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Thread: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

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    Default whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    I am the craziest most jealous bitch in the world. But i dont understand.... I am a dancer who makes good money for being beautiful. I get compliments and turn heads EVERY WHERE i go. Guys ask to take me out all the time, or for my number. But when it comes to my b/f and my past b/fs....i feel like they are "just saying that" when they say im beautiful. And if i see them look at another woman,i feel insecure and upset,whether its out in town or on tv. Last night me and my b/f were playin Fight Night and the little cartoon bikini model came out holding the round number, and he made a comment about her booty (being that it was a cartoon) and i was raging inside!!! WTF is wrong with me?????? I know he wouldnt be with me if i wasnt attractive...... its making me crazy and actually depresses me at times.

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    Well, it's normal to feel a little jealous when your SO finds someone else attractive... It's normal. Lol, but it was a cartoon! Hehe. Lol, I didn't catch that at first... Well, ARE you insecure?
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    I know that is a horrible feeling. I used to get like that also. It would literally make me insane. And it was always over the most lame things too. I haven't felt like that in a long time though, and I think it was just insecurities. You just have to remind yourself that you are hot and your bf knows you're hot and wants to be with you and not someone else - that's why you're together. It helped me also when I started having more of a life outside of just the two of us - like having more going on. I don't know, good luck though!

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    i am kinda insecure. I hate my hair and dont know what to do with it so i always leave it up and plain, ev en though i know he likes it down. My booty is not as big as it used to be...I know it will just take a little exercise to get tht right. Its just i want to do more to myself, to be as beautiful as i know im capable of....just dont have the money. i got a box of hair dye in the bath room right now. ...but scared to do my own hair again. But if i could style it and stuff, i know id feel sexier.

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    Quote Originally Posted by Xiomara
    i am kinda insecure. I hate my hair and dont know what to do with it so i always leave it up and plain, ev en though i know he likes it down. My booty is not as big as it used to be...I know it will just take a little exercise to get tht right. Its just i want to do more to myself, to be as beautiful as i know im capable of....just dont have the money. i got a box of hair dye in the bath room right now. ...but scared to do my own hair again. But if i could style it and stuff, i know id feel sexier.
    Guys could give a damn about all that hair styling shit. Oh sure, once in a while I'll like a distinctive look or a new 'do, but countless times I've gone in the dressing room to bug the better-looking dancers to please hurry up so we can all look at someone besides Lola, the 53 year old Asian hooker, onstage.

    There will be some lissome, nubile, delightfully clad woman, desperately pleading for more time "My hair isn't ready yet!!". I'm not a perv back there, or I wouldn't ever go in, but I want to say "What hair?".

    But yes, wear your hair down, we do love it, and if your Bfriend likes it he'll give you more attention, which means you'll feel less jealous!

    The booty? Relax, why do you need a bigger booty--forget J Lo. Bigger isn't better at all in my eyes (not that I should matter in the least to you, but other guys agree), smaller is better, if anything. Workout to keep it toned, but not to make it bigger.

    But far more important is to work on your total self-confidence--not just sexually but as a total person. the more secure you are about everything, the less threatened you'll feel about anything in particular, jealousy included.

    Unfortunately, while dancing can be an ego-booster, especially at first, after a while it tends to focus attention on external appearance, and guys' lust. I've seen it happens hundreds of times, where perfectly beautiful women become actually less secure (though it can be hard to see unless you watch for certain things)--since their esteem is tied in with how much attention they get from customers.

    Who cares? What's important is how you feel inside...

    Also, stay away from people who enjoy egging on jealousy at all costs--I'm not talking about guys who praise cartoon characters, I'm sure your boyfriend didn't mean to incite you there. I have no idea if he's the type to do this, some people love it.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    The more you look in the mirror the more things you will find that you want to "fix". Pretty girls are a dime a dozen and you need to stop comparing yourself to them. I think you need to spend less time focusing on your physical appearance and more time on your other qualities. What else do you have to offer besides a hot body/pretty face? Your looks will fade in time, no matter what you do. Please learn to value yourself for other things.

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    Xiomara:
    Stop worrying about how you look and start worrying about what other people are seeing.

    It sounds like the bf in your life is secure in your presence and that your continual efforts to get him to treat you how you deserve to be treated serve only to further his security in a lack of need to openly show his affection towards you, if indeed, it's there.

