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Thread: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Wow, I never thought that sentence would come out of my mouth! Ok, basically I've been working at my club for about 5months now. After my 3rd or so week of dancing, I got my first regular. At first, he'd buy maybe 5-6 couch dances ($20/dance) and then after he started taking me into the VIP/Champagne room ($100/ 30min) during my dayshift, and still buying 4-5 couch dances on the weekend. I would see him about 2-3x per week. Around January, he started working alot more overtime, so he would start taking me into VIP for an hour, and still buying his 4-5 dances.

    All well and good right? Wrong! The problem with dancing for him is this..my club is strictly no contact and I abide by those rules. He totally grosses me out cause when I dance for him, he trys to stick his tongue out and "act as if" he wants to lick my p****. In the past, we'd always laugh it off, and he'd be cool. But for like the past month and a half, he hasn't taken me in VIP AT ALL. Close to the end of closing time, he will make an attempt to take me into VIP for like almost half price, which we're not allowed to do, so then naturally he refuses to pay the full price. Yet, if he wants a few couch dances (only like 2-3) he is still trying to stick his tongue out, and trying to meet me outside of the club. He even went as far as telling me he'd give me the keys to his car, and then we'd roll off! I said, "umm no everyone here knows I dont drive, and then I'd point blank get fired cause they know good and dam well I aint having no 50+yr old white man picking me up for work." Hell, they know who my regular is. Hell, they tellme when he gets here

    He even had the nerve to approach me when I was sitting w/ another one of my regulars. I guess he isn't the typical regular because he's like a 20yr old thug type But hey, he's a construction worker, and he pays me well. Anyway, he approaches while I'm with my other regular like, "daddies here" I'm like WTF . I stayed with my younger regular for like 5more minutes, gave him a couple more dances, and then went off to the other regular.

    I'm getting so tired of him. First off, I'm tired of the attempts to lick private areas, then the idea of he and I running away together, him coming to my house afterhours, and lastly him interrupting me while I'm with another regular of mine.

    On some levels, I just want to wash my hands of him. On others, I still want to get the few dances he is still willing to pay outta him.

    Anyone else go through something like this? Did you cut him loose, or re-hustle him all over again?







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Featured Member london's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Yes, cut him loose. He is not worth the few lap dances you could get out of him. He stopped doing VIP with you because you are a good girl (as you should be). Give him the cold shoulder when he rudely approaches you while you're working the room...be sickeningly sweet, "I'm BUSY, sweetie" then turn your back on him. Do not approach him, make him come back to you and only go with him if he is again a VIP paying customer and not a gross perv who is trying to taunt you and skeev you out for the price of a few laps(and even then, dont know if it is worth it).

    If he keeps being an ass, be a prima donna b**** telling him how some other regular (mr. x) gives you x,y, and z (being huge dollar amounts) and only wants to worship your toes or something..who cares. At times like this, it is best to go ahead and be the mercenary stripper b**** Hopefully, he will lose interest soon enough. This guy just sounds very desperate to me.
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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    That's how it goes with most regulars. Get rid of him. Just tell him you can't sit with him for free, does he want a VIP? No? Okay, well you have paying customers to get back to...



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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Yeah, he's on the verge of the hostile stage. Wean him, then ignore him.

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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Exactly. Did you say he comes to your house after hours? I may have misread, but I'd be freaked the F out!
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    Smiley Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    I feel u girl. I have been through the same thing over and over again and it gets sicking at times. I had to cut them off to let them know they have to come better than that. Regulars are at least suppose to treat u with alittle more respect. U expect that shit from a new comer who dont know how to act in front of ass. Its sad but true. Sometimes the regulars take it a little to far because they think they spend the most money on us. Sad but true. We have to stand up and decide whether or not we are going to put up with this bull from our regulars or not? SURRENDER thats what i did. Its not worth it.

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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    For all dancers out here in the world, Do not let regulars come to your home.
    That is the most dangerous thing you can do in this business and lead them on to think that you are going to have sex with them and you know that you are not.

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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Or worse, if you piss them off and they know where you live they could do a lot more than ask for sex. It sounds like the type of regular that becomes psycho and obsessive. It sucks if he's trying to get in between your other regulars and you.

