My husband just got a "bar dance" not a lap dance... How is it? He didn't tell me or didn't want to, not sure...
Thanks
My husband just got a "bar dance" not a lap dance... How is it? He didn't tell me or didn't want to, not sure...
Thanks




it depends on the club and the area. it could be anything from an air dance (with no contact at all, to a dance that is basically a lap dance in a bar stool instead of a chair/couch)
if you really need to know, go check out the club on your own...(but a lot of clubs don't allow girls on their own, so call and see if you need to bring a male companion along).
Thanks for your answer... But I believe there was some sort of contact, because I smelled his shirt and I found women's perfume... What can you tell me about this?![]()




even if the dances are air dances, girls may have stood with an arm over his shoulder or something like that while just talking. some girls wear a Lot of perfume. the fact that his shirt smelled like perfume does not necessarily imply a "raunchy" dance.
you could just call the club and ask what their rules are...but that won't tell you how strictly the rules are enforced.
I think my imagination and insecurities are going to far, I don't know... He went to Flashdancers nyc...
I asked him for more info but I think he knows my reactions, so there were no answers..
Anyway your info helped me a lot... Thanks![]()




It's fairly standard in my club -- which is in an airdance state -- to have a friendly post-dance hug when the dancer is clothed again.





In my last club, table dances (supposedly involving no touching or contact) were almost as thorough as lap dances, depending on the dancer it could involve grinding the crotch.
But that's just a club in Florida, not that NY club.
How do you know he didn't get a lap dance and lie about it? Would he lie to you? I'm not trying to sow trouble or create suspicion, but so many husbands do about their stripclub experience--just as I'm sure many housewives would deny grabbing Rex' dick when they stuffed a dollar in there, lol.
I suppose it might be possible to get a perfume scent from an extended hug, some dancers wear a lot of perfume, or strong scents.
Or you could just blow it off, as I did when my dancer Gfriends have come home smelling of other men (they were giving thorough lapdances). Maybe you should go to a male stripclub and get a dance from one of them, and see how he handles it? Girls' night out, right?
Fair is fair...
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
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I know he didn't get a lap dance because I asked him. I don't think he lied to me, he said he had a bar dance at a bachellor party...





Then I'd say you can relax--lots of guys feel obligated to go along to bachelor parties out of loyalty or obligation to their friend, and get sucked into the idiocy whether they like it or not. Bachelor parties have to be by far the stupidest ritual of all the various little traditional elements of the American wedding--no way will I ever allow myself to have one--unless my future wife is dancing for me, lol...Originally Posted by carpediem
You can also have a friend buy you a dance, which you have no really big need for, and have some dancers rub all over you whether that's what you wanted or not.
And like I said, some dancers wear quite potent perfume--it wouldn't take much contact to leave traces of scent. Come to think of it, I've been given hugs by dancers, gotten home and smelled the perfume on my shirt as I was removing it--so yes, you can believe him and relax.
Sorry if I made it sound worse than it probably was--it's just that so much of our business comes from guys with a lot less moral integrity than that which your husband seems to have.
Just remind him of all this if you ever go to a bachelorette party and have 'Rex' rubbing himself all over you along with your friends.
You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
George Clinton
______________________________________





Even with minimal to no contact, if a man goes into a strip club, particularly one with poor air ventilation, he's going to bring some of that SC smell home with him, including dancer perfume. Thats the way it goes.
![]()
Former SCJ now in rehab.
I think you're fine, carpediem... if he was secretly some kind of seasoned pro at this, he would have changed his clothes so that you didn't smell the perfume, which does tend to get all over everything within a 12-foot radius. It sounds to me like he was at a bachelor's party, everyone else was getting dances, and either a friend bought him one or he succumbed to the herd mentality and went for it. Obviously, you're allowed to feel how you feel about it, but this "bar dance" doesn't sound too risque.
Guys think differently than women about this stuff anyway. Getting a dance is about as serious as downloading some goofy girls-gone-wild stuff on the internet for most of them. If anything, he got a harmless little charge out of it that he hopefully came home and shared with you!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Thank you all for sharing your thoughts with me. After a few days I feel better about the whole situation. I just tend to over react a little sometimes, and that makes me insecure... But it's something that I'm working on, to feel more confident in my own skin...
By the way I always thought I wanted to be an exotic dancer, is my fantasy... Do you guys think that this job is empowering? Would I grow my confidence dancing for other guys? Am I crazy?
Ps: maybe this is why I over react with him.![]()




my personal opinion is that if you're confident when you start dancing then you'll be a confident dancer. if you're insecure then it probably won't change that in the long run. you'll have good days and bad days.Originally Posted by carpediem
guys will tell you that you're beautiful and throw money at you. guys will treat like an inferior object. guys will say things that are rude, demeaning and cruel. some guys won't be attracted to you and they won't always be polite about it.
if you let the compliments make you feel good, chances are the insults are going to bring you down.
there are a lot of great reasons to dance, but i don't think boosting self-esteem is really one of them. but that's just me...
also at one club i work. the girls do dance for a guy at the bar! it's a stand up version of a lapdance. however, contact is minimal.
Originally Posted by georgiapeach
I dont agree with this.. when i started dancing I was very self concious and had no confidence... with time the confidence came to me.
I recomend doing a lot of reading in the newbie and stripping general sections of the forum.
Dancing can be very fun and a bit of a thrill... guys drooling over you and throwing money at you and telling you your their dream woman.
But you have to remember there are downs to it... days you make no money and guys are harsh to you.
But for every bad day there are three good days... it comes with time.
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