Earlier this month I made my first ever "serious" visit to a SC (had never had a lap dance before). One of the strippers overheard me ask newbie-type questions of the bartender and chimed in that if I wanted to see where "the magic went down" I should join her in the back.
She asked again an hour later, and I accepted. As I sat down into the private booth, she commented (unsolicited) that I should have been there the prior week, because they used to "kick people's asses" until some crosstown club got raided. She then sat on my lap and clarified that as long as I wasn't a cop, though, she didn't have to worry about the rules. She did a lot of grinding/grabbing. I hadn't known what to expect, and was surprised by the aggressiveness of her innuendo as well as physicality.
After a song or two, I decided to clear out my pockets. I had purchased $20 chips via credit card (starting with $200 in chips). As I set the chips aside, I mentioned that I would give them all to her, but I wasn't going to bother her for a full compliment of 8 songs (she was $25/per), that she should just give me her best performance for a shorter period. (Why did I do this? I think I wanted to impress her with my generosity in comparison to the other patrons -- was a pretty low-class joint. Maybe I was curious to see what she would offer if she thought I was spendy. I don't know exactly what I wanted.)
From that point, she moved increasingly away from the heavy stuff, started emphasizing the chatting, and then abruptly stopped the dance. What made it seem so abrupt (and the key detail that really has motivated this post) was her closing "explanation" -- that the dance gets "a lot dirtier and nastier," but that she didn't think I wanted it to get dirty or nasty. I didn't know what to say, so I just responded that she probably knew what I wanted better than I did. She seemed to enjoy this comment. I gave her the full promised amount. She thanked me, finished dressing, and lead us back to main.
After reading these threads today -- and getting a healthy dose of realism, as far as the psychology of this whole interplay -- it occurs to me that I may have tipped my hand by indicating what I would pay, and she decided that she no longer had to work for it. But here's the thing: I would have spent lots more on her. I was having fun learning the rules of this unfamiliar game from this intriguing, slightly scary woman. And yet, I did not feel that I could continue spending on her. The manner in which the lap dance culminated felt oddly like a rejection. And that closing explanation of hers bothered me, as it felt transparently disingenuous.
Did she just misread the situation somehow? Ultimately, must you wait to pay until you are done with the dance -- any earlier attempt at showing that you intend to tip or otherwise pay generously being doomed to misinterpretation?
Thanks!



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