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Thread: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

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    Sad why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    ok, i know everyone is probably tired of hearing about how bad this week has been but i am so frusturated! last night two guys asked me for a $125 dance but said that they weren't ready yet. ok, cool. i sat and chatted with them for 30 minutes each because the club was slow and i wanted to make sure they didn't spend elsewhere. so 4:00am comes around and i let them know that it is time to get their dance b/c we close soon, and if they both wait until 4:30 one of them will not get one. they then tell me that i am so hot, beautiful, sexy ect. ect. but that they can't afford it. WTF?? i asked if they would like a $20 or $50 dance and they both say no. i was so pissed that they knowingly lied to me! and that's not the end of it. during the one dance i sold last night the guy kept trying to touch me everywhere and said that he should get his money back since he's not allowed to touch my breasts, butt, or crotch. 2 more guys that i approached asked if i would buy them a dance. when i said no the bastard asked if i would buy him a drink! it was just a bad night. and did i mention tap water is back to $5 glass?

    it just seems like men do not understand what service strip clubs provide. it isn't a dating service, brothel or a happy-ending massage parlor.

    and what's up with so many guys getting offended that we are interested in selling dances, getting tipped for our time, ect.? they will say things like,"why does it have to be all about the money?" "just because i'm not buying a dance means your not going to talk to me?" i don't know, maybe because this is my job. btw i love dancing and meeting new people and i am not a "wannadance" girl by any means, but i do hustle and make really good money usually.

    i am not fishing for sympathy or anything i just needed to blow off some steam. i know everywhere has been slow lately. thank y'all for listening

    did i mention i graduate on may 6!!!! i am sooooo stressed.

    sydney

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    yuck. sorry you had run-ins with assholes all night. that sucks.

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Sydney, even though you're not fishing for sympathy {{{hugs}}}...nights like that suck the life right out of ya!

    BTW, congratulations on your graduation!

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    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Been there so many times, and I'm sorry!

    "Does it have to be all about the money?"
    My standard response to that: "Do you work for free?" If I'm in a better mood, I smile and say, "I do love talking to you and I wish we could talk some more, but a girl's gotta eat! Your conversation, while illuminating, won't keep the lights on." Some of them need to be reminded that we are at work. Unfortunately, most of them don't give a shit.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    I've noticed that when guys know you aren't in demand (ie. it's a slow night and no one is spending) they think it's ok to just suck your time dry. Sometimes it's just hard to look busy...

    Oh, I've had customers ask me to buy them a dance. I've also had customers ask me to give them a FREE dance. FREE DANCE?! Are you shittin me?!







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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    that is the thing that really chaps my ass the most..."why's it all about the money?" **bangs head on wall**

    sorry girl, that sounds like a really terrible night...i'm tellin' you, sometimes it seems that they put out some kind of A.P.B. some nights:
    "ATTN: all fuckheads and broke, rude bastards! congregate at *insert club name" to harass, take up space and generally be insulting tonight from 7pm to 2 am, all for a mere $5-20 cover charge"...
    Oh, I musta took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.


    howdy ho, junior rangers.

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    Veteran Member Feiticeira's Avatar
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Some guy tried to tell me that since it was his "first" time in the club, that I should give him a free dance. When I laughed at him, he then tried to say he deserved one to "try me out" and see if I was worth it. At $5 a dance.

    Right....this isn't a buffet....

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Monkey see, monkey do. If the club lacks momentum, which many do when it is slow then it is hard to get guys to be the only ones buying dances. CK is right.

    But, you don't want to sit with guys too long either. I know it is slow, but once the guys say they aren't ready, tell them you'll be back and move on, but keep checking back, unless someone else is sitting with them. These clubs are too much of a hustle, have more dancers than the business warrants, and it hurts the money. Anywhere else you can work?

    That's what I mean by some clubs stay busier than others, some have a lower dancer to customer ratio, and in some clubs dances are more in demand than others.

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    Featured Member MadisonM's Avatar
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    I was sitting by a customer last night and he bought me 2 or 3 drinks (at $5 each- we get a bonus for getting a certain amount of drinks, so we always try to get drinks bought for us) but said from the beginning that he doesn't get lap dances- he just comes to relax and watch the girls on stage and tip them. So I sat with him for about 20 minutes until it was time for me to go on stage. I asked him if I could have $3 for the jukebox so I could play my music (which is often what is done here- if we're sitting by a guy for a while we'll ask for the money for the jukebox- $3 is a small amount to pay for me sitting with you for 20 minutes, even if you did spend $15 on drinks- a lap dance would have been $20, and that's only for about 4 minutes). He said, "You've been working all night, you don't have any singles to put in there? Do you have a bigger bill, I'll make change for you." He wouldn't give me $3 for the jukebox. Some guys are just cheap.
    Take the road less traveled- just make sure you have a map.

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    That's why these guys are in stripclubs, because they can't get "real" dates! Cheap losers! I think a man being cheap is my biggest turnoff ever!

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    Senior Member red diving girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    yuck. i hate those types! when i was newer i used to be so shocked because these jerks on the surface can seem like reasonable, normal people but really they are just being pathetic and manipulative! going to a strip club is an experience, something to interact with. even if you just want to drink and 'watch', tipping is necessary (and fun, in my opinion). a fellow dancer and i were comparing just sitting at the bar at a strip club like going to an arcade and just watching the demo screens on the game...or even worse, pretending to play but not putting any quarters in. the time wasters are the worst. the ones that tell you straight out that they arent going to spend money i don't mind really, the other type is just sociopathic.

    on the other hand, anyone ever give a deal or a freebie to the sweet customers who have already spent all their money on you at the end of the night? sometimes the appreciation and recognition that some guys give us in both the monetary and verbal sense puts me in a good mood. very occasionally at the end of a long shift i've been known to stick around and chat to wind down with a nice customer and sometimes throw in a last free dance (esp. for the cute ones). makes me leave happy instead of going back out there and potentially dealing with jerks for the last fifteen minutes of the night.

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    "Ok, I have just one question for you, and I want you to answer honestly. Why do you do this, and don't tell me its for the money?"

    Dudeski, you just answered your own question, idiots!! Nights like that aren't missed!

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Quote Originally Posted by red diving girl
    the time wasters are the worst. the ones that tell you straight out that they arent going to spend money i don't mind really, the other type is just sociopathic.
    Thank you so much for saying that. I thought the same thing but I didn't want to rush to judge. There's something mean and evil underneath the facade with those guys. I suspect that's what a Scott Peterson type is like. They make me think of the movie American Psycho. The guy is good at looking socially normal but he's got a fucked up attitude and agenda underneath. They pretend they are sooo into the conversation but I think they get off on the deception, manipulation and perception of control.

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    I tell them my dog needs braces. Canine ortho isn't cheap.

    They really have no idea how to respond to this.

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    Senior Member quequisiera's Avatar
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    I tell them my dog needs braces. Canine ortho isn't cheap.

    They really have no idea how to respond to this.
    Thanks for the idea. I will save this one for the perfectly slow day.
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    We all get taken in once in awhile by a big manipulator who monopolizes your time. Some are very good at making you believe that they will spend money.

    Here are my two cents that I had to learn the hard way.

    1) anyone that says anything about a free dance, about giving them a taste, about flashing them to see what I look like: they are not worth your time and will not spend a cent. I tell them that they don't work for free do they? That, they can see me on stage and that I have enough guys who want me without having to show them anything, and then I walk away. These guys are just looking to see how much you they can away with. They waste your time, and on top of that put you a bad mood. Use your persuave powers on someone who will actually listen.

    2) anyone who tells me, why is it all about the money, I use a line that I learnt here, similar to waht someone said on this thread, "well, a girl has got to eat, but let me tell you something, this is the most fun I have ever had a job." This guys might a dance, but often they do are just seeking to waste your time and do so by making you feel as though you have to explain yourself why it isn't about the money. They want the real girlfriend experience and often it isn't worth the time to give them that. Tell them that line, maybe sit 5 more minutes, ask again with a "you know, the back room is more private, why don't we go back there for some privacy and fun " and if they say no, walk away.

    3) If a guy asks me for a dance and doesn't get one right away, again walk away, or be more forceful. I won't wait more than 10 minutes, though true enough, it it's not busy you might as well sit with someone. Still, I wouldn't more than 15 minutes because the longer they are getting you for free, why would they pay for you? If he's asking, it should be because he wants it, and he should want it right around the time he asked for it. If 10 minutes later he still wants to "get to know you better and then says, is it all about the moeny", then this guy is manupalating you and get out.

    I hate this!!!!! That last thing I want to feel is conned.

