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Thread: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

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    Member Velouria's Avatar
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    Default i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    ...or close to it at least!
    i havent danced since september and before i quit i was majorly burnt out.
    and, well, this semester was my first semester at a community college of which all i can say is that it REALLY wasnt for me and my GPA will be too low to qualitfy for financial aid next semester (at an awesome, but pricey, art college out of state). so its going to be out of pocket/alternative loans for me!

    here are the problems im facing:
    1) my long-distance boyfriend said he would prefer if i didnt strip. at the time he let me know he would have a problem with it i had been retired for months and doing alright financially so i said, "ok." now i know its not right to lie in a relationship but because of the distance it would be very easy for me to strip without him ever finding out.

    2) however i could tell him, and he actually would be able to offer me financial assistance. he has already offered to pay for my BA and buy me a car - i could say i would rather have a degree, but the idea of being financially dependant on another person freaks me out. im used to taking care of myself and dancing was the only way i know how to do it.

    3) STUDENT LOANS. i would love to just take out a loan for the entire amount and be able to have my school AND my boyfriend. i really would. my credit is horrible though. i wish i could go back and slap my teenage self for my irresponsibile use of credit! but all hope isnt lost, right? i can still apply with a consigner...but both of my parents are not in good financial standing either. when my sister went to college it was our grandparents that gave her money. they are very old though, id hate to take any of their savings and i dont know if age is a determining factor when appling for a loan, they are both in their 80's. im pretty oblivious about this subject - any information you have would be great.

    other than that how can i get money?
    im possibly going to also get a "real" job at a department store, which i will be able to transfer to my new city. i will only be able to save $1,000 at the most from that from now until when i move - but it will definately help.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    OK,I didn't read past option #1.If he knows you need the money,then he'll suck it up and let you take care of business.Bottom line.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

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    Featured Member MadisonM's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    ^^^^ I agree. Don't let him pay for your school, cuz what happens if you guys break up? Is he going to hold it over your head and make you pay it back right away? Just not a good situation to get yourself into. You're trying to plan for your future, so just dance. If he doesn't accept it, then find someone who will.
    Take the road less traveled- just make sure you have a map.

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    I agree. Dance and don't lie about it. What's the deal with the long-distance relationship, anyway? They tend overwhelmingly to be a load of bull. If he really wanted to be with you, then y'all would be together. If he doesn't care enough to be in the same city as you, then the hell with what he thinks.

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    Member Velouria's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    cool.
    but there is no way that im going to make 30,000 this summer even if i work everyday and hustle my ass off. student loans are probably going to factor into my plans and if im borrowing most of it, why not borrow all of it? and i could just spend my dancing earning on school supplies.

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    God/dess onlythebest's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    Regardless of what you do,don't let him influence your decisions at all.He should be supportive if anything.
    One of woman's cardinal rule: Body parts can be fake,everything else has to be real.

    一个女人的枢机规则:肢体可以伪造,一切必须真实.

    中国大CHINESE BIG BOOBS!!!中国大




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    Featured Member MadisonM's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    You could make a good amount of money if you dance full time over the summer, which is what I do. I also get financial aid, but the money I make from dancing lowers the amount of aid that I need, and is enough to pay for my books and supplies.
    Take the road less traveled- just make sure you have a map.

  8. #8
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    Student loans are a bad, bad, bad idea if they can be avoided at all. It's hard enough when you graduate and start out trying to make your way without a huge anvil of debt chained to your neck. I worked my way through a bachelor's and a Master's, with highest honors, and no student loans - and I wasn't even dancing then. It can be done.

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    God/dess Deogol's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    If you two are a couple who hope to have a future, you are going to have to trust him sooner or later.

    I thought the whole point of being a couple was to face life's battles together. If you are unwilling to combine resources, are you really going to be a couple?

    If you are worried about him hanging it over your head, then get somekind of agreement together since you are not married. If you are not married, he should be willing to accept that agreement because 30K is a fuck load of money to just be tossing around.

    Note you will probably have to pay income taxes on it as it would be a gift.

    If not, then you are going to have to be straight with him that you two are only dating in the slightest of ways and so his opinion should hold little merit anyway.

    (I agree about the student loans - they will be an anvil around your neck. If you can get along without them - do so!)

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    Quote Originally Posted by Velouria
    cool.
    but there is no way that im going to make 30,000 this summer even if i work everyday and hustle my ass off. student loans are probably going to factor into my plans and if im borrowing most of it, why not borrow all of it? and i could just spend my dancing earning on school supplies.
    Weren't you just blasting your teenage self and the irresponsible use of credit? That "why not just borrow all of it" attitude is partly what got you into your bad credit situation. Student loans are NOT a giveaway. You have to pay that all back, with interest. And if you don't, you'll be in a MUCH worse credit situation for MUCH longer. You do not want to go that route.

    Trust me, the boyfriend will not last as long as the debt you'll accumulate from all those student loans
    . Been there and done that. As a young woman, we always want to think that THIS one is the one, that you're so in love and you will be somehow 'rewarded' for putting his needs in front of yours. WRONG. The best thing you can do for yourself is do what you have to do to care of YOU.