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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Yeah, he's become obsessive and that can be dangerous!! It took my having a regular that became obsessive to realize that my own personal and emotional safety and comfort is more important than making a few extra bucks.

    Cut him off.

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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    I believe she meant that she is fed up with the idea that he wants to come to her house afterhours. Blah you really do have a case of a "regular" that is still really trying to test the waters with you instead of accepting what is. I had a guy like that and he started telling people i was his girlfriend at the club, no one believed him(i dont think) but i did not like the fact that it could make me look like i was doing more with him to believe that. Since he cut off the vip's ,he should be atleast making you feel comfortable(although regardless no tounge should be present but the extra vip money makes it a little easier to tolerate i would think)! I keep picturing some scary lizard tounge. I would not mind my regular cutting back on what he buys from me if it seemed to be for a good reason(like he does not have much money lately or decides he wants to spread his spending out to another dancer too) This guy's motives seem purely to get what he can sexually gratifying...so yea screw him you are way capable of getting good regulars with less aggravation =)

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Quote Originally Posted by sxybrat07
    Exactly. Did you say he comes to your house after hours? I may have misread, but I'd be freaked the F out!
    Oh helllllllllllll no girl I'd be damned if he even attempted to come to my home. No, what I was saying was he was trying to figure out ways to see me after hours. That's not happening though!







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    You should try to subtly pass him onto another dancer. One of my girlfriends and I had a situation similar to this and it was awesome, because I could tell her exactly how to work him and exactly what he'd do in response. He had no idea, and felt all guilty because he thought he was like busting up our friendship. Yeah right! We just mutually played him, and both got paid!

    It'll be a load off your back and some money in another girl's pocket. Take one down, pass em around, etc....
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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Quote Originally Posted by red red red
    You should try to subtly pass him onto another dancer.
    I would if I could...he only likes black dancers and I'm like the only one.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses
    ...He totally grosses me out cause when I dance for him, he trys to stick his tongue out and "act as if" he wants to lick my p****...
    I have never understood this...

    Sometimes you can see them do this at the tip rail from the DJ booths in the clubs. Can they possibly imagine it's sexy, funny, or that you like it?! Why the hell else would they do it?

    It looks bad enough from the booth, I can only imagine how bad it looks right up close, right at you--but on second thought, I won't, lol.

    A dancer I knew pretty well had an obsessed regular so bad he would buy VIPs, just to keep an eye on her with other guys up there! He also liked to try to make her jealous by saying that other dancers "really dug" him, and gave up more to him in VIP. I listened to her try to explain the reality of the situation to him on the phone several times, something I was quite impressed by. "Look, it's like grinding on the arm of a couch for me, OK? Don't think it's any different for them, either."

    Didn't stop him--he never gave up the obsession, and finally wound up letting all the air out of her tires one night--too meek to slash them, fortunately, lol.

    There's lots of similarities in the two guys, more than I need to get into here--and I'd say the same end result.

    Cut him loose before he gets really weird on you.
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    Veteran Member ChloeTheRed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    If he ever tries to approach you when you're with another regular, walk just a little way away from the good regular with Mr. Creepy, then tell him something like "I'm sorry, sweetie, but I'm with somebody who really treats me well right now. I'll come see you when I get the chance." Then turn your back on him and walk right back to the good regular.
    If you're feeling really fed up, tell him you'll come see him when he's ready to behave nicely/get a VIP/whatever.

    Train him like you'd train a dog at this point. Tell him you don't appreciate him trying to lick you or see you after hours; the next time he tries to pull any of this shit, end the dance then and there, put your dress on, and walk away without any of the sweet nothings you usually tell him. After a few dances end with the cold shoulder, he'll either get the hell out of dodge or clean his act up for a few weeks.

    Guys like this irk me. I had a regular like this when I was still a newbie -- such an irritating bastard. It all went down in flames when I let him take me to the theater. It was a show I was dying to see, but good tickets were almost a hundred, and I was having a hard time justifying it. Mr. Reg bought a pair of tickets and we met at the bar across the street from the theater; it was super-awkward, him treating me like a girlfriend and me treating him like a distant acquaintance. In the end he looked at me and soulfully said "I'm so glad you're here" while putting his hand on my thigh. I moved his hand to the armrest and told him "I'm glad you're happy."
    He hasn't shown up at the club in three months, and to be honest, I'm happy. Some guys are far more trouble than their money is worth.