  17. #17
    Mask
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Quote Originally Posted by MadisonM
    I was sitting by a customer last night and he bought me 2 or 3 drinks (at $5 each- we get a bonus for getting a certain amount of drinks, so we always try to get drinks bought for us) but said from the beginning that he doesn't get lap dances- he just comes to relax and watch the girls on stage and tip them. So I sat with him for about 20 minutes until it was time for me to go on stage. I asked him if I could have $3 for the jukebox so I could play my music (which is often what is done here- if we're sitting by a guy for a while we'll ask for the money for the jukebox- $3 is a small amount to pay for me sitting with you for 20 minutes, even if you did spend $15 on drinks- a lap dance would have been $20, and that's only for about 4 minutes). He said, "You've been working all night, you don't have any singles to put in there? Do you have a bigger bill, I'll make change for you." He wouldn't give me $3 for the jukebox. Some guys are just cheap.
    Why do you think anyone has to buy you drinks, let alone pay for your jukebox music?

    Also, you claim $3 is a small amount to pay for 20 minutes of you sitting with him despite receiving $15 worth of drinks because a lap dance costs more money and uses less time. Well, it wasn't a lap dance, and clearly you didn't negotiate any financial deal with him in advance. A lap dance price is no secret and customers and dancers know in advance the price.

    Perhaps you invited yourself to his table? Do you think most guys will be rude enough to tell you to leave? To the contrary some guys are nice enough to buy you a drink despite the unwanted or wanted company. It is not your right. However, when you get pushy, asking and expecting others to give you gifts in the form of drinks, music, etc., and a self-respecting guy declines, not being a welcome mat for others to step on, you act as if you've been mistreated and label him cheap?

    If you want compensation for your time, you need to make it clear that you charge for your time, even if it is to sit and chat at a table. That way each guy can make a choice, up front.

    I am looking for your reasoning, and I also would like you to understand the potential reasoning of the gentlemen in question. From his perspective, you're a cheap, gold digger, looking for others to pay for your drinks and even your music.

    Mask

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    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Mask, she is at WORK. She expects to be compensated for her time at work. Are you a cheap golddigger because you expect your company to pay you for your time there?

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Mask, this is why we don't need opinions from PLs like you in Stripping General. How about you pay ME to work. Wouldn't like it very much I assume. Some "gentlemen" need to pull their heads from their rear-ends

    And to answer the question as to whether or not a guy will have an uninvited dancer at his table:

    Any wise custy will let a girl know if she's welcome or not. If you don't have the cajones to let a girl know you're looking for something else, than it's nobody's fault than yourself that you spent money on a girl you didn't want around.

    This is our job buddy, like it or not. "Gold digging" as you so eloquently put it, is part of the territory. That's the nature of the job. The only difference in how I get paid and how you do is that I have to actively seek out my sources of income. I'm sure if you were required to do the same you would be hustling your ass off to make the bacon!
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    Senior Member velour1141's Avatar
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Mask;

    As I like to say to customers with your sort of attitude, "You're in my house now!" I did not force you to come in. Dancers assume that customers understand that they need to tip on stage, buy a dance or drink, or tip for the time spent at the table. I believe this is common knowledge for customers. Also common knowledge, dancers are going to come and sit with you... that is the way it works... if you don't want the 'company' go to a bar!
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    You know what GIRLS. I think WE need to hear more comments like the one Mask gave. The reason being, is that we need to know what motivates guys to spend and not to spend in stripclubs.

    We ALL have tunnel vision when it comes to making as much money as we can in the club, but RARELY look at the guys point of view when it comes to spending money. If we want guys to spend money on US, then they have got to WANT to spend it.

    Many guys feel clubs are a hustle and that they girls are hustling them. Plus Madison, I work at some clubs like you work in. When a club lacks a DJ and only has a jukebox, or the DJ sucks and doesn't talk up to the crowd telling them to tip and buy dances and help promote our stage sets and dances, the flow of money isn't good. Plus guys really don't like clubs where they are pushed to buy dancer drinks, and the guy probably feels ripped off, which is why the $3 jukebox request prompted a sarcastic remark from him. As soon as he got in the club he was hustled for drinks (3 drinks is a lot for one dancer) and then hustled again for $3 for the jukebox.

    If you were a customer, how would you feel? Some clubs set ups appear too greedy, and the guys get an attitude. That is one BIG reason why this business has slowed down. A guy can blow a wad of money real quick at todays upsell prices and regret it the next day.

    Some guys are actually cheapskates, but we're seeing a ripple slowdown effect in this business all over nowadays, and if the guys really enjoyed buying dances and visiting strip clubs, why are so many of them not coming in the clubs as much or at all anymore?

    That is something to think about!

  22. #22
    Mask
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah
    Mask, she is at WORK. She expects to be compensated for her time at work. Are you a cheap golddigger because you expect your company to pay you for your time there?
    Clearly my point went over your head.

