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Thread: So frustrated

  1. #1
    Senior Member Pinup Girl's Avatar
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    Default So frustrated

    Well, I've decided to quit stripping, get a "real job" (not that stripping isn't), and head back to school. The reason why is because I was starting to feel really burnt out. It got to the point where I didn't want to ask anyone for dances anymore. I felt ugly and like I was not doing well at stripping. Also I learned that the rep my club had was a joke to some. I don't know. Now I am very, very frustrated. I haven't even really put that much effort into getting a real job, but I'm dreading it. I've sent out a few resumes, but I know I need to step up my efforts. I just keep thinking about how little money I will have now. Please tell me some of y'all have been through this terrible transition phase before. Will it get better? I am considering returning to dancing in the future, but right now I have to deal with the "real world."

    Maybe, finally, it's time to grow up...

  2. #2
    Veteran Member Sinful333's Avatar
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    Default Re: So frustrated

    I have been dancing for almost 9 years off and on. When I get to the point you are at I quit and get a day job. It is always hard to transition. Explaining where I have been working for the last year and a half each time makes it harder.

    You will get through it, your a tough girl (have to be, to work in our profession) and things will get better.

    Although, I am in school full time and I find it is much easier to work nights at the club and go to school than it is to work during the day and go. I also find that when I am in school, I dont get burned out as quick, and the club is kinda like a little vacation from the stress of 'real life'.

    Good Luck

    Sin-

  3. #3
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: So frustrated

    What's 'real life'?

    I'm not being a jerk--I'm serious here.

    I've gone through 2-3 periods of burnout just as you describe, and have several times had issues with the whole rat race that the process of seeking a job in the 'real' world can be.

    Right now I'm barely emerging from the worst case of burnout I've seen yet--the fact that some really crazy things happened to me and mine 6 months ago kind of made it a lot worse, especially when my way of dealing with it was to plunge 100% of myself into a club that is more of a circus than a stripclub.

    But the 'real world' is full of artificial, contrived rules and patterns of behavior--if you read any philosophy seriously, or maybe a good book about physics, you'll see it quite clearly.

    The whole resume deal, putting on a good front, pretending to be the perfect candidate, vowing to embrace the 9-5 Protestant Work Ethic, well--it's never worked all that well for me. This is what happens, and I've written this before, so bear with me, those of you who read it already, lol...

    Either I know I should get the fucking job, and therefore fail to display the appropriate humility (though I'm not an arrogant man, really), or I don't really want the job, even if I need a job, with the same result.

    Being born a rebel in this world has it's advantages and disadvantages--you can see right through all the bullshit that the typical 9-5 white-collar job entails, but it makes it exceedingly difficult to fit into society--and thats bad if you decide to try doing that.

    The best solution, of course, is to start your own business--but that has pitfalls of it's own. Having your own business requires a lot.

    First you have to pick the right one--it's gotta be a 'realistic' business. Then you have to have self-discipline, above all--dedication, perseverence, salesmanship, etc., etc.

    I don't know what the answer is for you, and maybe this isn't helping, but not all of us fit into the niche that society wants us to fit into.

    You're not alone, so hang in there...
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  4. #4
    Veteran Member Sinful333's Avatar
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    Default Re: So frustrated

    This question always comes up...

    "What is 'real life'?"

    Let me clarify this for my previous comment and future comments I make.

    When I go to work, as soon as I walk in the front door, I am a different person. I am who 'they' want me to be, I am who I need to be to make money, etc.

    'Real Life'... Im anti-social yet a social butterfly, Im bitchy and bitter, I dont smile a lot and I dont dance and flirt. Sooo, my real life is a lot different than the 'me' I play at work.

    Sin-

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    Default Re: So frustrated

    Real life "aka the rat race" involves working Monday-Friday 8-5 with an hour for lunch, taking paperwork home with you, waking up at 5AM, leaving home at 6:15, leaving work at 5:15 or later, getting home at 6:30 or later depending on if you have to stop for groceries, and trying to be in bed by 10. It also means maybe gettin 2 weeks vacation per year, and only being able to go out of town on 3 day weekends with all the rest of the rat race people.

    A job is only a means to an end. We work for money, and as the old saying goes, "it's not waht you do but how you do it."As Djoser said, the better alternative is working for yourself, or better yet, having your money work for you so you don't have to work. But everyone is not of the right personna to work for themselves, and that is why so many dancers struggle.

    Do you really want to be part of the real world rat race, or is dancing becoming hard to make a decent living from? Because if you can accumulate enough money from dancing as Melonie has, you can allow your money to work for you, and not have to physically work for anyone again.

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    God/dess FrustratedBunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: So frustrated

    shit I'm getting burnt out on my job and am tempted to quit and just try dancing full time. But I know how it is in Tampa for dancers and I don't think I want to quit my job. But I do understand burnout. I think it can happen in every career.

  7. #7
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: So frustrated

    This may belong in its own thread and poll (don't know how to do those) but which statement rings more true to you?

    1. "You do what you are."

    2. "You are what you do."

  8. #8
    Senior Member Pinup Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: So frustrated

    You are what you do.

    That seems more true. Why?

  9. #9
    Featured Member paintgoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: So frustrated

    You'll get used to it if you choose it. I've been out of dancing for four months due to an unfortunate turn of events in my life... and... i miss it like all hell. It was the last time I felt fabulous. But... I also don't have to hype myself up on the way to work, or feel the continual pressure to hustle hustle hustle... i just sit at my computer and the only time I think about the money is when I see the check in the mail when I get home from work on Fridays. Totally different mindset.

    I didn't realize how on guard I was when I danced until I took a normal job. I'm not constantly watching who's around me (whether competition or threat or potential customer). I sit. I type. I copy. and yet... I miss my freakin platforms at the same time. It's a trade-off. That's all I can tell you. It's not all that bad, especially since you know that you can ALWAYS return to dancing if the 9-5 grind eats you up too much. The secret knowledge that my ass looks f-ing amazing in booty shorts keeps my spirits up when i feel like my presence is getting absorbed by the surrounding women wearing traditional office-gear and talking about their favorite brownies or the weather. gah....

    let us know what you decide. wishing you luck.
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  10. #10
    Featured Member aviendha's Avatar
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    Default Re: So frustrated

    I think everyone gets job burnout. Hell, I *love* my job and my career, and I get burned out too. WHen that happens, it's time for a vacation, even if it's just the kind of vacation where you stay home and read books and eat bon bons in bed the whole time. If you can't take one, just try to set aside more time where you're not doing anything but relaxing. It should help.

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