. "the Perfect Cock"

    Phhhtt....Just saying.

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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Who the F*ck does Dr. David Holmes, a psych lecturer (hahaha), think he is to determine the perfect ass formula? This makes me laugh.




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    Veteran Member azcustomer's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Perfect Butt?

    All I have to say is:

    Vida Guerra

    Rack me!


    "Life is not about the number of breaths you take.
    It's about those moments which leave you breathless."

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka
    If someone demanded to me on how my ass should look(even though my ass is good to go), you better believe i'll demand that your cock must be as big as Peter North's a.k.a. "the Perfect Cock"

    Phhhtt....Just saying.
    While I agree with your sentiments, do you know where that "perfect cock" has been? You are one of my very favorite members on this forum, so please don't get mad, but I wish I could find the picture an ex of mine dug up of him getting it up the ass from an unidentified stud, after she read his denial of ever having done gay porn.

    She thought it was hilarious, but she thought Peter North was pretty hilarious in general.

    Not to say there's anything wrong at all with bisexuality, but if you did it, fess up.

    But getting back to the 'perfect ass', I'd have to say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The last 'perfect ass' I saw belonged to a dancer named Princess, who unfortunately can't dance anymore since according to her dancing pal Passion, her 'boyfriend just got out of jail'.

    Why that should matter is beyond me, but apparently it does. It's a damned shame, since not only is her ass perfect, but she can make the damned thing move like nobody I've ever seen--though I have seen several equally magnetic asses in equally enchanting but different modes of motion.

    Whether the British scientific method would rank her ass in the same high caregory I did, I don't know. I doubt they'd find it inferior, though.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser
    While I agree with your sentiments, do you know where that "perfect cock" has been? You are one of my very favorite members on this forum, so please don't get mad, but I wish I could find the picture an ex of mine dug up of him getting it up the ass from an unidentified stud, after she read his denial of ever having done gay porn.

    She thought it was hilarious, but she thought Peter North was pretty hilarious in general.

    Not to say there's anything wrong at all with bisexuality, but if you did it, fess up.

    That is great!

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    Featured Member lunchbox's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Who cares if PN took it in the butt?

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    Featured Member aviendha's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    If PN was getting it up the butt, then *his* dick wasn't involved. But really, who cares? Are we coming up with mathematical formulas on, say, the amount of hair a man should have for optimum sexiness? No, because in the end, there's really only so much one can change his or her looks, and no amount of math will change it--so why bother?

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by lunchbox
    Who cares if PN took it in the butt?
    Apparently, he does, since he denied it...

    But yeah, who fucking cares, I was just teasing Vyanka--who thankfully saw the humor in it--and it's beside the point. As Aviendha says, there's only so much you can do to change what genetics has granted.

    And to reiterate the point I was really making, it depends very much on the viewer, how perfection is defined. One person's notion of 'the perfect butt' will vary from another's.

    Unfortunately for the club I work in, Passion's butt is certainly going to be found grossly inferior to that divine ass Princess moved so well, by an extremely large number of possible survey participants--and no doubt even the stuffy Brit 'scientists' would agree.

    Why her boyfriend couldn't have gotten out of jail, thus preventing her from dancing, is beyond me.
    Last edited by Djoser; 04-13-2006 at 08:17 PM.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by azcustomer
    Perfect Butt?

    All I have to say is:

    Vida Guerra

    Rack me!
    Vida does have a nice butt, can't say to much for the face though, sorry I think Beyonce has a nice ass. I want a bigger ass too.







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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    **turns around to peer at her butt**

    funny, i've been told i have a "perfect" butt plenty of times, and trust me, it ain't firm and it sure does wobble.
    Oh, I musta took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.


    howdy ho, junior rangers.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses
    ...I think Beyonce has a nice ass. I want a bigger ass too.
    The hell with that--not all guys like the size of her ass, though I'd be the last to deny it's well-shaped.

    Personally, I like a petite but well-rounded one--but that's just my opinion.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Featured Member MadisonM's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    I got an 81, which confirms what I already knew- that I have a cute little rump... hehe.. although I do find this little formula highly unscientific.
    Take the road less traveled- just make sure you have a map.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Hey, if you all wanted to see the perfect ass, All you had to do was ask. Private viewing only, but it's here at your requests...

    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    Hey, if you all wanted to see the perfect ass, All you had to do was ask. Private viewing only, but it's here at your requests...

    OK,I'll bite.You show me yours and I'll show you mine.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    NO.

    JOKE.

    I really don't think I have the perfect ass!

    Shit I was hoping for a few LOLs, not anyone to call me out!

    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Like the man said; it's like pornography, you know it when you see it :-)

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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Ahem, the perfect ass formula:
    huminahuminahumina+zowiekapowie*2(incoherent drooling)=<3(_)_)
    I have a doctorate in bootyology.
    -J

  19. #19
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    someone else posted this picture first but this is what I call a perfect butt

  20. #20
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Jessica Simpson has a great ass? The last pic I saw of her (without the butt lifting panties she wore in Dukes), she had a completely, flat, got-hit-in-the-ass-with-a-2x4 ass. Definitely not an ass look I would aspire to. LOL

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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses
    Vida does have a nice butt, can't say to much for the face though, sorry I think Beyonce has a nice ass. I want a bigger ass too.
    It's funny you say this. I visit this other message board sometimes, and whenever the subject of Vida Guerra is brought up, ALL of the women there (and only the women) get all up in arms. They'll begrudgingly admit she has a nice body (although her ass is overrated, not even that big, and possibly due to butt implants). But when it comes to her face, they do everything but call her a child of God- saying she looks like she has Down's Syndrome, that she looks like a dog, that she needs to bag her face. It's seriously harsh stuff, and you know these women are probably nowhere nearly as attractive as VG.

    Personally I think Vida has a cute face, certainly not plain or even unattractive like some people have suggested. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I like it when someone who maybe isn't the most naturally beautiful, like VG or Britney Spears in her heyday, gets recognition on the strength of the work they put into maintaining their body and appearance.

    Regarding a bigger butt, I have a theory that it's rare that women are blessed with both T&A. If you think about it, most big-booty idols haven't been that blessed in the chest.

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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by Bailey78
    But when it comes to her face, they do everything but call her a child of God- saying she looks like she has Down's Syndrome, that she looks like a dog, that she needs to bag her face.
    Heh, I just looked her up and she is kinda lazy-eyed. I didn't even know who she was though.



    Because there ain't no tits on the radio

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    Featured Member Tiff_7_17's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    I got .73...but I already knew I had a nice ass, so whatever.
    I think the formula is kind of stupid...because if you have a 40 inch waist and a 52 inch ass or whatever...the ratio is going to say that you're perfect.

    I have a big round butt, so I tend to think girls with smaller, tighter ones look nice...everybody wants what they DON'T have! lol

  24. #24
    Veteran Member pink_staR's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    Jessica Simpson has a great ass? The last pic I saw of her (without the butt lifting panties she wore in Dukes), she had a completely, flat, got-hit-in-the-ass-with-a-2x4 ass. Definitely not an ass look I would aspire to. LOL
    lmao!! I always thought that too. Her butt is so flat... it's almost inverted lol.

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    Veteran Member candie00's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Perfect Butt

    Yah I seen Regis and Kelly doing this on LIVE =p ....

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