    Start doing things for yourself. Enforcing individuality, and not only will you start to feel the sincerety behind those comments (because he will want to make sure you're still his and you're not leaving him) but then hopefully you'll find him being in your life is about choice, and that "you're so hot" is nice, but redundant and he should get more creative

    Familiarity breeds conetempt.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    Quote Originally Posted by jessica_rabbit
    What else do you have to offer besides a hot body/pretty face? Your looks will fade in time, no matter what you do. Please learn to value yourself for other things.
    Well put, Jessica! Everyone should go look at a current picture of Elizabeth Taylor, once unquestionably the hottest woman on the planet. We ALL age. But only some of us grow up. Take Angelina Jolie, who seems to have grown up considerably from her wild days (okay, let's discount her excessive interest in body ink). If the choice was between Taylor (in her hayday) or Jolie, I'd still pick Jolie, whom I sense is the more interesting individual.

    Complex, talented, thoughtful people are always more attractive, especially in the long-run, than "hotties."

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    One thing i do love about myself is that i am a VERY independant woman. I pay my own bills,buy my own food (ok,lets forget about the fact that i was questioning food stamps--we're past that) pick up my own ticket when a man takes me out to eat....even enjoy going out to eat at a fancy restaraunt by myself with my study materials. A lot of woman,even drop dead gorgeous women,depend on a man for financial things, or other things. Today is the first time i ever let my b/f buy me a pedicure,manicure. ...even though he's offered a million times. So i ot that going for me, and i am ambitious,which he points out a lot. If i see somethin i want i go for it. Like this condo,like my car, like the computer,like my good ass grades.. I saved and saved and worked and worked and didnt give up. I guess thats a quality that some hot girls dont have. I dunno....maybe just a few physical things here and there, and ill feel better. Dancing wears me out so much that i hardly have energy to do my hair and lotion my body every night,and work out....
    thanx guys...

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    ...your continual efforts to get him to treat you how you deserve to be treated serve only to further his security in a lack of need to openly show his affection towards you, if indeed, it's there.
    Ha, I knew it! Fuckin' guys.

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    Quote Originally Posted by Xiomara
    I am the craziest most jealous bitch in the world. But i dont understand.... I am a dancer who makes good money for being beautiful. I get compliments and turn heads EVERY WHERE i go. Guys ask to take me out all the time, or for my number. But when it comes to my b/f and my past b/fs....i feel like they are "just saying that" when they say im beautiful. And if i see them look at another woman,i feel insecure and upset,whether its out in town or on tv. Last night me and my b/f were playin Fight Night and the little cartoon bikini model came out holding the round number, and he made a comment about her booty (being that it was a cartoon) and i was raging inside!!! WTF is wrong with me?????? I know he wouldnt be with me if i wasnt attractive...... its making me crazy and actually depresses me at times.
    It is the way in which they are saying it, or looking. Everyone is going to look at the opposite sex. Some guys make lood comments, or do it for the sheer reason OF making you jealous, pulling up emotion so you will react to it, give more and try harder to please. They want you to feel as if you aren't good enough. It's okay to look at the opposite sex and think they are attractive, my bf tells me who he thinks is attractive and I do the same with him. What is not okay is if you do it for other reasons, or objectify by making lood comments. That is disgraceful to the person and to you for doing it. I wouldn't go out with a guy who does this. It's immature, they aren't seeing the person behind the body. Generally, attractiveness starts in the mind with me and my bf. That's why porn doesn't really do anything for me. I am desensitized to jealousy because I was with someone who looked at women and cheated constantly, and I am realistic about my own looks. It's a full package, and if you feel confident about the fact that you have more to offer than just a body, you won't feel jealous anymore. Confidence in yourself and your abilities is what's important. You can fix this: by improving your self confidence (through affirmations, gaining skills & wisdom, etc.) But if you are constantly going to have to counteract your bf's negativity and objectification, it is going to be more work than it is worth. Talking it out with him would be a good start. Chances are, he will say, "All guys make lood comments. (etc...)." Don't believe it. My bf doesn't.

    There is nothing wrong with you. Chances are, you are accepting less than you deserve, and it is affecting you emotionally. Remember: depression doesn't just happen. There are environmental ties, and you are allowing yourself to be depressed. Fix the environment, that is the most important factor is where you are in life and whether it is a happy place for you. Start exploring what is causing these feelings and make changes to fix them.

    The five steps is a good process:

    1. Stop/Halt - How do you feel?
    2. Determine what the problem is.
    3. Come up with three possible courses of action.
    4. Figure out which one is best for now.
    5. Do it.
    Last edited by erotictonic; 05-13-2006 at 04:32 PM.

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    Quote Originally Posted by erotictonic
    Some guys make lood comments, or do it for the sheer reason OF making you jealous, pulling up emotion so you will react to it, give more and try harder to please.
    There sure are guys like this, and women as well, who love nothing better than to play the same kind of jealousy-inducing games in order to 'keep you on your toes', and constantly remind you that you need to pay attention to them, since there's a zillion guys/girls out there who will if you don't.