    Continuing your 'at work' analogy, employees have negotiated a deal with their employer. That is, they get a salary provided they continue to fulfil their work requirements. Before they're hired, there is an interview process, and in most professional careers, it is multiple interviews, involving technical and soft skills tests. On the company's end, they provide details about work atmosphere, benefits, bonuses, holidays, hours etc.

    My point was/is that strippers who sit and talk to customers at their table, wanted or unwanted, and fail to set expectations and fail to negotiate a deal and then complain they didn't get paid, have no one to blame but themselves, because they violate a basic principle of justice. No one has any right to demand payment for work that was never sought.

    Can my car mechanic demand payment for fixing my brakes, despite that I never asked?

    Indeed, even when I take my car to the mechanic, he/she never performs any work on it, until I receive an estimate and authorize the work to be done. This is standard practice.

    Strippers know this. That is why they don't run to the bouncer when a customer doesn't pay for them to sit and talk at their table. So stop playing dumb hypocrisy.

    Mask

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Monolith
    Mask, this is why we don't need opinions from PLs like you in Stripping General. How about you pay ME to work. Wouldn't like it very much I assume. Some "gentlemen" need to pull their heads from their rear-ends
    I have no problem whatsoever paying a dancer, perhaps even you, to perform her work that I REQUESTED, however I do have a problem with a dancer who expects me to pay for work which was not sought, nor even recognized as being work worthy of payment, nor recognized that the dancer is under the false impression that we have agreed to some sort of deal. Moreover, had I known this faulty impression of hers ahead of time, I would've declined her company.
    Would you pay for work in this instance? Do you pay me to breathe?

    Quote Originally Posted by Monolith
    And to answer the question as to whether or not a guy will have an uninvited dancer at his table:

    Any wise custy will let a girl know if she's welcome or not. If you don't have the cajones to let a girl know you're looking for something else, than it's nobody's fault than yourself that you spent money on a girl you didn't want around.
    I do not rudely tell people, stripper or not, to go away when they come and sit down and strike up a conversation. Indeed, I may buy them a drink, seeing as they took the time to aproach me, but this is something I do as a result of being a gracious host, not because I feel I am obligated, and were I to know that the guest is expecting it, for example if they ask me to pay for their drink, I would tell him/her to be on their way! I consider that guest who comes to eat and drink and mooch off of me, a graceless and poor mannered idiot.

    Either come as a guest and appreciate what the host provides, or come as a sales agent attempting to make a business deal, where you negotiate a salary for your time, but don't come unannounced with false expectations and making demands. That comes off very rude.

    Mask

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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Quote Originally Posted by Mask
    I have no problem whatsoever paying a dancer, perhaps even you, to perform her work that I REQUESTED, however I do have a problem with a dancer who expects me to pay for work which was not sought, nor even recognized as being work worthy of payment, nor recognized that the dancer is under the false impression that we have agreed to some sort of deal. Moreover, had I known this faulty impression of hers ahead of time, I would've declined her company.
    Would you pay for work in this instance? Do you pay me to breathe?
    Mask
    This is what you do, when a girl approachs you say, "I don't want any company" or "no thank you"







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  25. #25
    Mask
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    Default Re: why don't they get it? ...mostly rant

    Quote Originally Posted by velour1141
    Mask;

    As I like to say to customers with your sort of attitude, "You're in my house now!" I did not force you to come in. Dancers assume that customers understand that they need to tip on stage, buy a dance or drink, or tip for the time spent at the table. I believe this is common knowledge for customers. Also common knowledge, dancers are going to come and sit with you... that is the way it works... if you don't want the 'company' go to a bar!
    I don't believe I have an attitude, but you. For example, your remark that 'You're in my house now'. If that is not a bad attitude, what is?

    I have never suggested I was forced to enter, however I have not only suggested but explicitly stated that it is ridiculous to expect payment for work which was never sought, FALSELY ASSUMING it was!

    You confess you make this assumption. Sometimes it may be true, CLEARLY other times it is false. One way or another it is an assumption, and not fact. If you expect payment, it is best to work off of facts, not assumptions.

    As opposed to questioning your assumption, seemingly strippers of your bent go one step further and make another false assumption, namely that the man must be cheap. Sure there are cheap men, but the logic of the aforementioned strippers is by no means whatsoever proof of a man's miserliness. If you rub them the wrong way (no pun intended) then don't expect them to continue financing your endeavours. Making false assumptions, having false expectations, and making offensive demands, will certainly turn most guys off and immediately close their wallet.

    Mask

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