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Thread: Instant Karma bites

  1. #1
    Member ItchyBallSack's Avatar
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    Default Instant Karma bites

    So I am officially paying for all my sins.
    I just had to put my dog down because he bit my neighbors daughter on the face, and she needed almost 200 stitches to close the bite.
    Now not only do I have a medical bill to pay, but now i face arrest and lawsuits
    I'm sure once my landlord finds out about this I will be asked to move, so add homelessness to the list and life is peachy
    I so need support right now...I'm crying my eyes out I don't know what I'll do since my accident leaves me unable to hold a job
    For those of you who don't know...I lost all but 6 inches of my lower intestine in an accident with a pool pump while i was masturbating.
    I know this sounds trollish, but please only respond if you can be supportive
    The voices in my head think I'm funny

    No, we don't really but whatever!

  2. #2
    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    I am sorry. That totally sucks! Try not to get ahead of yourself. I know someone who was attacked by her neighbor's dog and she didn't sue. Depends what type of relationship you have with your neighbor. It's not the end of the world even if they do though. The little girl is still alive. It could have been a lot worse. I feel for you though.

  3. #3
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    How in the hell did your dog bite her face? What kind of dog is it? Big? Small?

    Yeah, I'd say you have a hell of a year coming up. Of course, if you've got a clean record and this dog has never, ever caused problems before...you may get off easier.

    I don't know about the landlord thing, though...

  4. #4
    Banned Blade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Quote Originally Posted by ItchyBallSack
    So I am officially paying for all my sins.
    I just had to put my dog down because he bit my neighbors daughter on the face, and she needed almost 200 stitches to close the bite.
    Now not only do I have a medical bill to pay, but now i face arrest and lawsuits
    I'm sure once my landlord finds out about this I will be asked to move, so add homelessness to the list and life is peachy
    I so need support right now...I'm crying my eyes out I don't know what I'll do since my accident leaves me unable to hold a job
    For those of you who don't know...I lost all but 6 inches of my lower intestine in an accident with a pool pump while i was masturbating.
    I know this sounds trollish, but please only respond if you can be supportive
    Man I must be totally heartless...but damn I smell MORE bullshit!

  5. #5
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    I've heard about the masturbating with pool pump thing, in fact, somebody made a famous comedy skit/speech about it.

  6. #6
    Member ItchyBallSack's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusGoddess
    How in the hell did your dog bite her face? What kind of dog is it? Big? Small?

    Yeah, I'd say you have a hell of a year coming up. Of course, if you've got a clean record and this dog has never, ever caused problems before...you may get off easier.

    I don't know about the landlord thing, though...
    The neighbor girl was playing with my dog. Its a pitbull shitzsu mix so its kind of a medium dog

    I had to put him down because this is the 3rd person he bit
    The voices in my head think I'm funny

    No, we don't really but whatever!

  7. #7
    Member ItchyBallSack's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Quote Originally Posted by Krazyjane
    I've heard about the masturbating with pool pump thing, in fact, somebody made a famous comedy skit/speech about it.
    I heard it and that's why I tried it...it sounded fun and I paid the price
    The voices in my head think I'm funny

    No, we don't really but whatever!

  8. #8
    Member ItchyBallSack's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Quote Originally Posted by Blade
    Man I must be totally heartless...but damn I smell MORE bullshit!
    Gee I asked for support and this is what I get from a moderator no less? THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT
    The voices in my head think I'm funny

    No, we don't really but whatever!

  9. #9
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Quote Originally Posted by ItchyBallSack
    The neighbor girl was playing with my dog. Its a pitbull shitzsu mix so its kind of a medium dog

    I had to put him down because this is the 3rd person he bit
    If this is, in fact, completely true, then you deserve to get hit with some big fines...I'm sorry...but keeping a dog that you know BITES people. And allowing that dog to play with a little girl...

    Not to be unsupportive, but I hope that family sues your ass off.