    It's a fucking sick game, and unfortunately both sexes play it. And in cases like these, the jealousy is a sign that something is wrong with the relationship, as well as possibly both parties involved.

    It didn't sound like your guy was playing that game, but if he is--it's dead wrong.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    Quote Originally Posted by Xiomara
    I am the craziest most jealous bitch in the world. But i dont understand.... I am a dancer who makes good money for being beautiful. I get compliments and turn heads EVERY WHERE i go. Guys ask to take me out all the time, or for my number. But when it comes to my b/f and my past b/fs....i feel like they are "just saying that" when they say im beautiful. And if i see them look at another woman,i feel insecure and upset,whether its out in town or on tv. Last night me and my b/f were playin Fight Night and the little cartoon bikini model came out holding the round number, and he made a comment about her booty (being that it was a cartoon) and i was raging inside!!! WTF is wrong with me?????? I know he wouldnt be with me if i wasnt attractive...... its making me crazy and actually depresses me at times.
    Try and see "inside" the person you are with. It's so easy to get the wrong impression, or only consider things from your own point of view.

    I've had gf's say or do things that make me think "WFT - that wasn't very nice/kind/etc". Yet, when I've thought about it, from their point of view they've acted with perfectly good intent.

    Sometimes you have to realise that your interests are not perfectly aligned with your partners, and what seems a bit of fun to you, might be hurtful or insensative to them.

    It really comes down to intent - did my other half intend to be hurtful, or was it uninentional and they didn't realise they were doing it? The only time I feel you should feel offended is when the intent is deliberate - otherwise a tactful explanation of why you are feeling hurt is a better idea.

    If your other half cares for you, they'll generally try and avoid doing that particular thing in the future.

    And to my mind that is one of the key parts of a sucessful relationship - a mutual desire to understand the other person, and to behave in a way that accomodates the other person's wants, needs, desires and feelings.

    Before you start feeling insecure, think: "did my bf really mean to hurt me, or was it just a casual throwaway remark whose effect he didn't understand. Odds are he didn't realise the effect - as you say you were "raging inside".

    And look at it from his perspective: he made a casual remark and was probably left wondering what he did wrong. If there's a "customer web", he's probably posting; "I'm dating this great dancer, then last night she got really upset for reasons I dont understand while we were playing Fight Night. What did I do wrong?"

    Phil.

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    he meant it as a lil joke, one that if anybody else said it i would agree. but i dunno, i guess i wanna be the only one in his world,or in the world of anybody who i care about. he,unlike a lot of other guys,can keep from turning their head when im around if a girl passes by. i appreciate that. i guess its just knowing that im not the only attractive woman n pensacola that makes me crazy, or somethin. lol i dunno what my damn problem is.
    Oh,i got my hair cut and colored yesterday --at the salon for the first time-- and i love it. I left it down for once b/c he likes it that way, and all day he told me its beautiful and it looks good on me. we had a good day

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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    I used to be exactly the same way. I got sooo jealous when my boyfriend said that another girl was hot or whatever. . .Although he constantly told me that I was the most beautiful person in the world etc. I still got upset. . .
    But I talked to him and told him that he made me feel uncomfortable and also that I thoguht it was disrespectful, so now he doesn't do it anymore, problem solved!

    Talk to your BF. . even though he isn't saying it to hurt you or even making comments more often than any other guy, (my BF didn't either) he just have to respect the fact that he is in a relationship with you and even though you might not be entitled to become jelouse or angry, you do! Out of respect for you he doesn't have to make comments. There is no rules regarding what you can or can't be angry with, or demand from your partner. A relationship is between two people and only your partners' feelings and reactions set the standards for what you can do without upsetting him/her.

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    Featured Member Vamp's Avatar
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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    Whoa there is more to this forum than Doller Den lol

    Looks are only skin deep; with time it all fades. Then what do you do when you are 50 and you cant afford plastic surgery?

    I was talking to a male friend the other night. He was talking about how beautiful women make themselves ugly with their attitudes. Everything is about one's perspective.

    Jealousy can come from alot of places. Small doses are natural. But when it is so all consuming it has alot to do with how you view yourself. We are all more than how we look. We all should have our own thoughts, feelings, ideas, values, and character. We are each differant in our own vehicle we call a body. The key is founding out who you are.

    Once you find yourself, finding the one that is a kindred spirit who views you beyond your looks is alot easier. You will be secure within yourself enough to emotionally realize your own true worth.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: whatwrong with me???? jealosuy...

    Once I wondered why I was jealous and did a theory study on it if you want me to email it to you.

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