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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    I'd let him go too.... sounds like he's obsessed and you know what that can lead too... stalking, etc. It's not worth the few dances. I believe that most regulars will run their course (only every now and then can you keep one for an extended period of time). This one has run his course, and he makes you feel uncomfortable.... no questions asked... cut him loose!
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    Veteran Member MonicaF's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    If you are tired of this man and he's to the point of which he doesn't respect the fact that you entertain him because it's your JOB (not your pleasure) then cut him off. I've been in the same position before and looking back, I'm glad I cut my disgusting regular off.

    When you have a regular that makes you upset or anxious or grossed out, though you might make a little money off him, in the end your hurtingyourself because a guy like that will probably put you in a bad mood for the rest of the night and that will be apparent to other patrons and it will effect your money.

    A lot of men think that if they are your regular they "own you" in some sort of way. Well I'm not down with that mentality, so sometimes cutting a guy off, even if only for a while, will help him realize that it's not him who's in control - it's you.

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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses
    He totally grosses me out cause when I dance for him, he trys to stick his tongue out and "act as if" he wants to lick my p****.
    Knew a girl who had a problem with this in the UK. She told the guy "it was like dancing for a lizard". Guy stomped off in a huff. (Ahh.. diddums).

    Phil,

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    Senior Member Delany's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    I so understand where you are coming from....time to let him loose. Usually you will find a better customer when you do this. It will just free up your time to find customers without all the drama.


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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Quote Originally Posted by MonicaF
    When you have a regular that makes you upset or anxious or grossed out, though you might make a little money off him, in the end your hurtingyourself because a guy like that will probably put you in a bad mood for the rest of the night and that will be apparent to other patrons and it will effect your money.
    That's exactly what he's doing too. Ever since I made this post I haven't seen him. I won't be at work this weekend so if he's there, he'll be shi outta luck anyway As I give it more thought, all of you are right. I dont think I have the balls to "train" him, so I may just have to cut him off. I honestly don't even think I can give him some small talk, get some dances and then bounce on to the next guy. He pisses me off while I dance for him. I even caught myself rolling my eyes, and dancing with my back to him. I NEVER do that to customers. Yea he's time is wearning really thin with me. I'd rather not make any money off of him than make a few lousey dollars and be miserable the rest of the night. I'll let you girls know how things pan out.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    Quote Originally Posted by red red red
    You should try to subtly pass him onto another dancer. One of my girlfriends and I had a situation similar to this and it was awesome, because I could tell her exactly how to work him and exactly what he'd do in response. He had no idea, and felt all guilty because he thought he was like busting up our friendship. Yeah right! We just mutually played him, and both got paid!

    It'll be a load off your back and some money in another girl's pocket. Take one down, pass em around, etc....
    He is so ready to be passed...Any takers in Philly?

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    Default Re: Tired of my Regular...[RANT]

    hey girls,

    is there an organization that handles answers to questions like hers? i mean, like a nonprofit, or a strippers' union or something? i might re-post this as a new thread...

    ive only visited the site a couple times, but i keep getting the feeling that people could really use a couple of things....

    is there some kind of nonprofit in existence that suggests not only ways to prevent custies from behaving like this in the first place, but educates people about specific federal, state level and local laws that are there to protect them when it does become a bad situation (ie leads to harrassment or stalking). i get the feeling that there needs to be some kind of organization that cultivates relationships with club owners, management, and dancers in the interest of maintaining the integrity of the industry and assisting dancers, especially, who find themselves in vulnerable situations.

    some of the posts ive read are written by girls who could REALLY use some legal advocacy. some situations are just so beyond mediation that the girl needs justice and compensation for the wrongs done to her by a custy, a co-worker, or the management.

    forgive me a mild rant, but it's just not fair the way some posters have been treated. ive read too many posts in which people explain ludicrous reasons they've been fired or oppressed by custies and even their own management and housemoms. it appears these instances are in the minority, but there is no reason that *any* dancer should feel so threatened and worried about job loss that she cannot stand up for her right to a safe and enjoyable work environment.

    i would love to hear some feedback from you all.. anyway, my question is basically: is there an organization that handles advocacy/mediation/assistance for dancers in general and specifically dancers in vulnerable situations?


    thanks guys.

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