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how do i get out of this?
So there is this girl that I worked with at a peepshow club that called me about help finding a regular club to work at. I told her about one that I had worked at that I thought would be good for her because its mellow and she's never danced before, as in stage shows or lapdances. She is supposed to go into work there tonight and wants me to go with her. I normally would, to help ease her into it and make her feel more comfortable. But it's not a very busy club and I seriously need to be making money right now. Plus I feel like my hustle would be interrupted by "babysitting" her most of the night. I dont like to sit around and talk when I'm working and she seems like she'll be pretty needy. I know she's nervous and I've been really supportive but I cant really afford to worry about someone else's money right now. If I don't go am I a bad friend? And if I do, how do I put it nicely that I have to work and can't be her stripper guru?
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Re: how do i get out of this?
you've done enough! she's a big girl. Tell her to go to work and if she has any questions, to call you the next day.
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Re: how do i get out of this?
Tell her that you need to go to work at your regular place for x reason (whatever you're comfortable with). Give her one or two pointers and reassure her that she'll be fine. That doesn't make you a bad friend.
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Re: how do i get out of this?
The question is:
Is she a real friend? Is she someone who has spent the time and the efforts to make a friend with you? Is she someone you can trust?
Is she just an aquaintance who you barely know, but hasn't done anything against you?
Is she someone you really don't know, but you have had a few conversations with?
It really depends on these questions. Someone I trust, I would do practically anything (within boundaries) to make them feel more comfortable, I would go out of my way for them and they would do the same for me.
Someone who is an aquaintance... you can bet on them being a future friend or not, depends on what they have shown you. If you would like them to be a friend and you believe in them as a future friend, test it by giving. A true person who is self actualized won't need a reason for giving, they will just do it because that is who they are and it gives them a reason to be.
A person you don't really know... give them tips, check on them, and see how it goes.
I like to get as many friends as I can. But I don't consider friends to be anyone that I can't trust. I like equal partnerships and people that know the way. Anyone else will bolt in a less-than-perfect situation. If you burn bridges, you are possibly losing friends and definitely more love in your life. If she is trying to use you. shame on her, but that doesn't mean she couldn't benefit from your help. Some people just need direction. Do what you think is best. Go with your instincts.
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Re: how do i get out of this?
You can't hold her hand forever. Sooner or later she's going to need to learn to stand on her own two feet, or she'll never grow as a person. Be honest with her. You have enough to worry about with yourself.
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Re: how do i get out of this?
Why don't you compromise ? Go into her club on your night off, and hang around a couple of hours until she is comfortable, then leave explaining that if she spends all her time with you she won't make any money.
That way you don't have to cut into your own money, and you are still a good friend who helped out in her time of need.
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Re: how do i get out of this?
I definitely wouldn't do it on a night that I had to work because it means losing money. I understand that you're wanting to be a good friend to her and you can be, just don't go on a night that you have to work. If she's that good of a friend, she'll understand and wouldn't want you to miss work and maybe struggle paying your rent or put your job in jeapardy.
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Re: how do i get out of this?
Thanks for the suggestions. I wound up stopping in there to watch and tip her for her first set, then told her I had to go into work.
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Member

Re: how do i get out of this?
good girl. thats what i would have done. at least you made an apearence. and if she is new she will remember this act of kindness on your part for ever.... i know i remember the few girls who steped up for me my first nite. "helpful, but not too helpful" and then they steped back and let me fly on my own.
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