  10. #10
    Member ItchyBallSack's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Can anyone suggest a place to spread my dogs ashes? I was thinking a farm since I lovingly reffered to him as my little bullshitz
    The voices in my head think I'm funny

    No, we don't really but whatever!

  11. #11
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Quote Originally Posted by ItchyBallSack
    The neighbor girl was playing with my dog. Its a pitbull shitzsu mix so its kind of a medium dog

    I had to put him down because this is the 3rd person he bit

    Uhh, I own and show shih-tzu and a shih-tzu can not have sex with a pit bull. There is too much of a size difference.

  12. #12
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    I actually had a daschund/lab mix.. So it is possible. No matter the size difference, they'll find a way to get their groove on if they want to.

  13. #13
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    ^ LOL...

    Looks like ItchyBallSack is going to have a lot of fun playing with his MissingBallSack.

  14. #14
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    3rd person he bit? What made you not do something the 1st and 2nd time? People like you make me sick. My aunt is a dog trainer (she believes in "all positive reinforcement," which doesn't work worth a shit and the dogs are as bad as parents who never punish their kids but opt to sit back and praise everything) who doesn't practice what she preaches, and she thinks that it's funny and cute when the dogs jump up on people, which is why my uncle refuses to have kids with her. If the stupid dogs were to get around kids, they'd love them to death in the worst kid of way. I told my aunt that if the dogs got shot, I'd have no pity for her.

    I'll be checking the Darwin awards for your masturbation story.

  15. #15
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    I just think this guy is bsing us.

  16. #16
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Yeah, I doubt that someone so dumb could not have been snuffed out of the gene pool yet.

  17. #17
    Veteran Member Aine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Dang, that feeling to do the fake sneeze and say "bullshit" in the middle of it is overwhelming again...lol.

  18. #18
    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Oh, believe me...the OP is definitely someone who should refrain from adding to the gene pool...and now with the "accident" it's guaranteed.


  19. #19
    God/dess MrChristopher's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    You remember the mention I made of Chuck Palahniuk's newest book "Haunted"? The first story in it is called "Guts", and it's about a guy who loses all but six inches of his lower intestine while masturbating in a pool. What a coincidence.
    waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.

  20. #20
    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    ^ Oh yeah... I knew I read it somewhere.

  21. #21
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Itchyballsack keeps sending me his picture. He's kinda cute, but I don't think he's my type.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  22. #22
    Member ItchyBallSack's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus
    Itchyballsack keeps sending me his picture. He's kinda cute, but I don't think he's my type.
    Stop it, thilly fairy
    This is a serious thread, please to all you haters out there...stop the insults, I feel bad enough as it is about my dog and the litttle neighbor girl
    Krazyjane, she may have been the 3rd person he bit but since you don't know me or my situation who are you to judge?The first 2 people who got bit trespassed on my property and my dog did what he was trained to do, protect me. Calling me dumb and talking about me being snuffed out of the gene pool is real mature.
    The voices in my head think I'm funny

    No, we don't really but whatever!

  23. #23
    God/dess Rhiannon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Well Itchy.... I was going to hop on the Insult Wagon.. Then I realized... I can't insult you more than life itself already has.

    ::sigh::



  24. #24
    Member ItchyBallSack's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhiannon
    Well Itchy.... I was going to hop on the Insult Wagon.. Then I realized... I can't insult you more than life itself already has.

    ::sigh::


    You know I always hated you. You are mean and insensitive..and those are your good qualities. Thanks for allowing me to post in your section.
    The voices in my head think I'm funny

    No, we don't really but whatever!

  25. #25
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Instant Karma bites

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1
    Uhh, I own and show shih-tzu and a shih-tzu can not have sex with a pit bull. There is too much of a size difference.
    Totally possible. My last dog had a Lhasa for a mother and an Irish Wolfhound/Old English Sheepdog mix for a father.
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