Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Womens questions, Mens answers

  1. #1
    exotisch23
    Guest

    Default Womens questions, Mens answers

    I think I now have a better understanding of my guy, anyone else? LOL!


    MAN'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?
    It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.

    2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?
    Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

    3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?
    We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.

    4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?
    We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well-chosen) words.

    5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?
    You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.

    6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?
    Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.

    7. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?
    Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

    8. WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?
    Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end?
    We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.

    9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?
    Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.

    10. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY, "I LOVE YOU?"
    Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.

    11. WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?
    Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure-fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.

    12. WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?
    We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.

    13. WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?
    Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know damn well you'll pick it up.

    14. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?
    This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.

    15. WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?
    It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? Err... buying?

  2. #2
    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2002
    Location
    123 Tornado Alley Way, Hooterville USA
    Posts
    6,322
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 36 Times in 30 Posts

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    They forgot the ever important "why do we never ask for directions?"
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

  3. #3
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    I sooooo want to flip this thread about women. Hahaha. It's funny tho. Example:

    "Why do Women demand an 'I Love You' after every interaction with her partner?"

    More importantly, what's shaky is how the male in the equation obliges due to the potential atom bomb if it is un-reciprocated at the appropriate time, It's always a gamble. Women feel that once they get to the point in a relationship that the words "I love you" have been thrown out, that the frequency of usage of the term is a definition of the progress of the relationship. However if it is every said and not heard back, (I call this the Love Echo) it is often assumed something is amiss. Left unattended, an initial mistake can grow to full blown suspission. Why did this happen in your seemingly great relationship? Seek past boyfriends for answers.

    People are not ruled by their memories.

  4. #4
    Jay Zeno
    Guest

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    MAN'S ANSWERS TO EVERY QUESTION A WOMAN EVER ASKS

    1. WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS?

    For the same reason that women are such bitches.

    (I don't really believe that, but if we're gonna generalize, let's go whole hog.)

    2. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN?

    For the same reason that a woman cannot walk past a jewelry display without looking.

    3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?

    It's an adjustment thing, like a bra strap.

    4. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?

    They're only stupid to you. We think they're funny.

    5. WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?

    I dunno... what do you want me to say?

    6. WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?

    Because having fun is important to us.

    7. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?

    Feelings?

    8. WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE (I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?

    We'll do that if we think it'll turn into sex. No problem.

    9. HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?

    I don't know. Let me go over to my secretary's desk and ask her.

    10. WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY, "I LOVE YOU?"

    Because it has the exact same sound as a key turning in a lock.

    11. WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU" WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?

    Make up your mind.

    For the definitive answer, see No. 8.

    12. WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?

    Because he's tired of hearing the same question a number of different ways. See No. 5.

    13. WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES?

    Efficiency. It's just gonna happen again, so why bother.

    Also, see No. 8.

    14. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?

    It feels good and sounds funny. There's no down side.

    15. WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?

    Why do women like it?

  5. #5
    exotisch23
    Guest

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    ^lol!

  6. #6
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Lil Rhody
    Posts
    10,471
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    LOL Jay.. I like your answers best.

  7. #7
    God/dess
    Joined
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    2,352
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    Jay # 14 I agree lol ..And sounds even more funny when a woman does it !

  8. #8
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Boston MA
    Posts
    5,670
    Thanks
    35
    Thanked 144 Times in 74 Posts

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    JZ, that may be the single best post you've ever made on this board.

    <S> JZ
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  9. #9
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Paradigm City
    Posts
    6,784
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    bahahaha that was hilarious.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  10. #10
    Moderator unbeleavable's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Atl
    Posts
    3,429
    Thanks
    4,881
    Thanked 2,349 Times in 1,220 Posts

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    I'm thinking # 8 solves all problems.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member NoCoverLover's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Toronto ON
    Posts
    483
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    JZ's post was pure humour!

    The OP tries to answer the questions with an air of scientific study. After all, maybe we guys did develop our couch-potato abilities due to hunting in the past...

    I'm going to ignore the fact that lounging on the couch, with a bag of cheesies, watching Sunday Night Football has nothing to do with waiting for a dim-witted, slow-moving animal to saunter by, so we can wack it!!

    Now replace football with XBox 360, lose the cheesies and the theory might make sense

  12. #12
    Cally
    Guest

    Default Re: Womens questions, Mens answers

    LMAO!! Jay I love your version

Similar Threads

  1. Five questions, five answers
    By Lunarobverse in forum Customer Conversation
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 11-21-2007, 07:58 AM
  2. Five questions, five answers
    By Lunarobverse in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 11-19-2007, 05:55 PM
  3. A few questions, and I can't find answers!
    By NaomiSweetPea in forum Newbie Board
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 09-14-2006, 06:47 AM
  4. Questions That Really Need Answers
    By Rhiannon in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01-26-2005, 10:04 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •