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Thread: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

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    Default did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    So I really hesistated telling many of my friends about the dancing at first. Eventually I told everyone that I am close to. None of them condemned me for it or acted anything other than curious and very, very surprised.

    Then one friend took it up, and she brought our mutual friend into it too...It's a long story, but basically the first one kinda got way too drunk when she started, and I really didn't like her doing it. She kept quitting, then going back to it...for about three months now. She's still dancing sporadically, as is the other one (the first has a full time job- a good one she went to college for- and the other is a university student like me)...

    And two more of my friends are seriously considering it for the short term (like they want to do it for two weeks only to make some fast money). I really don't feel comfortable with any of this. I feel guilty, like maybe I misrepresented the job somehow? All those bad things that you think of when 'stripper' comes up, I tell them that they still apply (you have to avoid the drugs, the crazies, and of course all the judgement and/or secrecy). The money isn't *always* amazing, and I'm just a lucky earner half the time.

    Not to mention that when the first two do come into work, they're all in my locker, wearing my stuff...I told them, if they're going to do it, and keep doing it, they can get their own damn costumes. And now they just go into my locker and wear my stuff when I'm not even at work (and call me to tell me so two days later). They're sweet girls, and good friends, but a little childish sometimes. I was frankly relieved when I thought they'd quit, because no more babysitting...

    Yeah, I just have this weird feeling. I don't regret dancing- it's a good thing for me. But it's not for everyone- it's no quick fix to debt, god knows. And I'd hate to be a destructive influence on anyone. Some of these girls have substance abuse problems- I mean, if they couldn't stay off the coke in their normal daily lives...

    has anyone else had this happen?

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    I haven't had this happen, but then I wouldn't tell my more, ahem, immature friends certain things about me. If I knew they had a coke problem, were childish I wouldn't want to put the suggestion in their head, or like what you have to deal with, babysit them at work.

    Not that it wasn't right to be open with your friends, mollyz, but it really sucks that they are taking advantage of your knowledge/generosity! They are grown women and shouldn't use "childishness" as an excuse to use your stuff without asking, impose etc.

    my 2cents

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    I think you need to sit down and have a serious talk with them. You need to let them know that you're there to work and to make money. If that's what they're there for too, great, but they need to do that and stop borrowing your things. Tell them you bought that with your own money and that you need those costumes to make money and you keep them in your locker for YOU not them. If it were me I'd change the lock on my locker so they can't go into it when you're not there. I think some people just need a good kick in the ass for a reality check. This sucks but they have to respect your things. I hate it when friends come over to my house and say " I don't like what I'm wearing, can I wear some of your clothes?" In the past I've let friends wear something of mine out and they either got food on it, stretched it out or it took them forever to give it back and when I did get it back, they didn't even bother to launder it or if they did launder it, they did it wrong and either shrunk it or got a color that bled on it during the wash. Now, I don't let anyone wear my things and you shouldn't either unless you want to continue to not have anything to wear, have your things lost, stretched out, etc. Good luck!

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    Do your friends look to you as some sort of role model? I don't have a single friend that followed me into stripping.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    Agree with Bella. I have friends that I later found out were strippers, but I wouldn't ever recommend anyone I care about get into it...sorry, its the truth, too much societal pressure....

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    I had one...no, actually two good friends who got into stripping after I told them. One gave up shortly after as her mum found out (as she read her diary!! Eek!) and the other I think is still doing it (we're not so closely in touch any more). I was surprised about the second friend's decision as she was all about her body being for her and her man.

    I also had one other female friend who I told and she was keen to get started into it but her boyf said no way, lol. So she's happy to live through my stripper experiences!
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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    Quite a few of my friends got into stripping through me. At least 3 of my friends got involved directly through me and i know a few more are thinking about it. Luckily none of my friends have acted like this tho. They are all pretty mature and handle themselves well. One left pretty quickly tho as she wasnt really suited to the job. If these girls are affecting your work, friends or no friends, you need to sort it out. Your gonna have to be firm and be ready for any arguments that might well occur. Tell them that they just cant borrow your costumes anymore, change your locker key and be firm. These girls are taking advantage of your good nature, a good friend would take responsibility for themselves and not walk all over you.

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    Yeah, i am going to change my lock. I absolutely did not recommend this to them! I kept trying to dissuade all of them- if I ever thought they'd get the idea of doing it themselves, I never would have told them a thing. When they said "we're gonna dance too!" I was horrified.

    I refused to take them to the club, but they just showed up one day and I saw them talking to the manager. But I'm not their mother, they're all my age...I don't know how to tell them "no, you can't to this, it's terrible for you"...basically I've said that, but it's not my decision. It's just frustrating. Well..I'm considering changing clubs anyway, so...there are plenty of clubs in town.

    And I don't think they see me as a role model, they're just envious of the money. I keep telling them, try waitressing- the waitresses at work sometimes make $400 a night. There are just so many trainwrecks who dance, and I hate to think my friends will fall into that. And they won't listen to me when I say "you know, it's a shit job, maybe this isn't for you?"

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    How long has this been going on? Maybe the thrill of it will wear off soon and they'll quit. I'm sorry, that sounds really annoying. Psh, maybe changing your lock will encourage them to quit (since they'll have to only wear what little outfits they have).
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    Do Not allow them to use your costumes! To put it delicately--you don't know what they might have or what their partners might have. You don't want crabs giving you the grind do ya? If they can't own up to having used your outfits do you think they'll own up to having an STD? Not to mention drug users are notorious for NEVER taking responsibility for fucking other people over or for caring for themselves. Expect a guilt trip but protect your stuff and your self respect.

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    Wow. Sounds awful. I've also had friends express interest in dancing when I tell them what I do; I'm upfront with them about the pros and cons. I don't really feel like it's up to me to make their decisions. I had one friend who was moving to a new city and seriously considering dancing there. She's a very smart and level-headed girl, and I didn't have any concerns about her. She ended up getting a very good job, and not dancing. Right now I have another friend who wants to give it a try and wants me to take her to my club and introduce her. I have serious reservations about doing that. She's a smart girl, but has a bad temper and tends to mysteriously create drama everywhere she goes. I'm not thrilled at the idea of working with her -- I don't want to end up babysitting.

    I say change your lock and NEVER give anyone your combination. Also, if they don't work too often, maybe arrange your shifts so you're not working at the same time they are.

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    Default Re: did any of your friends follow you into dancing?

    I actually followed a friend into dancing. I originally taught her how to bartend and then she taught me how to hustle. The experience has been invaluable on both ends. I am glad that I have my own locker though. Just keeps things simple.

    I think it was easier for me to make the transition to dancing knowing that I already had a friend in the club. Even though I didn't see her all night, just knowing she was there and easily accessible was enough to calm my nerves. And having a rooting section for while I was onstage for the first couple times also helped!!

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