    Besides, think of it like this: When you choose to take on massive debt just so you can 'keep' a boyfriend, there is clearly something wrong with the relationship already. Do you really think being in a relationship where he doesn't accept you FULLY is worth getting yourself in that much debt???

    Go out there and dance your ass off, and you can at least get a good chunk of the money together. You will most likely be able to arrange a payment plan for tuition; I haven't heard of a college/university in the US that doesn't do this. You could certainly make enough this summer to make a partial tuition payment and keep some for other initial expenses, then dance part time during school to pay the rest. It's not that hard. Not at all.

    God. I wish just ONE of you young girls would listen to what we older, more experienced women have to say and actually take heed. Then I might not feel like I'm just shooting all my good advice to the wind.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Member Velouria's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    actually, as im investigating it more, i dont think there is any way i will even be able to get a loan. so dancing may be my only option. but im very nervous about going back - if im still in good enough shape and can hustle/deal with customers. i havent been to the only club around here and from what i read on tuscl.com it sounds like a dive. gah, im scared.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    You can do it! You know you can

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Member Velouria's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    thank you :-)
    (goes to read hustle hut)

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    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    How long have you and the boyfriend been together? Is marriage in the forseeable future? If so, I would be honest and tell him the situation: your desire to go to this school, the pricey tuition, your inability to take out loans, and the need to dance to cover it. If he offers to help you, I would let him. If he would rather hand over 30k to his g/f for tuition than to have her dance, that is at his discretion. EITHER WAY: DO NOT LIE. That's a nail in the coffin.

    If you don't feel good about going back to dancing, you might end up miserable. Also, 30k is a lot of money to save in a couple of months - especially in the summer time.

    And someone mentioned paying taxes on the money because it's a gift; this, of course would not happen if he just wrote a check out to the school instead of giving it straight to you.

    Either way, good luck

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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    Quote Originally Posted by Velouria
    1) my long-distance boyfriend said he would prefer if i didnt strip. at the time he let me know he would have a problem with it i had been retired for months and doing alright financially so i said, "ok." now i know its not right to lie in a relationship but because of the distance it would be very easy for me to strip without him ever finding out.
    So is your problem with your bf and dancing irreconcilable, or is it something that there is some form of compromise on? If he's opposed to dancing in principle, then there's nothing to be done. If his problem, (for example), is you working in a high contact club, then maybe a change of club would be a solution?

    (Remember us males are very territorial - part of the issue might be the thought that other guys get to see his gf naked, etc).

    Otherwise take Brigitte's advice:

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette
    Trust me, the boyfriend will not last as long as the debt you'll accumulate from all those student loans
    You're going to have to pay off the debt one way or another. To be cynical about it, you're 23 and have got a long time ahead of you to form a happy and stable relatonship. Having a big debt hanging over you for the next 5 - 10 years could result in an long period of worry and misery.

    I don't see you've got too much to lose by talking it through with your bf and explaining the situation. If he accepts you need to dance for a limited period to pay for tuition - fine.

    If he doesn't, then you've got the rest of your life to consider. As my mother used to say, "there's plenty more fish in the sea".

    Phil.

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    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    Bridgette, your advice is very wise. you are right on target, a friend of mine at school let her bf pay for undergrad school, and now they are engaged, and I think she is only w/ him b/c she feels like she owes him. I would not want to be indebted to anyone, as you age you are going to change. re-read the previous posts!!!! do things for yourself. I have no loans in grad school now, i dance and have a payment plan, it can be done!!!!!

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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    He's just as tied to you paying for your boobs and a new car as he is paying for education. Have him pay for the year in full at the beginning of Fall semester, so he can't take the money back. Forget about the boobs and car. His intentions seem pretty self-serving if he wants to buy you boobs but doesn't want you dancing....

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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    If he wants to pay for it, let him. Look how many men have a woman they marry who supports them through med school, law school, whatever, and then they dump the wife for the cute secretary. If someone offered to pay for me to go to school I'd take it in a heartbeat. But if you want to dance, be honest and tell him and do it. either way, be wary of student loans. They add up fast and can be next to impossible to pay off. A degree doesn't guarantee you a good paying job.

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    Default Re: i need to come up with about 30k for college before fall

    The HUGE problem that many dancers have is letting societal pressures interfere with them working this business.

    Do the customers who spend the most money in strip clubs take off work for 7 months, or only work when they need money? Of course not. So why is it soooooo hard for a large majority of dancers to treat this like a full time career and work a set schedule or 5 days a week if they have no other job and 3 days if they are students.

    You have bills to pay EVERY WEEK. You can't live on savings. You must have income EVERY WEEK.

    If you had worked every week and worked the floor hard approaching EVERY customer, you would have money.

    I am tired of hearing about boyfriend problems. Fuck them. How could a guy have problems with your dancing? Any idiot knows that the customers are no different to us than customers of a sales clerk in a store. Until you can stand up to a guy and tell him if he doesn't like your dancing to get the fuck out, and until you treat dancing like a mainstream job you will always be broke.

    I'm not trying to be mean, but every grown woman should know she needs income every week, that she needs as much as she can get, and she needs to save at least 30% of what she makes each week.

    Dancers ALWAYS only want to work when they need to buy something. Why is that? Until you have the motivation to work regularly in order to have financial security, a college degree should you get one won't be much good.

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