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Thread: working with friends

  1. #1
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default working with friends

    A friend of mine recently asked me if I would take her to in to the club where I work and see if she could get a job dancing. She was recently fired from another job and I know she could use the money. She's a wonderful friend whom I care about dearly and I would love to help her out, BUT...

    Knowing her as well as I do, I don't think she's really cut out for the job. I can see her causing herself, and maybe me, a lot of headaches. Although she's never danced before, she has worked in a peepshow, so I know she's fine with the getting-naked part of the job. It's the human-interaction part that I think might be the problem. She is quite cute, and can be charming, funny, and pleasant when you're on her good side, which I always have been. On the other hand, she has a hair-trigger temper, is impatient with people, and takes everything much too personally -- I seriously doubt she can handle the ammount of bullshit we have to put up with from customers, managers, and other dancers night in and night out.

    I don't feel like it's my job to talk anyone into or out of dancing. If they can't handle it, they'll figure it out soon enough without my help. But I kind of feel like taking her into work with me and helping her to get the job is like bringing in a ticking time bomb. I can easily see her having a total melt-down like the many she has had in the past. And, selfishly, I really don't want to be involved in any way. When I'm at work, I want to work. After nasty experiences with management at my old club, I've really tried to show management at this place that I'm hard-worker and non-trouble-maker, and so far, I'm on pretty great terms with everyone. If I bring my friend in and reccomend her for a job and she pulls a bunch of drama, I can see that reflecting poorly on me and maybe making my life harder. I also foresee getting dragged into dressing room drama, or being expected to sit around the dressing room nursing my friend's bruised ego and temper while I'd rather be out making money. Maybe I sound cold, but I've seen so many of this girl's friend stick their necks out for her and get burned -- getting her jobs from which she gets fired, finding her places to live with room-mates that she then alienates.

    I don't have any intention of cutting her off. Like I've said, she's always been a great friend to me, and somehow I've magically stayed off her crazy side. She's a wonderful person to know in my personal life, just not someone I'd want to be involved with in any professional capacity. I'm sort of at a loss here. What would you do?

  2. #2
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: working with friends

    Tell her to go apply at the Crazy Lady, how appropriate, hehe. If she can hang there, then perhaps she can try out your club. You're smart, you know to keep a low profile, don't attract negative attention to yourself from colleauges and customers.

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    Member Kicks's Avatar
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    Default Re: working with friends

    I think that if you take her in with you, you are vouching for her. If it works out well, that is good for you; but if it doesn't work out well, that reflects on you as well.
    Can you simply suggest she apply, and use your name as a reference only?
    I'd stay at arms length during the hiring process...let the management do the deciding. Keep your friendships separate from biz.

    kicks

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    Default Re: working with friends

    I agree with Katrine. Maybe tell her that you think your club would be too hard core for her (even if your club isn't) and tell her that maybe it would be easier for her to start somewhere else like if your club is nude recommend a topless club or something. Or just be honest that when you're working, you're not really anyone's friend because you are there to work and you don't want her getting upset with you if you can't socialize with her there. It definitely is a tough situation you're in. Maybe also tell her you really don't think dancing would be for her, try telling her all the BS that goes on there and let her know that it's not all glitz & glam. Good luck!

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    Default Re: working with friends

    Don't make your life harder if you don't have to. Suggest another club as a better place to start..... like expose or palazio. You aren't being a bad friend by watching out for yourself. Besides, if you already forsee her getting you into trouble, she probably will.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Aine's Avatar
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    Default Re: working with friends

    Suggest a different club as others have suggested. I've been retired from dancing for years now, however, I have a cousin thats is 10 years younger then me who is just now getting in to dancing. She's in for a world "wake up", thats all I know. Trouble with a capital T. From reading what your wrote, she could be twins with your friend. If I was still dancing, there is no way I would work in the same club as my cousin. She's gonna go the hard knocks route, you can just see it. She partys too much, cant stand it if shes not the center of attention, I know she'll end up intentionally messing with other girls money by divulging what she finds out or what she makes up out of thin air. Shes all about the drama. No thanks! Bottom line is, if you can already tell shes gonna cause trouble, she will, and you dont need that! Like Leogirl suggested, flat out tell her if she does go to your club, work is work, you dont socialize, period. Friends out of the club is one thing, but your there to do a job when your at work, and thats it.

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